Disclaimer: D. Gray-Man belongs to Katsura Hoshino, this is a work of fanfiction, not for profit.
Theme Song: Three Days Grace - Pain
Warning: Physical abuse, self-harm and suicidal thoughts.
Also, I suck at poker...
Third Secret
The sun was peeking through the clouds.
In the Campbell estate, seeing the sun was a rare thing; so rare that Allen was blinded when he saw it.
The white haired young man was walking down the hall of the dining room, heading to the Earl's study.
Allen Noah was a fine young man who excelled in many fields, such as business, and art. Despite being in his mid-twenties, Allen's height did not equal his age, and it was considered to be a funny thing by his family members who often enjoyed teasing him about. His hair was snow white colored; unlike popular belief, it was not dyed, and unlike Wisely, it was not his natural color, but, in fact, the result of a trauma that he experienced in his childhood. That white hair was not the only physical imprint, there was something else, something more, something despised, something hideous…a blood colored scar down his left eye given to him by his own father.
Remembering the past was something Allen disliked, there was nothing to be nostalgic about; there were only few moments of it that were worth remembering, that were actual happy moments. Despite everything that had happened, Allen blamed no one, hated no one; his time might have frozen since that day, but he lived on as if no burden was weighting on his shoulders. Everything was fine, everything went on smoothly for years, however…
However…
In a week there would be a party held in the manor. On that fateful day–
"Come on in." Adam's firm voice echoed from behind the wooden door that Allen had unconsciously knocked.
Too lost in thoughts, the young Noah had not realized that he had already arrived to destination. It was approximately nine-thirty in the morning; Allen had woken up a little bit late than usual –and that because of staying up late thinking of the three guests and what brought them to the manor. He had washed, taken a small walk in the woods, and then had breakfast in the unusual company of Lulubell. The blonde woman seemed to be in a quite bad mood. Allen deduced that it might had something to do with last night's events, and so he decided to try and brighten her mood a little, despite knowing that it could cause his death.
Weirdly, he had managed to take a small laugh out of her before the arrival of a beaming Feedler and a passive Skinn. Their breakfast went on normal, as if nothing weird was happening around them; they chatted, except for Skinn, and ate, enjoying each other's company. Breakfast was perhaps all of the Noahs' favorite time of the day; it was the time when they could be the most of themselves without having to hide behind a mask.
Just as Allen put down his empty cup of tea, Mimi was standing by him and way before she had to utter those words, Allen knew what it was about.
"The Earl summoned you. He is waiting in the study."
Allen entered the room. Adam was sitting at his desk, a book in hands; he didn't move an inch when his nephew came closer. "Sit." He ordered in a tone that sent shivers down the younger's spine. And he sat.
"How was your trip?" The Earl inquired, lifting his eyes to meet Allen's.
"Pleasant, though the constant bickering of Tyki was quite a handful." He said, forcing a smile.
"Oh yes, Tyki." He said, as if he forgot Tyki's very existence. "It must have been hard to keep up with him."
"I got used to it through the years."
The Earl hummed, taking off the square glasses he only wore when reading. He joined his hands under his chin and silently watched Allen, judging him, condemning him, punishing him…
The long silence was ponderous on Allen; silence was something he did not like. He played with his fingers in his lap, turning both thumbs around each other while trying to maintain a small smile. He did not know what he had done to earn the Earl's current dissatisfaction and anger. He had made sure to be perfect in everything he did and said. Perhaps, it was because of the little quarrel of his with that Japanese man.
"Earl is something the matter? You do not seem alright." Allen finally asked, not bearing the silence any longer.
Adam inhaled deeply, lowering his head. "How can I be Allen-pon… how can I, when I realized that someone I love has betrayed me?"
Allen's eyebrows met in a frown, "What happened?"
"Do you not know?" The Earl raised his head, locking their gaze, and Allen innocently shook his head.
The Earl let out a sigh, and got up from his seat, making his way toward Allen, who remained in his place. Adam stopped at his feat, towering his nephew dangerously. Allen did not like their sudden proximity.
"Why are you lying to me Allen?" The look Adam was giving Allen was not one an uncle would give his nephew.
"I am not lying, Earl." He defended, taken aback. He swallowed his own saliva that went down his throat like acid.
Something baleful slipped by Adam's eyes, and in the blink of an eye, he was cropped down with his right hand finding Allen's throat in a solid squeeze.
Allen trembled in his seat, his hands automatically reaching to his attacked neck. He choked, "E—arl…." And the assailant squeezed harder.
Adam's jaw tightened at the sight of Allen's broken face; he counted to ten, then slightly loosed his grip. He caressed Allen's white locks with his other hand, as he murmured in his ear, "Allen my dear nephew…" Adam said, "You know that I love you, right?"
Receiving no response, Adam squeezed again, this time with more force than before. Allen coughed, his need for air was increasing, he couldn't hold on anymore. He forced himself to nod, once, twice, thrice.
"Good." Adam nodded back and finally released him.
Allen fell upwards on his knees and coughed severely. His pale skin had turned crimson, tears and saliva slid down his face, while is hands clutched his hurt neck, in fear it would be attacked once more.
Adam ran his hand through his hair and pulled it backwards. He stood for few minutes, watching his nephew struggle for air, then finally walked to his desk to take a cross-shaped metal. When Allen saw him throw it into the burning chimney, he took a deep breath, expecting what he feared most. He stayed there, on his knees, still under the shock; there was no way out of that situation, there had never been, neither in the past nor now.
Adam hummed a melody as he turned the item in fire with a metal stick, as if he was doing a barbecue on a sunny day. When he deemed it to be ready, Adam took it out with the stick and let it rest for a moment before grabbing it with a glove. He approached Allen and said with a smile, "Take off your shirt, dear."
And Allen consented.
He suppressed a groan when the burning cross-shaped metal met his chest scars, one after the other. Allen stopped counting how many times the Earl had burned his chest with that cross-shaped metal that he liked to call stigmata. Allen had nine stigmata burn marks on his chest just like the others, for the exception of Road who had seven, and Mercym and Skinn who had eleven.
