Good Night's Lullaby
Part Three of Good Night, Dear
After they had a talk with Sung-Joo about his explanation of what happened with the world, they walked back to where the kids were sleeping in a happy mood. They rested on the wall, slightly far away from the children, but not too far from them at the same time. Once Ray settled on his seat beside the girl beside him, he then turned to see her grinning that idiotic smile he knows only she would have. That made him raise his eyebrow at her. "What?"
Emma continued smiling with this loving look as she faced the young ones who are dreaming in their sleeps. "I'm just too happy right now. At least everyone is safe and no one got hurt."
Ray scoffs, but a tiny smirk tugged up a bit. Of course Emma would be overjoyed at the idea that no one ended up being injured. She's the kind of person who cares for others rather than what happens to her after all. But that's her charming point about her anyways.
"Stop! Don't do this!"
The memory flashed in his mind before he could stop it. He grimaced.
"Thanks," He says softly with a contented grin on his face. "Bye, Emma." Fingers then let go of the match. Time seemed to slow down as the matchstick descended to the floor.
Ray bit the bottom of his lip. Of all times, why now? Why does he have to remember that?
Emma noticed the change of mood in him and leaned forward so that she could get a better look at his face.
"Ray? Are you okay?"
The boy groaned and turned away from his friend. He's not mad at her. He just has no idea what to feel right now.
He thought he would see flames engulfing him as the last thing he'll ever see, but he was shocked to see Emma quickly leap up from her spot and grab for the matchstick, clapping on it to both catch it and distinguish its flames.
"Got it!"
Unconsciously, he turned back to face her and Emma was a bit surprised when Ray suddenly – but gently – grab her hands, turning it over to check her palms. There, he saw the burn marks, but it's nothing too serious and may fade away in time. But that didn't stop him from stroking his thumb on the markings, not even aware at how he inwardly takes notice of Emma's soft skin.
"Ray?" Emma whispered, concern evident in her tone, and he can feel those eyes staring at him. "Is there something wrong?"
There was no answer from him for a while before he spoke in a quiet voice, as if he was afraid that anyone would hear it.
"Why save me?"
It was just few words – just a short question – but he feels like he poured much unspoken emotions in it than he thought was possible from a person like him. But whatever, he doesn't care. There's nothing great to live in his life anyway. He would only achieve greater peace if he ended his life then.
Well, at least that's what he thought during that time, since Emma then stopped him.
"Norman already figured it out before he even left!" Emma took a step towards him, and he felt weird from the oil covering his skin and some of it soaked to his clothes.
He had no reason to live on when all he wanted was to escape – escape this nightmare. Ray is in this dark cave, all alone, fearing the things that hide in the darkness – waiting, watching . . .
"That's why he instructed me to be ready to stop you."
Ray wanted to be free. It felt so suffocating. He wanted no more of this life. He wanted out. He wanted to be safe. He wanted to be at peace. There, he found himself covered in oil, and all it will take is a tiny spark and a matchstick, so that he can be released from the terrors . . .
Just a tiny fire, then . . .
"Ray?"
He must have zoned out a bit since his mind finally came back to reality and was not aware of how both of them were staring eye-to-eye, faces near enough that he can clearly see all the details he can see deep in those emerald eyes of hers – especially the worry hidden in them as she stares at his tired ones.
From the way she looks at him, he can clearly read from her expression that she might start saying something that will probably lead him to argue with her as usual, so he sighed and ruffle his hair a bit. "Well, don't mind my question and just go to sleep. We need all the energy we can get for tomorrow anyways."
Before he could even lean his head on the wall and close his eyes, he was startled when he was suddenly crushed by a grip that felt like someone was trying to suffocate him, but then he suddenly found out with a surprising realization that Emma was hugging him!
"Emma?" He gasped, both from shock and her crushing hug.
She buried her face to the crook of his neck, air coming out from her nose which then tickled his neck. "Ray . . . please don't think that way."
He bit on the side of his cheek. "What way?" But he knows what she means.
Her form trembled, making her seem so fragile at that moment despite her strong hold on him.
The imagination of the cave brings himself to be trapped there again. Imprisoned in the darkness. Like a cage. Oh, how the demons can just easily grab him out of that little prison of his. He has no freedom. His life does not matter to anyone.
"I . . . I know Norman predicted your actions and told me about it, so it wouldn't be a shock to me when you . . . do it." Her words sounded far away, as he seems to be still stuck in the imaginary cage his mind conjured up.
It was dark. So dark. Help. He needs help. He wants help. But there is no help. Not here. This world was just too cruel. Why even hope for help? No one escapes this kind of nightmare. Just darkness here and there. No light—
But there is light. He looks at the tiny matchstick in his fingers, a small flame dancing around at the tip, providing comfort with the plan that all he needs to do is to drop it . . .
