Chapter 3: The Master Plan

Disclaimer: I do not own any Nintendo characters, settings, or logos.


"How did you hack into my system's computer?" Rosalina took a step back, appearing more confounded than afraid of the extraterrestrial imp.

"Easy for a genius like me..." Tatanga waved off her comment with a two-fanged smile. "I see you've been having some problems with your hyper drive. Must be that nasty Mechawiggler I beamed aboard your ship?"

A large robotic Wiggler revealed itself, its countless legs embedded in the tower and a plug-like mouth implanted into the central core. It was identical in appearance to the one that Bowser had used to siphon energy from New Donk City a short while ago, but Rosalina was unfamiliar with the multi-legged automaton. It sunk its jaws still deeper into the system, diverting all power away from the shields.

Polari suddenly returned, his beady blue eyes growing in shock. "You monster! Why send in a robot when you already have access to the mainframe?"

"I do not believe our paths have crossed before. What do you possibly gain from attacking my home, and why have you chosen to endanger my children?"

"To prevent you vermin from escaping, of course!" Tatanga let out a chirp-like laughter.

Rosalina brought a hand to her face, her eyes widening ever-so-slightly. "What!?"

"Shields are down, so my job's finished!" the purple humanoid laughed. "Might wanna put out some party snacks, cause you're about to have some company!"

The monitor flickered once more before going blank, though she was now focused on the loud rumbling above their heads. Seeing the metal monstrosity growing ever closer, she held an arm out and braced herself as the Mechawiggler scampered across the tower and came crashing down from its perch, and landing with a metallic crunch on the main floor of the observatory.

Rosalina tightened her grip on her wand, her expression hidden by her hair. "It's happening again." she began, not even turning to face her long-time assistant.

He shuddered at the memory of Bowser's attack on their home. It had been a terrible affair in which many of the Lumas had gone missing in the blackness of space and the Power Stars were taken, all for the sake of some villain's dark desire to conquer the universe. They had hoped such an atrocity would never occur again, yet now they faced another mysterious enemy, only this one seemed to have no other intention than the cause pain and suffering.

"Mama... What shall we do?" Polari murmured timidly.

"Get the little ones to safety using the active Launch Stars. While you attend to the children, I will do what I can to stave off this menace."

The black Luma titled forward as if bowing before zipping away at break-neck speed. He had been her aide for many years and was used to carrying out her instructions in emergencies, but in spite of his experience, it was never easy to leave her behind, just as it was never easy for a child to say goodbye to its mother. As Polari darted around rallying the other Lumas to action, their protector prepared to face the monstrous robot. The Mechawiggler's many robotic eyes detected her presence before launching itself at her like a stampeding missile.

Rosalina conjured a circular barrier around her body as the beast plowed into her, the impact sending her flying high into the air like a pitched baseball. While the shield had protected her physical body, the spinning motion left her dazed, and it took a moment to regain her bearings. She shot high into the air and landed gracefully on the platform outside of the Engine Room, eying her attacker with caution.

It had not yet caught sight of her. She twirled her wand repeatedly, causing several dozen Star Bits to materialize and launch themselves at the robot. Realizing the flurry had only revealed her location, she pirouetted sideways to avoid a series of electric orbs launched by the iron beast, using a series of barriers to absorb the energy blasts.

The mecha's robotic brain re-evaluated the battle strategy before making a beeline for the tower, hurling more electric orbs upwards as it effortlessly scaled the walls.

"Perhaps... ... ..." She noticed the glowing orbs on the creature back flashing dangerously before plotting her next move. "Yes, maybe..."

Cloaking herself in another barrier, she increased the gravitational pull around herself and leapt downwards, shooting safely past the projectiles and directly into one of the robot's many segments. The monstrous Mechawiggler twitched violently as sparks flew from the destroyed pod, causing it to release several of the Power Stars it had absorbed from her ship.

"It would appear the circular cores atop each segment are its power source. And also, its weakness." she surmised, her calm manner of speaking doing little to convey the dire situation.

Rosalina floated so that she was level with the creature, who remained wrapped around the engine, and conjured a series of Launch Stars around the beast. The robot's eyes flashed as it attempted to process the situation. She waved her wand like a conductor's baton, causing countless Star Bits to appear before channeling them through the nearby Launch Stars, propelling them towards the robotic worm like an unruly hail. The Mechawiggler twitched uncontrollably as the bombardment began, its glowing orbs cracking under the strain of her impromptu meteor shower.

"That should do..." she observed the smoldering scrap pile for a moment.

It's robotic eyes went dark for a moment as if someone had turned it off, but a moment later, the mecha screeched loudly. Switched into survival mode, it phased straight through the central tower like a ghost, eliciting a rare look of shock from the Guardian of the Stars.

She blinked in surprise, not having expected the machine to possess such an ability. Seconds later, it poked its head out from a nearby wall, launching more plasma balls before ducking back to safety like a Monty Mole retreating into the ground. The tide of battle shifted again as she was forced to go on the defensive while trying to figure out where the creature would emerge next, now barely able to raise a shield fast enough to avoid its rapid electric bolts.

After several close calls, she noticed a visible electric feedback on the surface of the Comet Observatory tower. Dodging two more energy balls with her levitation skills, she noticed that the creature always paused to attack, almost as if it needed to reveal itself. It took her only a second to conclude that it couldn't attack through solid objects and had to emerge from hiding in order to strike. Each time it did, the beast would inevitably reappear with a surge of sparks.

Following its pattern with her eyes, she drew another barrier around herself and floated towards the nearest Launch Star, firing herself directly at the Mechawiggler's head as soon as it emerged from the wall. Her barrier cracked slightly as she smashed into the robot, causing the monstrosity to screech loudly before losing its grip on the tower. It fell backwards before crashing onto the deck, its legs squirming helplessly before falling stiff. More sparks flew from its segments, each shattering into pieces on after the next before disappearing in a spectacular chain of explosions. The debris plunged outwards into the vacuum of space.

She hovered slowly before landing on her feet at the control station, though the monitor was cracked and several scorch marks and broken debris now littered the once serene observatory.

Polari popped up behind her, looking slightly shaken by the battle, but happy nonetheless. "Oh dear, are you okay?"

"You needn't worry, I am fine." She dusted off her usually pristine dress, the edges of her sleeves now singed from the battle. "Did the other Lumas escape to safety?"

"They used the Launch Stars to reach the Starship Mario. I believe Lubba is escorting them to the safety of Star Haven in the skies above the Mushroom Kingdom."

The shadow of relief flashed across her normally inscrutable face. "Thank Heavens..." she gazed into the vast void of space, taking a moment to catch her breath. "I am certain Eldstar will keep them safe for the time being."

She had met the Elder of Star Haven a handful of times in the past, and he was always a kind-hearted spirit. There was little reason for her to be concerned so long as Lubba could arrive safely to his domain. It was helpful to have others out there who had dedicated their lives to protecting the fledgling stars. Glancing around at the damage, she was also relieved to see that all of the domes were still intact, and her home relatively unscathed despite the mess. Most of the Power Stars stolen by the Mechawiggler were gravitating back towards the main engine as if drawn by some invisible force.

Her Luma assistant flew over to the control panel. "It will only be a matter of hours before the system is fully operational again. Once the power's fully restored, we'll be able to activate the shields and clean up this place in no time at all!"

"It would appear we were fortunate, but I fear our friends on the surface may still be in grave danger." she spared a glance at the planet below. "We must warn Mario and the others immediately."

Rosalina exhaled deeply as she considered the situation, only for her thoughts to be interrupted by a sudden chill in the air. Rubbing her hands together, she turned to face her companion, who was also shivering at the sudden drop in temperature.

