Here's the next chapter. Before you start beating me up, let me warn you that I've made some changes to the story to avoid copyright issues. All in all it's still The Princess Bride Danny Phantom style! Please don't hate me!


Chapter 2

The second traveler, Kwan, took the unconscious Sam off of her scooter. The leader, Lancer, tore off a piece of Sam's dress and tied it to the bars of the scooter. He then let it go forward to who knows where. They then prepared a boat that would take them to the neighboring kingdom of Elmer.

The third traveler, Tucker, looked confused as Lancer did this. "What did you just do?"

Lancer chuckled to himself. "I just sent a piece of the princess's dress to the kingdom of Amity. The people there will think the people of the neighboring kingdom of Elmer abducted her. And when Amity realizes that Elmer murdered their beloved princess, then there will be war."

That made Kwan nervous. "Uh…y-y-you didn't say anything about killing her! I don't like it."

"The Princess Bride! I've hired you to start a war!" Lancer exclaimed. "It's a esteemed line of work, with a long and celebrated tradition!"

Tucker whispered to Kwan. "That explains a lot of the wars in history."

"Yeah," Kwan said, "but I just don't think it's right, killing an innocent girl."

Lancer started to lose his temper. "Am I going mad, or did the word 'think' escape your lips? You were not hired for your brains; you were hired for your brawn, you simpleton."

Tucker agreed. "I'm with Kwan on this one. She's too pretty to be killed. If she wasn't engaged to Prince Aragon, I would have taken a shot at her."

Lancer then turned to Tucker. "Oh, the sot has spoken. What happens to her is not truly your concern. I will kill her. And remember this, never forget this: when I found you, you were so slobbering drunk, you couldn't buy whiskey!" Lancer then turned back to Kwan. "And YOU: friendless, brainless, helpless, hopeless! Do you want me to send you back to where you were? Unemployed, in Cleveland?"

The boat then set sail.

"That Lancer… he can fuss," said Tucker in a tone that Kwan recognized.

"Oh! Fuss…fuss…Ah! I think he likes to scream at us!" he said excitedly as the two started their favorite rhyming game.

Tucker chuckled. "He probably means no harm."

Kwan snickered. "He's really, very short on charm." This was fun.

"You, my friend, have a great gift of rhyme," Tucker complimented.

"Yeah…yeah, most of the time."

Lancer was starting to get annoyed. "Enough of that! Get to your stations!"

Tucker wasn't going to quit yet. "Hey, Kwan! Are there rocks up ahead?"

"If there are, we'd all be dead!" Kwan exclaimed happily.

Lancer had enough. "No more rhymes now! I mean it!"

"Anybody want a peanut?"

"GAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"


Wanda was interrupted by Timmy's laughter, which quickly turned into a coughing fit.

Wanda gave him another cough drop.

"Thanks, Wanda! Sorry for scaring you! That part gets funnier every time I hear it!"


Sam moaned as she slowly woke up. She found herself on a wooden sailboat accompanied by the three travelers who knocked her out. She scowled at them. Too bad none of them saw it.

"We'll reach the cliffs at dawn," Lancer announced.

"So that's what you're doing, huh? Throwing me off of a cliff?" Sam said as bravely as she could. Lancer jumped surprised his hostage was awake.

"Ah, the princess is awake!" he said calmly. Sam glared daggers at him, trying to look tough. "My name is Mr. Lancer from the country of Sicily. That is Kwan," he pointed to the Asian giant, "and that is Tucker Foley." He pointed to the dark-skinned man who was staring at the horizon behind them. "And I would like to know why you keep doing that!" He shouted to Tucker.

Tucker shrugged. "Just making sure we're not being followed," he said innocently.

The man scoffed. "That would be inconceivable," he said confidently.

Now it was Sam's turn to scoff. "Despite what you think, you're gonna get caught anyway. When Aragon catches you, it will be off with all of your heads."

"Of all the necks on this boat, princess," the Sicilian said, "the one you should be worried about is your own." Tucker looked back at the horizon again. "Stop doing that! We can all relax, it's almost over!"

Sam chuckled. What idiots! This is obviously their first job. Hard to believe how inexperienced these idiots were.

"Mr. Lancer, are you sure that were not being followed?" asked Tucker.

"I told you, Mr. Foley, it would be completely, totally, and in all other ways inconceivable." Lancer replied. "No one in Elmer knows what we've done, and no one in Amity could have gotten here so fast." He leaned back pleased with himself and closed his eyes. A split-second later he opened one eye. "Out of curiosity, why do you ask?"

Tucker shrugged. "Oh, no reason," he said casually. "It's just that that I looked behind us and there's something there."

"WHAT?" The three men looked where Tucker was pointing. Sure enough, there was a shadow shaped like a ship coming in their direction. It was pretty far but it could easily catch up to them. Lancer tried not to jump to conclusions. "Perhaps it's just a local fisherman out for a pleasure cruise at night…in shark-infested waters."

