Disclaimer: I can't claim anything belongs to me- that would mean I owned Mouth and Jamie... HA.

A/N: Once again, thank you guys for the reviews- keep 'em coming cos I love them! A couple of things- there will be no Nathan/Peyton relationship- friendship yes, banter yes, NO to coupling. I love Brooke, but I'm not going to be writing her that nicely for a while- but I do love her! There is some swearing in this chapter so be prepared and apart from that enjoy :)

Peyton sat in the changing rooms of Tree Hill High's gym, willing herself to stand up and walk through the doors into the main hall. Come on Sawyer, you can do this, it's like ripping off a band aid, quick and easy, jump up and dive through the doors. For a millisecond she actually thought she had convinced herself to do it and then realised she was still sitting, slumped against the wall, not having moved. She sighed and glanced over to the window- maybe she could have a quick cigarette... The door swung open and Haley came through them looking deep in thought. She stopped dead in her tracks as she saw Peyton, clad in a cheerleaders outfit, cross legged and an almost trapped expression on her face. Haley scoffed and dropped her bag on the floor.

"I thought Brooke was kidding when she said Rachel had asked you to turn up to these things- man sometimes I swear that girl's only aim in life is to drive me as crazy as possible."

Peyton gave the faintest glimmer of a smile, "looks like she's found a new subject in me if it helps."

Haley shook her head and sat down to pull on her sneakers, "it doesn't."

"Look," Peyton untangled herself and got up, "I think I ought to apologise- whatever crap you and Nathan have going on you really didn't need me making dumbass jokes like the one I did earlier. You didn't ask for it and I shouldn't have said it," she shrugged uncomfortably, "I'm sorry ok?"

Haley stared up at her for a second and then smiled faintly, "you're not that great at apologising are you?"

Peyton shrugged again, smirking, "it's not my favourite thing in the world."

"Fair enough," Haley nodded slowly and then looked up at her, "so why are you doing this- I mean if you hate the idea of it already why bother?"

"Cause I wanna see the look on Brooke's face when I actually turn out to be good," Peyton said smirking.

Haley laughed, "not exactly a decent reason."

Peyton twirled jokingly and kicked her leg up behind her, "yeah but it's better than actually wanting to do this for the sheer joy of it." She stopped and lifted her hands up, "besides it'll keep me busy and it'll keep Nate happy, he needs a friend to have his back here."

Haley's face fell, "oh right. So you and Nathan..."

"We're just friends," Peyton said firmly.

The relief on Haley's face was palpable, "ok." There was a pause and then she took a chance, Peyton could almost see the question coming before she said it, "do you guys ever- you know- talk about me?"

Peyton exhaled hard, she didn't want to betray Nathan's confidence but she knew deep down he was still completely in love with this girl. Finally she hunched her shoulders up and said, "look I really can't talk for Nathan but if I were you I wouldn't give up the fight just yet." She pulled a face, "I better get out there."

"Hey-" Haley called after her and Peyton twisted, raising an eyebrow, "thanks, you know- for saying that."

"It's not every day I meet a couple who are married and separated before they're old enough to drink," Peyton said lightly, "I guess I'm curious to see if love will win out." She gave the Haley a final smile and then disappeared through the doors and into the corridor.

Oh man this was it. She scowled, she was furious at herself for even doing this but a tiny part of her had always been curious about this world. Why was it so fascinating? What did people like Nathan and Lucas, and even the girls, get from basketball that they couldn't seem to find anywhere else?

"Ahh excellent, is it my birthday already?" She turned and shot Nathan a drop dead look and he grinned, "I'm kidding. But you clean up good in a cheerleading outfit Sawyer."

"Well thanks," she raised her eyebrows, "what are you doing here?"

"I came to watch," he said innocently. She punched his arm and he laughed holding up his hands, "Ok ok, I was here for practice but it's been cancelled. There's gonna be a meeting tonight about my coach maybe getting fired."

Her eyes widened, "what? Why?"

"Ahh," he rolled his eyes, "it's my dad trying to be an ass, as usual."

"Something we have in common," she said lightly.

He shrugged, "I got used to it but now, it's like he's on a personal mission to bring down everyone around him."

Peyton pulled a sympathetic face and touched his arm, "I'm sorry Nathan. Is there anything I can do?"

"Yeah- will you come hang out later- find out if he makes it through? I could use some moral support considering the worse half of my family will be there."

She nodded of course, "after my trial?"

"Yeah, thanks." He gave her a faint smile and then inclined his head towards the gym, "go make me proud Sawyer."

