[ DISCLAIMER: This chapter contains characters from the anime/manga show RUROUNI KENSHIN. I do NOT own any characters that are used in this chapter. All credit for any characters used/mentioned goes to the creators of Rurouni Kenshin. ]
Loneliness had been all she had ever known. The raven-haired neko had always been alone. Even when Sarai and Kyrro had taken her in, she realized now it'd still been a lonely existence. None of the village children played with her—they refused to, and even those that tried were scolded and sometimes even punished for daring to associate themselves with her. It was like she was a deadly, incurable disease. Kadory wished her parents and clan members had not been cold-heartedly murdered. She could be married, or simply just in love, by now. And best of all, she wouldn't be the only neko in her village. Everyone would be like her; she wouldn't be an outcast. She'd be treated like a normal woman. She could live happily, get married, have children, and watch them grow into the next clan leaders. Everything would fall into place the way the God who created everything planned it.
So why, then, did he make things go like they did? Why did he let her parents be murdered? Why did he let her wander for almost two entire days without the protection, warmth, and satisfaction of food and water? How cruel and merciless could one god be? How come everything had played out the way it had? Kadory was going to forever be persecuted and misjudged and hated, simply because of one physical 'deformity'—and to her, it wasn't even a deformity; it had been normal where she had come from. Rural parts of Japan tended to be the hiding places of the nekos. And the word "hiding" in 'hiding place' is definitely not used loosely. They were hiding from persecution, from impending death, from the outside world. Kadory's clan had been one clan that had not feared men—they had always been prepared for battles, and had often beaten off the men who thought they could play god and destroy the 'unworthy creatures' called nekos.
Labeled and hated. That's all Kadory had ever been, all she ever would be.
But no.
Wait.
Hold on a second.
It wasn't true anymore! She had found someone who had loved her. Yet, Kadory realized with a sudden shock of horror, she'd destroyed it. Take a building block from a relationship off the top, and it can be repaired with apologies and kind gestures. Take one off the bottom…
All of Kadory's relationships worked like that: one step forward, two steps back. She'd always had trouble with people. The only people she ever got along with were Sarai and Kyrro. But in this instance, did her foster parents even count? Of course they loved her. They'd lived with her for eighteen entire years. But everyone else… Everyone else hated her, of course. From the moment the redheaded assassin had almost killed her parents, up until that point, she'd been hated. She always would be hated. Now that she reflected on it, however, Kadory realized how badly she'd screwed up. Kenshin had loved her. So why had Hisoka…?
Kadory knew why. She realized now she'd always known why. He was a power-hungry bastard. That's why. He'd set everything up just to tear it down in the most magnificent of ways. How cruel did one person get? Kadory had always thought gods were merciless and unloving, but when she finally figured Hisoka out, she realized that it obviously wasn't only the gods who acted like stuck-up assholes. Kadory knew she'd never get back what she had. She even remembered… when her mother had talked to her about it. She'd obviously fallen in love and didn't know how to deal with it, but Sarai had always been there for her. With Sarai's help, it had been possible for Kadory to tell Kenshin, eventually, how she felt. Yet it all came crumbling in. Unbearable. Unfixable.
"You've held back your emotions for so long, sweetie," the pepper-haired old woman commented. However, the old woman refused to make eye contact with her adopted daughter. "You've always told me that you don't 'need' anybody other than your father and I. I appreciate your love for us, but you know you don't have to lie to us to make us feel better. In all reality, Kadory, it doesn't make us feel any better—well, it doesn't make me feel any better, at least. I want you to be genuinely happy. I've seen you smile more these days because of that Kenshin boy. He's good for you, Kadory. I can tell you've taken a shine to him."
"Mum, I'd never lie to you and Papa. You know that…"
"You ought to tell him how you feel before it's too late. Good things don't last forever, dear," finally, the blazing-green-eyed woman turned to look Kadory in the eyes. "I would know. I've lost two of my children. It's not anything like this, really… but at the same time it is. You'll lose something you love just like I did, if you don't do something about it."
"But Mum, you couldn't do anything about it! You tried, I'm sure, but you couldn't save them from cholera!"
Sarai blinked a moment. She'd known her adopted daughter could be blunt, but this was blunt enough to the point it was unnecessary. Sarai sighed thickly and closed her eyes, turning her head away. "It was unavoidable," she whispered. "I know I couldn't do anything. That's what makes it more different. That's what makes it harder. But you can prevent yourself from losing this love." With that, the old woman walked away, leaving Kadory in silence, regretting what she'd said.
Kadory shook her head.
"It's true, Mum," she murmured to herself, "It's true. I did…find love. But I didn't do what you told me to do. I let it slip through my fingers, and now I'm paying for it." Kadory sighed and shook her head, keeping oncoming tears at bay. She couldn't cry. She couldn't be weak. She'd lived eighteen years dealing with this, and hiding her emotions. Eighteen years! She wasn't about to throw it away now.
It was over. Done. Finished.
Actions have consequences, and Kadory was finally ready to accept those consequences.
