Disclaimer: The following is a non-profit, fan based story.Attackon Titans is owned by Hajime Isayama. I do however own Elena and Lance as well as any other OCs that may occur during this story. Thank you
Chapter Three: Reality
It's gone. It's all gone.
I try closing my eyes, while it was already hardly making anything better considering that with my eyes open, my vision was still hazy due to the crying that went on earlier. Now whenever I tried to cry, nothing came out. I guess I used all my tears up. I just couldn't shake the thoughts that continued to replay in my head. Watching both of my parents leave me…us. Glancing down at Lance who has yet to speak. He continued to stare off into nothingness until he passed out. Both mentally and physically exhausted from today. I don't blame him, just wish that he would come back to me. We are all that each other has left in this world. No one will be there for us the way that we can for each other. Sighing, I glance behind us once more, the smoke from the town had increased, but I could no longer see bodies of people left behind or the titan that broke through the wall. It didn't make me feel any safer. Nothing would.
"We're dead and standing at the gate of hell," an older man whimpered while holding his head. No one was making this situation any better. Everyone was still in panic mode. In front of the man, a boy stood up, walking to the side of the boat, closer to Lance and myself. Eren Yeager. He was the first person that I recognized since we have been on this boat. If Eren is here, then I highly suspect that Mikasa is as well. Those two are always everywhere together. His expression is what shocked me. He was crying but held a look of determination in his green eyes. I focused a little on what he was saying, trying not to eavesdrop when he pushes the blond kid away when he tried to consult him.
"I'm gonna put a stop to this... I'll kill them all… every last one," he growled. The will in his voice was encouraging, but, in reality, it was mindless stupidity. But I couldn't help but feel his pain. Who knows what he went through to get here. Judging from the fact of not seeing his mother, I suspected that it was because something had happened to her. I shook my head, clearing the images that surfaced, not wanting to even imagine anything that happened to do with Shiganshina.
As we piled into the town, it became obvious that we were not welcomed. The citizens would look at us like disgusting farm animals. Their side glances and absurd comments regarding out whereabouts didn't improve as we walked to our new homes. With the increase of people, there were no houses, instead most slept wherever they could. The children were lucky enough to take hold in a church. It was filled with hay, making the farm animal comments more real. Although no one complained out loud, I could see it on their faces that no one was pleased with the way we were treated. At night, as we descended into our living quarters, each taking their spots on the hay, few slept. Those who did, cried themselves to sleep. Others would yell out in their sleep, waking the little who did manage to find a rest. I watched over Lance, over the past few nights, he was one of the few that would cause the screaming fest. My nightmares were slim, probably because I didn't sleep well. Whenever I closed my eyes, all I could see were flashbacks of that day. So, most of my nights were spent watching over everyone else, until another screaming session took place.
The time here made me realize that I took a lot of simple things for granted. It dawned on me, about a month after we arrived, there was no privacy. We didn't get that pleasure. With cleaning, many made due with using small buckets of water from the river to clean themselves. Others waited for the rain, which depleted as winter began to come closer. New clothing was out of the question. We simply made due with what we had.
The darker side of humanity was a terrifying thing. With all that was going on, some people couldn't handle it. Resulting to participating in horrific acts. The worst was happening behind closed doors. Not everyone feared titans as much as they feared each other. Nighttime was the scariest. With families broken apart, many would resort to appealing themselves by doing vile acts. Women, old and young, were getting taken walking alone in secluded areas, coming up missing or having their bodies found barely indefinable. Groups of people would stalk and plot to steal from families that got more rations. Many people were found with slit throats or worse. The fact that the military police didn't do anything about these events didn't change a thing. They would always turn a blind eye when someone would report a problem or someone missing. Maybe they didn't care, or maybe they were happy to have one more of us gone. Whatever their reasoning for not helping was, it caused fear in everyone. We lived in fear every single day of ourselves. Titans are said to be humanities enemy, but we may be our own worst enemy if this continues anymore. I made sure to keep Lance close to me, walking through town at populated times, to decrease the possibilities of running into someone.
Daily, when the church bell rang, everyone would line up to receive their rations for the day. A small piece of bread usually. The snickers from the soldiers grew more intense as the days went on. The comments became more severe to the point that many people started fighting each other. Fighting over food or a difference in views. After making sure Lance was full, I would eat the remaining portions. From the sun, my copper hair darken, giving it a dirtier tone. Not that it mattered, being different wasn't necessarily a bad thing.