"Odd..." she began calmly, the tiniest of gasps escaping her lips as a wintery layer of frost glossed over the surface of her home, eventually spreading to the ground beneath her feet. "What is this?"

"Look out!" Polari barreled into her from behind with all the strength his tiny body could muster, causing her to stumble and slide as her feet touched the ice.

Her face fell as she turned around to find her entire observatory coated with a thick layer of ice and snow, and her longtime companion encased within a block of ice. Rosalina only had a second to process what had happened before being forced to shield herself from a wave of freezing air.

A massive anthropomorphic walrus emerged from the icy fog, a large horn grasped in his left hand. Hearing footsteps coming from the opposite direction, she caught sight of an familiar block of ice wearing a crown, and a floating blue cape with glowing yellow eyes also wearing a crown. She recognized the second creature as Baron Brrr, though the others were very much a mystery as the purple alien from before.

"Tell me who you are." she demanded, doing well to hide her discomfort.

"Silence wench! You stand before Fredrik, the undisputed ruler of the Snowmad!" the Waldough drew himself up a little straighter as he spoke, his eyes narrowing dangerously.

Baron Brrr twitched indignantly as it recognized her and began showering Rosalina with shards of ice.

She performed a Star Spin to shatter the frozen assault. "What do you hope to accomplish here?"

"I am the Crystal King, a humble servant of King Bowser." the floating cape spewed forth a cloud icy mist. "The master desires vengeance, and I shall be the instrument of his will!"

Rosalina pushed back using her barrier, but it was steadily becoming more difficult to stave off the assault from both directions. "So Bowser was responsible for this attack. I assume you are his minions."

"Do not insult me!" Lord Fredrik leapt backwards away from her. "We stand united so that all who have opposed us shall be dealt with... That is all!"

"Have you yet to realize!? We do not desire the Power Stars this time! The prize we seek in none other than you!" the Crystal King declared with much aplomb.

"Feel the power of my endless cold!" the Snowmad King declared.

He placed the horn to his mouth, the loud wail echoing from within summoning a series of white dragons swathed in the same freezing cold as his fellow villains. Rosalina's impassive expression changed to one of shock as the Ice Dragons descended from above and joined in the assault. As their attacks were all ice-based, it felt as though they were combining together and growing more powerful with each passing second.

A thick layer of ice formed around her barrier and began pushing inwards as it grew ever larger, swelling to colossal size in a matter of seconds. She was effectively trapped inside her own protective sphere, and with the mass of the surrounding ice increasing exponentially every moment, it was rapidly becoming harder to keep it at bay. Even inside the shield, she could feel the air supply decreasing and the temperature dropping, the exhaustion from her previous fight now taking its toll.

The faces of her friends flashed through her mind. "No..." she heard a cracking noise and closed her eyes, her lament unheard as the icy mist flooded and shattered her protective barrier. Falling to her knees, she raised a shivering hand, which was quickly covered in ice, and in a matter of moments her entire body was fully engulfed.

After another minute or two, the three icy villains ceased their attack, Lord Fredrik taking a moment to survey the results. Tapping his fist against the gargantuan sphere of ice, the obese walrus thrust a fist into the air. "Victory!" he shouted in a deep booming voice.

"King Bowser will be pleased." the Crystal King declared.

Tatanga's spaceship quickly descended on the scene, his new rig appearing much larger than the previous two crafts destroyed by Mario. It appeared more like a flying saucer with heavily armored sides and several strange-looking weapons. Hovering overhead, a series of robotic arms sprung from the bottom of the ship and ensnared the icy prison containing the Rosalina, the other villains grabbing hold as they were pulled through the bottom hatch.

"And now for the consolation prize..." the purple alien rubbed his hands together greedily.

A series of snake-like cables shot from the alien ship and embedded themselves in the Comet Observatory's central tower. After several minutes, the core of the Comet Observatory let out a weak groan, the lights in each section switching off one after the next as if they were a series of candles being snuffed out. Detaching the chords, the villains departed at once, Rosalina's beloved home now floating motionless in its orbit around the planet.


Deep within the confines of Bowser's Castle, the Koopa King sat watching the festivities with an evil grin. Relaxing on his throne, he glanced around the room at a series of monitors set up by his minions relaying information from all around the world. Ludwig and Kammy Koopa had joined their master, the latter wearing a thoughtful expression while the former seemed to be enjoying himself quite a bit.

Bowser placed both claws behind his head and slumped his shoulders. "Gotta love it when a plan comes together. It was a genius idea equipping every airship with high resolution surveillance cameras. Now we get the see the action unfold live."

His elderly attendant rubbed her eyes. "The color's a bit too rich for these old peepers, but at least we know those goons are playing their part."

"Just as I have envisioned!" Ludwig affirmed mischievously.

Captain Goomba suddenly poked his head out from behind their leader, looking slightly off put by how easily he was ignored. "Don't go taking all the credit. I'm the on who came up with this whole plan!"

The oldest Koopaling flicked him in the head. "You only proposed the simple concept of teamwork. It was my genius battle strategy that will lead us to victory!"

"Oh yeah!" the flag-bearing Goomba responded with tackle, which his target sidestepped before punching him. "No fair, you have arms!"

"Stop ruining the moment!" Bowser shot a series of fireballs between his feuding underlings, causing them both to grovel whilst muttering several apologies. Satisfied with their response, he sat back down and relaxed. "So, what were you morons bickering about, now?"

Ludwig casually clonked his rival on the head, knocking him out. "The recipe for victory is more than strength in numbers. It's also about making certain that we choose the right opponents for each of our targets."

The Koopa King scratched his head for a moment, his face lighting up as the realization hit. "Aha! So you put some thought into organizing these teams before the fight even started."

"What a clever brat." Kammy Koopa squawked, looking slightly impressed.

"The most important thing we have to remember is that every villain has a story to tell. After all, the source of their hatred comes from years of humiliation suffered at the hands of Mario and his pesky friends!"

Bowser made a retching nose. "Like I care to listen to sob stories told by other bad guys."

The Koopa composer smiled deviously. "Ah yes, but every time a battle is lost, the loser learns more about their nemesis."

Captain Goomba popped back up, surprising the others. "Learning about the enemy is the most efficient way to come up with a winning strategy."

"Quite right! Once you know what to expect from a target, you can also plan the best method to ensure their eventual defeat."

Their glorious leader considered the idea for a moment before letting out a loud and decidedly obnoxious laugh. "Gwahahahaha! So that's why you spent so much time interviewing those B-list bad guys!"

Kammy Koopa glanced at the nearest monitor. "So you knew that Rosalina person would be forced to defend herself using a barrier, and expected her powers would have limitations."

"No one is invincible..." Ludwig replied menacingly, earning a chorus of evil laughter from the others.


-Meanwhile- Beanbean Kingdom

Across the Mushroom Kingdom's border was another land occupied by the Beanish People, who lived in peace under the benevolent reign of Queen Bean. They were bipedal creatures with light green skin and a humanoid appearance. Standing taller than Toads, they possessed longer legs, larger heads and torsos, expressionate faces, and hair.

Several years ago, the Beanbean Kingdom had fallen under attack by the witch Cackletta and her evil sidekick Fawful, who planned to rule the world using a wish-granting relic stolen from the Beanish Royal Family. With the help of the Mario Brothers, the kingdom's prince defeated the insidious duo and Bowser, insuring the continued peace of both of their homelands, while improving diplomatic relations between them.

Prince Peasley was a handsome young Beanish with shoulder-length blonde hair. He wore a white tunic and cape, and was usually seen wielding a sword or lance in battle. As the resident protector, he often patrolled the land while riding atop a winged flying platform, keeping an eye out for trouble from his perch in the sky.

