Disclaimer: I do not, nor will I ever own Naruto or anything affiliated with said show.

"Speaking"

'Thoughts'


Pages of My heart


I'm not sure exactly when it happened, when my feelings for Sakura began to change, but during this past year or so that I've spent training with Jiraiya I've begun to think about her less and less. I guess that's a sign of growing up, leaving childish crushed behind. And yes, I now know that that's all it was, a childish crush. Now, though I care for her as a friend, I no longer wish to be anything more. Strangely enough, once I realized this I felt a lot better. Like a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I guess a part of me always knew it would never work out.

Once I finally stopped daydreaming about Sakura, I noticed that another face seemed to keep popping up in my head, Hinata's. Truthfully, I never imagined that she'd be anything other than a friend, but now my mind just won't stop thinking about her. The way she blushed and stuttered every time she talked to me, her habit of always touching her two fingertips together, and the smiles she'd give me when she thought I wasn't looking. Looking back, I can't believe I never realized how much she liked me, but I was so in awe of Sakura I barely looked at other girls. But that's changed now, and the more I think about it the more I realize that Hinata's the one for me. And now that training's almost over, I can finally go home and tell her how I feel.

I'm too late. I got back yesterday and the first thing I did was go and see Hinata, but she wasn't alone. Kiba was with her, he was holding her hand and pulling her along while they laughed about something together. It's my fault though, for thinking she'd just wait around for me to come to my senses. And now it looks like she's found someone else. As much as I wish it was my hand she was holding, I'm glad she's so happy. Even if it's not with me. I did talk to her though, and she's grown out of the stuttering phase, but she still blushes a lot. I pretended that everything was the same and I didn't love her, so she wouldn't feel bad and have to tell me she was already in love with someone else. I guess it's my turn now to stand on the sidelines while 'she' goes after someone else.

It's been two weeks since I first saw them together and it's becoming harder and harder to keep my mouth shut. I don't want to ruin Hinata's chance at happiness, and I also don't want to ruin my friendship with Kiba, but it's so hard to watch them together. I know I'm pathetic, jealousy won't get me anywhere, but what would you do if the girl you loved went off for several hours everyday to do 'training' with her 'friend'. At least that's what Hinata calls Kiba, anyone can see that they're a couple. She probably just doesn't want anyone to know. When I asked her if she liked someone, she blushed and looked away saying "Yes.". She was looking at Kiba when she said it, so I know it has to be him. But as much as I want her, I want her to be happy more, and if this is what it takes then I'll just keep pretending.

I can't take it anymore; I'm going to tell Hinata how I feel. Even if she tells me we're just friends, I need her to know how much I care about her. I've got a B rank mission in the morning, but I'm going to see her as soon as I get back. I know it will hurt when she tells me she doesn't feel that way about me, but at least once she knows I can stop pretending that I don't love her.

ooooo

With tears pouring down her face, Hinata gently closed the notebook and placed it on the table. "Idiot." She said as she sobbed into her hands. "I never loved anyone but you. Kiba was trying to help me overcome my shyness so I could tell you how I feel." Taking a deep breath, she slowly calmed down. "And if you were here right now I'd hit you for implying that Kiba and I were doing 'something' other than training." She said with a sad smile.

"Hey Hinata, are you ready?" Sakura asked as she walked up to her friend. "The memorial service is going to start soon."

"Yeah." Hinata said as she wiped the tears from her eyes and stood up.

"Did you read it?" Sakura asked, pointing at the small black notebook on the table. Seeing Hinata's nod, Sakura enveloped her in a hug. "I know it's too late and things can't be changed, but he left you his heart on those pages."

"I know." Hinata said as she picked up the notebook and held it gently against her chest. "And I'll keep it with me always."

As they walked out together, Sakura shook her head sadly. 'She gave him her heart in life, and he gave her his in death. I hope that one day they find each other again.' She thought as they left Naruto's apartment for the last time.