Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy.


Meanwhile, the kids had made it to Buffy's room. Half of the room was painted pink, for Buffy, while the other half was painted blue and filled with gifts for the new baby.

"W-wow Buffy" said Tara, looking around in awe. "S-somebody's been c-colouring your r-room."

"I know, it's for my new brother" Buffy smiled.

"How are we gonna find him Buffy?" asked Anya.

"Yeah" Willow agreed. "We don't even know what he looks like!"

"Well, he's a boy like me, so we know he'll be handsome" said Xander, puffing his chest out proudly.

"Oh brother, you dumb babies have got a lot to learn about the facts of life" said Cordelia, as she entered the room carrying cookies in the bottom of her dress, and shoving the other kids around. "Now get out of my way, I gotta get back to the dessert table before the grown-ups get all the good stuff." Willow glared at Cordelia for a second as she helped Tara to her feet. The only times Willow had ever managed to act semi-brave was when anyone hurt or upset Tara, but when Cordelia glared back, she quickly looked away. Cordelia dumped her cookies on a table, and headed for the door.

"Wait, Cordy!" Buffy cried. "Can you help us find my baby brother?"

"I wouldn't be in such a big hurry if I was you, Buffy" said Cordelia, turning around. "'Cause when the new baby gets here, he's gonna get all the toys and the love and the attention, and your Mommy and Daddy will forget all about you. It'll be like, 'Look Joyce, there's that little blonde kid in the house again."

"My Mommy and Daddy won't forget me" said Buffy. At that moment, Buffy's dog, a scruffy reddish-brown one named Oz came into the room.

"That's what Oz said before you were born" said Cordelia, pointing to the dog, "back when his name was Daniel."

"Daniel?" said Buffy, staring confusedly at Oz as he scratched himself.

"Yeah" said Cordy. "But then you came along and they put him out in the rain, and he turned into a dog!"

"That's not gonna happen to me, Cordelia" Buffy protested. "My Mommy and Daddy will love me no matter what!" Cordelia was about to reply to this when the group heard singing. Cordelia looked out the window to see Fred singing to Joyce with her father accompanying her on accordion.

Fred: A baby is really neat,

A baby is a special treat.

"Ugh! Who does Winifred Burkle think she is?" Cordelia growled, stomping out of the room.

Fred: A baby has lots of toes,

A baby has a tiny nose.

The other kids gathered around the window to see what was going on.

Fred: A baby is a little dickens,

A baby is a cuddly chicken.

Cordelia crouched next to Joyce's belly, preparing to make her move.

Fred: A baby is lots of joy...

Cordelia leapt up beside Fred.

Cordelia: A baby will get all the toys!

"What are you doing?" Fred cried before continuing.

Fred: A baby has a smiley face..

Cordelia: A baby is from outside space!

"Cordelia!" Fred snapped.

"Winifred" Cordy taunted.

Fred: A baby is extra fancy..

Cordelia: A baby poops in his pantsies!

"Cut it out!" Fred yelled.

"No!" Cordelia yelled back. Meanwhile, Buffy and the others had come back outside and were watching from under a table.

Fred: Like a birdie singing in a tree..

Cordy: More like Angel screaming in your ear!

Both: A baby is a gift,

A gift from a bob,

A baby is a gift from a bob bob bob.

"Buffy, do you think babies are really a gift from a Bob?" asked Willow.

"I don't know, why?" said Buffy.

"Because if Bob b-bringed a g-gift, it's p-probably one of them" said Tara, pointing to a table loaded with presents.

Fred: A baby is very special!

Cordy: A baby is..is.. NOT!

As the song ended, Joyce groaned in pain.

"Jessica" she said, grabbing her friend's arm. "It's time." Jessica's eyes widened.

"Time? You mean.." Joyce nodded. "Oh boy. Everybody to your stations, people!" Jessica called to the crowd. "D'Hoffryn, get Hank, Candice, call the hospital, and Joyce, start your breathing." While Jessica helped Joyce to the car the car the other grown ups ran around grabbing the kids, who had begun ripping open presents in search of Buffy's brother. Giles scooped Buffy into his arms, and headed quickly for the car.

"Come on, Buffy, we have a Summers to deliver." In the midst of this chaos, Robin's goat had managed to get free and destroy the party, somehow setting off the sprinkler system. Giles looked back on the scene, allowing himself a small chuckle. "My word! That's what I call a baby shower!"