The Fifteen Faces of Jyuushirou Ukitake

By

PND

Face 3: Love

AN: Sorry about the long wait…my computer broke…woot.


Ukitake Jyuushirou did not love. Love to him seemed too final. Love was death in his mind.

He cared and cherished those he knew. He'd give his life for any one, but he just couldn't bring himself to love. Love was too far out of his reach to even bother thinking about.

He knew he was loved. Many people loved him. The Captain Commander loved him as one would his own son, hardly a small feat considering how heartless the old man could be. Shunsui loved him and he was fairly certain Nanao did to come degree. Kiyone, Sentarou, Rukia…they all loved him. And Kaien…Kaien had loved him.

Love was something strange and completely irrational. It was hopeless. It was pointless. Why give your heart to someone when they could just be taken away? He believed love existed. Of course it did. Without love there would be no point in existence. Everything everyone did was out of love be it love of war, love of death, love of life, love of peace…nothing existed without it.

Maybe he felt love, but he refused to give in to it. He'd seen love ruin too many good people's lives. He knew what a broken heart felt like and how hard one was to repair. He'd felt the flutter of butterflies in his stomach more than once in his long years. He'd considered telling someone how he'd felt about them once, but he didn't want to lie.

He didn't love.

There was always some reason he'd give himself not to give in to it. Love was completely overrated.

Who knew what love would do to him? He worried he would be like Yamamoto, absolute and unyielding, even if it meant killing someone dear to you.

There was the worry he'd turn into Shunsui if he told someone he loved them. Shunsui was a dear friend, but the man was little more than a hormonal twit at times, telling women he was in love with them, but he never meant it.

There was the worry love would turn him into Kiyone, Sentarou, or Rukia. The hopeful sheen in their eyes and the endless need to look to him for guidance. They loved him for what he did and what he stood for. They were so blinded by what they believed him to be that they didn't understand what he was.

And then their was the love like Kaien's. Probably the most logical of them all. Kaien had loved him as his captain, nothing more and nothing less. Kaien was a true friend and a brillaint shinigami, but there were very few things in his life than he cherished in his life more than honor.

It was the epitome of any sort of caring. It summed up his need to cherish and protect. It was the need to remove the finality of death, even if it meant his own.

Honor was probably the closest thing Ukitake could feel to love.


END

AN: Um, neat…it's late and that was written in far too short of a time for it to be very good. Hope you enjoyed. Hopefully I'll be updating this more often…

Anyways, thanks for the reviews, they're great.

Loves.