Third chapter.

Disclaimer: I do not own Castle.

The case was closed. Finally. Well, they closed it yesterday, but the paperwork had been harder on her than she thought. Having to relive the whole case; not really what she would have liked.

Kate exhaled a slow and long breath, this is it. It should feel like a weight should have been lifted from her shoulders. It did, in fact, but not as much as she had hoped.

Lee had been found, but her shooter, the one that left the ugly scar in between breasts she so eagerly tried to hide. The one that made her no different to Lee. The one that made her hate mirrors and fancy lingerie.

'You did it, Kate.'

She turned around to the man who was always there for her, two cups of coffee in his hands. His eyes full of warmth, pride and something she was not willing to address.

'I thought I was the one who owed you a hundred coffees.'

'Oh, you still do, just take this as an apology for what I am going to ask next.'

Kate slowly put all the papers on a neat pile on the corner of her desk.

'Why would you need to apologize for asking me something?'

She smiled, but the muscles in around her mouth cramped up in a nervous twitch.

'Just, we need to talk…'

'Do we? I mean, the case is closed. Sure, I kind of let it get to me and then we had the little breakdown fiasco, but it's all over now.'

This time her muscles worked the way they were supposed to, but Castle wasn't looking at her mouth, he was looking her in the eyes, and oh boy, they told him a whole different story.

'This case was just a trigger Kate, I know it isn't over. I know it plagues you day and night, and I know that you are scared. You CAN be scared you know, you are allowed to.'

'I, Castle, this is really hard for me.'

'I know, but keeping it inside you is not gonna work, nor should it have to. You have so many people who care about you and want the best for you. You don't have to talk to me, I just wish you would confide in someone, you know? That I know you are not alone, that you are not doing this al by yourself.'

Oh this man.

Kate inhaled deeply trying to blink away the mist in her eyes, suddenly feeling very overwhelmed.

'I am seeing someone, Castle.'

She looked at a non-existing point on the floor, trying to keep her tone casual. She cringed when she heard Castle's coffee cup shatter on the floor, next to her non-existing point. Wow, so much for casual.

'I, I mean, what?'

Then she realized what she had just said and how it must have sounded. She looked up, seeing absolute horror in Castle's eyes. Despite never having intended to hurt him like this, she did feel a kind of victory starting in the pit of her stomach. Oh god.

'Castle'

Het lips turned up in a genuine smile, twinkling eyes.

Castle's expression changed to on of utter confusion and deep betrayal.

'I don't understand, you, you have a boyfriend?'

For one millisecond she thought of leaving it there. If she had a boyfriend, Castle would move on and find someone worthy of him. Someone whole, without scars and no snipers. He would be so deserving of that. Would she, should she?

No, she was too selfish to do something stupid like that.

'I, I'm seeing a shrink Castle, for my ten thousand issues.'

'I…'

He let her soft admission dawn on him, I was quite for a few very long seconds.

'So you don't have a boyfriend?'

'What, you think I should?

"No! I mean yes, what?! Beckett!'

She laughed out loud now, glad she had him distracted of all the dark things looming above their heads.

'It's okay Castle, I know what you meant.'

She smiled softly at him, knowing her eyes showed way too much.

'The swings, right?'

'The swings.'

T.B.C.

No one is as good at dodging heavy questions as Kate Beckett.

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