Never Again

By: Kuroi Neko-kun

Summary: After the Liberation War, Clive never expected to see a certain elf again, especially at another war.

Disclaimer: Konami has copyrighted Suikoden. (Sticks out tongue) Tbbt!

Warning: Slash. Yaoi. Call it whatever you want. Basically, male-male relationship. And I don't care if it's between a man and an elf! It's a strange pairing, I know.

A/N: Just so you know, I know that Clive's life is the guild. But in this story, he will have someone else to live for. More information: Stallion's rune is NOT a true rune. The 'True Holy Rune' was a mistranslation of the 'Godspeed Rune'. But for this story, it's a true rune. Go to for more information.

Notes:
Hero's name: Riou
Company name: Dunan
Castle name: Jiyuu (It means Freedom in Japanese)
Clive's Rune: He doesn't have one
Stallion's Rune: Wind (Other than the one he already has)

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Chapter 3

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"Something that happened in the time period of three years?" the detective asked, raising an eyebrow at the cloaked gunner, "That's going to be a tough one, gun boy." Clive placed a large bag on Richmond's table.

"A thousand potch for your troubles. Another thousand for any viable information you can give me," he said. Richmond looked at the bag with slight disinterest. He turned back to the cloaked man.

"Tell me the reason you're doing this," he asked. Clive remained silent. Richmond knew this was going to happen. He tried another tactic.

"Well, I'd sure like to know because that elf seems to have the hots for you. He had been bothering me since I tipped off Lord Riou of a cloaked gunner in South Window." Still nothing but he saw the twinkle of humor in the man's eyes.

"Clive, is it that scar on his back?" The gunner's eyebrows gave it away as it rose a bit higher. "Hah, figured as much. Richmond knows a lot of things so don't be too shocked about it. I don't want your money but you could work something out for me."

"What is it?" the gunner asked.

"Do you love him?" That question was strictly uncalled for. Clive nearly took a step back in complete shock. The detective was lucky that Clive didn't opt to blow his brains off.

"L-Love?"

"Yeah, put that question in your head and figure things out. You're obsessed with that woman you don't even stop to smell the roses. You got to remember that elf has a true rune on his hand. He's going to live forever and he's going to need something that will give him hope, the ability to live on. You don't know how many times I've seen life drain out of his eyes, like he has no hope left. Especially on cold nights… Then you come along and he's suddenly radiant," Richmond said. Clive hadn't thought of things that way. He didn't notice Stallion until… recently.

"From what I've gathered, you two are old war buds. I got to dig deeper to bridge the gap between three years. Since I'm doing this little investigation, I might as well be thorough…" Clive decided it was high time to walk away.

"Hey, you forgot your money!" Richmond shouted at his back. Clive just turned and looked at the man.

"I did say a thousand potch for any viable information you give me," he said before leaving the detective. Once the gunner was out of sight, Richmond couldn't help smirking.

"Damn, you were right, granny," he mumbled to himself.

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Richmond's words practically pounded in his head for so long he didn't realize who he had knocked into until it was too late.

"Oi there, gunner!" Camus said in good cheer as he got up," So blind in a rush, you've forgotten common manners." Clive stopped before sighing.

"I apologize, knight," he said as he looked at the redhead.

"It is I who should be apologizing, Sir Clive. You were lost in thought again it was the only way to catch your attention." Camus leaned closer to him.

"My attention?" Clive repeated in a question.

"You've certainly caught mine," the redhead said as he ran his hand into his hair. The gunner recognized that tone before, in the voices of females and males alike, all with the same attraction. Gods, is this knight flirting with me? He grimaced at the thought. He needed a shield, a cover.

"Sir Camus," he said, forcing down calmness like a true gunner," Have you seen Stallion by any chance?" He hoped by the way he said the name, it would cause some way of making the knight back off.

"That elf?" Camus scoffed, earning an unknowing glare from the gunner," He was running around some place before Lord Riou asked him to accompany him to Toran. Flik and Viktor went with. I don't know what all of it was about but those two almost pounced on Lord Riou when he was about to say no." Clive smirked.

"Well, I'd love to see Lepant's face when he sees Viktor and Flik again," he said.

"I almost forgot that you fought that same war," the red knight pointed out.

"Yes, I did."

"Then, Sir Stallion was still as obnoxious as ever?"