He stopped to rest, landing on a cliff overlooking Woohoo Hooniversity. The school was dedicated to studying humor and laughter, yet not long ago Cackletta had transformed its students and faculty into laser-spewing Snifits, nearly resulting in its utter destruction. With the monsters driven out and the building repaired, it felt as though what transpired had only been a bad dream.

The royal hero smiled, his hair flowing in the afternoon breeze. "Ah. what a glorious day!"

"Are you the prince of this wretched kingdom?" an unfamiliar voice called out.

Prince Peasley twirled around gracefully to get a better look at the stranger. His guest bore a close resemblance to the Koopalings, though the pupils of his eyes were star-shaped, and he wore a colorful red and blue jester outfit fastened with a golden broach. Bizarre as he appeared, the heroic royal couldn't help but feel unsettled in his presence.

"And who might you be, good sir?" he bowed politely to the jester.

"Motley!" A red-topped scepter similar to those wielded by Magikoopas appeared in the jester's hand. "Lord Bowser has invited you to his kingdom for a long visit. You will be coming with me, now."

"Very generous of the Koopa King to offer. But what will happen if I were to decline?"

"I'm afraid that I must insist..." Motley shook his wand causing several blobs of metallic jelly to appear and encase his body, the combined mass taking the form of a rotund clownish monster resembling a caricature of the person within.

Bouncing around the ground, Motley Bossblob attempted to crush his prey, but the boy proved remarkably fast, easily avoiding him with a quick display of footwork. After a few more jumps, his gelatinous construct split apart, revealing the jester once more, who quickly ran away while throwing blobs at his opponent.

"Remarkably dim, aren't you!" Peasley leapt aboard his flying platform, allowing him to catch up with the fleeing villain. "Too bad, I was looking forward to a greater challenge."

The Beanish Prince raised his sword and slashed his adversary several times, gallantly sheathing his blade with a confident smile. The jester's clothing tore to pieces, leaving him standing in his brightly colored underwear. Motley tried to wave his wand again, but the tip fell off and shattered to pieces. Screaming in horror, he ran away from the scene, leaving behind an amused royal who promptly tousled his hair.

"Perhaps next time you'll think before starting trouble in the Beanbean Kingdom!" he called after the fleeing villain.

Peasley exhaled before leaping atop his flying platform, taking to the skies again to continue his rounds. While cruising majestically through the air, he began to notice some unsettling changes. A moment ago there hadn't been a single cloud visible, yet a darkness was rolling in from the east, rapidly blanketing the skies of his beloved country. Barely avoiding a bolt of lighting from above, he immediately knew that this weather was not natural.

A single glanced above his head confirmed this. "Fine day for a flight, eh gentleman?"

Two Lakitus immediately moved in on his position, an unusual sight for two reasons. To begin with, Lakitus were a rare sight in the Beanbean Kingdom, as the local Lakipeas were not friendly towards them. Secondly, the duo following him were clearly different from the average member of the species. The first was incredibly large and fat, wearing a golden crown and glasses, and riding on a purple cloud with glowing yellows eyes. The second was closer to the size of a normal Lakitu, but he wore dark sunglasses and rode a black cumulonimbus cloud with no face.

"Get him, Lakithunder!" King Lakitu ordered his more diminutive partner.

"You ain't the boss of me!" Lakithunder argued before firing a series of lightning bolts at their target, growing angry when he managed to avoid each one. "He's a quick one, that's for sure!"

"Quicker than this?" the obese flyer tossed three spiked eggs which immediately hatched into a trio of Spinies.

"Oh dear..." Prince Peasley prompted his transport to fly higher as the flying Spinies began shooting their spikes like darts. "Fighting them in mid-air is certain to be a nuisance. I may have no choice but to distance myself and find a place to land."

Flying at full speed, the Beanish royal managed to outpace his pursuers, but before he could begin his descent, a strange headwind surround him from all directions. Though he was in little danger of falling off the magic platform, he raised a hand to protect his face from the hurricane force winds.

"What is this!?" he exclaimed through grit teeth.

A large number of small yellowish clouds appeared out of nowhere, circling him like a pack of wolves before coming to an abrupt halt. Gravitating towards one location, they formed together into one much larger cloud, the shape sprouting arms and a large evil grin. It's pupilless red eyes blinked once before glowing with malice, a creepy low-pitched laughter sending chills down the prince's spine.

"Good job boys, you chased him right into my trap!" the cloud beast declared, the two Lakitus popping up behind him.

"No problem Master Huff 'n Puff..." Lakithunder straightened his sunglasses, using a lightning bolt to knock out the Beanish Prince.

King Lakitu retrieved the prisoner, allowing the cloud monster to release him. "We'll have to ask Motley how he screwed up so badly."

"Stinks to be him, I guess. King Bowser will certainly reward us greatly for our success." Huff 'n Puff laughed again, the Koopas joining in shortly thereafter.


-Later On- Diamond City

Far away from the quiet Mushroom Kingdom stands a sparkling city whose urban majesty rivaled the likes of the New Donk. Diamond City was one of the rare places in Mushroom World where humans were the dominant race. Palm trees, sunny weather, and wild parties gave the locale a similar feeling to that of Isle Delfino, but the bustling streets were also home to some of the most successful businesses found anywhere, making it much more than a tourist attraction.

Sitting on a large cliff on the edge of the city was a building bearing a stylized 'W' symbol, housing the headquarters of the famous gaming company, WarioWare Inc. Owned and operated by Mario's old nemesis, Wario had spent a good deal of his treasure-hunting fortune to get the business going. The colorful decor and cheerful atmosphere were a far cry from his days as a villain, and lately the profits were so lucrative that he hadn't gone pillaging in quite some time.

Several game developers were busy working on their computers while a handful of the older employees were holding a meeting upstairs in Wario's office. They were currently gathered around a table, chatting amongst themselves while their 'boss' lay facedown on his desk, a large snot bubble growing and shrinking to the rhythm of his snoring. Standing in front of a large monitor was Dr. Crygor, a mustached cyborg with mechanical limbs and a helmet-like visor with a glowing robotic eye.

"I guarantee we'll see an increase in micro game sales if we go with my plan." the scientist pointed to the onscreen chart.

Sitting across from him was a young lady with blue eyes and long red hair. She wore a short cut red dress that revealed her legs and a pair of matching boots with a white lab coat draped loosely over her shoulders. Having done odd jobs around town in her high school days, Mona had cycled through many careers over the course of a few years.

"You keep saying that, but I don't see how having a company mascot would make a difference."

Dr. Crygor brought another image up. "This is the perfect opportunity to show off my newest invention. I call it the Super Animal Mixer Upper System... Or SAMUS for short!"

The fourth member of their group was a small boy named 9-Volt, his clothing consisting of a jumpsuit and a yellow construction helmet with a clear visor. "Awesome idea, Doc! naming it after one of my favorite retro game characters!"

"You always did like the old school." the group's sole female nudged the boy playfully.

"Yo-yo! Looks like the Doc's pullin' out another bizarro gadget." replied another bizarre-looking man. Wearing a pink disco suit and dark sunglasses, Jimmy T. looked more like a dancer than a game creator. "What's that thing even do?"

9-Volt leaned forward excitedly. "Ooh! If it gets me out of doing my homework, I wouldn't mind borrowing it! Wish we had a class about videogames, then maybe I'd wanna stay awake for it."

"I'm no expert, but maybe school wouldn't be so difficult if you actually paid attention once and a while." Mona raised an eyebrow playfully. "Better start hitting the books! Trust me, you don't want to fail a class so early on."

"Ooooh, don't tell me! Did you flunk Elementary School, too?"

"Wait... What!? No!" She balked, her cheeks turning red as the others began snickering. "Everyone has a little trouble in school, but it's not like I was held back a year."