She lifted her eyes skyward and then nodded, "ahh fine!" They high fived and then low fived, giggling she rolled her eyes, "we're so lame," she muttered, before making her way inside the gym. The doors shut loudly behind her and she made her way across what felt like a mile of floor before she reached the table where Rachel, Bevin, Brooke and Haley were sitting.

She kept her arms crossed and stood in front of them, Brooke smirked, "well, great posture there blondie."

Ignoring the temptation to lean over and smack the smug look off her face Peyton lifted an eyebrow before straightening up to her full 5"9 height. Rachel raised her eyebrows and nodded, "you can stand over there," she gestured, "follow our directions and we'll see just how good my instincts are."

Peyton bit her lip; she was such a bloody masochist. It was like she was asking for the humiliation. What would her father think about this? He'd despise it- distracting her from studying, making her seem like an airhead and too many boys and parties for his liking. Suddenly her mood brightened; anything she did that her dad would dislike made her extremely happy.

"Alright Peyton," Rachel stood up and began to wave her arms about. Peyton took a deep breath and wished she was drunk enough to do this without dying a little bit inside. Rachel twirled and then pointed at Bevin, "hit the music Bev."

Bevin jumped up and ran over to the cd player, waving at Peyton brightly as she did so, "good luck Peyton!"

"Thanks," Peyton murmured. To her surprise the music wasn't bad and she found she could keep up with Rachel easily. After about five minutes Rachel nodded and stopped the music. Peyton felt breathless but triumphant, she knew she'd been good. The rest of the table, bar Brooke, were grinning and the cheerleading team clapped and cheered from the stands where they were sitting watching.

Brooke raised her eyebrows, "ok, well, that wasn't bad but we saw a lot of girls today so we'll be in touch ok?"

She'd have to wait? Peyton rested a hand on her hip and tilted her head, "you can't just make a decision now?"

"I think we need to discuss it some more."

"Brooke-"

"Girls," Brooke said firmly before smiling sarcastically up at Peyton, "we'll call you."

"Look can't I just go stand outside for five minutes, let you guys talk and then you can call me in and tell me? I mean it's not like there have been a lot of us trying out in the first place," Peyton gestured to the three other girls sitting talking in the corner.

Brooke narrowed her eyes, "are you going to tell me how to do my job?"

"Why? Do you need me to? I wasn't aware you needed instructions but if so-"

"What is your problem?"

"I kind of take issue with anyone that talks about me behind my back and then acts like she didn't do anything wrong," Peyton said taking a step forward as Brooke stood up.

"Really? And who are you to talk miss loner? When I know you've been messing around with Nathan and you've been talking to Lucas."

"What?" Peyton said raising an eyebrow, "are there rules about talking to guys now?"

"There are for people like you," Brooke hissed back, "I mean come on, are you planning on majoring in being a whore next year or something and just practicing now?"

"Bitch-"

"Peyton! Brooke!" Haley stood up quickly and placed a hand on Brooke's shoulder, pushing her back down, "can we just leave this for now please?"

Peyton shrugged, "whatever. I really don't need this." She turned and stalked out of the gym, ignoring Haley and Rachel calling after her.


Storming across the parking lot she dropped her bag and swore loudly.

"Wow- way to scare the crows," a voice joked behind her.

She straightened up from scrabbling around picking up sketches and was about to tell the kid where to go when she realised it was Lucas. She bit her tongue and ran a hand through her hair, "someone's gotta do it and all the cheerleaders are busy."

He grinned and bent down to pick up the last few pieces of paper, "these are really good," he said incredulously, "do you have them printed?"

She snatched them from his hands, "no," she said shortly, "they're personal."

"Ok," he said softly, "I was just curious."

"Well don't be! From now on you have to have a pass just to talk to me unless you want your girlfriend to be more of a bitch than she already is," she said angrily before turning and walking towards her car.

He jogged after her in confusion, "hey Peyton wait a minute," he caught her arm and she turned in surprise, "what are you talking about?" His blue eyes searched hers, "what happened?"

She pulled out of his grip, his fingers felt like they were burning into her skin and threw her bag in the car, "let's just say Brooke doesn't like me."

"Why not?"

She raised her eyebrows, "oh please Lucas, as if you don't know."

His face flushed red, was he that obvious? "Well- I-"

"I'm not a nice person," she said flatly.

"Oh-" he fell silent, that wasn't what he had been expecting her to say. Finally he recovered, "look that's not true. I mean you might not act like you it but you are nice Peyton."