"You can go…" Adam said after a while.
Allen was used to the pain, but that didn't mean it wouldn't hurt anymore. He put back on his shirt and excused himself out of the study. His eyelids felt heavy on his eyes, he was tired –sleep deprivation, he insisted.
He did not understand the sudden punishment, but he knew he deserved it. It was deserved, every single bit of it. After all, it was his entire fault.
It was until Allen exited the study building, and noticed Mimi standing in front of him with ice packs, that his legs finally betrayed him and he collapsed on the ground.
"Remember Allen, the road to hell is paved with good intentions." His father had once told him. But what could he do about it? After all, despite being his greatest sin, staying in the manor was the only thing that kept him alive.
Lenalee was not a morning person –then perhaps a night owl? If she wasn't sure of that.
True there had been school and work that obligated her to break the habit, but that was all in the past. Nowadays, Lenalee ran her own business and no one, no one had to tell her that she must be there at eight in the morning. Her brother and Kanda, on the other hand, were early and hyperactive birds. She could never understand how they managed to be so. She still remembers those long gone days of teenage hood when both men would do the impossible to get her out of bed to be on time to school. Ah, sweet, sweet days...
By the time she had woken up and lazily scrolled down through her social media accounts, it was already eleven in the morning. If it hadn't been for the lack of signal and internet, she probably would've stayed until the afternoon.
The Chinese young woman tugged out the diary she had found the previous night and opened it.
December 24th, 1964
Christmas Eve, the day all the family gathers under a joyous atmosphere.
Christmas Eve, my favorite day of the year and also my birthday. This diary, given to me by my beloved brother, will become from today onwards my secret confidant.
Today, I, Katerina Eve Campbell, turned fifteen.
Lenalee closed the diary and hid it again. She would continue reading later, because now she was starving. She quickly changed into her casual outfit and slid out of the room; she went to the bathroom, that she know memorized its way, washed, then made her way toward the main hall. The grey clouds were suspended in the air, never moving, never changing, never letting the blue sky be distinguished; even the lively green of nature had turned into a dull color. Lenalee stepped into the glass made corridor and prepared to turn right, that, until a voice called out for her.
"'Morning, sleeping beauty."
"Lavi!" she said startled, "Good morning." He was tugging his head out of the drawing room situated at the end of the corridor, where he had been sitting with Mercym, Road and Kanda.
"Join us, it's too late for breakfast and there's tea and cookies served here." He pointed out, beaming.
She could feel her cheeks growing hot, but said nothing and simply nodded as she approached him. "Good morning everyone," she smiled entering the drawing room.
The room was like any drawing room, full of paintings adorning its walls and floor. However, this one had a peculiar aura about it, but Lenalee could not put a name on it. Mercym was sitting in the back of the room with a canvas in front of him and to Lenalee's greatest shock, he was actually painting Kanda.
Kanda had his usual grumpy face on, arms folded to his chest as he sat on an armchair in the middle of the room with the little Road sitting next to him. Lenalee thought of every possible scenario that would lead to Kanda accepting being painted, but none of them made sense because Kanda would never accept. Under any circumstance.
She sat with Lavi, who served her tea, on a sofa away from the drawing range of Mercym. Kanda did not move, it was impressive.
"I'd like to have the recipe."
Lavi let out a small laugh, trying to be as discreet as he could. "I'd like to have it too, as I've never seen him consent to anybody but you."
"How did he do it?" she asked, amazed.
"It wasn't Mercym who convinced Kanda to pose," Lavi corrected, pointing his index to Road, "It was her."
"Come again?"
"Hush! Don't be so loud, you'll disturb the artist. Actually I have no more details, by the time I arrived here they were already like this."
"When did you wake up?"
He smiled coyly, "Half an hour ago…?"
She sweat dropped; Lavi was not a morning person either, and if Lenalee had to put a label on Lavi it would be that of a permanently exhausted pigeon.
Mercym was a fine man in his late twenties, perhaps. He had spiky black hair that merged beautifully with his tanned skin; round face, round nose, pulpous lips –Lavi wondered whom he resembled, at first he thought of Adam, but quickly realized they had nothing in common. In fact, no one seemed to have something in common; the thought vanished just like it emerged when he noticed Lenalee's focused eyes.
She was looking at Mercym, no, she was captivated by the artist. His hand moved gracefully on the canvas, tainting white with somber colors; his eyes travelling from the models to the canvas, never growing tired it. He paused for a moment, tilting his head, then resumed his work to put down the brush only few minutes later.
"Finished." He said, getting up to drink some water.
Lavi found himself jumping from his seat to see the result. A breath caught in his throat.
The dark haired models were painted on a golden background, their features were cautiously drawn, every details painted carefully, nothing was left out. If Lavi could confess, the painted Kanda looked even more handsome than the real one.
"Beautiful," Lenalee said, then turned to the artist, "It is a brilliant work!"
Mercym, against all odds, smiled, "Thank you."
"It has been so long since the last time I posed for you, Mercym." Road said, stretching her limbs, "And I just remembered why."
"You're growing old."
"So are you, but on the other hand, I will forever be a cute girl." She grinned.
"Lord have mercy on us."
The girl punched playfully her uncle's arm as the three guests watched, then Mercym said to Kanda, "You can have it."
The Japanese did not respond, but simply nodded.
"A 'thank you' would not kill, you know?" Road frowned and Lavi answered before Kanda's foul mood would appear.
"He's a shy pal, don't mind him."
"Huh?" Kanda growled at Lavi and Lenalee face palmed.
'Men…'
"You're here."
Lenalee recognized the voice of the sixth party instantly and turned her head toward the door.
"Tyki!" she said, her voice a little high pitched than intended, and if Lavi was sure he had seen her cheeks growing red.
Tyki smiled, "Good morning everyone, lively as I can see." He entered the room, approaching its occupants. Road hugged him and kissed his cheeks with a beaming smile.
"I'm being pampered," He laughed.
