So, a couple of weeks have passed since the last chapter. Not a lot has changed, but Emma is suddenly a bit insecure herself. I hope you'll like it, enjoy and don't forget to leave some reviews! :)
"So… how are the things between you two now?" Belle was asking Emma, as the two of them were sitting for a little talk in the Charmings' apartment, while Snow and David were out with Neal and Henry was with his other mother.
"Um… it's ok. Like, nothing new. It's just like it used to be, only that now we meet each other each morning with a cup of coffee and slip a little kiss when we say 'good morning'. We talk mostly about Henry or our jobs. Nothing meaningful... I'm trying not to push her."
"And, does anyone even know? I mean… I noticed you two are a bit secretive about this."
"Actually no. It's been weeks now but we haven't told anybody, not even Henry, or my parents. So, I guess you're the only one that knows about us." Emma replies, with a little smile.
"But for some reason you don't sound like you're too happy. Is it really ok?" Belle asks, genuinely concerned about her friend.
"Yes well, you know me. I've loved her for a long time, I still do of course. For me it's like I'm just so relieved to be with her, finally. But for Regina… it's new for her. She doesn't know what it's like to be in a romantic relationship that's not with a man. I'm really just trying not to push her."
"Sweetie, but Regina has loved you for a long time too. Did you really never notice her face when she looks at you? That's love. And dating Robin Hood or any other guy is not the thing that makes that love go away. So what if she's only dated men?"
"It's just… like I said; I'm really trying not to push her… I don't want to scare her away. I don't know if she really loves me. We didn't really talk about that that much. It's happening fast, everything, even though it's been weeks. And actually, even her wanting us to be together, it's like… it kind of happened over night. I don't know. She was insecure and the next day she was kissing me."
"Emma, you sound like you just really need to talk to her. Why are you telling me these things? Go tell her! She's the one that you love, right? Go fucking now and tell her!" Belle is half angry half excited and very eager about the subject. She wants to see Emma and Regina happy together. She cares about her friends. Now is not the time for Emma to talk about Regina, she needs to talk to her.
"Yeah? And, why aren't we talking about your messed up love life, huh?" Emma answers back with a snarky yet a friendly tone.
"Stop;" she answered a second later, "I can't think about him anymore. I can't even bring myself to say his name. Regina was right; I need to take some time to be just me. To think about things. To figure out what I want to do. What I need to be. What Belle wants. So, give me some time!" Both of them exchange understanding looks and then Belle says, "So, if you don't mind, I'll walk with you downstairs and then I'll go to the shop. Someone has to take care of it."
They decide to leave it at it, and just get out. Emma takes her light grey wrap coat that was hanging on the hanger that's on the apartment door. She puts it on and grabs her keys from the kitchen counter. Belle grabs her dim grey coat and decides to just hold it for now. Emma opens the door before Belle as the latter's eyes twinkled as a sign of gratitude. That is Belle, even before her friends she's always so grateful and nice. It's hard to imagine her being anything but that. That is, of course, if you're not Rumplestiltskin; because this man knows every single angel of Belle's personality all too well – the good and the bad stuff.
When they get to the street Belle decides to take a walk to the shop. On her insanely high heels and with that maroon colored circle skirt that can be barely seen under her long coat she just put on, she walks away. Her deep brown hair is built up beautifully and it swings only a bit when the wind catches her instantly. After she unlocks the shop's door she gets in, takes off her coat and immediately starts cleaning the place. The dust that's all over the counter is just one thing that could be neater, Belle thinks to herself. She sighs, and gets to work.
Emma's palms are sweaty; she's clasping them for too long. Her mouth is dry but she tries to swallow anyway. She knows Henry is with Regina, so if she wants to speak with her, she needs to find sometime that he's not around to listen, or else he'll figure out the whole situation. She's standing on the porch of the mansion, can't bring herself to knock on the white door in front of her. She stares at the sign on the door that reads '108', her eyes are fixated on that number, her brain is completely clear of thoughts. She turns for a second to look over in order to see if Regina's car is parked in its spot, and it is. Just as she's about to knock, the door handle pulls down and Henry is in front of her.
"Ah, mom, what are you doing here? I'm just on my way to Gold's shop. Belle called me to come and help, she says it's a mess over there."
