Some Kinda Love
Chapter Three
By Mrs. Padfoot
Author's Note: Mrs. Prongs is a slavedriver. The end.
...um, is it weird that I'm the late one? And she's the slavedriver?
&&
Lily's office was cluttered and messy and always smelled of chocolate and ink. The desk was stacked with papers to be graded, and a few confusing Muggleish diagrams were posted in various places on the walls. On the wall space behind her desk, a calendar read November 1979 – a month behind. A few pictures were visible – a few of James and Lily, and a few of her parents (which never moved no matter how much you poked or prodded them). James found the room strangely endearing. And distracting.
"James," grumbled Lily. "I'm tired, grumpy, I have a lot of work to do, so don't make this take any longer than it has to."
"This?" questioned James.
"Conversation," said Lily, biting her lip. "I have something to tell you, remember?"
"Right," said James slowly.
"Um – well – see – "
"Lily..."
"No, listen to me. James, I haven't been feeling well lately – "
"Lily! Why didn't you tell me?" said James, propelling himself across the room to her. His hands moved furiously from her waist to her forehead to her shoulders as he whirled her around to look him in the eye. "I can arrange to get you checked at Saint Mungo's right away – right now in fact. I'm sure someone can cover for you – "
"James, I went to Madam Pomfrey this morning – Wells was covering for me – "
"You let that starry-eyed idiot cover your Muggle Studies class? But what about all your future muggle relations officials? He doesn't know a thing about Muggles, Lily! I bet he didn't tell you that, Lily," said James seriously.
"Actually, he did," said Lily. "He's not very fond of me – "
"Really? Why? Wells is always nice to me, creepy bastard that he is. And how could anyone not like you, Lily? I mean, you're perfect, Lily. Really, Lily," James' mouth seemed to be moving faster than the Hogwarts Express, and Lily was having a hard time keeping up with him. She kept hearing her name, though. She sighed.
" – don't know why they let him teach students, anyway. Especially not your bright little ones – my buggers are crazy – "
"James – "
"—twitchy ear hex! I mean, how different is twitching ear hex? Does it really bloody matter? I mean, whatever you call it, it still works – "
"James, please – "
"—bloody class would rather listen to those two argue it out than me! I give interesting lectures, don't I, Lily? Honestly, I – "
"JAMES," yelled Lily. He stopped and stared at her. "That is totally not the point of this conversation. I still have something to tell you. It's hard enough as it is, do you really have to ramble about nothing at all?"
"It's not nothing," James said indignantly, his eyes narrowing.
"Oh – don't get mad at me, James, really, I didn't mean that," said Lily. "It's just that this is really important."
"And I'm not?"
"Of course you are, James, I just – "
"Oh, so you're more important than me?"
"That's not what I said, James – "
"Lately you've just been so angry, Lily! You're lashing out at me for nothing at all every few seconds, and it's really starting to get on my nerves – "
"MOOD SWINGS," yelled Lily. "IT'S PART OF BEING PREGNANT, YOU KNOW!"
James' mouth paused mid sentence, and wobbled silently for a few seconds before closing completely. His eyes looked like they were about to pop out of his head. Lily stared at him for a second before her eyes trailed onto the ground.
"Um," she said finally, "yes. Anyway. I guess I don't have anything else important to say, so I'm just going to go to lunch – "
He was still staring at her. He would've said something if he had wanted to. He was miserable. He wasn't ready. Lily could feel the tears about to slip out her eyes, but she couldn't let him see that –
"I'm going to go to – the teacher's lounge," she said, her voice choked. And she dashed for the teacher's lavatory.
&&
Once again, Lily had floo'd home without James. But yesterday had been better. Yesterday it hadn't been his fault.
At least, he didn't think it had been his fault yesterday. But today – definitely his fault. He was a bloody idiot.
If he had managed to come to his senses just a bit earlier – maybe she wouldn't have run off in tears. Oh, god. She was so distressed – what if she had had a miscarriage? He thought he remembered something about distressed pregnant women and miscarriages. Why, oh why didn't he pay more attention when he read stuff like that? It could have been quite important! Lily could be flushing their baby away right now and it was all his fault.
"LILY?" he yelled as soon as he was in their fireplace. He hit his head rushing out of it, but he didn't care. "Lily? Lily, where are you?"
No answer. He tried the bedroom door, but it opened fine – and still no sign of Lily. James wondered if she had up and left him. But no – her clothes were still there, she wouldn't leave without her clothes.
Would she?
Well, it didn't matter, anyway, because she was off somewhere that wasn't here. He briefly considered going to a bar and getting stinking drunk, but decided against it – there was always the possibility that she hadn't had a miscarriage or run off, in which case he was still a father to be and had to set a good example for the fetus. So he settled for the next best thing – he apparated over to the 'Bloody Tiny Marauder Flat,' as Sirius so fondly called it.
It was relatively easy for him to find his friends (excluding Sirius, who was off on a date) – Remus was hanging up Christmas decorations in the kitchen. Which was a bit odd – most people didn't have decorations in their kitchen – but it was tradition for reasons James still didn't understand. Peter was engrossed in a magazine James didn't recognize.
"Hi," said James half-heartedly, slumping into a chair.
"Prongs, hey," said Remus, turning to face him. "What's up with you? You look like you lost your broom."
"Huh," muttered James grumpily.
"Whoa, mate," said Remus. "Lighten up. Have a fight with Lily?"
"How'd you guess?"
"Practically every day of recent history, you have a fight with Lily, come to one of us for advice, and then yell because the advice didn't work," explained Remus. "It's getting a little old. I mean, I understand that you two are going through a rough patch, but – "
"Yeah, well, this is the worst yet," mumbled James miserably. "All the others? Lily was having mood swings. She's pregnant."