"I wouldn't want him to change," Clive said before looking at the knight," I will take my leave now." He gave the knight a slight bow before walking away. Little that he knew, Camus was still watching him with deep interest.

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It had been three days that had past since Camus had informed him of Stallion's trip. Somehow, he missed the elf, constantly thinking about him and what he could be doing. It was when dinner was served when he realized how much he would be lost without Stallion. The elf would have nicked his food, annoy him greatly by doing stupid things and then wait for him in his room, just to annoy him in a different way entirely. Silly things were done but it comforted him all the same. He felt warm in his heart, knowing that there was someone waiting for him in the end.

Lord Riou… You had to bring him along without me… He sighed at the thought. And without a parting word too. Must have been really important. In Toran no less… Everyone must have pestered Lord Riou to take him. That elf maybe one of the most beautiful creatures I have met but he sure has rotten sense. He smiled at the thought, wondering if he had managed to crawl under Viktor's skin like the last time they've traveled together.

Flik should have a good laugh, at least. He imagined the annoyed Viktor, chasing the elf while swinging the constantly bickering Zodiac Sword. Suddenly he wished that he was with them. He was interrupted by the knock on his door. He sighed before reaching out to open it.

"Hey there," Richmond greeted at his door," I've got what you wanted." The detective held out a piece of rolled parchment. Clive just stared at it.

"Take it. You paid a thousand potch for this," he said. The gunner just took the roll.

"I didn't expect it so soon."

"Heh, don't doubt my skills," Richmond said before walking off," Just find me if you need anything else." Once the detective disappeared, Clive closed his door before taking a seat at the side of his bed. He unrolled the parchment and read it. The detective had given him a detailed report of his findings and none were good news but he read on, needing to know what was going on. Richmond took accounts from after the Gate Rune War up till Stallion's arrival to Jiyuu Castle. There were periods when Stallion returned to the Village of the Elves, a place Clive knew that he never wanted to return to but he did. Richmond wrote a side note, 'I couldn't get near the new Elder but I managed to get his wife.' The report said that he had been looking for someone, someone so damn important to him. Another side note, 'I've got a few theories but I doubt you're interested.' Next paragraph stated his sudden visits to Gregminster, asking assistance from Kasumi. But the next paragraph was filled with details that even Richmond found hard to write down.

Stallion was on his way to Muse, with information of the person he was looking for. During that time, he had to cross past the Muse-Highland border. He had been cornered by the Highland soldiers who had caused a traumatizing event. Stallion was raped by ten Highland soldiers. He managed to escape and ran blindly all the way to Radat before collapsing to the ground. He was taking in by one of the people there and was secretly healed back to health. He stayed in Radat until he was asked to join the Dunan Army by Lord Riou.

Clive almost crushed the paper in his hand, anger suddenly filled inside him. He got up and grabbed Storm and his cloak. The door swung open only to reveal the detective on the other side.

"You're going to run off and kill all the Highland scum, gunner?"

"Get out of my way or I'll blast you till kingdom come," he sneered. Richmond only gave Clive a tight slap across his cheek, hoping that the gunner came to his senses. Clive glared at him.

"Do you have a death wish?" he said.

"No," Richmond said shrugging," But read the end of my notes." Clive looked at the crushed letter in his hand. He smoothen it out before reading what Richmond wanted him to read.

'Lord Riou asked me to pull this investigation before you did and Shu strongly agreed. It wasn't that they didn't trust Stallion but Nanami spotted the wound that never seemed to heal on his back. They needed to know what happened. Nanami was the first to react when they found out. She stormed to Stallion and knocked him upside the head. I don't know why but she seemed like she understood how he felt. Told him that there was someone out there that would be waiting for his smile and if he acted this way, that person would be very, very disappointed. She insisted that Stallion used a rune of some sort to keep him from being cornered again, saying that he can't run away if he was cornered again. Lord Riou gave him a Wind Rune. He healed just fine but Doctor Huan mentioned about his mental condition. Some of the old Liberation Army members noticed that he was acting different too. No hope in his eyes… After that, you came along with a gunshot wound from your fight in Radat. And well, you know the rest… P.S. I found out who he was looking for: a gunner chasing after a skirt.'

Clive looked at detective who gave a large sigh.

"Sorry it took so long but I had to discuss some stuff with Shu first."