"Will the stupidity ever stop?" Lance had begun to talk a little more after our extended time here. His words usually implying that he disagreed with an action. Never simply conversation. He didn't ask to do anything anymore. He didn't laugh. There was no more running. When we had to go somewhere, he simply followed silently. He didn't shoot out remarks to the mean soldiers as they blamed him for their shortages, he didn't talk to anyone outside of myself, and I could only call that a small accomplishment considering his words.
"I doubt it," I sighed. "Everyone is in a difficult place. No one knows what is going to happen." No one did know. We all lived in fear of tomorrow. At any time, the Titan from before could suddenly surface again and kick down Wall Rose. We were all scared and taking it out on everyone around us. Lance stood up, it appeared that he wasn't happy with my reply, and began to walk back to our sleeping area. He has changed so much. I miss my little brother. Staring off into nowhere, my thoughts playing on previous times with Lance, I didn't notice someone stopping, trying to get my attention until a small hand waved itself in front of my face.
"You there?" a kind tone asked. Blinking, I looked to the voice. In front of me stood the blond boy who was getting bullied before in Shiganshina
. He was carrying a lot of bread. Five pieces to be exact. How he got them was beyond me and if anyone saw him with it, I bet he would have a few negative words thrown his way.
"You might want to hide those," I glanced to the bread. Offering a suggestion to help. I really didn't want to see him into a broil with these bigger men over food. He smiled, grabbing two from his pile.
"My grandpa got extra. Told them that he had children to feed. Give one to your brother," I stared at his hand before turning to his face.
"What is your name?" I questioned. All this time, I have seen him, even before, in Shiganshina. I knew of him but never knew his name. Feeling a bit rude, I shake my head before trying to apologize, but he declined, pushing the bread into my hand before replying.
"Armin Arlert, and you?" with the bread in my lap, he offers me his hand to shake. I smile taking his hand as we formally introduce ourselves.
"Elena Brewer."
Winter approached causing the warm climate to turn chiller. We had to walk further into the town to get rations. Guess it was much easier for the distributors that way, keeping them out of the cold less. The earlier I get there, the faster I can get back and into some semi-heat. I stood in line, about ten people from collecting the rations when I blew out a puff of air, causing condensation to escape my mouth. When it cleared, my eyes instantly locked with something gold in the distance. It was a boy, around my age, who was standing next to a house with bread in his hand. Beside him, a taller boy was talking, but he didn't seem to pay much attention to whatever he was saying. I wanted to flinch and look away from him as his expression indicating seriousness as if he was looking for something. He wasn't little, probably a year or two older than me. His short blonde hair was coated in snowflakes and his golden eyes pierced through the light snow storm and straight at me. I could feel my face heat up as this intense staring contest continued, neither one looked away until my concentration broke when somebody's voice whispered next to me.
"Hey there sexy? Move forward before someone gets mad at us." I blinked, turning my head, sliding up to the correct before confronting into the voice behind me.
"Sorry if I startled you, I couldn't help but be amazed at that smoking red hair and gorgeous face. My name is Jean and you are?"
This guy was taller than me, with sandy brown hair and a slender frame. He didn't seem like much besides his larger than life ego. "Hey, umm, Jean, do you by any chance, know who those boys are?" completely disregarding his previous question, I felt embarrassing asking someone I just met about someone else I didn't know. Jean looked confused, questioning who exactly I was asking about. Not wanting to point or even turn back to them, giving away my position. I quickly nodded my head towards the general direction of the boys. His eyes followed then he looked back at me with a small smirk.
"There is no one there. Sweet stuff, I know my amazing presence may have you seeing double but are you okay?" my head shot to the previous location of the boy as I looked around for him. Jean was right, there was no one there. I know I didn't just imagine that. I'm not the crazy one here. Shaking my head, I turn back to the line, wanting to get back to the living quarters quicker than ever before.
Year 846
We were put to work in the fields. Trying to cultivate the wastelands to secure food. Every day, we would tend to the fields, trying to improve our chances of survival. We failed. The winter months caused the lands to freeze up, growing nothing. The food supply continued to deplete until the central government made a major decision. Deploying a lot of the older men and women on a mission. A mission that would retake Wall Maria. The following day, they left. Over the next few days, the food shortage was a little better, but I couldn't help but wonder how well the mission was going. Nearly 250,000 bodies were sent. They must regain control with that amount. Everyone's mood picked up at the possibility of going back home. Reclaiming our lands back and finally go back to something normal. Somewhere we aren't despised. I smiled, remembering our house. I wonder if it's still standing. Those thoughts were quickly shot down when the deployed troops returned. Expecting good news, we all ran to meet them, only to find the horrible truth. Our numbers had been dramatically reduced to merely nothing. There were barely 200 survivors. An instant repeat of a year ago. Humanity got slaughtered.
