Here's the next chapter! I know the story's going a little slow, but I promise it will speed up soon. I own nothing though I defiantly wish I did. Enjoy:)

Chapter 3

Lissa came over the next morning so we could talk before the field experience. I honestly tried to pay attention to her ramblings about shoes and Christian wanting to get a tattoo (which at any other time I would have found hilarious), but I just couldn't. Dimitri had woke me up early in the morning to kiss me goodbye before leaving. It was so sweet and I was glad he did. I just didn't like the fact he had to leave at all.

"Earth to Rose," Lissa snapped her fingers. I couldn't bring up the motivation to respond. "A Strigoi is attacking, the guardians want you, Adrian's outside your door naked and drunk" That last one got my brain to focus. I guess it automatically goes on alert every time it hears "drunk", naked" and "Adrian" in the same sentence. I don't even like to think about him clothed and drunk.

"Sorry. I'm having a hard time focusing right now." Her face became sympathetic. That was one of the things Lissa was really good at. She could make you feel comfortable to spill your heart even without compulsion. "Have you ever known something was wrong and wished for it to happen anyways?"

"Dimitri." It was a statement, not a question

"Yeah he came over and it was great." Despite my glum mood I found myself grinning. Lissa elbowed me with a knowing smile on her face. "But then he had to leave. It was practically still night when I saw him go. Why can't he stay for just once?"

"Because he can't" It was a simple answer. Behind her three words, though, were a million others. Because he's seven years older then you and you're seventeen. Because he's your mentor. Because you're both guardians and the motto's they come first. But she didn't say any of that and I was glad.

"I'm just so over whelmed with everything. Every little thing sets me off now a days and the darkness is only making things worse. Being with him makes me feel better, free in a way. Now that seeing him is such a risk I can't even have that liberty. No matter how hard I try it's impossible to get that nagging voice out of the back of my mind saying this isn't right, we'll both get in trouble. I feel like I'm going crazy. Like- like I'm becoming Anna." Before now I didn't realize just how scared I was that I was becoming her. I haven't really had anyone to talk to lately. Lissa was always busy with Christian, when I was with Dimitri it was more about passion and lust than anything else, and frankly I found my counselor less useful then a box of rocks when it came to expressing myself. Being able to let go of everything inside of me felt wonderful. And even though saying them put a sad heaviness into the air, it made me a little less sure I was going to be Anna.

"Oh Rose!" Lissa exclaimed, pulling me into a hug. I had missed her hugs. They were comforting and I finally felt like we were more than bond mates, we were sisters. Before I knew it I was sobbing. All the pain in my life came forward. I felt the hurt of not feeling like I had a mother and the ripping sensation in my heart of Mason dying. Then I started to feel Lissa's pain for me until she closed off her mind to me. I was so grateful that I started to talk through my tears.

"I've resented you and the ability you have to do a lot. You're able to go to parties and have fun and be with Christian. I know it's selfish of me and I'm really sorry, but I can't help it. I'm selfish."

"No," she said, "You're anything but."

I walked out of my room a different person. My worries and fears had quieted down a little and I felt not happier, but lighter. The weight on my shoulders was still crushing, but not as much. It was a welcomed break. Dimitri met us at the end of the hall way and I could see the want in his eyes.

"They know," I whispered despite the fact there was no one else in the hallways. Never can be too careful right? His faced showed shock until his guardian mask quickly took over. He shook his head as if to say still risky. Then slowly he turned to walk down the hall and started briefing me about today.

"You'll have to show perfect guarding strategy while they eat breakfast and walk to the plane. Other guardians will be present; however you will pretend that you are the only one." All work no play.

"Come on Comrade! I don't even get a donut? No? How about a donut hole?" I wanted, needed, to see even the slightest grin, nothing showed. Not even a sparkle in his eye. Last night had been amazing, but I was starting to wonder if maybe he was losing his feelings. I mean I could barely be around him without losing my control and it came so easy to him. Not something to dwell on right now though. The field experience was about to start and I needed to do well.