"No trust me, I'm not. You're better off not knowing me Lucas."

"That's not true, I don't believe you."

"More fool you then. Look all I do is bring trouble around."

"You say that now Peyton but just look at how you are with Nathan."

She frowned, "I don't follow."

Lucas shrugged, "he's been in such a dark place all summer and it really hasn't been fun for us all trying to get through to him. But you-" his eyes met hers suddenly and she swallowed, "you just appeared like a ray of light or something and you were good to him. He's happier now," he exhaled hard, "and that's good... for him."

She found she couldn't quite speak for a second and then she nodded shortly, "well I guess I can cross save a Scott brother off my list of things to do this year."

He smiled slowly at her and looked as though he might say something more when suddenly a voice called out across the parking lot, "Lucas!"

He turned; his face like a deer caught in headlights and then glanced back at Peyton guiltily, "nice knowing you," she said softly.

He gave her the faintest of smiles and then moved across the parking lot, "Brooke- hey."

"What are you doing?"

"Umm- I was just coming in for the team meeting."

"No I mean talking to her! Lucas she's not to be spoken to- you know what she and Nathan are doing to Haley."

"Brooke- I really don't think there's anything going on there."

"You're defending her?! How can you defend her? You don't even know her!"

"Brooke look-"

"No Lucas, you should have heard some of the things she said to me in the gym!"

Peyton couldn't take listening to this for a minute longer, what was it about this girl and talking about her? Did she have nothing else to do than be paranoid? She moved away from the car and took a step towards them, "Brooke if you have something to say why don't you just say it to my face?"

Brooke turned from staring up at Lucas and narrowed her eyes, "fine," she shrugged, "I think you're a manipulative shrew."

"Oh careful with the big words there- make sure you know what they mean."

"You know- you are so not welcome here. No-one wants you here, why don't you just run off back home to mom and dad and not come back here."

Peyton felt a twinge of pain as the word came up and then stamped on it, no weakness here.

"Brooke that's enough," Lucas said firmly.

"Shut up Lucas."

Peyton was silent for a second and then flicked back her hair and shook her head, "you're right." She looked up and met Brooke's eyes coldly, "you don't want me here and I don't want to be here. But here we are and I can't help it anymore than you can. So could you not just let it go? Just leave me to do my thing and have my life and-" she swallowed, "and I'll leave you to your life and your people," she couldn't look at Lucas as she said the last part. All of a sudden he was too complicated for her to handle and however many wonderful things he could say to her- she couldn't cope with it right now. She turned away from his blue eyes staring at her like he'd been betrayed and began to walk back to her car. That was it then. No cheerleading, no friends, no life. Same old, same old.


She drove into town and searched for a bar, she needed a strong drink. Slipping her jeans on under the stupid cheerleading skirt, she dropped it on the floor of her back seat and pulled a hoodie over the top. Slicking eyeliner across her lids she tried to avoid eye contact with herself. The things Lucas had said and then almost said and then- Brooke. Why was there always one evil bitch that managed to get right under her skin? And how did she have a hold over someone like Lucas? Someone that seemed to have dignity and intelligence and respect and oh god the most beautiful blue eyes she'd ever seen.

She had no trouble with ID- she'd had a fake one ever since she'd lived in Tulsa, a million years ago. Back then she'd been happy, she'd had friends, she'd had- well, she'd had a good life. She sat at the almost empty bar, lighting matches and dropping them in the nearly full ashtray in front of her. She felt unclean; like she'd sold her soul to the devil, ha maybe that was exactly what she had done. She nursed a shot glass between two fingers and a thumb, tipping it this way and that before taking a breath and downing it. She gasped slightly and inclined her head to the bar guy, "keep 'em coming would you please?"

He nodded silently and poured her another; thank god he wasn't feeling like being sociable either. She narrowed her eyes and decided he could look like Diego Luna in the right light, not bad, not bad. She twisted in her chair and surveyed the bar. It was dingy and looked unclean and uncared for. "Hey," she said suddenly. The bar guy raised an eyebrow to imply he was listening. "Is there anywhere, you know, different in town? Like, where does all the live music happen?"

He frowned, "live music?"

"Yeah you know, gigs and stuff."

There was a long pause and then suddenly he shouted through to the back room, "hey David this chick wants to know if there are any gigs in town."

She felt her face flame up and wished she hadn't bothered. A voice shouted back, "in Tree Hill? Ha!"

The bar guy turned back to her and shrugged, "he doesn't know any places either."