"Oh, um, I was just coming by to talk to your mother. I won't keep you here," she tells him. Emma always seems to get her son's body language, and now she can sense he wants to get out quickly thanks to his short sentences. "I love you!" She says a bit louder because her not-so-little boy has already left the porch. Calling Henry to help you, huh Belle? she wonders.
The other mother must have heard Emma's voice because she just came to check what was going on. "Hi there," she greeted her with a soft voice and a smile that could melt the blonde's heart at any given moment, "come in."
Regina leads the way to the living room. It's still daytime but the sky is a bit dark and the temperatures are low, hence the fireplace's fire has been burning for several hours now. Regina seats in the corner of the couch and Emma takes the seat in front of her. "We need to talk, Regina."
Regina senses something is off, but she can't exactly tell what it is. "Is something wrong, Emma?" she clenches her eyebrows without paying attention. Her legs are crossed and her hands travel on her hips, brushing them with her warmer palms in a cranky way.
Emma's eyes examine Regina's slow hand movement, the way her leg touches the other and then she looks away. Emma finally settles on the fire, her eyes are wide open as if she's just deep inside her own mind, disconnected from the rest of the world. Although she can hear what Regina asked her, she just stares over her shoulder and ignores her question.
"Emma, what is going on? You can talk to me, don't shut yourself up." These words must have triggered something on Emma's mind because after hearing them she immediately shifted her look and eyed Regina. Now Emma is just scanning Regina's deep brown eyes. For some reason, she finds it easier than talking. She's afraid to get rejected from her. What if she would prefer Robin Hood?
After a few moments, Emma decides to be brave. She noticed Regina's worried delve, and she doesn't want to make the latter too anxious. "I'm sorry I'm being over dramatic," she blinks deliberately, "I want to talk to you about something that's been bugging me for a while... But I don't want to upset you."
"Emma, you can tell me anything. I'm ready to listen, just tell me what it is because I really am starting to get worried." Regina seems desperate, why is Emma so uncomfortable?
"So… well, basically it's about you, about 'us'," she gulped at the last word, "I was thinking about our relationship, we've been together for a few weeks now, months maybe, but nothing seems to be progressing;" she pauses for a moment to let Regina comprehend her words. "I'm trying to give you space, to not push you, because I know how much insecure you were at the beginning of that. I remember you telling me that you're afraid, that maybe you're confused, and that the whole Robin thing is painful. But then… then after a night you kissed me again. And we both know this kiss was something… different. I guess I'm just trying to understand how to handle this whole situation."
"That's bugging you so much, Emma? I didn't realize that…" the older woman pauses for a few moments too before completing her idea. "Listen, you don't have to worry about that thing. I decided to put Robin behind me. After that talk we had at your place, I went to my house and I was really thinking about this. I may have loved Robin but I was the one to send him away. He's with his family now and it's the thing that matters the most. He found his home and I found mine, and it is here with you, and Henry. That's why I asked to kiss you that day. It was my way to let you know that I'm here, that I'm ready to get into that with you," she grins, and the corners of her eyes wrinkle. She speaks with confident and a secure attitude that surprises the woman in front of her. "And it was probably for me too. To see that we can actually work together. And now when I look back, I have no idea why I thought it wouldn't. I've always loved you, Emma Swan; after all of these years it's finally clearer than ever. You are the one I want to see every morning when I open my eyes. And I'm so sorry that I've made you feel otherwise."
Emma's heart is racing inside her chest; she can hear her own heartbeats loud and clear. Emma Swan is unable to move, her palms are sweaty again and her gaze is fixated. She can feel her cheeks redden and she presses her lips against each other so bluntly they're probably white by now. Her ears know what they heard but the brain is unable to process the meaning of it. This is beyond anything Emma Swan could have hoped for. After hearing the words 'I've always loved you' coming out of Regina Mills' mouth she is just speechless.
After a few moments, Emma Swan smiles the biggest smile a person ever could. It's like she can control the weather with just her mood because suddenly even the sun can be seen from outside. Emma's white teeth shine so bright, her wrinkles around her eyes express the happiness spreading from her heart outside, from the center of her body and soul to the rest of herself.
"I love you too," she replies only with these four words, and then rapidly comes closer to Regina so she can kiss her.