"As long as you don't behave like Sheryl, I'm fine with it." Mercym commented and his brother grimaced.
"Don't put me in the same box as him." And added when his eyes fell on the painting, "Nice job, brother. Didn't expect anything less from you."
His sibling nodded, acknowledging his words; silence somehow found its way toward the room as everyone stood, uncertain of what to do next. Mercym was the first to move; he grabbed his paintbrushes and palette to wash them in the sink. Lavi scratched his head and glanced at Lenalee, who stood beside him, seeming about to say something, but Tyki beat him to it.
"How about a game of poker?" Tyki suggested.
"Pardon?" Lenalee inquired, not sure if she heard right.
"Brilliant!" Road clasped her hands, "Let's play, let's play!"
The trio exchanged looks, Lavi shrugged, and Lenalee decided to go with it, "Alright."
"Then, to my room!" The little girl cheered, already walking out of the room with Tyki behind her.
Mercym, who was still by the sink, voiced, "You'll have to excuse me."
"It's not like I expected you to tag along." Tyki retorted, and they were out of the drawing room.
Road's room was not that far; all they had to do was take the stairs of the main hall to the third floor where her room was situated. However, it was one hell of a room, if Kanda dared saying.
It was a purple room garnished with black furniture and an unlimited number of dolls, scattered everywhere. On the bed, on the floor, stuck to the closet and even the wall; heck even the night-light was doll shaped. However what stood out most was the four pink dolls that rested around a low table on the side of the room right under the window.
Kanda did not like that room.
"Open the curtains, Road. The room is too dark." Wisely said, frowning.
On their way to the room, they had encountered the girl's older brother, who happily tagged along.
"Do it yourself," Road answered, then turned to Tyki, "You've got the cards?"
"Always," he smirked. "I'm glad Allen isn't playing with us."
"Because you'd end up naked, like usual." Wisely smiled, letting information slip through his tongue on purpose.
"Is he that good of a player?" Lenalee asked.
"Of a cheater you mean." Tyki retorted, and Road criticized as she collected her dolls to put them away.
"He's just a sore loser, Allen never cheats."
Wisely took a doll and threw it on the bed, to sit on it place, after opening the curtains of the window that rested above his head, "You're just blinded by love, Road."
"And you're just a jealous boy!" she stuck her tongue out at her brother, who shrugged her off.
"Alright then," Tyki clasped twice to gain everyone's attention when they all sat around the low round table, "Shall we begin?"
"Let's go with classic," Road told Tyki, then to the trio, "Good for you that Lulu isn't here, or else she would've played for the money. We don't usually do it, we go for penalties, it's funnier that way."
"Got it." Lavi said, and Tyki started to distribute the cards.
Lenalee had wanted to inquire about the two kids who were to play with them, but opted against it; sometimes, it was better for her to not speak, as her words seemed to fuel a lot of quarrels these last days.
"Are you serious?" Wisely said, throwing his cards on the table. He had lost.
The first game ended in only fifteen minutes with the loss of a whining Wisely. It had been a long time since Lenalee played poker; she was more into monopoly and such.
"That sure is unusual." Tyki, who was the winner of the first game, smirked. "Means you're up for a penalty."
"You'd better choose a good one Tyki." Road laughed.
It took him few moments of thinking, then a bright idea popped in his head. Tyki leant of Wisely and whispered something none of the other player could grasp.
"Knowing you, I was expecting something worse." Wisely said once Tyki retreated to his place, "But this one's good."
"What is it? What is it?" Road shook her brother's shoulder whining, "Tell me!"
Tyki smiled, his index on his lips, "It's a secret. Let's move on with the second game."
"Not fair!"
Tyki collected the cards and handed them to Lenalee, "Would you give us the honor?"
The Chinese young woman blushed faintly, something that did not go unnoticed by Lavi. "Alright." She said.
The second game began and Lavi, who sucked at every game of poker, decided that he was just lucky today. Since the first game, good cards fell in his hands, and prompted him to not lose. The game went on as Road was humming a pleasant song; Lenalee seemed to be in a pinch, and Lavi hoped that she wouldn't lose. He did not fancy having her to do a penalty, but then again, he remembered his winning cards.
He realized that was the one to give her a penalty…the thought of it wasn't that bad.
"What!" Tyki said incredulous, "Allen's the only person I've ever lost to!"
"Lady luck isn't in your favor today." Road snickered.
"My win!" Lavi beamed. It was something to be marked in history, it was the first time Lavi ever won a poker game.
"What a time to be alive." Lenalee said, leaning on Lavi, who blushed, to have a better look at his cards, "Lavi won a poker game, I still can't believe it!"
"Lucky cards, that's all there is." Kanda remarked and Lavi retorted, "Accept my victory, Yu."
"Now the penalty!" Lenalee said, a little too excited
Ah, right, the penalty. Lavi had not given it much thought; in fact he had expected Lenalee to lose and thought of penalties for her only and no one else, and now, he did not really know what to give Tyki.
Seeing the redhead in a state of hesitation, Road smiled, "How about we upgrade the game a little?"
"Upgrade?" Lenalee asks.
Tyki sighed, "Here it comes."
"The loser is given by the winner either the hot penalty or the cold penalty," Road explains furthers, "These are the common penalties we're used to play with. So go on Lavi, choose one for Tyki."
"But what are the penalties?"
"Just choose, you'll know later on." Wisely pressed for a choice.
Lavi grew more hesitant than before, as he did not know what kind of penalty those two choices were, and after a moment he said, "Let's go for the cold penalty, I guess."
Wisely clicked his tongue, not hiding his annoyance; did he perhaps hope for him to chose the hot one? Tyki did not comment on his nephew's behavior and tugged out a pocket knife.
It took Lavi few moments to realize that Tyki had cold heartedly cut the palm of his hand.
"Dear Lord!" Lenalee shouted as she quickly covered the wound with her handkerchief. "Why did you do that?"
Tyki said, unfazed, "He said cold penalty and I did the cold penalty."
