This story, unlike almost all of my others, IS NOT based off of personal experiences. If it was, then... Anyways! Enjoy.

~Sabby-Sama


Blackmail

Cloud and Zack were climbing the giant Oak tree that was outside of the old, rundown, suspicious looking building in the middle of the night, the only light coming from the dinky porch light below them.

According to Zack, they were on a mission appointed to them by Lazard. Cloud was exciteded to be teamed up with his best friend on another mission.

Cloud was brought out of his thoughts when Zack spoke. "Alrightio, so we need to get into the house by that window" He paused to point at a dirty window towards the right, "and we gotta spy on the people in there." Cloud nodded.

"Simple enough." the blonde replied.

Zack reached a foot out to the roof of the porch and made his way to the window. The boards creaking underneath his weight. He made his way to the window, signaling for Cloud to do the same.

The blonde nodded and did what he was told, walking lightly to not make any sounds to where Zack was standing. He grabbed the window and slide it up carefully, cringing at the shrieks it made. The SOLDIER peeked his head into the window and muffled his laughs.

Cloud narrowed his blonde eyebrows in confusion and anger. Why was Zack laughing? They were on a mission and they had to be quiet about it or they would get their cover blown!

Zack, who was still laughing motioned once again for him to come to his side.

"Look, man!' He said grabbing and shoving Clouds head into the window, the blonde trying to wiggle out of the tight hold with his eyes shut. He let him go and Cloud opened his eyes, squinting in the darkness.

He finally made out a room that looked like it belonged to a little girl. Pink walls, stuffed animals everywhere, and posters of Justin Bieber on every square inch of said pink walls. He looked back at Zack, flustered.

"Zack, what are we doing here? We can't spy on a little girl from her window! Do you know how pedophilic this is?"

The tanned man laughed again, a bit louder this time. "Dude, look at the bed." He jerked his head up, nodding in the pink and white bed's direction. Cloud looked and squinted his blue eyes. He saw what looked like a trail of mesmerizing silver on the top of the blankets, and a big body was underneath the frilly sheets.

"What the hell?" Cloud murmured, looking at Zack for an explanation. The man with the intense Mako eyes motioned for him to go inside and take a look with a sparkle in his eyes. Cloud knew that sparkle. It meant Zack was up to no good.

He sighed, knowing Zack would keep pestering him if he didn't, so he climbed into the window and made his way to the bed, Zack watching him with amusement.

Cloud stumbled a couple of times on the big, fluffy abominations that were stuffed animals, Zack chuckling everytime. He was now at the bed side of the mysterious young girl and looked down at her waiting for his eyes to adjust. His eyes widened as he saw her face and made his way back to Zack in a rush, his eyes as big as the moon.

Zack was grining madly at Clouds shocked, and scared expression.

"Dude, are you shitting me?" Cloud partially hissed.

"Heh, nope! That there, in the girly bed, is the almighty Sephiroth!" Zack smiled.

Clouds assumptions were true. But this can't be right. What's Sephiroth doing sleeping in a girly bedroom? What a creeper! Zack made his way through the bedroom and dragged Cloud to the side of the sleeping Sephiroth. Cloud stopped him.

"We're not on a real mission, are we?" He asked Zack, pissed off.

"Of course not, silly chocobo, you!"

Cloud was fuming," What are we doing here then? Why did you bring me with you!"

Zack was trying to muffle Clouds light yelling with a cow plushie but almost suffocating him instead.

"Hey, quiet! Yeah, ok, it's not a real mission from Lazard. Ya got me. BUT! If Lazard truly loved us he would have given us this 'mission'. This is gonna be fun, Cloud! Look at what we already now about Sephy." Zack whispered loudly, motioning to Sephiroth.

"Plus, it's not even 8:00 o'clock and he's already fast asleep! It's like he's got a bedtime, that pansy."

The blonde was the only rational one here and he was worried about 'Sephy' waking up, and strangling the shit out of them.

"What if he wakes up and see's us.."

"Don't be such a stick in the mud, Cloudy! We won't get caught. We're too awesome." Zack folded his arms and grinned. Cloud sighed. He won this argument. Zack pumped his fist in victory and pulled out a camera from his pocket when he was finished gloating.

"What's that for?" Cloud asked in a worried tone.

