Disclaimer: Naruto, I do not own. Hinata, I do not own. The whole Naruto-universe, I do not own either. Man, just what have I been doing with my life?!
Summary: Just some random one-shots of random Naruto-related thoughts that our darling Hinata might have.
Muses for this Chapter:
Jay Sean- Dil Mera
Rico Yan and Claudine Barretto's Got 2 Believe
The Anime Series Kimi Ni Todoke.
The main character is so much like Kishi's Hinata pre manga screw up. The main guy is like how I imagine Naruto would have turned out had he not been "cursed" by the fox and perhaps had more of the Yodaime's character. It's kinda slow this anime (as are all Rom-series, like Clannad) but I love it. Only 25 episodes.
Chapter 3: Nonsensical Thoughts of a Proud Failure
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My legs hurt.
Sitting in this position for too long reminded me of muscles that I forgot even existed. I tried to shift subtly, glancing stoically at the audience in front of me and my father and the clan elders out of the corner of my eye.
Neji niisan frowned at me, subtly hinting that I should maintain decorum in audience.
Well, pardon my language, screw him too! Every movement that had to be marked with a sense of subtlety and grace, every action of mine that could be condemned as offensive or not aggressive enough.
Curse being a female. As a princess I should be soft and delicate but as a future leader, I had to be mannish and aggressive? Where was the fine line? Where was the justice? Grecian images of female warriors almost made me smile. Living in a hidden village just wouldn't do. The life of a vagabond would be perfect.
And the word vagabond. Just where did that come from? From Vaga bons? Meaning "Lazy bum"? My mood changed to humor with a twinge of sadness.
I'm not a lazy bum. I wish I were, however. The tasks that were completed thus far today came to the forefront of my mind. Training, cleaning, training, crying, training, dressing, self-loathing, training.
My day. My life. How upsetting.
And, dammit! He got to stand! It's not fair!
My fingers twitched a little, perhaps in self-disgust at my thoughts. 'Hyuuga princes must maintain all sense of propriety,' I mocked silently to myself. Hair, perfectly made. Dress, perfectly pressed. Walk, perfectly measured. Sit, perfectly…
Sitting!
I tried to rolls my ankles a bit, give feeling to my now uncomfortable legs. No matter how many times I sat in this position, I dare say, I'll never get used to it.
I tried to think happy thoughts. Sunshine, cherry blossoms, morning musume songs, flowers…
Naruto-kun.
Oh my. This simply wouldn't do. Thinking about him will soon make me blush and, curse this corset, make me swoon.
Another embarrassing situation and a show a weakness in front of my clan.
I could feel my facial muscles slipping out of their set position of careful interest yet appropriate disinterest. Oh the masks that one must don in this household. I tried to pull myself together; mold myself into the perfect picture of a princess once again.
Looking for a distraction, I looked at the audience today. The hall, which was quite vast in itself, was almost full today, as well every end of the month meeting. One or two of the clan families, I did recognize. A second cousin, an aunt, the occasional weird grandpa. It was amusing observing the dynamics of this family. Freedom with a sense of oppression. All seeing with a veil over ones own eyes. One of the children holding onto his mom's hand tried to slip away to play. I gave him a slow smile and a quick wink.
'Poor kid,' I thought, 'soon he'll be receiving the mark as well…'
NO! That cannot happen any longer. The mark wasn't simply a symbol marking the difference within the clan as others thought in the village. It was a stigma. It was a way of life. It was, as Neji niisan described, an almost inescapable destiny.
Lower status. A chance to never escape. And a constant reminder of what could have been. How life could have been without the mark. One couldn't simply change the way they looked to move up the ranks.
A separate race even within the Hyuuga. A caste system. Sub-human some elitist clan members thought.
Thankfully, Father disposed of them, marked with the Hyuuga swiftness and subtlety. Subtle. Ha! Only I knew about it and I held knowledge, such as that, that I was privy to with honor and pride.
Those clan members were probably making their lives somewhere out west; a forced exile. They too, forever marked.
I'm not a simpering weakling. I know my boundaries. My weakness. Perhaps that is my form of genius? The ability to assess my limitations.
Father does not like this divide, the caste system that separated him with his own twin. I know that. I can only imagine the horror I would feel at being separated from Hanabi due to, once again subtle, differences.
But it will happen. She too will be marked unless I do something about it.
And I will. All I live for to is to give, and that I shall do with pleasure.
Pleasure. My cheeks, I know, are now touched pink. Naruto-kun.
He would help me I think. No, I know. He will help me.
My thoughts drifted, as did my common sense and the careful position I held all meeting began to droop.
A shared future with Naruto-kun. What an honor and privilege for someone like me. He is a whirlwind of change and… with him, I could achieve anything.
Saving Hanabi, saving my clan, saving myself.
Anything.
"Hinata."
I was jolted out of my thoughts and sudden consciousness overcame me. I was confident, however, that most would not recognize that I had become so immersed in my thoughts that I had almost drowned.
Father turned to me, a mixture of amusement and warning in his eyes.
Oh, how could he always tell?
"What do you think of Kuwano-san's predicament? He wishes to customize his home and paint it purple as a homage to the Hyuuga clan. However, Shibayama-san considers that shade an eye-sore. What solution do you suggest my daughter?"
Ah. Occasionally, we receive this type of problem to judge as well. Most of them are deemed unimportant and some type of overseer would solve them. However, I knew, this issue had sparked a feud between the two families. How silly. There were people dying in the hidden village. What a civilian problem to have indeed.
I thought for a moment. And then another.
Suddenly, without really thinking, I blurted out, "Orange! Paint the house orange!"
The two warring families looked at my with restrained, subtle, disbelief and the clan elders, most of them too old to truly function, blankly stared. My favorite aunt simply smiled kindly, perhaps internally wondering about my sanity.
It was Father, however with a twitch of his lips and an odd twinkle in his eye, that said, "And so it shall be done."
In the end, it didn't really solve anything at all. The two families still warred and the Hyuuga compound now had an odd off-orange/brown house within it.
Another failure for Hinata.
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A/N- Our thoughts aren't consistent on a day to day basis and neither will be my writing style for every chapter. Admittedly, some chapters will be a slight more eloquent than others. While others, I promise, are more humorous, serious, etc.
On a side note, please, suggestions are most welcome and I love having discussions with you guys! Thank you to the 78 people who put me on their story alert list and to all the people who have reviewed thus far. It made me happy lol.
Shout out to one of my suite mates who found my other ff account; let's see if she can find this one :P
