Since that day, I haven't seen him. I miss him so much, I want to see that smile that lights up my world every time. I would love to see those blue deep eyes look at me the same way they did since that time when we decided to be friends. Is it too much to ask? Please Kami, let me see him. I need that. I need to see him.
Since that day, I've been sad, thinking that maybe I did something wrong or maybe he heard something about me and he didn't like it. My training sessions have become more intense. I promise myself that even if the source of my strength and happiness was not at sight, I wouldn't allow myself to be weak and be crush by my clan. I have to be strong, since the elders want Hanabi-chan to be the only heir. But I can't because I am so affected by the way he isn't around anymore. Maybe he's so happy with Sakura-chan that he have forgot about the world.
No, Naruto-kun it's not that type. He would care about everyone even if he has a new happiness. Maybe I should stop thinking about this and pay attention to what my father is saying.
"Are you happy?" His voice was rough and hard. Over the years, he have changed towards me. I even get to think that he loves me. Now he is yelling at me, like he did before when I was little, but the difference is that I now deserve this.
"I'm sorry, father", were the only words that escaped my mouth. My S-class mission with nii-san and Ko was a total disaster, honestly I was expecting to fail since I'm not a natural leader. But it was worst than a failure! I almost got Ko killed!
"I don't want to hear you being sorry, I want you to assume your own lack leadership! How do you expect to be the next head of the clan if you still believe what the enemy is saying?" He snapped at my apology.
Right now I really hate myself, I was very stupid when I thought that those missed ninjas were going to free Ko if I...if I...I can't even think that. I'm ashamed of what I almost did, not only because it was useless to free Ko from the hands of those ninjas, but also, because they almost took my... the most precious thing a woman could have. If that AMBU squad had not arrived in the right time, I wouldn't be able to fight for my heir position anymore. I lowered my head as he was now starting to yell in a more loud pace. Listening to every hurtful word was necessary, it would help me grow.
"Nothing to say, Hinata?" He finished. His eyes, reflected disappoint. I hate those eyes.
"S-sorry to disappoint you." He softened his features, he saw how angry I was with myself. He placed his hand in my back and smiled at me. Enjoying his fatherly attitude towards me I smiled at him too.
"I know that I pressure to much, but it's for your own good. I'm happy that they didn't got that far. But you must be stronger if you want to be the clan leader. Hanabi is one step behind you, you're lucky because the elders are happy with your heroine position in Konoha, but this is going to change their minds." Father stops rubbing my back as he started to hug me. Hearing the elders coming, he separated from me. Remember rule#22: Never show unnecessary affection towards the heiress, if not a punishment should be applied to the heiress in order to maintain them in line.
The Hyugas don't show affection. Only when is in form of a reward because of a successful mission.
But not for me, nii-san and I think different. Nii-san always cares about me and always encourage me to do what I think is best. He in one occasion, hugged me. I always think in nii-san's security and we are pretty close for two members of different branches. I don't see the other branches as slaves, like the elders do.
"You are dismissed." My father said hardening his features to made the elders proud. I did what I was told. In my way to my room, every person I encountered gave me this eyes full of shame. They are afraid someone as weak as me will, someday, become the head of clan.
Finally I reached my room. Tears were not rolling from my eyes, I am realizing that emotionally I am very strong, but this stupid body of mine doesn't match my inside strength. Leaning into my balcony, I look at the stars, smiling I remember his face again. Naruto-kun would always make my problems disappear.
"Hinata!" That voice! It was unmistakable. I looked down to where that voice was coming from. Putting mi index finger in my mouth, I shut him up.
"Kiba-kun! Please be quiet!" I said. He grinned at me and make a sign for me to come down. One of the things I am an expert at is sneaking out of my house.
When I got down, he gave me this strange hug. I think he is drunk. "Hello Hinata-chan! You look as hot as ever!" Yes, he is drunk. I have to take him home now. Why he always come here when he is drunk?
"You know I love you." He said releasing me from the hug. His hands were teasingly in my hips. Oh my! If father saw us...there would be an Inuzuka less in Konoha.
"Yes, Kiba-kun, I know. Could you do me a favor?" I said repeating the process that was performed each time he had came to my house in this state.
"You know, I will kill for you!" I blushed when he put his forehead against mine. But then I felt his breath, it was awful, just pure sake. He is too close! And I don't want anyone to see us like this!
"Kiba-kun... Let me take you home, ok?"
"I want you in my bed." I sighed at his comment. When people is drunk, they said the most ridiculous things.
"Ok, let's go then." I grabbed his hand as he followed me. Akamaru wasn't around. I wonder why Kiba would go out without Akamaru.
I turned my head towards the stars again. They were so bright tonight, I wish I shine like one of them. Everybody would look at me and respect me if I was as bright as those stars. Because if people were like stars, I would shine more than the other ones. You'll see the power of stars comes from the inside. But sadly to me, that was only a metaphor and not reality.
I felt someone collapse behind me. Next thing I know, I have fell too. Kiba-kun was asleep! Why me? Now I have to carry him? Yeah right! Like if I could!