"Camera. Blackmail." Zack spun around to Sephiroth, taking a picture quickly before Cloud could object. They both blinked rapidly at the sudden flash. There on the digital screen was the silver haired wonder curled up into a ball, with a sleeping mask that read "Sweet Dreams" and snuggling a purple bunny with pink sheets all around him.

Cloud sighed. Might as well let Zack do what he wanted. He didn't want to deal with an angry Zack who was having a temper-tantrum like a 4 and a half year old.

Zack continued to take more pictures of his room while saying things along the lines of "No ones ever gonna believe the almighty General who always seems like he's got a board covered in barbed wire shoved up his ass would be into all this crap like a loony."

Zack chuckled evily. He's got dirt on Sephy. Cloud on the other hand was horrified. When he found out what they did...

The infantry man spoke up from his spot near Sephiroths bed, he was looking down at the man in a thoughtful-dreamy-like-state.

"I guess it kinda makes sense for someone with such awesome hair to be into all this stuff, right Zack?"

The SOLDIER looked at Cloud with a face that said 'WHAT THE FUCK, MAN?' Cloud noticed Zacks disgusted face and looked away, embarrased. He could hear The dark haired man rummaging through things.

"Oh yeah! It's his Masamune!" Zack whispered in a gleeful voice at the discovery of Sephiroths killing doo-dad. Picking up the long sword from it's resting spot of stuffed fluffies, he started swinging it around hazardly in awe.

"Whadaya think he needs such a long sword for?" Zack asked intrigued.

"To kill who ever sneaks into his room at night and takes pictures of him sleeping.." Cloud answered.

Zack ranted, mostly to himself, "Nah. Hey! It reminds me of something you would stab a colorful pinata with! Or, not so colorful since Sephy's not such an adventerous person. And the pinata doesn't have candy in it. Sephy's not into stuff like that. There will be emo band CD's in this depressing pinata." Stated matter-of-factly.

"Ya know, the kinda CD's you have in your car?" Zack added with a raised eyebrow and a smirk knowing this would piss his friend off.

Clouds ears perked up at the mention of his prized music. "Bullet For my Valentine is NOT an emo band!" he whispered in angry denial, narrowing his eyes at Zack.

"Sure, sure." Zack rolled his electric blue eyes.

"OH! We still need to sneak on the rest of his family! Almost forgot!"

Zack made his way to the door to the rest of the house. Cloud had no other choice but to follow. They made their way through out the hallway (Zack humming The Mission Impossible theme song) until they heard voices coming from the living room on the first floor. Zack looked at Cloud and Cloud shrugged. They silently made their way down the stairs.

The duo leaned against the wall near the living room, out of sight, but they can hear and see what was going on.

Another man with silver hair, that was cut short sat on the raggedy sofa that was in the middle of the room, turned away from Zack and Cloud. It sounded like the man was crying at what was happening on the television.

"Noo! You can't be in the hospital! You have a fiance at home. Please don't die.." the silver haired man sniffled loudly through his tears.

Just then, another man with silver hair, but shoulder length walked in from what appeared to be the kitchen. His hair isn't as nice as Sephiroths... Cloud thought, but shook the idea fiercely out of his spike covered head when he realized how gay that sounded. He had a light yellow frilly apron on and a whisk in his hand.

"Loz..." The man spoke quietly yet emotionlessly.

The man on the couch, Loz, wiped his eyes with a nearby tissue and snapped his head in the other mans direction. "I am NOT crying, Yazoo! Now go away!" Loz's deep voice responded.

"Okay... Just be quiet...Brother is sleeping upstairs. I'll be in the kitchen taking the muffins out of the oven. And Loz.." The short haired man looked back at Yazoo with bloodshot eyes and a runny nose. Yazoo continued, "i'm telling Mother your acting like a baby instead of a big boy, and stop watching soap opera's..." and with that he turned around and re-entered the kitchen.

After that little episode, Zack and Cloud were left clutching their sides, gasping for air and trying to stay quiet. After a couple of minutes their laughing died down while Loz's crying escalated in the background.

"Those are his brothers." Zack explained in between small chuckles.

"Doesn't he have another one?" Cloud inquired wiping the tears from his eyes.

Zack responded," Yup, Kadaj. But he got checked into a mental hospital a while back."

Cloud raised an eyebrow. "That somehow doesn't suprise me after seeing everyone in this family. I think it's time to leave this house of freaks."