She sighed and slid off her stool; she could so not stay in here now. Once you spoke to a bartender they were generally pretty chatty all night. "Thanks anyway," she muttered.

As she headed outside she realised her cell phone was buzzing and she picked it up, "Nate?"

"Hey where are you?"

"Oh crap Nate I'm sorry! You missed a major showdown between me and Brooke and I had to get out of there."

"Oh man I missed it? Ok well we'll have to reschedule and this time can there be mud?"

In spite of herself she laughed, "shut up. Hey if you want me to come to this discussion thing I'm gonna need a lift by the way."

"Why?" Nathan chuckled, "are you at the docks or something fleeing the country?"

"No! I save that for really special occasions. I'm at some bar in town called Benton's. Drinking had to be done."

"Sawyer it's only five past five!"

"It's Friday," she retorted.

He laughed down the phone and then nodded, "fine I'll be there in ten minutes. Stay where you are."

"Thanks dude," she said briefly before hanging up and steadying herself on the pavement. Wow those shots had gone to her head. She grabbed her bag from the car and stuffed the now useless cheerleading uniform into it- she might as well return it to Rachel now rather than keep it all weekend. She reached into the back for the sketches she'd dropped earlier and sighed as she stared down at them. They meant nothing. She wanted them to mean something. She wanted them to be like the full life she craved for herself. The voice in her head pointed out that she would never have a full life if she kept pushing people away. She shushed it angrily and then threw them back onto the seat. Behind her Nathan pulled up and honked his horn. She grinned and waved and he rolled his eyes.

"You're so not sober Sawyer."

She jumped into the passenger seat and they high fived, "shut up and drive," she said smiling widely.

"You did not just say that," he shook his head, "lord I'm friends with a geek."

"Shut up!"

They pulled back into school and she sighed, "I thought I'd left this place behind for the weekend."

Nathan pulled an apologetic face, "sorry- I promise as soon as I know Whitey's gonna be ok we can go and get you properly drunk."

Her face lit up, "and can we get doughnuts too?"

He chuckled as they got out of the car, "if it'll make you happy."

"Ahh," she swung an arm round his shoulder, "you're a good friend Nathan Scott."

They walked across the parking lot with her arm around his neck but as they neared the group of cheerleaders she dropped her arm like a stone. To her surprise this time both Haley and Bevin waved. She waved back and Nathan looked at her in surprise, "what, now you're friends with my wife?"

She bit her lip, "not exactly- look she just wanted to talk," she held up a hand, "don't worry- I had your back, I didn't tell her about the nights you spent crying over her at basketball camp."

He jabbed her in the ribs and then shrugged casually, "did you umm- you know- talk about me?"

She rolled her eyes, "you're both as bad as each other."

Nathan was silent for a second, staring across at his beautiful wife, smiling at something Bevin was saying. He sighed, "it really hurts you know?" He said softly.

For a second she was shocked at the admittance and then nodded, "yeah I do. But you're the only one that can make it better Nate- it seems like she really wants things fixed."

He shrugged, "maybe someday."

"No Nathan! You only get one life!" As she was speaking Rachel approached them, smirking.

"Nathan," she said flirtatiously.

He looked her up and down and then looked away, "what's up Rachel?"

"Still wishing you'd stayed with me instead of hooking up with tutorgirl?"

He turned back to look at her, his blue eyes flashing, "not for a second," he said finally.

She rolled her eyes, "whatever," she faced Peyton, "so that was an interesting performance you put on in there emo girl."

Peyton raised her eyebrows, "um thanks?"

"Don't mention it. Anything that gets Brooke that riled up is fun for me, so," Rachel shrugged, "you got the job."

Peyton spluttered on air and Nathan's eyes widened incredulously beside her, "she did what?"

"You heard me. Rehearsals are on week nights at four except on game nights when you need to be here at six. We have an away game next weekend so you'll need to clear your schedule," she raised an eyebrow, "as full as I can imagine it is I'm sure it won't be that difficult."

Peyton resisted the urge to give a sarcastic reply and instead nodded, "'kay."

Rachel then shocked both Nathan and Peyton and even herself by really smiling suddenly, "see you Monday."

"Yeah," Peyton said faintly, "see you then."

Nathan turned to her chuckling, "oh you're in there now Sawyer."

"Pinch me," she said vaguely, "that so did not just happen."

He threw an arm over her shoulder, "Nathan is proud."

"Yeah," Peyton suddenly smiled, "yeah I guess I am a little bit too."

Obviously there will now be much Leyton angst- my favourite thing ever :D