"Tell me about it, little dude... Goin' ta school was more painful than a broken leg on the dance floor." The disco enthusiast pointed his thumb at the mad scientist. "Maybe this guy can invent some kinda doodad ta make ya smarter."

Dr. Crygor glanced at the boy. "Alas, I fear such a feat would be beyond even my genius." the group shared a quick laugh, but were interrupted by a familiar series of grunts.

Wario shot up, causing the snot bubble in his nose to pop. "What did I miss?"

"Nothing productive, that's for certain." the scientist responded, now realizing just how far they had wandered from the meeting's objective.

"Typical that this would happen without my great leadership skills." the plumber boasted, earning a sigh from his friends. "C'mon you lazy bums! What do ya think I'm paying ya for!?"

Mona resisted the urge to roll her eyes. "Oh please... You never pay us!"

"And I never will if you slackers don't find a way to boost the profit margin at least 200% by next year!"

The group let out a collective groan in response to this. Dr. Crygor saw the company's business as a good excuse for testing out his weird inventions, though the others were still hoping to be compensated some day. Jimmy T. had been friends with the boss for years, and even he didn't get anything for helping out. Mona sincerely enjoyed spending time with Wario, but helping design videogames and working about ten other jobs on the side made her work at WarioWare look more like a labor of love.

Dr. Crygor cleared his throat loudly. "Back to the topic at hand!" he gestured to the model on the screen. "What we need to increase sales is a unique mascot for the company... Something so different that people won't be able to ignore it!"

"And what's wrong with using me?" Wario tapped a gloved hand on the table while picking his nose with the other.

"According to some recent polling done by Orbulon and some guys in our marketing department: Your face scares small children, and most Toads." the scientist remarked.

"What a load of horse droppings! Maybe my handsome visage is just too gorgeous for normal people to appreciate!"

9-Volt laughed. "Half the kids in my history class say your the ugliest guy in town."

"Who asked you!?" two bursts of steam humorously shot out of Wario's nostrils. This earned a giggle from Mona.

"Don't let it bother you. You're one of the few guys I know who practically ooze fashion!" She felt better seeing his smirk at her comment. Hearing a beeping noise, she quickly glanced at her smartphone, alerting her of several other engagements for the afternoon. "Right then, so what were you saying about getting a new mascot?"

"Glad you asked!" the doctor looked as if he were suddenly excited. "All we need to do is put a bunch of random animals in my Super Animal Mixer Upper System and turn it on. The machine will randomly combine them all into one creature!"

Wario sat up straighter, though he looked more annoyed than anything else. "So instead of my face, you wanna put some freak of science on the company's logo? That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard!"

Crygor rubbed his hands together with and insane smile. "Just think of the possibilities... Our mascot would be one-of-a-kind, super unique, and oh so fascinating! A monkey with the body of a dog, or maybe a lion with fins instead of feet!"

The others began grumbling about the sheer absurdity of the suggestion. The scientist's inventions were usually harmless, if not a little bizarre. They were used to dealing with his antics, though he hadn't sounded this crazy in a while.

"You ever stop and think this might not be what the animals want!?" Mona berated him, the others falling silent. Due to the number of pets she owned, it was no secret that she had a deep love of animals. "Why don't we stick you in that machine and see what happens?"

"Don't be silly... It's doesn't work on people." he replied with a shrug.

She clenched her fists, though this did not go unnoticed by Wario, who decided to end this as farce quickly as possible. "All right, guys! Everyone who agrees with Dr. Looney-Pants, please raise your hand." When only Crygor did so, he continued. "Now, all opposed..." Everyone else quickly did so. "Hyeh... Looks like your idea just went down the toilet."

"You know! With a little bit of time and funding, I could reconfigure the SAMUS to..."

"Put a sock in it! Sheesh, and you people wonder why I sleep through these meetings." Wario casually wiped his booger-picking finger on the man's lab coat, earning a disgusted grimace, but no further argument from their resident genius. "The rest of you... Go home!"

Mona exhaled slowly. "Well that's a relief. I have a new job interview in half an hour."

"Yeah! I got a gig at the Sugar Club tonight, yo! Gotta go home and find my groove before tearin' up the dance floor!" Wally T. practically ran for the exit only to end up crushed as the door came flying open. "Oof! Where's the fire, dude?"

"What in blazes are you doin' here!?" the CEO practically jumped out of his chair in surprise. The uninvited visitor was none other than his best friend and partner-in-crime, Waluigi.

"I came to town for a visit and overheard some goons in town talking about ya. Sounded like they wanted a good scrap, so I knocked um down and laid 'em out."

Wario chuckled evilly. "Here's hoping it was those bill collectors I've been tryin' ta ditch."

"Bill collectors!?" Mona glanced between the two men, looking lost for words at the sudden intrusion.

"I ain't joking!" The lanky plumber ignored the looks he was getting from the WarioWare employees. He had only seen them a handful of times at parties, and didn't much care. "Turns out there's a bunch of these guys, and they're heading over here right now!"

"Just what do these guys look like?" Wario paused as a loud rumbling filled his ears. Seconds later, the light from the sun flooded in from above their heads, the rood of the building having been ripped clean off.

"What is that!?" 9-Volt practically jumped five feet in the air.

The others gasped in horror at the giant figure staring down at them, it's hideous face and mangled features exuding a sense of pure dread. Mona and 9-Volt bolted for the exit, only to find a large hand blocking their way. The monster reached down to grab them, but Waluigi kicked his hand away, allowing them to duck through the door.

Wally T. stood back up, his knees instinctively quivering in fear. "Oh man, dat's one ugly clown." he screamed before breaking into a run.

The monster formed a fist with his gigantic yellow gloved hand and attempted to crush the disco dancer, Wario punched it away. "Keep your dirty mitts off my pals!"

Doctor Crygor ran past him. "I just remembered... I've got a hair appointment on the other side of the city!"

"You don't even have hair!" Wario grumbled as he watched the others flee. He looked up at the demonic clown and smirked. "Come back for another beating, big nose!?"

Rudy the Clown bore down on the greedy plumbers, his large lips peeling aside to reveal razor sharp teeth. "To think you actually have the capacity to care about other people. Perhaps I should chase down those weakling humans you seem so attached to? It would bring me great pleasure to destroy something precious to you!"

The treasure hunter grit his teeth angrily. If someone had told him years ago that he could ever care about other people so much, he probably would've pounded them without mercy. Back then he never imagined having so many good friends. Thinking back on those times made him wonder just how much he had changed in such a short amount of time.

"I'm gonna enjoy knocking those teeth out!" the Master of Greed glanced over at his best friend. "You ready for this, pal!?"

Waluigi responded with an identical grin. "Like you even needed to ask."

"Two of my targets in one place... How very convenient." The demonic clown detached both hands from his wrists and brought his fists down repeatedly in a pounding motion, destroying more of the building with each swing while the devious duo danced around his swings.

"You're even lamer than before!' Wario let out a low-pitched laugh. "My grandmother's got better aim than you!"

"Does she, now? In a few moments you fools won't have any place left to run!" Rudy began smashing the ground, giving them very little room to maneuver.

Waluigi surveyed the damage with a shrug. "You think we're afraid of some lame holes in the floor?" the plumber's smug expression wavered as he looked through towards the ground floor. "Yikes! What the heck did you do!?"

They noticed what appeared to be dozens of Piranha Plants growing out of a thick brown ooze which appeared to have flooded the lower level. Wario saw a gigantic shape move through the goop followed by a loud rumbling beneath his feet, the rotund antihero diving out of the way as a set of jaws ripped straight through the place he had been standing a second ago. Rising into the air, the new interloper revealed itself to be a dinosaur-sized Piranha Plant with a giant head surrounded by a mane of yellow flower petals, and a disproportionately small body with leaf-like arms that it was apparently using to fly.