"Cutting yourself? What kind of penalty is this?" Lavi asked and Road shrugged.
"Cold penalty, duh."
"Who the fuck created these penalties?" the Japanese growled.
"Me," she answered, "Obviously."
"Don't be so agitated, this is how we play poker. More fun this way." Tyki said as he took his hand away from Lenalee's grasp.
"Fun? You think this is fun?" she said outraged.
"Makes you not want to lose, nah?" Wisely stated, and Lavi confirmed that they had landed in a mad place.
"Let's just stop here." He said, but Road quickly dismissed that idea from the trio's minds with a glare.
"We never play less than three games in this family. Play one more and you can leave."
There was something about that little girl, Lavi decided, something…sickening. One game, he thought as he looked at his friends; they just had to not lose and everything would be fine.
"Oh, come on. There's practically no pain." Tyki responded to Lenalee's worried face.
"Why do you even have a knife?" Lavi asked as the third game started. Kanda was the one who distributed the cards and let the game begin; Lavi was sure Kanda was at the verge of an outburst.
"You never know when or for what you'll need it." He answered, "The outside world is dangerous nowadays, and killing has become as easy as saying good morning."
"As if you've killed before," Lavi laughed nervously, and waited for a 'you're a funny pal,' response, but instead, received an indecipherable smile. The redhead froze, trying to ignore the answers his mind was giving, that was, until Lenalee elbowed him in the stomach, notifying him that it was his turn to play.
The cards were played, and the third game came to an end with Kanda's loss. Lavi looked around him; there was no way they were going to ask Kanda to do what Tyki did…right?
Road smiled and asked Wisely, "Which one?" and the latter joined his eyebrows in a frown, trying to choose.
"Don't expect me to do what that insane man did." Pointing a finger at Tyki, who felt no offense.
"Why not?"
"Because, no matter from what angle you look at it, it's just absurd!" Lavi commented, supporting his friend.
"That's right," Lenalee added.
"A little pain wouldn't hurt." Wisely deadpanned.
"Good God, even your words are absurd." Lavi put down his cards, it was time to leave. But then Wisely added, a smile widening on his face.
"But this Kanda guy is the type that doesn't mind the pain."
"Masochist?" Road put her hand on her mouth, malice written all over her face, while Tyki leant on the wall behind him, not meddling.
"Don't speak as if you know me." Kanda shot him glares, but the white haired teen paid him no heed.
"Oh but I do."
"Drop it Kanda," Lenalee said, "Let's just leave."
"You're the cold bastard with a soft heart type of guy. This resulted from a difficult childhood, your parents abandoned you," Kanda clenched his hands and Wisely continued, seeing that his words had an effect on the Japanese, "Poverty, probably, life was a bit hard in the 90s. You care, and sometimes too much, but cannot show it properly as you are afraid that people will also end up betraying you, abandoning you, hurting you…"
"You little…" Kanda growled, on the verge of losing it.
"I mean, your own blood threw you, why wouldn't everyone else?" Wisely finished, an impassive smile adorning his lips.
Before Lavi could grasp the situation, Kanda was already on his feet, holding Wisely by his collar, while his other clenched hand flew toward the Noah's face.
"Wise!" Road and Lenalee screamed at the same time, "Kanda no!" with the latter covering her eyes with both hands.
What Lenalee had expected was the sound of a hard 'thud' when Wisely would hit the floor. One, two, three, four… but no sound occurred, so she slowly uncovered her face, slightly trembling.
"What is it that you think you are doing," Allen said, holding firmly Kanda's punch, "Wisely."
His white haired cousin kept smiling throughout the whole ordeal, "Yo, Allen. You're back early."
"Let go of me moyashi!" Kanda gritted his teeth while trying to release his captive hand, "I am going to kill him!" but before he could do anything else, Tyki was already detaching Wisely from his grip. Kanda tried to catch him once more, but was barricaded by Allen who winced in pain.
"Are you alright Allen?" Road asked, but her question was eaten by the voices around.
"Come on! Is violence for you youngsters the only way to solve misunderstandings?" Tyki said, his half burnt cigarette hanging in between his white teeth.
"Kanda, calm down," Lavi stepped in, moving his friend away from the three men and Lenalee helped, putting her hands on his shoulders. Caging him.
"Wasn't Feedler's warning enough?" Allen said, eyebrows furrowed. "And Road, why haven't you done anything? You're supposed to be the sound of reason here!"
"I never thought it would go this far." She innocently shrugged.
An almost inexistent laugh escaped from Wisely's lips, "Oh, I didn't know Feedler was up to threatening children, how mean."
"I'm sorry, but that was a little bit over the bridge." Lenalee declared, still holding her friend.
"I apologize for his foolishness," Allen said, "But he meant no harm, Wisely just…talks without thinking."
"Well maybe it's time you buy him a brain, you've got plenty of money for that, don't you?" Kanda spat, exiting the room with Lenalee on his tail.
"A heart would also be appreciated." Lavi added in a low monotonous voice before setting off to catch up with his friends.
With the trio gone, Road finally got up from her spot to check up on her brother. The ajar door let slip through an icy wind that scattered the poker cards on the floor. Allen held his forehead, breathed once, twice, and then ended up screaming at his cousins for their misconduct. Wisely was a contemptible person, Tyki an imbecile and Road a cold-hearted witch, according to Allen. The three stood speechless at Allen's unusual outburst and watched as he left the room, slamming the door behind him.
"That was…something." Tyki finally said. He bent and grabbed the card that lied next to his feet, put it in his pocket, and left.
"What's wrong with them?" Wisely sighed, letting himself fall on the bed, "No one can take a joke anymore."
"That was no joke." Road said, "You seemed to be pretty knowledgeable about them, Wisely."
"You know me, reading people is my forte." He shrugged.
"Was it all it was?"
"Care to elaborate?"
She narrowed her eyes, trying to intimidate him, "You don't have to play games with me, you understood everything, haven't you?"
"So did Tyki, and the others." He lifted his chin.