SPLASH!

The three men turned around and saw that their captive jumped ship when they weren't looking. Clearly, she didn't hear the part where Lancer mentioned that the waters were full of sharks.

"10,000 Leagues Under the Sea!" Lancer exclaimed. He turned to Tucker. "Jump in after her!"

"I can't swim," Tucker said. Lancer turned to Kwan.

"I only dog-paddle."

"GRRRRRR!"

Sam was about twenty feet from the boat when a horrible ghostly wail filled the night air. If one can manage to listen carefully (provided their eardrums don't start bleeding), Sam could have sworn the wail sounded like it was wailing her name.

"SSSSAAAAAAAAMMMMM!"

A large dorsal fin suddenly appeared five feet from her face. She gasped. Sharks! Several more fins surfaced from the water slowly circling around her. Lancer decided to use the sharks as the source of the wail to scare Sam back into the boat.

"Do you know what that sound is, Highness? Those are the Wailing Sharks. If you don't believe me, just wait. They always grow louder when they're about to feed on human flesh!" Normally, Sam would retort by saying there was no such thing but now was not the time for arguments. "If you swim back now, I promise, no harm will come to you. I doubt you'll get such an offer from a shark."


Wanda looked up again when she heard a strange noise. It was just Timmy chewing on his pink hat.

"Will you calm down?" she asked exasperatedly. "You know she doesn't get eaten by the sharks!"

"I know that! Eels I can handle, but why did you make it sharks?" Timmy asked.

"Do you want me to get sued for copyright issues?"

"No."

"Then sharks it is! Now spit out your silly pink hat so I can continue the story."


Before one of the sharks could even take a bite out of the Goth, Kwan punched the shark in the snout and scooped her back into the boat.

"Put her down! Put her down!" ordered Lancer. Kwan did as he was told as Lancer started binding Sam's wrists. Tucker looked back at the fast-approaching ship.

"Dude! I think the ship is getting closer!"

"He is no concern of ours!" Lancer yelled. "Sail on!"

He then glared at Sam. "I suppose you think you're very brave, don't you?"

Sam scowled at the man. "I'm a lot braver than you!"

The rest of the voyage was in silence. Occasionally looking at the mysterious ship that was slowly getting closer.

By dawn, they were closer to their destination. Tucker looked back for the umpteenth time. "Man! He's even closer than he was ten minutes ago! You think he's using the same wind we're using?"

"What difference does it make? Whoever he is, he's too late now! Behold! The Cliffs of Lunacy!" announced Lancer. Sam looked and saw very high cliffs. A fall from a height like that would surely kill her. Why they were called the Cliffs of Lunacy she'll never know. "Hurry up! Move the thing! And…that other thing!" he ordered.

Looks like they were expected since there was a harness waiting for them. Lancer began gloating victoriously. "Looks like we're safe from our mystery friend," he said as Kwan fasted Sam to the harness he put on. "Kwan is the only one I know who is strong enough to pull us to the top. Our mystery friend will be circling for hours to find a harbor."

Sam was shocked as Kwan started climbing the rope (Tucker and Lancer were also fastened). Lancer wasn't kidding! Kwan is strong.

Tucker looked down and his eyes widened. "Dude! He's climbing the rope! And he's gaining on us! Man, he's fast!"

"Inconceivable!" Lancer said in shock. He looked at Kwan. "Faster! Pick up the pace!"

"But Mr. Lancer," Kwan whined, "I thought I was going faster!"

Lancer growled in frustration. "Jack and the Beanstalk! You're supposed to be this Goliath! And yet he gains!"

"But I'm carrying three people," Kwan complained. "He's only carrying the clothes on his back!"

"No excuses!" Lancer scolded. "Go faster or I'll find myself a new giant!"

"Please don't fire me, Mr. Lancer," Kwan whined.

They finally reached the top of the cliffs. They removed their harnesses and tossed them aside. Sam could tell they were standing in the ruins of an abandoned arcade.

She managed to get a glimpse of him. His glowing aura meant one thing: he's a ghost! Not that Sam's surprised; ghosts wander around Amity all the time. Now that Sam thought about it, she's seen that ship before in a book. That's the pirate ship Siren. It's the same ship the Dread Pirate Phantom captained. Then that must mean Phantom is the one following them. Hopefully her captors haven't recognized him yet. She'll take her chances with Phantom. Sam's only heard rumors that Phantom was an actual ghost. If he was a ghost, why isn't he flying to the top of the cliffs?

Sam's train of thought was broken when she saw Lancer cut the rope!


I hope y'all are enjoying this story as much as I'm enjoying writing it!

I had to include Phantom's Ghostly Wail because...well...I always...thought...it was cool. For those who are wondering, the Kingdom of Elmer comes from Amity Park's neighboring town, Elmertown. I think it's in the episode, "D-Stablized."

Review folks! Lend me your opinions! Because if you don't, well that would be...INCONCEIVABLE!