Wario squinted his beady eyes and blinked before vaguely recognizing his new attacker. "Petey Piranha!? What's he doing here?"

The purple-clad plumber grabbed a nearby desk and hurled it at the mutant plant with all the strength he could muster, but Rudy swatted it aside before it could hit. Petey gnashed its jaws menacingly as it caught sight of the duo, swiftly regurgitating a geyser of toxic goop in their direction. Caught up in the disgusting tide, they were swept through a hole in the floor of Wario's office, and into the den of carnivorous plants below.

"Yowch!" Waluigi tore an angry Piranha Plant from his posterior. It chomped at him before being tossed onto the ground and stomped on. Kicking a few more out of his way, he shuffled through the goop to reach his friend, yanking him to his feet with one hand. "Man this stinks!"

Wario spit out the goop that gotten in his mouth. "Tastes like rotten eggs soaked in vinegar!" he casually farted in the direction of a nearby enemy, laughing as he watched it pass out. "Of course, I can think of some worse things..."

"Enough of the nasty stuff, ya greedy tub. We've got some serious butt-kicking to do!"

The two men waded through the goop and rammed the front door open, spilling the disgusting mess out into the streets as they barreled on through. It was a sunny day in Diamond City from the looks of things, though the view would've been much nicer without the two giant monsters waiting to greet them.

"Back so soon, boys?" Rudy towered over them with a vicious grin while Petey Piranha flew in a circle overhead.

The hideous demon's fifteen-foot frame loomed overhead as he raised his leg, the antiheroes running a circle around him before breaking into a sprint. He began chasing them, trying to crush them beneath with his feet while he thundered after them like a savage troll. Detaching both of his hands, Rudy began swatting at his prey in an attempt to hamper their escape. Despite having stout legs and a bulky frame, the greedy treasure hunter was a deceptively fast runner. With his long legs and conditioning from playing sports, Waluigi was even faster.

Rudy grew bored with the chase, a large vein throbbing on his forehead in annoyance. "Do something, you overgrown fichus!" he bellowed towards the sky.

Petey Piranha tilted its head sideways to get a better view before dive-bombing the two plumbers, spraying a ton of goop everywhere as they attempted to flee. The monstrous plant easily outpaced them with its flying ability before dropping a particularly large ball of goop into their path. Losing control of his long-limbs due to the reduced friction, Waluigi went sliding forwards into his best friend, causing them both to crash face-first into the street.

"You moron! What was that for!?" Wario struggled to push the lanky man off of him only for both of them to be grabbed from behind by the clown's gigantic hands. "Waaaaaaahhhhhhh!"

Waluigi coughed as he felt the air being pushed from his lungs. "Gah, back off you ugly pile of dog droppings..."

"Not so tough now, are you?" their captor's bulging eyes swept back and forth between his victims. His gaze stopped on Wario, who immediately began struggling even more, prompting him to tighten his grip. "Consider this payback for foiling my plans in the Music Box World."

"Put me down, so I can mess up your face even more!"

"Do not worry, I have no intention of letting the fun so soon. It will be much more satisfying to watch you suffer for an eternity."

"What!?" Waluigi gasped with a mingled look of anger and surprise.

"An associate of mine came up with the idea... And I found it much more appealing than simply ending things right here and now."

Rudy held up the two antiheroes so that they were facing the sky, giving them a good view of Bowser's approaching Airships Armada. At least three of the Koopa Kingdom's flying galleons were heading towards their position. The sound of beating propellers grew closer by the minute, though somewhere in the background, Wario heard an oddly familiar sound.

"Wario, I'm here!" a familiar voice echoed through the din, catching everyone else by surprise.

"Mona!?" the greedy adventurer's eyes nearly popped out of his head as the redheaded girl zipped past on her motorized scooter.

"Pesky little insect." Rudy cast an irritated look downwards and attempted to stomp on the human girl, but she skillfully dodged by zipping behind him and driving between his legs.

"Are you nuts!? What're you doin' back here!" Wario screamed at the top of his lungs.

"Oh, I'm not staying... Just came to make a delivery." She tossed a small object into the air, causing it to land in her employer's mouth.

Giving him a confident wink, she quickly sped away from the battle as fast as possible. Petey Piranha responded by spitting several balls of goop, but Mona swerved back and forth, effortlessly dodging them without a single drop on her clothes.

Confused by her prompt appearance and sudden retreat, Rudy was caught off guard by a sharp pain in his right hand. He noticed too late that Wario had somehow managed to pry his fingers open. Jumping as high as he could, the Master of Greed performed a ground pound onto the clown's empty hand, breaking several of his fingers in the process. Flipping through the air like an acrobat, he kicked the villain's left hand, weakening his grip on Waluigi just enough for him to slide out of the clown's grasp.

"What did you do!?" Rudy shook his injured hands with a groan, two red bulbous eyes gravitating towards the source of the pain.

Waluigi looked his friend over and frowned. "I ain't ungrateful for the save, but what the flip are you wearin'?"

The antihero stood dressed in pink pajamas with a large blue 'W' on his chest, and a matching cape trailing from his shoulders, his face hidden behind a purple cowl with eyeholes. Taking a good look at him left the others even more confused, while Wario himself seemed quite confident despite looking as if he fell out of an old clothes hamper.

He flexed his muscles proudly. "Ya-duh-duh-DAH! Stouter than an iron burrito... Studlier than a snow tire... I am... Wario-Man!"

"Oh yeah, I remember now." his best friend pressed a finger to his forehead in exasperation, before laughing. "All of this from eating bad garlic."

"You look ridiculous." Rudy responded smugly, only to receive a punch in the nose from the newly powered-up plumber. He stumbled backwards, grasping his face in agony. "So, you're faster and stronger now... How is this even possible!?"

Wario beat his chest proudly. "You'd be surprised what some genetically engineered garlic can do to a man's metabolism! Now are we gonna do this the easy way or the hard way?"

Don't give 'em the courtesy!" Waluigi screamed as he broke into a charge.

The stout plumber instinctively held out both hands out so that Waluigi could use him as a springboard, propelling his best friend high into the air. The purple-clad man landed roughly on Petey Piranha's back, causing the creature to balk in shock. He grappled with the mutant plant in mid-air, the beast too confused to respond. Unable to flap his arms, the monster went spiraling headfirst towards the ground. Waluigi let go seconds before they hit the ground, letting out a triumphant laugh as his opponent smashed into the asphalt and passed out in the street.

"Waluigi is number one!" he boasted, doing a victory pose atop his defeated opponent.

Having received another punch in the face from the new and improved Wario-Man, the demon clown found himself on the defensive, using his injured hands to shield himself from his opponent's enhanced abilities. The sheer speed of the attacks made it difficult for Rudy to strike back without leaving himself wide open. Performing a wall jump off of a nearby building, Wario began rapidly punching the air, his bizarre movements delaying his fall as he launched himself into the villain's vulnerable face. His barrage of blows caused his opponent to topple over backwards.

Wario landed on both feet and began shaking out his cape like a superhero. "Gonna run away, or do I gotta pound you into hamburger meat, first?"

Rudy sat back up, looking ragged from the fight, but angrier than humanly possible. His dingy green skin had turned a bright red color matching his nose, and his eyes were practically burning with fury. He stomped towards Wario, stumbling slightly in pain before letting out an angry roar.

"Well aren't you guys in a sorry state?" a hoarse, wizened voice called out from above. Kamek descended on his broom, glancing back and forth between the clown's sorry state and Petey Piranha's unconscious body.

"It's about time you arrived!" Rudy glared at the wizard, who paid him little mind.