Most of the test was extremely boring. Lissa and Christian sat there talking and eating while I stood in the corner next to the exit nearest them. They ate so slowly that I tried desperately to make the bond work both ways. I might have given myself a brain aneurism trying. I couldn't even look into Lissa's mind because Dimitri had told her the close the bond. By the time the bill was paid I was seriously considering breaking protocol and go up to Lissa to tell her to sprint to the plane. With a great show of control I resisted the urge. Still, I couldn't help thinking this was soon going to be my life. Boring meetings and sit downs. Always having to be on the outside, watching my friends life live. It wasn't a depressing thought though, it was simply true. I've seen guardians my whole life and wanted to be like them. I wanted to beat the crap out of evil and protect good. Now I realize it's so much more. It's about being patient and knowing that the one moment you think things are fine something might go wrong.

Nothing exciting happened until we were almost to the plane. I have to admit, I let my guard down. We were leaving during the Moroi night (the humans' day) so not to risk real Strigoi. Because of this I was only one hundred percent alert inside and at shadowy places, the only spots there could be any attacks. So I was surprised when someone jumped out from the opposite side of the plane. My first reaction was to protect from the Strigoi. But a part of me realized that if the guardians wanted to act like the test was taking place at night they would've just scheduled it then. This was something else. Whoever was in front of me was pretending to be a Moroi. This would happen a lot when Lissa became part of the council. Extremists who wanted to be rid of the Dragomir line would try to kill her. Suddenly the challenge became a lot harder. A Strigoi I could just kill, an assassin I would have to keep alive so we could question them later.

I turned slightly so I could see both the threat and the two people I was protecting. When facing a Strigoi this would be a fatal action. But since I had a speed and most likely experience advantage on the Moroi I could risk it. The person I battled fought exactly like I expected a Moroi to. They played very dirty, focusing on harshness instead of calculated attacks. After some struggle I pinned the person and soon realized my mistake. Moroi had magic and this one specialized in fire. I could feel their hands burning my chest. Quickly I flipped them over so they were now using their magic against the concrete. I grabbed their neck as if I was going to knock them unconscious. I had won.

I got up and was shocked to see the person I had just defeated. Tasha. Most of me was amazed at how well she had fought. A small part of me (okay a very big part) was glad that I had kicked her ass. I still hadn't entirely forgiven her for trying to take Dimitri.

Later I was sitting next to Dimitri on the flight home. Ryan, the only other guardian, was in the cockpit so Dimitri grabbed my hands and started playing with my fingers. Public affection like that wasn't like him, not that I was complaining.

"I'm very impressed," he said. "A lot of the guardians assumed you wouldn't realize who the threat was. You did though and acted exactly how you should of. Especially turning your body to keep an eye on Lissa and Christian. Most experienced guardians wouldn't have thought to do that." I felt warm and fuzzy inside and only the strong curiosity I had allowed me to form sentences.

"I didn't know Tasha could fight that well."

"Neither did I," he replied. "We were just going to have a guardian act like an assassin, but she volunteered."

"It's kind of scary isn't it?" I looked up and saw a confused expression on his face. "I don't mean Tasha. I think it's awesome she can fight like that. I trust her, sort of, but that's not the point. What if other people learn to fight like that, people who wouldn't care about killing to get what they want?" He simply put my hand to his lips as I response. But I knew he was thinking exactly what I was. What if Strigoi became the lesser enemy? My gloomy thoughts were interrupted by Lissa finally putting down the shields in her head. The first thought that came through was you two are so cute together. I laughed and Lissa smiled at me leaving Dimitri and Christian to think we were absolutely insane.

It was Moroi day when arrived at the Academy, but we were allowed to skip school and rest. I was glad because classes, especially Stan's, would be unbearable since I was so exhausted. As soon as I got back to my room, though, I couldn't sleep. My chest hurt from where Tasha had burned me. I hadn't told anyone about my injuries. They hadn't seemed like such a big deal at the time. Now they hurt like hell, but I couldn't muster up the energy to get them treated. Besides I didn't want to take another trip to the infirmary. I had a personal record for most time away going.

I decided to look through the books on wolves I had gotten when Lissa and I were first brought back to the Academy. The very idea of the pack mentality and dominance intrigued me. It didn't matter what pack you were born in or what your lineage was. If you were strong enough to beat the Alpha you were dominant. Sometimes I wish that the Moroi world was more like that. It seemed fair that there were no royal families, just strong and weak. But then I think of people who, like Tasha, fight dirty. If our government was based completely on power and not on names or rules anyone could be on top. If you had a strong fist and mind you could be the Alpha. Victor Dashkov could be ruling if the system was like that. Then again so could Mia or Lissa. Or me.