I tangled my arms under his armpits and started to push to lift him a little. He is too heavy, if I had Sakura-chan's strength...
"Hinataaa~" Ok... That's embarrassing, he is moaning my name! I pull him with more force not minding that his legs were been drag in the dirt of the path.
I heard some barks coming, it was Akamaru. But wait, there's another shadow coming, I felt relief when I saw Shikamaru-kun been directed by Akamaru.
"Oh what a drag! He already pass out."
"Y-yes...but I was taking him home." I replied nervously... I never been alone with Shikamaru-kun, so my shyness dominates me.
"I guess I have to take him now. I shouldn't have follow you!" He annoyingly pointed at Akamaru. The white dog whined, he was clearly concern about his master's well being.
"It's ok! I c-can..." I said trying to lift him but fail. Kiba-kun hit his head.
"Oh my gosh! Kiba-kun, I'm sorry!" Oh no! Stupid me!
"Yes, you have everything under control..." His sarcastic comment makes me feel a lot worst. I looked sad and he notice.
"It's ok... Let Akamaru take him." Shikamaru-kun carried my team mate and put him in the dog's back.
"Hinata, you go home. I'll handle him. That's why I smoke and don't drink! Alcohol leaves you in troublesome situations." The snores coming from Kiba-kun were making him crazy.
"Any ideas of how Kiba-kun ended like this?" I asked. Frankly, I wanted to know why he get so drunk.
"Oh you didn't know? Naruto and Sakura invite the rookie nine and Gai's team to the bar." He looked at me with an obvious face.
"R-really?" I said surprised. Did I wasn't considered as one of the rookie nine? Why they didn't invite me? I felt bad just when I was in the Academy.
"Yup. But don't worry. It got troublesome when Ino and Lee got drunk."
"Oh..." He looked at me with a questioning eyes. What was on his mind? Maybe he was asking himself why I didn't go to that meeting.
"Go home. It's late."
"I...May I go with you? I need to talk to you." I said in a lower voice to not get rejected by him. He didn't say anything, I took it as a 'sure, go on', so I follow him.
"You? Talk with me? Ok."
As we were walking to Kiba-kun's house, the silence between us was getting uncomfortable. Well, I was getting uncomfortable, since I wanted to ask many things about that meeting. Shikamaru-kun, on the other side was looking at the sky, searching for clouds that were lightened by the moon.
"He got drunk and said something about getting laid tonight, so he ran away." He said refering to Kiba-kun. I was surprised to hear his words. He don't talk that much, so I think that the one that was going to brake the silence was me.
"But that's not your question." He affirmed to me. I was surprised again but this time it showed in my face. He smirked and I blushed.
"Actually, no...that is not my question."
"Then? Ask fast. I want to go to bed, if you don't mind." He said yawning. I was slight offended by his tone. Oh this geniuses! I haven't met one polite. Sorry nii-san but sometimes you are rude to people too.
"S-sorry..."
"Don't be... Ino already ruined my mood when she tried to kiss me." He cut me off. I hate when people do that, but I chose not to showed. You see? I'm polite. "Ask."
"I...I... How was the mood in the party?"
"It was smooth at first. Everybody laughing and chatting. But the it got...different? Well everyone got drunk. Including Shino. So I left when Akamaru drag me here. But again, that isn't your question."
I hesitated. Do I say it? I don't know.
"Do you want me to tell you if I notice about Sakura and Naruto?" Damn he IS a genius!
I simply nodded, amazed by him! How does he do that!
"Yes I did notice, but I didn't payed attention. Love is a troublesome thing. They were very close. No one notice because Naruto and Sakura drunk them out. I think they are planning to keep it as a secret, since the two of them were whispering and they had to 'go to the bathroom' at the same time." The air quotes he makes were suggesting other types of things happened between Sakura-chan and Naruto-kun.
"O-oh", my heart was sinking again. But I should be happy. Naruto-kun is happy. At least my suspicions are confirmed: Naruto-kun is so busy with Sakura-chan that have forgot about his friends, no, he forgot about me. I saddened at that thought and then I realize that I wasn't a star. I was more like a planet that was losing its sun. And without my sun I cannot live. I shake my ridiculous thoughts when something else distracted me. "But how did you know that I like Naruto-kun?"
"It does not takes to be a genius to know. You are pretty obvious. That's why I'm concerned about the ones that haven't notice your feelings, that makes them as dense as Naruto." I laughed at his reasoning, he just looked at me smirking.
"We are here", I pointed at the house. We knocked the door several times, even Akamaru barked a few times. No one was home.
"I have a key." I bring it out of my pocket and open the door. Shikamaru-kun leave Kiba-kun in the sofa as I covered him with a sheet. I kissed his forehead lightly, and hugged Akamaru before leaving with Shikamaru-kun.
"Oh man... Now I have to take you home!" He sighed and I laughed again.
"Shikamaru-kun..."
"Yes?" He looked at me in a funny way. He isn't himself right now.
"You are a little drunk right?"
He nodded and smiled. Then we headed to my house.
Looking at the stars I wondered:
Someday I will be able to be a star. Instead of a pitiful planet that needs a sun to live. And for that I need to train more.