"I figured you could handle these two Mario Bros. knockoffs." he griped, earning a murderous look from the demon. "Why do I always have to do everything myself?" the elderly Magikoopa raised his wand, bathing the area in a shower of magical light and fairy dust.

The two plumbers exchanged confused murmurs, their ignorance turning to surprise as Rudy's injuries disappeared. Waluigi heard an unsettling screech behind them, turning around with a gasp as Petey Piranha leapt to its feet, seemingly rejuvenated. Standing back-to-back, they prepared to resume the battle, but the airships from before were now circling above them.

"Just what we need right now!" Waluigi grunted, wiping a bead of sweat from his forehead.

Two more enemies leapt from the flying galleons and joined the fight. The new fighters consisted of what appeared to be a Koopa Troopa wearing a pharaoh outfit, and a house-sized blue Armadillo whose thick shell was seemingly made out of solid rock.

"Looks like your luck's run out, fellas... Meet Tutankoopa and Rollodillo!" Kamek gestured to each before flying higher. "Hope you lowlifes enjoy beatings, cause there's no getting out of this in one piece!"

"Go get 'em, Chompy!" Tutankoopa summoned a Chain Chomp using his magic.

"Gimme a break!" Wario-Man punched the giant creature between the eyes, stunning it.

He leapt behind it, grabbing the chain and spinning the beast around in circles like a flail before tossing it into Rudy's leg, causing the monster to bite him by accident. Petey Piranha flew into the air and tunneled into the ground, emerging right between Waluigi's feet in an attempt to swallow him whole, but he leapt sideways and grabbed Tutankoopa by the leg, tossing him into the beast's open mouth. The plant gagged once before regurgitating its meal, leaving the dazed Koopa Troopa soaked in goop.

"He must've gave the poor thing indigestion." Waluigi laughed, his smile dying as the gigantic rock armadillo barreled into him from behind. "Ouch!"

Rollodillo unfurled its body and raised a giant paw to smash its prey, but was seized from behind by Wario, who with some major effort, managed to toss the gargantuan beast a short distance away. The greedy antihero reached out to help his friend, only to collide with Rudy's giant hand. The clown recoiled his hand as he stood over the duo, instead raising his foot again to stomp them into the ground, but found himself unable to push down.

Wario-Man grabbed the clown's giant shoe from beneath and pushed, toppling the giant demon once more. "Wahahahah! As if you morons would ever be a match for a genius like me!"

Kamek shook his head in disapproval as he watched the others lose, before blasting the demon clown with his magic, causing Rudy to grow at least three times his original size in a matter of seconds. Standing up to his full height, he was over twice the size of Wario's office building, his gargantuan shadow now draping the battlefield in darkness. Wario instinctively backed away, though he quickly stopped, chiding himself for being a coward.

"The bigger they are, the harder they..."Wario's words were interrupted by an odd sensation. It took him a second to realize that his clothes had returned to normal. "Well, this stinks..."

Feeling Rollodillo's heavy breath caress him from behind, he now realized that the other bad guys had surrounded him on all sides. With no other choice, Wario broke into a frantic run, sliding past Petey Piranha as he grabbed Waluigi and fled into a nearby grove of trees. The injured man awoke with a start, none-to-pleased with being tossed around and carried like an old sack.

"Hey dummy! Can't you run any faster!?" the purple-clad man shouted from over his shoulder.

"Maybe without the dead weight!" he shot back irritably, his feet coming to a screeching halt as several Muncher Plants sprung from the nearby bushes.

Waluigi had an affinity for growing Piranha Plants and was well aware of the dangers they posed. Black-colored Munchers were known to for being tougher than their more common cousins, and looking around the grove, it seemed as though they had been summoned for the sole purpose of trapping them inside. Hard to grow and nearly impossible to kill without extreme force or powerful magic.

"Good job, stupid! Now what are we gonna do!?"

"Aw, nuts!" Wario grit his teeth as he remembered they were also dealing with Bowser's number one Magikoopa. Summoning powerful enemies was a cinch for the old wizard, "Uh-oh!"

"What now!?" The looked up in horror only to be flattened by Rudy's disembodied hand a second later.


"Phew, wasn't expecting that weird Wario-Man thing." Captain Goomba let out a small sigh before finally looking to his master for input. "At least we managed to get the job done, right Lord Bowser?"

The Koopa King guzzled down some Super Soda handed to him by a Boo waiter. "I thought you morons knew what you were doing!" the Koopa King crushed the can into an unrecognizable disk, causing his servers to flee in terror.

"It doesn't appear that Wario's enemies were aware of this new technique he developed." Ludwig surmised, stroking his thick muzzle. "Difficulties were to be expected, considering those two muscle-headed doofuses are physically stronger than the Mario Bros."

Captain Goomba nodded. "Don't worry about it, sir... Master Kamek is awesome! There's no way he couldn't deal with the situation."

Kammy Koopa shrugged. "I always considered him a major disappointment growing up. At least we know he's not entirely useless."

"Unlike some crusty old hag I could mention!" their leader laughed, earning a chuckle from his other minions.

The elderly Magikoopa gave him a look of concern. "Well whoever she is, we better fire her before things get out of hand. We don't have room in the army for someone who could be a major liability to its operations." she replied, causing Bowser to smack his forehead and groan.


-Meanwhile- Donkey Kong Island

"This whole situation is completely bananas, and not in a good way!" Diddy Kong screamed as he ran through the burning forests, his girlfriend following closely behind.

Dixie yelped as she slid out of the path of a falling tree branch. "Why's the island suddenly under attack by dragons!?"

"I dunno... Maybe they're relatives of that pesky dragonfly I stomped on a while ago."

"Don't be such a doofus. This isn't really the time for jokes, y'know!"

"It wasn't kidding. As it turned out, the pesky little bug was actually related to a real dragon: A fire-breathing menace named Dogadon who worked for King K. Rool. He would've toasted my rump good it weren't for those TNT barrels laying around. Ya might say the flying fool went out with a bang!"

Having been on several adventures with her friends, the female Kong knew better than to ask too many questions. One thing she learned from fighting bad guys was to expect the unexpected, and sometimes things didn't make sense, even if you were there to see it. Running through the jungle while being chased by a crazy-eyed dragon made Diddy's story seem perfectly within the realm of normalcy.

"Hey look, I see an exit!" she pointed forward unnecessarily, the two leaping over a fallen log and into the clearing beyond.

The duo stepped out into the open and onto the beach where many of their friends had already gathered. With the trees burning behind them, many of the island's residents had gathered near sources of water for safety. This had resulted in a small gathering near the ocean, beside Funky's old flight surfer shack.

Dixie's younger sister Tiny stood with her hands behind her head, a look of concern etched on her face. Tiny Kong had been smaller than her sister in her younger years before a growth spurt left her taller than Princess Peach. She wore baggy blue sweatpants and a matching top bearing her midriff, and her hair was styled into thick blonde pigtails.

"Sis!" Tiny ran forward to meet the duo, wrapping them both in a bone-crushing hug. "I'm so happy to see you guys are all right."

Candy Kong and Lanky Kong quickly joined in the reunion. The first was a female standing slightly taller than Tiny, though with a pronounced hourglass figure, and long blonde hair worn down over her shoulders. Behind her was an ape taller than Diddy, though he resembled an orangutan with bright orange fur and long arms.

"Where's Donkey Kong?" Candy placed her hands on Diddy's shoulder and urgently shook him.

"I... I... dunno!" he stammered, prompting her to turn him loose. "I wasn't with him when those monsters appeared. Dixie and I were out on a date, and the next thing we knew, the entire place was on fire!"

Lanky leaned forward using his arms instead of his feet as support. "What about Funky!?"