Regina lets her hips loosen and uncrosses them, Emma is on her knees facing her, and her level is only a bit lower than Regina's. The brunette bends over the blonde and grasps her neck. Her hands are soft and so are her lips on Emma's softer ones. Their eyes are shut and they depend on the rest of their senses. They use the sense of touch to feel each other's bodies, the sense of smell to scent their skins and their hair, the sense of taste to sample the unique combination that their lipsticks create and finally the sense of hearing to carefully listen to each other's breathings. They may not look at each other at the moment, and their eyes might not be connected, but their whole soul is locked to the other's. Their kiss lasts several minutes and then both of them pull away for a brief moment to take a deep breath. Regina opens her eyes seconds after the break, Emma does the same and they exchange looks.
After a few seconds they cling back. Emma moves to sit next to Regina and matches her level, while their lips are still connected. She touches Regina's dark hair with both of her hands passionately than ever and leans on her. Regina's back is touching the couch's armrest while Emma is adjusting herself on top of Regina's body. Emma's hands wander on Regina's soft skin, their legs are touching one another and they slowly take off each other's shoes with their toes. Regina is wearing a pair of black high nylon socks that were hidden inside her boots. Emma's feet touch them and pull them out of Regina's.
Regina's palms touch Emma's back; she moves them downwards and hesitantly brushes the blonde's buttock over her rusty skinny jeans. Then Emma's body language asks to break apart for a few moments once again in order to breathe. The tips of their noses are brushing and they open their eyes slowly.
Regina's eyes are full of love and Emma can sense the fire inside her partner's soul through them. The gaze between them is the most powerful one both of them have ever experienced. Regina grabs the notched lapel on Emma's coat and starts to peel it off of her slowly, not looking away from Emma's eyes. Emma helps her to take off the rest of the coat and she throws it on the floor, as far away as she can from the fire. Their locked eyes speak for themselves, but both of them want to make sure it's okay anyway; "Are you sure?" Emma asks Regina, and the latter responded with a simple "Yes".
Emma's tongue reaches Regina's once again but then she suddenly kisses her neck for the first time ever. It feels good and Emma can tell just how much thanks to Regina's deep moan and the way her breath caught. "Yes!" Regina exclaims, she can't stop moaning and that makes Emma chuckle and her eyes crinkle. How cute is this woman?
The sun can be seen from behind the curtains. It's early in the morning and Emma Swan wakes up as a ray of light catches her eyes. She just seats there half naked, on the floor near the couch, facing the window. She and Regina spent the whole day and night right next to each other, and time stops for them when they're together.
Regina is lying on the couch with her full glory, slowly breathing, still asleep. Emma turns a bit to look at her. She scans her body with her eyes. Her legs and her beautiful dark hair seem so different at this light.
It's the first time ever Emma can really take a look of what Regina looks like underneath all of her masks. It's the first time she sees all of her, for real. Not just emotionally, but physically too.
She appreciates the way her hair seems a bit messy, the way her left hand is placed near her head and her right hand is almost touching the floor. She lies on her stomach and her back is completely bare.
Emma sees all of that and then she realizes finally – Regina and she were together. And it was damn good.
"Regina," she whispers, "Regina, wake up." Emma whispers closer to her ear while looking for her bra around her.
"Um, what?" Regina sort of muttered and breathed heavily.
"Come on, Regina, you need to wake up, it's morning," she puts on the same pants she wore yesterday, "wake up!"
"What do you mean 'it's morning'?" she raises her head up a little and opens one eye. The sun blinds her.
"We were here all night, now Henry must be wondering where we are." Emma takes a look in the mirror and closes another button of her shirt.
Regina is just about to realize what happened. She opens her eyes and sees herself naked on the couch. "Ouch." Her back hurts a little when she moves; she's never slept on the couch before.
Emma goes back to the living room. She stands in front of the couch with a smile on her face. "God, you look so beautiful," she says in appreciation. She grasps her arm and helps her turn on her back so she can look at her too. "We really need to get going."
"Emma," she says in return. Just uses her name to earn her full attention again. "We should take a moment," she takes a deep breath and squints, "Henry is at your parents', it is okay, we can take a moment."
Emma exhales, "okay, you're right."
"So, how about I find myself something to wear," she giggles, "and then we can seat and relax a bit?"