The girl held his gaze for few moments then let out a sigh and sat next to him, "I just…want to protect everyone. I want this week to pass without unwanted incidents, you know?"
"Don't worry, nothing will happen." Wisely smiled. In spite of everything, Road was the only person in the mansion that still cared about everyone's safety. He gently caressed her head.
"That's my little brother for you." Road smiled, throwing a fist in the air.
"Hush," He said, "I'm supposed to play the role of the older brother. Don't blow our cover."
Unknowingly to Wisely, something cracked within Road, "Cover…huh…"
"You're still here."
Mercym turned to face his unusual interlocutor, but did not answer and simply went back to painting. Talking was never a habit of theirs; if anything, this sibling of his ever hardly spoke. Perhaps, Allen was the only good company this sibling had.
"You even skipped lunch."
It was only after few more minutes of silence that he finally answered, "So did you, I'm sure, Mightra."
It was the hooded sibling's turn to be quiet. Mightra indeed did not attend lunch; according to Mimi, the only ones present at the table were Adam, Feedler, the twins and the three guests, who were unusually silent and irritated, as noted by Feedler. Mightra was not in the mood for a happy lunch reunion, and apparently most of the siblings felt the same, especially their cousin, Allen.
"I have a favor to ask of you." Mightra said, approaching the artist. It was about two in the afternoon, no one else was around; each sibling was somewhere in the mansion, probably trying to make good memories, hoping for a better tomorrow. Hope, something Mightra had long given up on. Dreams, things that Mightra has never known; for a child that was the incorporation of a nightmare, dreams were something too bright for Mightra's existence.
Mightra often wondered how the siblings still had faith in life when their souls were imprisoned by the mansion. Freedom, happiness…such things were impossible for them, unattainable, but they still–
Mightra was interrupted by the meowing of a cat; the two siblings turned their heads and were faced by a black cat.
"Lero!" Mercym smiled and went to pet the cat, "It's good to have you back, the house without the three of you was lifeless."
Mightra joined in patting the cat, who was purring under their touch. An unconscious smile fell on Mightra's face.
Right, Mightra now remembered. It was because of silly things like these that the mansion's residents kept believing and hoping for something better.
"He, who falls into the sea, hugs the serpent." Mightra said. Their current situation was their own fault to begin with; thus, changing it was up to them. No one could save them but themselves.
Mercym noticed Mightra's clenched fists and resumed their previous talk, "How can I be of help?" He never intended to turn down Mightra. After all, that Mightra had come as far as to ask help from him.
"I want you to look out for Allen," Mightra confessed, "I worry about him."
Mercym knew where this was coming from and couldn't agree more to what Mightra was thinking. "I just hope Road won't do anything. After all," Mercym said, his eyes lost into the cat's, "Careless efforts do nothing but harm."
One, two, three…one, two, three…one, two, three…
"Whenever it's hard to breathe, just remember the happy times and you'll feel better."
Allen tried, he tried desperately to think of the happy days when all the family would gather under the enormous try of Christmas his father and uncle would personally bring from the forest near the mansion. He thought of the warmth of the chimney and the gloves Road had gifted him with, how Tryde and Lulubell were actually enjoying Tyki's antics, how Mercym and Mightra were praising Feedler's tea, how Sheryl was losing a chess game against a very young Wisely while Skinn and the twins were eating candy. Allen remembered the falling snow that covered the soil and forced them to spend their days curled in blankets enjoying the hot tea and warm laughs.
Allen frantically tried to think of happy moments, he did…he did… he tried…one, two, three… breathing was getting harder with each passing moment. The scars of his chest ignited mortification; he rested his elbows on his knees as his trembling hands held that weary head. The boy was sitting on the floor, his back met with the cold upholstered wall. He could not think anymore, all his eyes could see were the red colors of his blood, of his scars, of that fire, of that day, of his death…if only, if only he had not listened to him, then maybe…
Maybe…
'He could've lived…'
"Allen," he said, a smile forming, "It's all your fault, you realize that, right?"
Allen's lifeless gaze fell on the nightstand at his left and he automatically stretched his arm to reach the drawer. Once open, he took possession of a small white bottle with no notice. The white haired male held it for few minutes in his left gloved hand; the sobs he had desperately tried to hold, finally dropped on his cursed hand. Why did it have to turn out like this?
"WHY?"
His eyes become somber as he open the bottle with difficulty and empties it on its right hand.
One, two, three…one, two, three… he couldn't count the capsules in his dim room, but there were about twenty, he guessed from weight.
Suddenly, Allen heard hurried steps approaching him, and a bark soon followed by a bite. Allen cried in pain as he raised his hand to get it out of the dog's mouth, but in vain; he went on his knees to fight the animal, only to see him releasing him and lying on his stomach, eyes fixed on the floor.
"Tim…canpy…" Allen said after his mind was awakened. He looked around him and the mess he had made to realize what he had tried to do and how his companion had come to his rescue. "Oh, Tim…"
The boy hugs his friend, tears flowing down his cheeks. Tears of happiness, gratitude, sadness, guilt, or remorse? Probably everything packed together. He caressed the golden fur of the animal who rubbed his face against the boy's.
It took him a long while to calm down, breathe ordinarily, and be freed of those consuming thoughts and despicable memories. His scars still hurt, but he was now able to endure them, physically and emotionally.
The dog whined and Allen smiled, "I'm sorry buddy, I was…" the eighteen years old golden retriever barked and proceeded to lick his master's face who started laughing until falling to the ground.
Three small knocks on the door made the two friends stop and Allen called, "Yes?"
The door that was left ajar by the dog was opened to reveal Tyki behind it. "Hello Allen."
The white haired young man did not respond, but rather averted his eyes away from his cousin. The room was engulfed in an unpleasant darkness; the curtains were closed. No servant had come to clean the room after Allen's sudden outburst five years ago when he prohibited everyone to enter it. Even Road, who enjoyed to tease Allen, had abided it. Of course, the rule did not apply to Tyki, because Tyki did whatever he wanted.