"Last time I checked he was showing a pair of Goombas around the island." Dixie replied with a tiny shrug. "He started a business for tourists after building a car out of scrap."

"Well it least it keep him out of trouble. Though I don't know why he bothered closing the flight business." the orangutan replied.

"Well its about time he found use for all that junk laying around his backyard." Candy agreed before realizing just how impractical they were being. "We don't have time for this! What are we going to do about that" she pointed towards the sky.

The group looked solemn, not noticing that Diddy was busy rummaging through a pile of stuff Funky left behind in his old hangout. Tossing aside a surfboard, an outdated speaker, numerous failed inventions, and a pile of rotting coconuts; he found a small barrel device outfitted with backpack straps and a decorative wing.

"Yeehaw! I finally found it!" exclaimed the small primate.

Dixie ran towards the shack, the others following closely behind. "What did you find?"

"My old Rocketbarrel Boost! I lent it to Funky so he could repair the jets, but never picked it up after he was finished." he strapped the jetpack on, causing a pair of rockets to slide out of the underside. "Time for me to show those lizards what happens when they mess with our island!"

"In the meantime, what are we supposed to do!?" Tiny reached out to stop him, only to receive a face full of rocket exhaust.

Diddy tempered the output, allowing him to float in mid-air. "Just find a way to put out the fire while I keep those monsters busy!" he called back before rocketing away.

Dixie exchanged looks with her sister and the others. "What are you guys waiting for!? Let's douse this fire and find a way to save everyone! You with me!?"

The other Kongs punched their fists in the air with a cheer, though the awkward silence that followed was disheartening. "Um, so how do ya suppose we go about doing that?" Lanky was quick to point out.

"Good point. We can't just run into the jungle to look for our friends." Candy placed a hand on her hip, and leaned to the side. "Not only would it not help, but we'd end up putting ourselves in danger, too!"

"I think it's already too late to avoid that." Dixie looked towards the horizon at a trio of airships approaching them from above the burning trees.

While they prepared to deal with the fleet, Diddy had already flown into range of one of a lazy-eyed serpentine dragon with an large maw, swirly green scales, and yellow spots. Too busy spewing fireballs into the air, it seemed not to have noticed his presence. Rocketing around the creatures backside, he drew a pair of wooden popguns and prepared to open fire, but was distracted by the presence of a miniature airship speeding towards him.

The Kong flew higher to avoid collision, looking surprised when he saw the pilot. "Hey, aren't you Bowser's son!?"

"Yup, that's me!" Bowser Jr. jumped up and down with a childlike joy before baring his fangs.

"Did ya hold the map upside down, cause this isn't the Mushroom Kingdom!"

"Nope, I'm exactly where my dad told me to go. Pop said to turn Donkey Kong Island into a pile of ash so we could collect something super important once the place is reduced to rubble."

Diddy frowned, looking both confused and angry at the same time. "That's nuts! What did you come all the way over here for!?"

"You!" the Koopa Prince declared gleefully. "That's assuming you harebrained baboons even survive this!"

The crew of Hammer Bros. on board ran below to man their stations, sliding several cannons through the portholes and opening fire. In a matter of seconds, the sky was filled with swarms of Bullet Bills. Holding fast, the gutsy Kong began firing peanuts from his twin pistols, causing several Bullet Bills to explode before they could even move within range, but he was quickly outpaced, prompting a tactical retreat.

"Oh crud, this just isn't my day..." Diddy rocketed away, closely followed by several living projectiles. He fired his popguns over his shoulders to hamper their pursuit before veering away, finally shaking the assault. "Yikes, that was a close one!"

Bowser Jr. stomped the deck angrily, smirking as he pulled out a megaphone. "Oy Gobblegut, it's dinner time!"

The green dragon turned its head upon recognizing the order, large bulbous eyes settling on the flying Kong. With a bestial roar, Gobblegut opened its mouth and began flying towards Diddy at full speed, gnashing its teeth hungrily as it attempted to catch up.

"What the... ... Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!" the plucky primate began weaving back and forth in mid-air, barely escaping the creature's giant maw. The beast chomped down but was interrupted by an explosion.

Diddy turned in midair to see the monster recoiled in pain, smoke wafting from a scorched spot on its snake-like body. Flying circles around the monster was a two-person airplane made out of wooden barrels, the tail of which was equipped with an odd-looking device.

"No worries, Diddy dude... We got your back!" Funky screamed from the cockpit.

"Glad to see you're not hurt." Donkey Kong called from the back seat, taking a moment to reload the cannon. "Like the new barrel launcher? Who would've though those explosives we took from K. Rool's old factory would come in handy!"

The smaller ape excitedly before moving closer to the plane. "Great to see you guys are okay!"

"We'll be even better once I do this!" he fired several more bombs at the dragon, the painful explosions causing it to lose control mid-flight before falling back towards the forest below.

"Copasetic DK dude, but we ain't oughta the woods yet. "Funky glanced down at the burning forest and hung his head low. "Man, dis negative stuff is really bummin' me out big time."

Donkey Kong ignored his pilot friend. "What about Lanky and the girls? Have you seen them yet?"

"They were at the beach near Funky's old surf shack when I left. What about you? Did ya find Cranky and the others, yet?"

"My old man got out just fine. Kiddy's home with his mother in the Northern Kremisphere, and Chunky went on vacation and still hasn't come back yet."

"Good to hear!" Diddy let out a sigh of relief before being forced to dodge another Bullet Bill. "Oh yeah, the little guy's still here."

"Dang, so close! And who you callin' little!?" Bowser Jr. shook his fist angrily, his airship moving back within range of the targets. He looked down at the dragon, who was now moaning in pain on the ground hundreds of feet below. "Get up, or daddy's gonna hear about this!"

As if hearing his words, Gobblegut took flight again, making a beeline for Diddy once more. The Kong's leader prepared to fire the cannon again, but a Golden Bullet Bull appeared out of nowhere, colliding with the launcher, and reducing it to splinters.

DK nearly jumped out of his seat. "Yikes! I've never seen one move that fast before."

"Bombshell Bills are one of my favorites... But I like these too." the reptilian prince fired off a series of red Bull's-Eye Bills, which immediately gravitated towards the apes like homing missiles. "Don't bother running, cause these little babies can find you anywhere!"

Diddy broke from his battle with the dragon and picked several off with his popguns, veering so that the remaining missiles would hit Gobblegut. The beast snorted fire angrily at being struck again and lashed out with renewed vigor, but the small Kong rocketed circles around its head. The oddly humorous chase left the dragon's serpentine body tangled in a large knot, rendering him unable to stay airborne any longer. Gobblegut glanced around cluelessly and grunted before falling a second time, thrashing and roaring on the forest floor.

"Useless lizard with his infernal bellyaches. I'll cobble his hide into a pair of boots once this is over!" Bowser Jr. somersaulted across deck to avoid a popgun barrage. "No fair!"

Diddy closed the distance with his jetpack. "Time's up junior!"

"Hehehehe... I'd be more worried about your friends! Go get 'em, Cookatiel!" the young Koopa danced back and forth.

Funky's plane was now being pursued by a giant pink bird with loopy eyes and a chef's hat. Even stranger, the flying menace was spewing what appeared to be pink lava.

"And here I thought I'd seen everything... Now there's a lava-spewing, flying chicken!" Diddy broke off from his fight with Bowser Jr. to help, instead meeting eyes with a very familiar enemy.

Hovering behind him was Dogadon, King K. Rool's large dragon pet he had defeated years ago. The beast looked like the combination of an bug and lizard. A lines of spikes ran down the back of his wasp-shaped body and dragon's tail, a pair of elongated insectoid wings protruding from his back. He let out a roar before he launching himself at the miniscule Kong.