"Sounds good to me."
Regina picks up her clothes from the floor and just runs upstairs wearing completely nothing. Emma tries to look away, but Regina's snarky look tells her she won't mind if she'd take a look. "You don't have to find something to wear if you don't want to!" Emma drops the sentence loud enough for Regina to hear halfway up the stairs, and laughs a bit.
"So where is Emma exactly? And Regina? Isn't it your turn to be at her place?" Snow asks Henry while they prepare for breakfast. She doesn't mean to sound rude, it's just that she didn't expect him and wants to know if everything is alright.
"Um, I think they are together at the mansion. I mean, that was the last time I saw both of them. They won't pick up the phone. But I wouldn't worry about them."
"Oh, okay…" Snow knows what 'together' really means, "So, do you want to stop by or should I ask David to take you straight to school?"
"Ugh, Grandma! Why do all of you always refuse to just let me walk to school by myself? This town is not that big! It's not like I can get lost or anything…"
"Oh, come on Henry, David has a car, it's faster. And, I know your moms wouldn't want you to be alone on the streets. Just let him take you." David comes to the room and exchanges a quick kiss with Snow, "He needs to drive to the station anyway."
"Fine, I guess. Can I at least have a donut on the way?" he smiles cutely enough for Snow to compromise. "Yay!"
"Okay Henry, let's go! School starts in five minutes." David says and smiles back at him while his grandson takes a huge bite off the donut, just like Emma would.
"So," Regina comes down the stairs after a few minutes with a new dress and some very high heels. "Do you want to seat in the kitchen? We can make breakfast."
"Isn't it just exhausting to keep your looks like that every single day?" Emma responded and started walking towards the kitchen.
"Well, I'm the mayor. I still need to dress like one. And, you probably remember the dresses from the Enchanted Forest. This," she points at her body, "is an upgrade." Both of them laugh quietly. "But I do like it anyway, so, no, it's not really exhausting."
They seat at the table and don't say a word. They just exchange their looks, and Regina just studies Emma's slow, shy movements. Regina stands up and goes to the sink to wash her hands. "So, what do you want to eat?"
"Um, actually I just want something sweet. Can you make a hot cocoa maybe?"
"Yes, of course." Regina sends a soft smile.
When she comes back to the table with a hot cocoa and a coffee in her hands, Emma suddenly smiles back. "Oh, I almost forgot!" Regina says enthusiastically, "Here is some cinnamon! I know you like it." She grabs it from the kitchen counter near her.
Emma seemed distant in the last minutes, but after receiving her cocoa she's better. It was probably just her need to drink something.
"So, um, what do you wanna talk about?" The younger woman asks.
"I just wanted you to know that I really meant what I said yesterday. Nothing has changed, if you had any doubts. I love you, Emma."
She swallows. It's still so refreshing to hear Regina Mills say that. After all the times Emma had said it to Regina, but just in her own mind. Never really out loud. "And I love you too Regina." She grabs her palm, "I really do… and, it took me too much time to say it."
"Emma, I…" she sighs, "It took me a long time too. I'm sorry about that. I'm sorry that I keep everything to myself. I need to say what's on my mind, I just…" Emma cuts her words immediately, "It's alright Regina, you don't have to say completely everything. You can get some privacy if that's what you need. Just because we're together now, it doesn't mean you have to tell me all of your deepest darkest secrets. We need to take time to know each other in a different way. We are no longer just the Mayor and the Sheriff. It's more than that now…"
"Yes, Emma, but we haven't been just the Mayor and the Sheriff for a long time now. I think…"
"Yes, well, that's right, but," Emma starts mumbling, "you know what I mean by that."
"Is everything okay Emma?" Regina takes Emma's palms closer to her.
"Yes, Regina, it's just that yesterday…" she pauses.
"What? What about yesterday?"
"Yesterday was fucking wonderful, Regina," she kind of speaks too loud, "It was fucking amazing, okay?" Regina laughs quietly with the woman in front of her. "I haven't had this good sex in a long time! It was a fucking mind-blowing sex!"
With a wide smile and understanding eyes, Regina asks, "So, what's the matter?"