Tyki walked in toward Allen, but stopped in his tracks when something cracked under his feet and Allen froze. "Hm?" the ebony haired male bent over and grabbed a capsule.
Even in that suffocating gloom, Allen could notice his cousin's furrowed brows.
"What's this Allen?"
No response.
Allen got up from the floor and buttoned his shirt after Tim had messed it up. That talk was pointless, especially because it was with Tyki.
Anger rose within Tyki and he smacked his cousin against the wall.
Allen whined and held his chest in fright as Tyki held the capsule in front of him, "What's the meaning of his, Allen? Why are there so many scattered on the floor? What did you do?"
"Nothing!" he screamed, fed up with all of it, "Bloody hell! I did nothing! Yet all of you just come, accuse me and leave me shattered for all you care!"
Tyki watched in shock his cousin screaming at him, clutching his shirt, and it clicked. He threw the capsule on the floor and proceeded in taking off Allen's shirt, who tried to stop him.
"What are you doing, bastard! Stop it!"
And Tyki did so, but only when the shirt was forced on the floor. He stood speechless in front of the burn marks on his cousin's chest. His fingers lingered on them and Allen had to bite his lower lip to hold a grown.
This was not the first time it happened to Allen, but each time Tyki had to see it, tears and feelings would torn his heart. He raised his eyes to finally meet Allen's hesitant grey ones, then the latter suddenly found himself in an affectionate embrace. Unspoken words and emotions were reaching him through skin contact. Tyki's hands were big, warm and gave off a feeling of security; it was electrifying, and Allen soon found himself hugging him back as tightly as he could.
Tyki buried his face in the crook of Allen's neck, his breathing tickling the younger boy. "Allen," he said in a little voice.
Allen wanted to laugh, it was not every day that Tyki spoke with such voice, but he refrained and used a hand to caress the smoker's nape, who took it as a sign of approval.
He tilted his face and captures Allen's lips, 'soft,' he thought. His hands travelled to his waist and brought him closer. 'More,' the little voice in him said, and he complied. Tyki's tongue adventured in Allen's mouth, it tasted like tobacco mixed with salty tears. It was gentle, calming, loving…everything Allen wanted it to be.
Like the good boy he was, Tim left the room, pushing the door closed behind him.
'More,' it said again.
Tyki brought a hand to Allen's face and tilted it a little so that he could have access to the neck. The older Noah kissed that snow white skin, once, twice, thrice, and then sucked it, leaving behind a little mark; he moved upwards, letting out a small sigh in Allen's ear, which made him shiver in that tight embrace. Tyki took possession of his earlobe and sucked it, slowly, gently as if he was afraid that a wrong move could break the boy. Allen moaned, hands holding into Tyki tightly.
Ah, how much he wanted him…
'More,' it demanded again, but this time Tyki's eyes flew open and he slowly detached himself from Allen who looked at him incredulously. Their eyes lingered into each others' for moments that seemed infinite…infinite, where only the two of them existed.
'If only…'
Tyki moved away, and Allen could already feel the emptiness he left within his comfort zone, his body, his heart, and life. Tyki reached for a shirt in the boy's closet and put it on Allen's shoulders, "You should wear something, we don't want you to catch a cold, now, do we?" he smiled.
"How can you be like this?" Allen asked, his eyes drowning in that golden color.
"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars."
Tyki tugged a hand in his pocket and took out a poker card that he handed Allen before leaving.
'We're all liars, aren't we?' Allen thought, as he looked at the Joker card in his hands.
For some reason or another, dinner that day had seemed kind of odd, in Lenalee's point of view that is.
Lasagna was served as main dish, and the young lady was already in the fourth bite while Tyki was still speaking of how Tryde had won their horse race the same afternoon. Lenalee, who had preferred keeping Kanda company in the drawing room as they watched Mercym paint and spoke with Feedler about his tea, missed said race that Lavi had beamed about when they reunited for dinner.
Kanda was still mad at that white haired young man named Wisely; she couldn't blame him after all, he had the right to. She, as one, did not like the way he had spoken of her bestfriend. A boy like him who grew up with a silver spoon in his mouth could never understand what Kanda had been through. However, for Lenalee, that wasn't what bugged her.
No.
That game they had played late in the morning was, in every possible way, disturbing. The worst part was that it was suggested by a mere child. How could hurting yourself be entertaining in any way?
Lenalee had known that coming here would provoke some unwanted events, but not like this, not to that extent.
She glanced at the redhead sitting next to her; Lavi was smiling, listening to Mercym talking, as he tugged a fork of lasagna in his mouth. It was a strange thing to see him smiling like that with people. After his grandfather's death, Lavi had taken refuge from society in his room, and it was a phase Lenalee did not like to remember. That reaction was to be expected, though. How could she face an empty house if her brother ever died? She wouldn't be able to, Lenalee believed. She could never imagine having dinner around an empty table. The void he would leave will be too great for her to handle.
The table she was sitting at was, however, very accepting to the fact that one of its occupant was missing. At the beginning of dinner, the Earl had said that his son, Skinn, would be absent for dinner as he was feeling ill.
No one asked questions or seemed concerned about him, and that stuck to Lenalee.
When she went back to listening what was said, Lavi was saying, 'But you are quite old.' And she heard the Earl respond, 'Oh dear, no. I am only forty-four,' or something of the sort, and she realized something.
"Sorry for interrupting," she said, earning everyone's attention, that made her quite uneasy for some reason, "But how old did you get married to have all these children?"
For the oldest, she presumed, was Mercym who looked in his thirties, and not to speak of Sheryl who already had two children.
She didn't know why, but somehow, every statement Lenalee made at dinner caused an abrupt silence. And it was something she didn't like. Prying in people's business had never felt this prohibited. Kanda and Lavi looked at her with round eyes, as if she had found the cure to cancer.
Adam put down the cutlery, cleared his throat and said whilst everyone in the table turned white, "I never married."
A small light bulb shone over the trio's heads.
"My brothers and I adopted all of these children."