Pacing around the church, I was alone. I couldn't shake the feeling that there was something more to this. How could only 200 people out of 250,000 people survive? It didn't make sense. Did they just run in there? Were there no weapons? Did the government not supply those people with any sort of protection. I didn't want to focus on the actual action because I couldn't. I couldn't blame those people because when I was in their place, I probably did the same thing they did when a Titan was in front of me…freeze. One question still bothered me the most, and I knew I wouldn't get an answer for it. Did the government really send 250,000 people, equal to 20% of the total population to their deaths to preserve more food? Did they really give up all those lives, claiming it to be for some reclaiming cause when it was only a death mission? I didn't notice that I was speaking aloud until Lance spoke.
"That's is their fault for being weak and easily manipulated, they deserved to die." Lance as he walked out the church doors.
I stare off at his retreating figure, shocked by his logic. How can one say that about so many people who died fighting for what they believed to be right?
Many lost their family members with the unsuccessful war. Along with their sacrifices, the people continued to suffer mentally. Increasingly, more would panic, trying to guess the day that we all died. The day that humanity is finally wiped out. It triggered something in Lance. Now, instead of not speaking, he would result to fighting back. Every time someone would question him, he would have something back to say. Despite his slimming size, he was actually really provoking. At night, I would catch him not sleeping, just sitting in a corner watching, as though he was waiting for something. I pushed myself from my resting position, seeing Lance stand up and walk outside, I followed. I felt like a disgrace to my parents. They had left Lance in my care and this is what has become of him. I turned to walk away, feeling the tears gathering. I promised myself that I would stop crying, but once again I failed. Somehow, I feel as though his change is all my fault.
"Elena," His voice was hard.
"Yes?" I questioned, I didn't like the tone of his voice. He was angry.
"I'm joining the Cadets," I froze, staring wide-eyed at the determined boy. Now he was my height, he had grown so much in the past two years that his previous self was completely erased. His soft hazel eyes now displayed an intense glaze that glossed over with so much wrath and rage. His once short brown hair, was longer, running down to his shoulders covering most of his facial features. His small figure stayed the same, from the lack of food, making him look more like a starved beast waiting to strike rather than a human being anymore. My little cheerful and pure brother was no more.
"You can't be serious. You are too young and I will not allow you to throw your life away-," I was cut off by a louder, stern voice.
"You are the problem. You and everyone else here. Pathetic. Every day, I watch more and more humans die. Every night, I get to sit and watch in fear of not knowing if tomorrow I'll have to relive Shiganshina. Stay behind your piece of shit wall, hiding like the rest of the cowards. I am not like the rest of you human cattle, just waiting to be devoured whenever that Titan shows up again. Never will I freeze up like you, I will slaughter every damn thing that stands against me."
"Lance…we could die."
"We have too someday. But I'll go out fighting killing as many as I can before I fall, instead of relying on someone else to save me like some defenseless pup. I will not sit behind this wall waiting for a titan to come back and kill me, or even better for some piece of shit human to finish me off while I sleep. I will go to them, I will go to the Titans and end them, weak humans will be the fodder to my destruction of these creatures."
"Lance…" I began but stopped before I continued I honestly did not know what to say. Everything he said made sense, but the place where he was coming from was the damaging part. It is not just the Titans that he hates, its humans as well. This is Lance here. My brother, my only surviving family member left. He is all that I have in this world. Our parents gave away their lives to protect us. Protecting Lance from himself was reason enough. I have a chance to better myself in order to not depend on someone else.
"Together then," I lightly smile, trying to sound brave as the last tear fell down my face.
Year 847
"The 104th Cadet Corps Class entrance ceremony will now begin! You have the misfortune of having me, Keith Shadis, as your commandant! I do not welcome you warmly! In your current state, you'd be nothing but food for the Titans! You're merely livestock! You're less than livestock! Over the next three years, we're going to train you worthless nothings and teach you how to fight Titans! Three years from now, when you come face-to-face with the Titans, will you still be fodder for them! Will you serve as an honorable barrier that protects the king?! or will you be a glorious soldier for humanity that drives the Titans out! It's up to you to decide!"