"It was the first time you and I have sex after I pictured it so many times in my mind and then the first thing I think of when I wake up is the fact we haven't told Henry anything. He has no clue where I am right now; he doesn't even know that we're together. My father has probably taken him to school by now, but he has no idea why wasn't it you or me who did that. And I tell you that and all you tell me is that we should take a moment? I thought of my son the second I open my eyes after the mind-blowing sex, I can't take a moment, Regina!"
"Wha- Emma. I texted him a few minutes ago when I was changing clothes, he's okay, David did drive him to school. Why are you panicking? It's not like you."
"I don't know Regina, I think your mouth messed up my brain. You're a genius. I mean, where have you been all my life? Are you sure you've never been with a woman before?" Emma starts laughing and Regina does the same a second later.
"You know, it's not like I did everything by myself, you're pretty good too, Emma." She takes a small sip from her mug but not looking away from Emma's eyes.
"But seriously though, you're sure everything is fine?"
"Yes, you know, I think I'm just too excited about the fact we had sex."
"You were even better Emma. Really, I just… I don't usually scream when I think of how good my sex is."
"Oh really, Regina? I think your memory is a bit off, because yesterday, you were screaming and moaning out loud. I hope nobody heard you!"
"Well, you knew exactly what to do to get me to that point, Emma…"
"Okay, okay, enough with the compliments, I need to go home and change my clothes. I really hope my parents aren't there. They will recognize them from yesterday."
Regina chuckles, "Okay, but just finish your cocoa!" she winks.
Regina is going to Gold's Pawnshop. She knows at this time of the day it's most likely she would find Belle over there. It's still sunny but it's not warm, so she needs to take her coat with her. Regina decides to leave her car at home, she needs the time to think about Emma and what does she want to do next.
The wind is pushing back her hair, and she puts her hands inside her coat's pockets. She stops for a moments to just breath and she closes her eyes. She takes a few more steps and a deep breath, and opens the door of the shop.
"Hi Belle, are you in here?" She asks loudly to get her attention; she's probably in the back.
"Oh, yes Regina, just a second!" Belle puts a book to rest on the desk and goes to see Regina near the entrance of the shop.
"Emma and I had sex."
"Woah! Regina! That's… that's wonderful! Do I want to know the details, or…"
"Well, it wasn't such a big deal. It was just some very good couch sex."
"Seriously, your first time is on the couch?"
"Well…" she pauses, her eyes seem to be filling with happiness when she thinks of Emma Swan. "I told her that I loved her," Belle seems to be very excited to hear, "And then she said it back. And we kissed and we just had some 'mind-blowing sex'."
"You told her that you loved her and she said it back?! Regina! That's huge!" Belle smiles and touches her friend's shoulder. If they were the kind of friends that hug, it would have been that time. But they appreciate even just the little gesture of touching each other's shoulders instead.
"Yes, well, you said that she'd say that all along. You knew better than me. You told me she loved me before I knew she loved me." Regina accepts Belle's enthusiasm. She's excited herself.
"I'm just… I'm so happy for you guys. You're really meant to be together. I hope you get married and have tons of kids."
"Oh, come on Belle. Don't do that."
"Don't do what? Tell you that I love you two together? You are just so in love, I can't take it anymore, Regina. You are in love." Her last words echoed in Regina's mind, and suddenly she realizes her friend's face is not 100% filled with happiness. She misses the one she loves herself.
"Are you okay? You're not drinking anymore, are you?"
"No, I'm okay… I just keep thinking about Rumple. I want him back. I know I've said I want to take time to be by myself, but I thought about it, and I just can't do that if I don't know what's going on with him. I want to go look for him, Regina. I've made a terrible mistake. I just want him to be back." Her expression is suddenly a bit sadder, and her eyes are fixated on the floor. She can't make eye contact when she's thinking about what a horrible thing she did to the man she loves most. She just feels too guilty.
"Belle… what do you want to do? What do you have in mind?"
"I need to go look for him," she looks into Regina's eyes, "I will take Ingrid's scroll, and I'll go look for him. I'll bring him back. Or, maybe I'll just talk to him. I don't know. I need to tell him that I'm sorry. It was a reckless thing to do and I'm sorry. I love him." She takes a deep breath once again.
Regina sighs, "Belle… don't get me wrong, I'll support you no matter what you decide, but… what if he has moved on? What if he's angry?"