"Excuse me?" asked Remus and Peter at the same time.
"She's pregnant. She told me she had something important to tell me, and I start rambling, and she tells me to shut up, and I yell at her, and she blurts out that she's pregnant, and I just stood there – and then she ran away. And I – just stood there," he finished lamely.
"So?" said Remus.
"I think she hates me now," said James, surprised that it was taking him so long to catch on. Remus was the bookish one, after all.
"Why?" asked Remus.
"Because I stood there and didn't say anything," said James. It was bloody obvious. He couldn't see why they didn't understand.
"That sounds rather normal, Prongs," said Peter. "I mean – she blurted out that she was pregnant. It's okay to be in shock."
"No – "
"James, don't argue," said Remus, laughing, "he's right. And – congratulations, mate."
"Thanks," said James, his spirits lifting a little. "So – you really think it's gonna be okay?"
"Definitely," said Peter, turning back to his magazine.
"Whatcha reading, anyway, Wormtail?" asked Remus curiously.
"Oh, some story about this girl who strung a guy along and then he proposes and she dumps him – nonfiction, too," Peter mumbled.
"Does that happen a lot?" asked James quietly.
"Doubt it," said Remus noncommittally, "Sounds like rubbish to me."
"But it says it's real, Moony," said James, who was now staring intently over Peter's shoulder. "Oh my god – do you think Lily – ?"
"No," said Remus.
"No, that would explain everything," said James, "like, why she was crying, because it wasn't me, I just had a normal male reaction – but she was terrified because she didn't mean to get pregnant – pregnancy means commitment, you know, and she's just a drifter – "
"Prongs, you're freaking out," said Peter quietly.
"I thought it was Lily who was supposed to be having the mood swings?" asked Remus with a grin.
"Give him a break, Moony, he's distressed to the point of extreme stupidity," said Peter.
"Why are you two enjoying my misery?" James asked loudly.
"We're not, Prongs," said Remus lightly. "We just think you're funny. Look – Lily is not a drifter, she's – Lily. Don't worry about it, mate. I'm sure she'll jump at the chance to marry you."
"Yeah?" asked James quietly.
"Absolutely," said Remus.
&&
When Lily apparated home at five forty-five, James was asleep on the ratty old couch he loved to hate, his cheek pressing against the loose threads on the left arm. Smiling a little at the endearing scene, she pushed past into the kitchen. Honestly, she was starving, even after all those Christmas cookies she had helped her mother make...
Her smile faded a little, and she wondered if maybe she should have told her parents that she was pregnant.
But James had a right to be there when she did, didn't he?
Of course, there was always the chance that James didn't particularly want to have a baby. I mean, she never really gave him a chance to express anything one way or another. They hadn't exactly planned this. Hell, they had never even discussed the possibility. They hadn't even discussed marriage yet.
Which brought Lily to the final reason that she hadn't voiced her sudden pregnancy to her mother – which was the fact that she and James were not married, or even engaged yet. Her mother – and particularly her father – were scandalized enough by the fact that they were living together, how the hell should she expect them to accept a premarital pregnancy?
This whole thing was one big, bloody headache.
And even if they wanted the baby, was it right for them to have it? They were both in the thick of a war, for heaven's sake. They could be killed. The poor helpless little baby could be murdered.
What were they getting themselves into?
"Hey," said Lily, as something pecked at her hand. She whisked her hand away from the small tawny owl that had just dug its beak into her open palm. It looked vaguely familiar, but she couldn't quite place whose it was. She took the letter it was holding, and after confirming from the tidy print on the front that it was indeed for her, she pulled it open.
Lily –
James told Peter and I the news. Congratulations. James is a little nervy though, eh? Peter and I might've – accidentally – made him a little nervier. Sorry. Actually, I'm wanted to ask ask if you want us to tell Sirius. He'll be back from his date (Helen McAaron? Know her?) soon and I didn't know if you two (or just Prongs) wanted to tell him on your own. Peter kindof wants to tell him himself, but, I mean, it's your place, really. Oh, and Pete's trying to convince me to bet on Padfoot's reaction. Ask James what he reckons. I think he'll know.
Remus
"Probably open-mouthed shock followed by hugs. Oh, and he'll want us to name it Sirius Junior," said James wryly from behind her.
"Don't do that," grumbled Lily.
"Do what?" asked James, taking a step back and holding up his hands.
"Come up behind me and just talk," grumbled Lily.
"I'm not allowed to talk?" asked James, confused.
"No, you're not allowed to scare me like that," she informed him, frowning in a sort of a prim, schoolmarmish way.
"That scared you?" asked James softly.
"Uh huh," she said standing up to face him.
"Really," he said, "because I can do a lot better than that. I mean, I can do a hell of a lot better than that. I mean, I wasn't even trying!"
"You're such a loser," she said, rolling her eyes and pushing past him, heading for the couch.
"The correct term is Marauder, m'dear," he called after her as she plopped on the plush, ratty burgundy couch across from the fireplace.
"James, darling, don't try to use your Marauder status as a pick up line," she groaned sarcastically.
"Lily, dearest, do you even know what a pick up line is?" he laughed, sitting next to her.
"Of course I do," she said indignantly.
"That wasn't one," he told her, sliding his arm around her.
"It was too!" she insisted. She had a feeling he was laughing at her inside, but at the moment, she didn't particularly care.
Everything was okay again.
--
Questions:
Kat44: Lily and James have graduated and are teachers at Hogwarts now.
Amberle Elessedil: Er... which other story?
Angryteabag: I think that there are enough stories about Lily and James getting together in school. I mean, hell, we've written three ourselves. This is purely post-Hogwarts and we're just assuming everything.
...I'm a lame question-answerer.