"I know you were the traitor in the first place and have been allowing kids to be sent away . . ." Her words can be heard, but it does not reach him as he's still stuck in his mind.
Start a fire. End him. He can be free. He wishes to be free. He can finally do it.
He knew what to do, for this small fire with him can fulfill his wish. He can finally be free. There is no need to be afraid anymore with this fire with him—
"But, please, don't ever hurt yourself." Emma's voice was starting to fade. He feels himself lessen his grip on the match . . .
"I don't want you to die, Ray."
Then he saw something that outshines the tiny fire in his hands.
"I'm sorry," Emma had her head down, bangs shading her eyes. "But I have no intentions of letting you die."
Emma gave him another squeeze, but it didn't hurt. "You're part of the family, and I can't imagine a world without a Ray in it."
He saw light. He saw Emma. Light shone from the end of the tunnel. She was at the end of the tunnel. There's music coming from the exit. Emma's voice echoes from the exit.
She grabbed his hands, not minding the oil on them. "And neither will Norman or any of the other kids!"
She stood there, calling out for his name. She's waiting for him.
"All of us will stop you at all costs!"
Emma is his light, and she will lead him out of the dark.
The girl gasped when she felt Ray's arms slowly wrap around her as well, not hugging her as tight as she was doing to him, but it felt warm and gentle. He can feel Emma smile even if he can't see her face.
"It's okay to cry, Ray. It helps lighten the burden," She says softly.
"Damn it, Emma. I'm not crying," he says as he held back the tears. Emma laughs. She can guess Ray was hiding it.
She finally ends the hug, but moves her hands up and cups his face, closing her eyes as she rests her forehead to his, a soft smile gracing her lips. This makes him silent, but he couldn't help notice the tingly feeling he was feeling in his chest.
"You're precious, Ray. My life wouldn't be the same if I lose you, too. Please know that we all love you, and we will be ready to hear you out if you ever feel like there's so much to hold. After all – and you must always remember – we're family, and family sticks together," she gives a bright smile. "So you're not alone, Ray."
She has no idea of how her words affected him in so many ways that he can't even explain. Her voice was like some kind of melody that lulls the fears and anger hidden at the depths of his mind to fade away, like it drowns the voices in his head by the sounds of soft music that can calm down a crying baby. He then felt at peace, just hearing her talk to him with words of solace.
A light. A lullaby. A friend.
His heart felt lighter than it had ever felt before during those dark days. And something about it made him . . . feel happy. For that, he joins in with Emma and smiles. The girl opened her eyes, and Ray never knew her smile could grow even wider than earlier upon seeing him.
Emma finally placed down her hands and adjusted her position to sit beside Ray again, leaning her back on the wall, and giving another small surprise to him of her resting her head on his shoulder. "Tell me a bedtime story, Ray, please? Like old times?"
He rolled his eyes at that. "Who am I? Your mom?" Ray scoffs and Emma pouts angrily at him. "Besides, it's been years since you begged me to read some bedtime story to you. Also, you're not a kid anymore."
The girl stuck out her bottom lip and hummed in disappointment. "There's nothing wrong to act like a kid once in a while right? And we're not that old, Ray!"
With a sigh, Ray considered her request in mind on whether he wanted to oblige to it or not. Then an idea popped up.
"I don't have a story to offer that you have not heard of yet, but . . ." he hesitated, but Emma's stare prompted him to continue. "I . . . I know of this lullaby since I was a kid. Don't mention it to anyone! Or else I'll surely make you regret you ever found out about this."
Emma chuckles softly, small dimples appearing on her face. Did Ray ever noticed if she had dimples before?
"Okay, okay, I promise! So what's the lullaby?"
Ray gives one last tired sigh and started humming a tune.
Inside, he's a bit nervous, since he doesn't usually sing, except for that one time when he made Mama go white when she questioned him on how did he now the tune of the lullaby. It was not really his first choice of music for a lullaby, considering the fact that it came from Mama, but the tune was beautiful. If he wants to share the tune with someone, he can trust Emma with the tune.
While Ray was focused on his humming, Emma gives a small laugh. "That's a pretty tune, Ray . . ." Then he heard her yawn, nearly making him stop and laugh.
Thank you, Emma . . .
He continues humming until he himself gets tired.
You are my lullaby, Emma. I hope one day I can be your lullaby as well.
Both of them fell asleep with Emma leaning on Ray, and Ray's head on her head. They stayed like that until the morning even when Don and Gilda woke up and saw the duo's position as they continued sleeping, making the pair smile at them.