"Regina… you don't understand. It doesn't matter. He is my one true love, and I'm his. We're bounded forever even if we like it or not. I've made a mistake that I need to fix. It took me too much time anyway, I can't waste any more minutes. I broke his heart." She stops for a second but then completes her thought, "Can you tell me you wouldn't do the same for Emma?"
"Belles… tell me what can I do to help. I don't want you to go by yourself. You have no idea what it's like out there."
"Yes well, you don't really know that much about it either, Regina. How can you help me?"
"Fine, you're right. Then Emma will come too. She would want to help anyway. You can't go alone, Belle."
"Regina… I don't want to drag you two into my problematic love life. You need to be focused on yourselves…" Belle gulped. Deep inside she wouldn't mind to have some company, but when she thinks of the three of them together on the road... she'll have to watch them together. She does want them to be happy with each other, but they're in love, and they're together. And the one person in the whole world that she loves the most has a broken heart because of her. Will Belle be able to watch them together without constantly thinking and worrying about her own husband? Seems impossible.
"Come on, Belle, let me help you. Don't get me worried. It is the Dark One you're in love with after all."
"But he'll never hurt me, Regina." Belle trembled. She can't stand people who keep reminding her of his typical nickname. He was never dark around her. She never felt like there's a need to be feared. Regina tends to forget that, and every time it's bugging her.
"Fine, so, think about it? At least? If not because of him so because of that world. It might be without magic but it is dangerous."
"Okay, I'll think about it."
After a few hours in the office, Regina Mills is starting to get tired. Sitting near her desk for hours after hours and just writing down some things that need to be done in the town. Being Mayor can be exhausting sometimes. And Emma Swan understands that. That's why she's knocking on the door holding two cups of coffee in her hand.
"Hi, Emma, I didn't expect to see you here today," Regina says after rising from her seat to welcome Emma into her office. "Are you better now?"
"Oh, yes, I'm on a break, I thought I'd stop by and we can drink some coffee together." She hands her the hotter cup.
"Sure! Actually I wanted to talk to you about something."
"Oh?"
"Um… yes," her voice is lower than usual and she barely makes eye contact. "A couple of things even." She pauses and looks at her. "Um," she decides to start with the thing that's easier for her, "I was at the shop this morning… Belle says she wants to look for Gold. I told her that I want to go with her, and that you would want to, right?"
"To go look for Gold? In New York? Of course I won't let her be by herself there! I'm coming!"
"Well, she didn't really like that idea, actually. But she promised me she'll consider it."
"I don't want her to be alone, it's too dangerous. She'll be completely lost. She has to let us come."
"Yes, well, that's what I told her. I hope she agrees eventually."
"Yeah…" a few moments of weird silence and then Emma continues, "So, you said there's something else?"
"Ah, yes. I want to ask you something."
"Yes, Regina? What is it?" Emma is eager to know and the buildup is making her worried more than she has to be.
"Um… after the 'mind-blowing' sex," she finally starts, "I was thinking about it," her voice is low and she plays with her fingers, "And… Emma… Do you want to move in with me?" There's a quiet pause for a moment, Emma doesn't react so Regina continues, "I mean, It can be great. We've been together for a while, but we're never really together. And finally you and Henry can be out of your parents' apartment, and…" she stutters, "and you wouldn't have to listen to Neal's crying every night. And we could be together. What do you think?"
"Regina," Emma finally lets the words come out after a few moments of being silent, "I like this idea, but…"
Emma stops, and by the time she completes her thoughts, Regina already thinks of the worst case scenario. But what? "Nobody except Belle even knows we're together. I think we need to tell them first. And then, maybe, I'll move in with you." She starts mumbling, "I really want to, Regina, but I want to make sure we're both ready for that, and that Henry is ready for that. I think we should let him know and hear him out too."
"Yes, you're right. We shouldn't rush it. I was just thinking…" she stops. "We should let Henry know."
"Yes, we should let him know, and after that," Emma takes Regina's hand because she can't stand the movement of her fingers anymore, and because she wants to make sure she's really okay. "I'll give you an answer." She delves into her eyes, "Okay?"
It's fine Regina. It's just fine. "Yes."
Thank you for reading! And, don't forget the reviews! ;)