"Shu?"

"Well, my job is a detective. I'm supposed to give all the details that my clients want," he offered as an explanation. "I've got a few other things to do so you do what you see fit."

"Richmond," Clive called out. The detective turned and looked at him. "Thanks." Another shrug fell from Richmond's shoulders.

"It's nothing. Just remember what I said before." As the detective walked away, Clive sighed.

"I will," he mumbled to himself.

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The next few days was filled with thoughts. As Clive sat at Hai Yo's restaurant, sitting at a corner table in the darkness, he picked at his food, thinking. Thinking about how Stallion dealt with such an ordeal. The elf must have been depressed. If it was Clive in the elf's shoes, he would have been vengeful, ready to fight this war just to strike his revenge at Highland scum. But Stallion didn't. He had been lying in the castle more, trying to get himself away from war. He held on to hope… I'm his hope? How can I be hope to someone? I'm a murderer, a stinking assassin. The Reaper himself, for lack of a better word. Yet, Stallion looked for me, searching for hope and almost lost it because he got in the way of those wretched Highlanders. But he held on to that string of hope because… Because of what?

"Taking food for thought literally, Clive?" He looked up to see the blue swordsman looking at him.

"Flik, what are you doing here?"

"Well, I got hungry," he said, shrugging. Clive shook his head.

"I thought you were with Lord Riou in Toran." Flik nodded to the fact.

"Yes, we just returned. Viktor's claiming the bath so I doubt you should go in there. Then again, you've been in a bath with Viktor." Clive shuddered at the memory. Flik laughed.

"So what's on your mind now, Clive? Not that wretched woman that you can't seem to keep out of mind…"

"No, it's not," Clive answered, shocking Flik slightly. The times when Flik had been friendly towards the cloaked man, he barely talked. For him to answer his query was a feat. Flik heard that Stallion had been hanging around him, maybe he was influenced. Speaking of Stallion…

"Oh yeah. Stallion's been looking for you," Flik said," He was eager to get back and mumbled something about finding the damn gunner." The look on Clive's face was not what Flik had expected. His face suddenly brightened at the mention of the elf's name.

Ha, that's why he's hanging around you lately… Flik thought, hiding his grin. The gunner stood up and turned to Flik.

"I'll take my leave now, Flik."

"You barely touched your food," the blue armored swordsman said, pointing to the barely eaten plate of steak n the table for emphasis.

"I wasn't that hungry I suppose," he answered before offering a slight bow. He left without another word.

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Clive dashed as fast as he could from the restaurant to Stallion's quarters, which was on the opposite end of Jiyuu Castle. The great hall was surprisingly full and he barely managed to dodge everyone as he ran. He knocked into, of all people, Nina.

"Hey, you goof! Come back here and apologize!" But Clive was already through the hallway on the other side. There were less people there and the gunner was glad for it. He reached Stallion's door and flung it open, only to find it empty. Where could he be?

"Have you tried your room, sonny?" Clive looked down to see Taki looking back at him. The grandmother clad in red gave him a wink as realization dawned on him.

Stallion was looking for me. Where else would he be looking for me? He resisted the urge to slap his forehead before he turned to the grandmother.

"Uh… thanks," he said before running off to his room.

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After the few mishaps (he had knocked down Freed and Sasuke), Clive finally reached his room, tempted not to break the door down. He slowly opened it and found Stallion sitting on the edge of his bed, reading a piece of crumpled parchment. Clive realized it was Richmond's investigation report. The gunner entered his room before closing the door, knowing things were going to escalate.

"Didn't know you were back," he said casually.

"And not a moment too soon," Stallion sneered as he stood up, glaring at him as he lifted the paper in his hand at Clive face. "You just couldn't let it be, can you!"

"Stallion, I just wanted to know what happened."

"It's none of your business what happened!"

"If you told me, I wouldn't have resorted to this."

"What did you want me to say! I was raped by mere men? I was raped! Fine, it's out!" Clive had never seen Stallion so angry in his life. He kept his mouth shut.

"What they did, what had already past, just leave it…" The elf said quietly. Clive braved to step forward. When he made no move, Clive moved closer to Stallion and slowly wrapped his arms around him.

"I couldn't do anything… I was poisoned at that time. I needed antitoxin. They found me in my weak state and pinned me down… It was horrible," he muttered, resting his head on Clive's chest.