Lenalee's face turned red as she understood the weight of her question. She had not been ready for what it could unravel, as if she had ventured in a museum, touching a Da Vinci painting.
Taking into hands people's true selves had not been as merry as she thought it would.
Lenalee missed Skinn's presence, as he would've been the only person not minding what was happening whilst eating his candies. What she got were either glares or lowered eyes. They were perhaps ashamed or angry that their secret was out –if it was a secret at all. Kanda glared back at many people as he could, whereas Lavi poked her repeatedly with his elbow to wake her from her reverie.
"I–I'm sorry," She stuttered, "I didn't mean to…"
To what? Their eyes said.
To dig into what was none of her business?
To bring a pregnant silence upon them?
To make them feel uncomfortable?
There was a rule, wasn't there? Taste your words before you spit them.
"Having been betrayed by our own blood, my brothers and I came to the belief that if our progeny will not be of our blood, they will never betray us." Adam continued, paying no heed to Lenalee's plea. "Tryde was the first child we adopted; he was about eight years old. Mercym came next, then Sheryl and Tyki together, Feedler was welcomed into the family only a month after the previous two. Lulubell was our first girl, she was already twelve, Mightra and Skinn followed, and then finally came the twins. They are not blood related either, but we like to call them twins as they are inseparable."
He sipped water and added, "My little brother adopted Allen at the same time I brought the twins. Road and Wisely were adopted by a very young Sheryl right after that."
After a moment of silence, finding no other words, Lavi finally said, "I see…"
"What a delicious soup." Tyki said, breaking the ice, and dinner went on as if nothing had happened.
However, what stuck Kanda most were Road's clenched hands and jaw.
Kanda was not sure if he had ever seen the rain pouring like it was at the moment in his entire life.
It was past midnight when the Japanese young man had finished his training. Leaving his house did not mean leaving his usual activities behind him as well. Kanda had trained with his sword, Mugen, for almost two hours.
That night, several of their hosts had excused themselves after dinner and did not join them for the evening, and one of them was Allen.
Allen was the person that intrigued Kanda most in the manor. He was a man with a baby's face; he had white hair that he proclaimed to be natural, and an unpleasant attitude that Kanda disliked. On a first look, Allen would have looked like any other person, if it wasn't…if it wasn't for the scar than ran down half of his face.
A red pentagram-like scar that spoke for itself. There was no way it resulted from a fall or whatsoever, Kanda knew too well; that scar was inflicted to him. However, that unwavering smile never left his thin lips.
Smiling was the trademark of that young man, but Kanda hated it, for it was a fake smile, a lie, a deceit, a mask covering unspoken truths. The white haired young man had undoubtedly been in pain when he interrupted the twisted poker game they were playing; his face was red and covered by sweat, and that little girl was aware of it. Road was her name, he made a mental note to never be alone in her presence, for she was much more than she seemed to be.
Kanda was…afraid. Not of their hosts, or servants; people do not scare him. No, he was terrified of the mansion and what it held in-between its walls.
However, fright was to be fought against as Kanda had decided that very evening to venture the manor when all light would be turned off.
He attached Mugen to his waist and set off on a hazardous adventure.
The halls were somber, not a single light was on; the Japanese took a few moments to adjust his vision to the dark before walking. The floor in which their rooms were located was, in Kanda's opinion, empty of mysteries.
After all, strangers were always put away from what wasn't meant to be found.
The architecture of the manor was unique. It was impacted by the past eras, one after the other. According to Feedler, despite having been polished in some places, nothing had been changed in the manor, and it has remained exactly as its architect built it –aside from the chapel that is.
He traced the way toward the lower floors and ended up in the open corridor that gave view on the gardens. Kanda looked at the raging storm; the howling thunder was the sole sound to be heard, and in a way, it made the manor seem more lifeless than it already was.
Just when Kanda was about to resume walking, something caught his eye. He quickly hid behind one of the pillar stones of the corridor, getting half wet by the rain. There, coming from the way of the main hall and walking in Kanda's direction, was a person holding a candle in a hand, and a small bag in the other.
Through the scar that could be seen because of the candlelight, Kanda recognized that person as Allen. Just what was he doing outside in such time?
Kanda couldn't take the risk of being found out, that would raise unwanted suspicions and Lenalee would have his head for it. The pillar wasn't as thick as he wanted it to be, it didn't hide him entirely and if Allen walked to the stairs that led to their floor right now, he would see him. There was nowhere else to hide, the gardens were wide and empty of trees, and he couldn't afford moving around the pillar, his steps would make noise in the soiled ground.
Panic arose in him; he had to do something, and quickly.
However, just as he was to move, Allen stopped in his tracks. Kanda froze.
Allen looked around him, as if to make sure he wasn't followed and unlocked the door of the tower, before disappearing behind it. Kanda let out a breath he didn't realized he was holding.
He moved, slowly, but surely. He was soaked wet by the rain. Kanda walked to the door behind which Allen must be, and traced it with his fingers. It was a giant wooden door with golden D and C letters craved on it; he put his ear on the door, but no sound was heard.
Kanda did not know what was behind that door, he had noticed that there was a similar one on the floor below his room, while in his appointed floor were stone stairs. That tower was a mystery that made no sense in an architectural face. Two doors, and stone stairs; why would the doors be locked if those stairs led to what was behind the doors? Unless…
A logical voice popped out and told him to go away from that door because it was bad news, but something, something was calling him. He put his hand of the doorknob and turned it open.
His mouth went dry.
What met his gaze was a simple rounded room whose walls were hidden behind books. The room was spacious and its ceiling seemed farther than the sky itself; it had no windows, just books, a desk, a leather chair and a chimney.
But there was no Allen.
Kanda entered the room, cautiously. It was dimply lit by the candle Allen had been holding; he approached the desk on which lied a book next to the candle. Frankenstein, by Marry Shelley.
