Author's Note: Thanks everyone for all the positive responses and reviews! It's absolutely flattering! DMB is in the picture for this chapter (don't hate me), but the only reason why he's here is because Andrew Marlowe said Josh is going to be in the picture for a while. If it were my show, I'd axe him, but it's not so Josh stays. But to recompense for it, Kate's here as well! Please continue to rate, review, and subscribe! Thanks for all the support!
Hazy. That's how Kate Beckett felt as soon as her eyelids began to flutter, pulling her out of the abyss of unconsciousness. Soreness. But why? She tried to assess the situation but her thoughts were interrupted by a voice.
"Hey, babe."
Could that be Josh's voice? She concentrated and realized the tone had definitely sounded like her boyfriend's. Kate shut her eyes again, knowing that could at least buy her a few more minutes. She was in the hospital, she'd noticed from her quick look at the room around her. And her nose confirmed it as she inhaled the smell of sanitation and felt the breathing tubes stuffed in her nose. But why was she here? She sifted through her memories. Her and Castle fighting in her apartment, she kicking him out. Finding out Roy's betrayal and Rick dragging her out of the hangar, her pleading rendering useless. But then she found what she was looking for, what had landed her in this synthetic bed. The funeral.
"Kate!" She looked over at Castle. What the hell was he doing? The impact of the bullet hot and sharp, digging into her skin and into her insides. Tackled on the ground. The smell of damp grass and dirt was inhaled into her nose. Castle, on top of her, begging her to stay with him. Darkness consuming her vision. And then his warm hand under her neck. And his choked voice, taking over her hearing. "Kate, I love you. I love you, Kate." She felt joy and then her body took over and she was out.
Oh my God. Could it be true? It had to be, the rest of it added up. Castle loved her? She felt happy, yet it felt so wrong. How could she trust that he wouldn't be the same playboy writer with her like he'd been with countless other women? The guy who'd had one night stands with women without even liking them? No, he had to be past those days by now. But exactly how mature had he become in the last three years? As a friend, he'd stayed with her as though they were married. But what about as a boyfriend? Besides, it was not Castle who held her hand, who sat at her bedside. Her bubble completely popped by then. It was her boyfriend, Josh, who she cared for, who was safe, who waited by her side. And suddenly, in Beckett's mind, thoughts of Josh and Castle were not simpatico. She opened her eyes, trying to rid the vision of a crying Castle out of her head.
"You're awake," Josh smiled at her and she had to remember to force herself to smile back. God, the drugs made the mask that she usually wore harder to put on. Things like remembering that she was supposed to look happy with Josh and bear any amount of pain without a grimace had to be thought about and then followed through.
"Hi," Where's Castle? Is what she wanted to ask. But that would hardly be appropriate to ask her boyfriend after he spent God knew how many hours waiting for her to wake. But what was she supposed to talk about? "How long was my surgery?" That was what she finally settled on. It was safe and hopefully Josh's turn for visiting would soon tick away after she'd come up with a list of light questions.
"Oh, you were operated on for a good six hours. But I wasn't too worried. I knew you were 'in good hands.'" Oh. He'd made a feeble reference to the Allstate commercials to lighten up the mood. She attempted to curve her lips into a smile.
"You weren't worried about me?" The words came out satisfactorily playful, and she tried not to imply the double meaning that swirled through her head. She'd just been shot and he brushed it off like it was a mistake with an order at a restaurant? Hadn't he cared just a bit that she'd been in either critical or serious condition? That she'd been hunted down and then shot like prey at a game reserve?
"I knew the wound was serious, but I figured you'd be okay. A person like you can take a shot and handle it just fine. You're tough, I know you'll make it through recovery fine on your own." He kept his tone light and he still infuriatingly smiled, oblivious to the fact that he'd just made the situation worse. He'd said "on your own." Like he had tickets to some country in need in his pocket and that as soon as the visit ended, he had a plane to catch.
To choke back some retort prompted by the hurt she felt, Kate changed the subject.
"So how long's recovery going to be?" Josh brightened and Kate felt a change in his attitude.
"Eight weeks. But soon you'll be able to move around and they'll stick you in rehab and soon enough everything will be back to the way it was." This explained the change in behavior: Josh was in Doctor Mode.
But Kate didn't consider that for too long, there was an immediate problem that needed solving at hand.
"Eight weeks?" she asked in disbelief. It took a couple of days for a case to turn cold. She didn't have eight weeks. In fact, Kate didn't have eight days. "Josh, I know I was shot and that I'm going to be out of commission for a while, but I need to get back to work. If we don't work hard at finding out who this guy was, then the chances of finding him are going to get slimmer and slimmer and then it's gonna turn cold. I can't recover for eight weeks."
"Listen," Josh said soothingly, rubbing his thumb over her hand. "I'm sure your cop friends are going start working on it as soon as they get back to the precinct. And then as soon as you're back on your feet you can get back to it." He didn't understand. This was her mother's case. She couldn't just forget about it and sit around waiting for it to solve itself. She could feel herself getting angry and she was aware of a beeping on some monitor that no doubt was connected to some orifice of her body. She tried to calm herself down. Josh had no idea that this was connected to her mother's case, at least not yet. He had no idea that for years she'd been consumed by a passion, memorizing every line of her mother's file. He had NO IDEA, she thought more violently, of the nights that she'd had no sleep, haunted by the image of her mother's body in an alley and the fact that her murder had been swept aside as "random gang violence", something she now knew that had been a cover up for a huge conspiracy featuring everyone involved in her mother's case, even her most trusted captain. But Castle, Rick knew, and he cared. Don't go there, she warned herself. But you're going to have to choose, a nagging voice told her. No, said a stronger voice, appearing from her conscience, Rick's going to have choose.
"Kate?" Josh now looked concerned and was glancing at the monitor. The imperative beeping had persisted. Kate could feel a pressure that had gone unnoticed until now in her lung, leaving her short of breath. A nurse rushed in and Kate could see her eyes flick at the monitor.
"Doctor, I think you'll have to leave for the moment. It seems that Ms. Beckett is feeling slightly overwhelmed-" The nurse went to an IV linked to her and started to inject what no doubt was some sort of painkiller into her system. Kate felt relieved, all she wanted was for Josh to go away for a while until she sorted out what on earth she was feeling. She watched Josh exit without a word. But then she saw a slightly blurred outline of some man walking closer, peering into her room. Could it be Josh? No, this guy was shorter and his hair a light brown. Who was it? And then something within her clicked. Castle? Castle.