"They kept on mentioning that my body was slender and soft, like a girl's. All elves are like that. I swore that I'll show them how a male elf could fight. But I couldn't get up… I was weak. I still am…"

"You're not weak," Clive said," I've seen you fight. You laughed in the face of danger, teased at death, flirted with menace."

"Yet, I let myself be in such a state… I couldn't fight them. I felt that I lost everything."

"But you didn't give up hope, right?" Clive asked, as he cupped the elf's chin, looking into his blue eyes.

"I had not much left," Stallion answered.

"Then let me be that hope, then, Stallion…"

"Clive… what?"

"If you lose hope, you'll lose me," he said.

"Why? Why do you want to be something that is not asked of you, gunner?" The question was so simple but the answer was so difficult to grasp. Clive had it at the tip of his tongue but he couldn't say. He was unsure of it at first but now, he was so sure, it scared him.

"Clive, I wish for an answer."

"Because I… I…" Am I stammering? I've never stammered in my life. What the hell is wrong with me? It felt like Richmond entered his head, poking some sense into him. 'Do you love him?' was the question.

It's hard to say… I've always thought about him but… I've never thought about it. Loving someone… Maybe I never did stop and smell the roses. He makes me comfortable… and happy.

'Then stop standing there like an ass and tell him what he needs to hear.' He could feel the mental equivalent to a smack on his head. For what it was worth, he wondered what Richmond was doing in his head. He turned back to Stallion, looking into the elf's blue eyes. He pressed his lips gently against Stallion's for a soft loving kiss. The elf kissed back softly as well. They broke off slowly before staring at each other.

"I love you," Stallion said, surprising the gunner slightly," I didn't know it then when I first met you. I thought that I wanted a quick getaway from loneliness. In the end, as you flew into my thoughts, I realized I wanted to love you and I wanted you to love me back. But your quest, your guild, your loyalties… All of those things will make you tread a path away from what I wish. I knew you'd use this war to find that wretched woman and that was the sole reason I joined. I wanted to see you again. I wanted to tell you that I've fallen in love with you, Clive. I'm touched that you care for me. That you go to all the trouble to know about something so minuscule." Stallion forced a smile though his eyes were still saddened as he stood in front of Clive.

"But there's nothing more to us, is there?"

"There is," Clive answered, looking at the elf, "Have you thought of how I feel about you, elf? Or did you skip that from your delusions?"

"Clive… I…"

"I wanted to know about what happened to you because I was concerned. When I found out, I was about to head to Highland grounds, just so that I could litter them of their brain matter! What does that say about me?"

"But…"

"You were the only person in Toran that made the journey fruitful. You were the only memory I had that was good about it. I would have stayed but you were already gone," he said as he closed the distance between him and Stallion.

"You're a fool of an elf if you believe there is nothing more between us."

"I don't understand," Stallion said, ultimately confused. He had not hoped for these words. For these beautiful words to stream out of the gunner's mouth.

"I love you too, you stupid elf!" Clive shouted before he pulled Stallion for another kiss. He felt the tears staining his face, realizing that the elf was crying. He brushed the tears away before looking at his new love.

"Stallion, you've got what you wanted," he said in a soft voice.

"But you… Is this what you wanted?"

"It took me long to realize it," said the gunner.

"But your guild… your mission…"

"Can go to hell," he said.

"Clive, I don't want you to be hunted down by Harmonian gunners like that wretched woman…" The gunner chuckled.

"Alright… Let me finish this one last mission," he said.

"Right, I'll be by your side when you do it." Clive gave him a look.

"Stallion, no…"

"If you wish to be my hope, gunner, let me be by your side," he said.

"Is there anyway I can get you to stay behind?"

"I'll get Lord Riou to order you to bring me along if I have to," Stallion pointed out," Besides, if you get into a fix, I can help you. I have the fastest feet in the land. I can run circles around you when you still try to take a step." Clive noticed the smirk.

"Conceited bastard," he muttered before kissing the elf again. Stallion noticed it wasn't soft and tender. No more was the lovers' kiss. Clive kissed him with all the pent up passion that he had held back in days. The kiss broke as lust filled eyes met each other.

"Make love to me, Clive," Stallion whispered before kissing Clive again.

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To Be Continued

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