Chapter 3: Back to reality
A/N: Okay, my first two chapters take place the same weekend. This is the first day back to school, when everybody finds out they are official. As always, Santana's POV, and slightly OOC.
I don't own Glee, if I did, things would be sooo different.
Butterflies. Butterflies? I adore all of God's creatures, and the metaphores they inspire, but these butterflies need to be murdered.
I can't be like this around everyone! It's all well and good to be myself at home, or at Britt's place, but not here.
Here? I'm a bitch. Actually, no. I am THE Bitch.
Everybody is scared of me. It's just an unwritten law: DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT, bring around the wrath of Santana. Everybody knows it.
I can't feel like this around them.
Who am I kidding? I'm lying to myself, if I think I can actually make these feelings disappear, just by telling myself they can't exist.
I'll feel better when she's here.
I glance nervously around the parking lot.
Where is she?
She's never this late.
I pull out my phone, and shoot her a quick text.
Where r u?
I put my phone back in my pocket, but almost instantly it chimes, and I pull it out to read the reply.
Lost.
I look at my phone, dumbfounded. Lost? I quickly text back, my fingers numb from the cold air, too slow for my liking.
Whats around u?
Chime. A response.
Lost of red doors.
Hmm. Red doors. Lockers? Could she be in the locker room? I stop to think for a minute. Where does she get lost the most? Right. Bathroom
Hang on. on my way. DON'T MOVE.
I run to the bathroom at the end of the music hall, and sure enough, there's my girl, sitting against the wall, her arms hugging her knees close to her body.
She looks so scared. I run over to her, and wrap my arms around her. She gives me a blank look, and I know that look. She's lost; but not just in a bathroom. Britt's lost somewhere inside her own head.
"Come on babe. These floors are nasty. Let's head to Glee, okay?"
She nods, still blank. I know I have to "find" her. So I lean down, and kiss her softly on the cheek. She stirs, blinks a few times, and I see her eyes light up. There she is.
"M'kay," She bubbles, bouncing to her feet.
We link hands, her fingers entertwined with mine, and we head off to the Chior room.
"What's the deal? Have you seen them? I've never seen Santana smile over anything but BreadstiX," I hear Quinn whisper to Sam, who is completely ignoring her. He's checking his hair in the reflection of Quinn's shiny binder cover.
I see Mercedes lean over to Tina and whisper "What is going on? Seriously. Have you ever seen anybody act like that, other than Rachel?"
Oh hell no. NOBODY compares ME to YENTL. I wait for Mercedes to look at me, then I give her the death glare from hell. Obviously it worked, because her eyes went wide, and she turned around.
Britt leans her head onto my shoulder, and I smile again.
Mr. Schue walks in, and he can sense the...well, whatever it is, in the air. He walks over to the whiteboard, and writes something on it, and underlines it. I'm not even bothered enough to read it; it's probably got something to do with Journey.
That, and Britt is combing her fingers through my pony tail, and it's very distracting.
But, then he says something that catches my attention, so I start to listen.
"I liked how the Ballads worked out last year, so we're gonna do it again this year, I'll let you choose your Ballad partner, UNLESS I see an obvious problem with the pairing."
I get to sing to Britt? For real this time? Last time, yeah we got paired up, but we never exactly got to the singing part of things...
I know what song I want to sing. I must be channeling my inner Rachel, because before I know it, my hand is in the air, and I'm already volunteering to sing first.
I can feel the eyes of every person on me, but I ignore them. This is about her. For her.
I whisper the name of the song in Brad's ear, and he nods. He waits for my cue, then starts to play the intro.
I take a breath, and look right at her.
Is this a dream?
If it is
Please don't wake me from this high
I'd become comfortably numb
Until you opened up my eyes
To what it's like
When everything's right
I can't believe
You found me
When no one else was lookin'
How did you know just where I would be?
Yeah, you broke through
All of my confusion
The ups and the downs
And you still didn't leave
I guess that you saw what nobody could see
You found me
Somewhere in my peripheral vision, I see everybody watching me, stunned expressions on their face. Even Rachel. I know, my voice is so freaking perfect for this song. Take that Yentl.
My eyes lock on hers, and she's watching me, and I can tell she knows I'm singing this to her.
So, here we are
That's pretty far
When you think of where we've been
No going back
I'm fading out
All that has faded me within
You're by my side
Now everything's fine
I can't believe
You found me
When no one else was lookin'
How did you know just where I would be?
Yeah, you broke through
All of my confusion
The ups and the downs
And you still didn't leave
I guess that you saw what nobody could see
You found me
I can't see, feel, or hear anything but her. The whole world has disappeared, and all I know is what I'm saying to her. I'm pouring my heart, and my soul, out to her. I'm making myself vulnerable.
I don't care if everybody expects me to be a bitch. I'm sick of it. I'm sick of pushing everybody away, I'm sick of hurting the people I care about. I want to feel. I want to be human. And, God! I want the woman that I love to know how much she means to me, how important she is in my life, how much I need her, and how damn thankful I am that she found me.
And I was hiding
'Til you came along
And showed me where I belong
You found me
When no one else was lookin'
How did you know?
How did you know?
You found me
When no one else was lookin'
How did you know just where I would be?
Yeah, you broke through
All of my confusion
The ups and the downs
And you still didn't leave
I guess that you saw what nobody could see
You found me
I'm crying. I'm crying?
When did I start crying?
When was the last time I cried?
I can't remember.
Crying feels good right now, though.
I like feeling.
I watch Britt slowly get to her feet, the rest of the room is still stunned into silence, so it feels like we're moving in slow motion.
She comes up to me, wraps her arms around me, and kisses me. She cradles my head to her chest, letting me sob all over her Cheerio's uniform, holding me. Whispering that she loves me.
A loud sound assaults my ears; everybody is clapping. Everybody. Clapping and cheering.
For me?
I look up, the cacophony acting like a warming elixir. It fills me up, surrounds my thawing heart, making it so hot, it warms up the rest of my body.
This is what I've been missing, and I'll be damned if I ever let it go again.
-end-
A/N: Wow. This was an emotional chapter for me to write. It wasn't even caused or inspired by anything. I heard the song, and I just started writing. I don't even know what happened.
I love ya Britt! Thanks for being my inspiration!
Review? Please? I love them. They make my day.