"Long time, runt!" Dogadon shouted, giant fireballs spewing from his rounded snout.

Diddy swerved away, breaking into a hasty retreat. "Apparent not long enough!"

As the battle in the sky continued, the remaining Kongs were having troubles of their own. Standing back-to-back, the apes were currently facing off a large hoard of enemies disembarking from a pair of Koopa Troop Airships hovering overhead. Goombas, Shy Guys, and football-playing Chargin' Chucks were parachuting down from above, their numbers growing with each passing minute.

"Oplah!" Lanky spun around flailing his long arms, knocking off the helmets off of three enemies. They attempted to tackle him, but the orangutan flipped on his head and grabbed their ankles before tossing them away. "Having fun, guys?"

"Just dandy." Tiny stomped on a nearby Goomba to increase the height of her jump, landing square on the head of a Shy Guy.

Dixie performed a full-body roll into a row of Shy Guys, sending them scattering like bowling pins. "Never been better." she remarked sarcastically.

While the trio continued fighting off the advancing Koopa Troop, Candy Kong remained crouched down on the floor of Funky's shack. Being the only non-fighter of the group, she would probably just get in the way of the action. A Chargin' Chuck stepped through the door of the cabin only to be honked in the face with a trumpet and smashed over the head with a large purse. Candy dumped the contents of her bag onto the football player's head, revealing a bowling ball.

"Good shot, girl!" Dixie called over her shoulder before running back towards the fray.

"I'll never complain about Funky's junk ever again." she mused.


-Meanwhile- Yoshi's Island

Yoshi Village was a peaceful place nestled amidst a tropical forest on a small island off the coast of Dinosaur Land. With thatched roofs and bamboo buildings, once might think that the Yoshis themselves were a primitive and isolated race, but since meeting the Mario Bros. many years ago, they had become much more social to the outside world.

Tourists from all over flocked to the paradise every year to learn about the locals and enjoy its natural beauty. In addition, many of the sapient dinosaurs had even moved to other lands, settling in placed like Isle Delfino and the Beanbean Kingdom. Mario's good friend and longtime battle buddy, a green dinosaur simply named Yoshi, even had a house in the Mushroom Kingdom where he spent most summers hanging out with his friends.

Due to his strength and heroism, Yoshi had become the island's champion, a title only contested by a sunglasses-wearing blue Yoshi called Boshi. Standing around the village square were a series of nearly identical creatures of many different colors. Red, Orange, Yellow, Blue, Black, Gray, White, Purple, Turquoise, Indigo, Brown, and everything in between. Due to the hostile intruders that had recent shown up, the dinosaurs were currently rallying together around their leader.

Standing at the head of the group was a fat, aged Yoshi wearing a feathered headband, simply referred to as the village elder. "Remember my children... No one will ever bring harm to this island so long as we stand together!"

"All right guys, let's show 'em who's boss!" Yoshi raised a fist in the air, garnering a cheer from his people.

Several miles away, the Koopa Troop had set up their own base of operations in the surrounding jungles. They were camped in a clearing littered with military tents and a handful of Toy Tanks with General Guy standing atop the largest. The Shy Guy commander had been tasked with capturing the island to prevent the meddlesome dinosaurs from interfering in their master's plans.

Much like the Kong Family from the DK Isles, the Yoshis were deemed a high level threat to the success of their operations, and thus a sufficiently large military force was sent to attack the island.

"Careful with that equipment, solder!" he barked at a pair of troops carrying Bill Blasters on their heads. "We don't need any accidents like last time."

Boom Guys occassionally had the habit of blowing themselves up due to misfires and lack of proper training. Not to mention, they also had a habit of panicking if their Bill Blaster was stolen or destroyed by the enemy, resulting in disastrous results in battle.

A propeller-headed Fly Guy descended from the nearby tree. "We have some important news to report, sir!" he gave his superior a stalwart salute.

"Well don't just stand there like some gargle-headed Goomba! Just spit it out!"

"It would seem the Yoshis are aware of our presence on the island. They're gathering together in large numbers right now in preparation of our attack."

General Guy adjusted his hat before shuffling over to the radio. "This may work to our advantage." he reached to the mouthpiece before opening the channel.

Back in Yoshi Village, a trio of camouflage-pattered Spy Guys watched the gathering from a safe distance. Wearing crowns of leaves on their heads to blend in with nature, the covertly trained Spy Guys served as espionage troops specializing in ambush and disguise. Naturally, this special stealth unit had been sent as advance scouts. Crouching down amidst the bushes, one of them was using a listening device to eavesdrop, his companions watching through binoculars.

The troop leader heard the familiar crackle of static in his communicator. "Spy Guy to base camp...

"This is your commanding officer. What is the status of our enemy's ranks?" the general questioned.

"It would appear the targets have gathered together in one place inside of the village. They're currently holding some kind of meeting in the main square... Would you like us to engage?"

General Guy groaned irritably. "Of course not, you rookie. Wait until the main force arrives, but keep me updated on their position until then. Do not engage until we arrive." he hung up, quietly grumbling to himself.

A green Shy Guy popped up beside him, startling the general. "Shall we begin the attack?"

"Prepare the troops" he nodded in agreement. "If this works out as I've envisioned, we might take win this battle in one fell swoop!"


Note to Readers: Took a while, but here's the next chapter. Low support sort of kills my stories, but I plan on going for another chapter longer before deciding whether or not this is worth continuing. Due to my preference for writing full-length projects, it isn't worth doing it without some appreciation.

Reviews really help, even a "Good job" is a nice reminder that people are enjoying my work. If you want to see a specific character, or if you liked something, please tell me. I've taken requests in the past. This story is NOT pre-written ahead of time, so it's cool when other people want to get involved in the story!


Character Reference Guide

For those who may be unfamiliar with certain characters, especially from the Wario and Donkey Kong series games, I'll drop some notes. Pictures are easy to find using Google Search. For full details check out Super Mario Wiki.

- Lord Fredrik: Leader of the evil Snowmad Tribe from Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze. They use his horn to summon ice dragons and freeze entire lands. The Snowmads were defeated by DK and friends.

- Tatanga: Evil alien conqueror appearing in Super Mario Land and its sequel. Tatanga is the one responsible for kidnapping Princess Daisy in her debut appearance. He worked for Wario briefly in the second game, implying he is a mercenary.

- Mona: A pretty high school student and a worker at WarioWare inc, she works several jobs and is a skilled moped rider. Has a love of fashion, and is known for her small crush on Wario, which he seems to reciprocate.

- 9-Volt: Elementary school student who loves classic videogames, he's a Nintendo super-fan and a game designer for Wario's company.

- Dr. Crygor: Maker of bizarre and mostly harmless inventions. He works for WarioWare, and created a machine for designing microgames.

- Jimmy T: Another of Wario's employees, Jimmy is implied to have known him the longest. He has a blue afro and loves disco.

- Rudy the Clown: Clown-like demon who once conquered a magic world inside of a Music Box. Appearing first in Wario Land 4, he was defeated by Wario when the latter pillaged his domain. Rudy later attempted to steal Mario's Megavitamins in Dr. Mario 64.

- Dogadon: King K. Rool's pet dragon from Donkey Kong 64. Acted as the boss of two levels and was defeated by Diddy, and later by Dixie's cousin Chunky.

- Lanky Kong: One of the five playable characters in Donkey Kong 64. A bit of a goofball personality-wise, but his long arms make him a versatile fighter. He reappeared in Donkey Kong Barrel Blast.

- Tiny Kong: Dixie Kong's younger sister, who first appeared in Donkey Kong 64. Also appears in Donkey Kong Barrel Blast and Super Mario Sluggers as a playable character.