Kanda walked around the room, looking for something, anything, but found no logical explanation. He tugged out books from the shelves, touched the chimney in search for a hidden passage like in movies, but in vain. He knew it, something was wrong with that manor. And then, he heard murmurs, clenches his fists, tried to grasp a meaning, but it had seemed to be laughter buried under the rain. Kanda took few steps back and opened the door while still looking at the book. A strong wind whirled, blowing off the candle, leaving darkness to swallow the room. The Japanese took a leap out of the room and closed the room with more force than intended.
His heart was hammering in his ribcage; he still had his hand on the doorknob and quickly took it off upon realizing.
The storm was still making a ravage. His feet unconsciously walked the way Allen had came from, remembering why he was out if first place while trying to forget what had just happened.
Suddenly, a foreign hand grabbed his shoulder and he automatically unleashed his sword, bringing it to the neck of whoever was behind him.
"Chill man, it's me!" Lavi said, fright evident in his voice. He had his hands in the air as tears threatened to come out any second.
"You–" Kanda started but the words died in his throat. Lavi was the last person he would ever say it to. He put Mugen in its leash, and the redhead let out a sigh of relief.
"Why so tense? I only touched you." Lavi said, regaining his usual composure.
"Shut it."
Lavi blinked, something was wrong with his friend. This wasn't the Kanda he knew.
The Kanda he knew never lost his composure like that.
The Kanda he knew never looked so…
"What happened to you?" Lavi asked, facing Kanda with a determined look. Kanda leaned on the wall behind him and closed his eyes.
'What's wrong with me?'
"Kanda?"
He met worried emerald eyes and sighed. He opened his mouth and told his friend everything. Lavi's face remained passive through the whole story, and Kanda, well Kanda had tried his best to not let his emotions show –even if Lavi could see through him.
And when he finished narrating, Lavi smirked, "I've always known you had the LenKanLav Paranormal Investigations in you."
"Fuck off." He said, a small smile slipping from his lips as he realized that those dreadful feelings left him. And for a moment he was angry at himself; why could Lavi ease him up with only a sentence and he couldn't do the same for the stupid rabbit? It was at times like these that he felt like he didn't deserve his friendship.
"Come on." Lavi said, dragging him by the arm.
"Where to?"
"Finish what you started," he smiled, "You wanted to venture in the main hall and its rooms, right?"
That fucking rabbit was the best friend every person asked for.
They took the first stairs that they met and climbed to the third floor of the main building. The hall was stone made, with tapestries coloring the dull walls, and on what they judged to be the middle of the hall was the balcony they had seen when they first crossed the gated of the manor. It glass door was closed, just like any other door in the corridor.
The rain seemed to have lessened and the thunder stopped; the night rolled in a calm rainy symphony. Right before the end of the hall, was a lighted torch hanged on the wall that lighted a small left turning. The two men looked at each other and nodded. They walked noiselessly in the direction of the light and heard faint voices echoing in the corridor they took.
Kanda tensed, but soon realized that it wasn't the same voices; this time there was a feminine voice dancing with a man's.
There were two doors facing each other in that corridor and the one that had stairs next to it was ajar. Orange light slipped through the small opening and the voices became stronger as they approached it.
Gulping, they let their eyes look through the ajar door and what they saw made them nauseous. Sheryl on bed with someone, but the shocking part was who his partner was.
Sheryl was on top of Road, kissing her, touching her, pleasing her as she let out moans.
The sight was gross and for a moment neither one of the two men breathed. Their minds went blank, no logical thought popped in. Unconsciously, Kanda let out a curse loud enough for one of the persons on the bed to hear.
"Did you hear that?" Road said, pushing Sheryl's face from her chest.
"Umpf," he complained, "It's the just the rain."
Kanda and Lavi stood up, frozen, wishing for them to brush the topic off, and continue whatever…they were doing.
"I am sure it wasn't," she furrowed her eyebrows, "I heard a voice, go check."
"It wasn't–" Sheryl tried to say, but Road cut him in an icy tone.
"I said, go check."
Sheryl remained silent for few second, and then they heard the bed creak.
They were frozen in spot not able to do anything, and at the verge of being found out, a cat's loud meowing echoed in the corridor. Right in front on them sat a cat whose blue eyes shone in that dark place as the thunder roared. A meow followed another to finally settle into a deep ear slitting scream that enabled them to move.
Kanda just ran behind Lavi, not even minding if it as the right way toward their rooms or not; thoughts were scattered inside of his mind, he didn't know what to think of what they saw. They passed long corridors, turned several times, and climbed endless stairs; each spot differed from the other, the eerie silence being the only common point in that dire manor.
"What the heck man!" Lavi said, out of breath, closing the door of his room behind them.
"I fucking don't know." Kanda said.
But he knew and so did Lavi; yet, neither of them dared to speak of it, and Kanda returned to his respectable room in silence.
"Mind telling us the reason you want to go? It's not about the architecture, now, is it?" Kanda asked.
"Secrets are meant to be uncovered. And I want to know what kind of secrets that manor holds." Lenalee said, her smile stretching a little bit wider for Kanda's liking.
Kanda was not sure anymore if he wanted to unfold those secrets Lenalee seemed to be so fond of.
That night, sleep paid the two men no visit, and the storm went on howling.
Broken Dollhouse
A/N:
*emerging from the ground* I'm alive!
Ahhhhhh, good to be back with a new chapter. A lot has happened here and there's a lot more to come. I hope you enjoyed reading this!
That incest was not so incest, now, was it :3? They are all adopted and no one is blood related to the other. There seems to be something creepy going on in that mansion, poor LenKanLav, they're having it hard *evil laugh* Also, don't mind the poker game scenes pls, I totally suck at it and writing was was really a challenge.
Ah! Before I forget, do you think I should change the rating to M after this chapter or is T fine?
I debated on whether to do that kissing scene between Allen and Tyki (bcs i did not intend to do it) but then my fingers just won and wrote it on their own, cheers for the poker pair fans! Many disturbing events took place in this chapter, because, hey! That family is a twisted one!
If you have any questions or comments, don't hesitate to review or text me, I'll make sure to answer.
Once again, thank you for reading!
See you next chapter~
