The constant murmurs finally dimmed, the line of the petitioners was slowly getting smaller. Like on all these days, when the public was allowed to bring their petitions up to the first chair of Aydindril, people had besieged the palace since early morning hours to be heard by the Confessors. The day seemed to stretch endlessly; time had passed as viciously as resin bled from tapped wood. Some had stood in groups while waiting, heatedly debating their cases, others had sit silently, brooding, and some had waited nervously, permanently fidgeting with their packs, completely intimidated by the unfamiliar and impressive atmosphere inside these halls of the palace. Simple peasants were waiting beside noblemen, men beside women, servants beside soldiers. To the first chair it did not count who they were and were they came from. They had all the same right to speak to the Mother Confessor in these public audiences. A few of them had even brought their own food, jealously watching that no one came too near to steal it. It was not necessary, though, because the palace´s servants saw for all of them, providing them with food and water while they awaited their turn. Mistress Sanderholt, who was all around, watched over all, surveying a fair dispersal and offering calming words every now and then or a warm hug if she felt it needed,.

While the setting sun already started to wrap the palace into a beaming orange light Kahlan felt exhaustion nagging at her mind. Finally she found the last ones standing in front of her; a family, coming from a small village near Aydindril, who had arrived on late afternoon; an almost palpable aura of despair wavering around them. Despite their late arrival they had been allowed to line up with the others. All of them had the same right to receive her imparted attention, her compassion and her patience. Kahlan would never complain. But after more than 12 hours and uncounted cases to judge she got tired, her focus became a little blurred and she sent a silent plea to the spirits to let this day come to an end. Her head wanted to burst with all the worries that had rained down on her constantly during the day, and the image, that flickered up whenever her thoughts lost a bit of their focus, hadn´t make her duty easier.

- It had been on her way to the council hall this morning. All at once she had felt her; sensed her before her eyes had seen her. A tickling on her neck had made her gaze search for her. The blonde had stood silently between the pillars, barely visible; her face shadowed with an unfamiliar expression of sorrow as she stared at her querying as if staring right into her soul. The same moment she realized Kahlan´s scrutiny, she had turned and melted back into the shadows like a ghost, and the brunette had shortly wondered if she had not been. Since then she felt unable to ban that look from her mind. To ban the question of what that look might have tried to tell her…

An ungentle nudge from her sister, sitting to her left, almost startled her now. Dennee had spent her day with her own hardly smaller line of people, listening to petitioners who sought for her judgment in easier cases, like some kind of neighborhoods rows... Now she joined the last two hours of Kahlan´s audience. She awaited the end of the hearing impatiently and the distractions that draw her sister´s mind away again and again made her nervous. She shot her a rebuking glare, barely restraining from tapping her fingers on the arm rest and sighed relieved when Kahlan´s gaze eventually focused again and caught the tears that streamed from the eyes of the peasant´s wife. An instant pang of guilt shot through the Mother Confessor´s chest.

The family standing in front of her had appeared with two of their children, a blonde girl of maybe four years snuggled into her mother´s arms, peeping shyly to the highest authority of the Midlands while chewing on its thumb, a gangling boy in his fourteens or fifteens, standing slouchy beside his father, traces of dried tears drawing thin lines into the dust that covered his cheeks. They had come to ask for her help because her second daughter was missing.

"When did it happen?" Kahlan asked carefully. The father tried to keep his voice steady. "It happened today in the early morning. Tom..." he pointed to his son, who´s eyes already brimmed with tears again, "Tom had left her on a small clearing beside the river. She had found a blessed bird and wanted to take care of it and he told her to wait for him while he wanted to check his springs. He says he was gone for only 10 minutes!" The boy nodded wildly while new streaks of tears wet his cheeks, "but when he came back she wasn´t there. He searched himself for a long time. He came home when he could not find her and then we went all to search for her." The tall and beefy man now sobbed uncontrolled like a child. "We could not find her either! We are afraid that she fell into the water and the river has taken her..." His teary eyes locked firmly with the deep blue compassion of Kahlan´s gaze. "Please, Mother Confessor, we need your help! She is just a little girl" his voice cracked and his deep bow threatened to turn into a break down to her feet. "What is her name?" Kahlan asked softly.

"Her name is Carolyn, Mother Confessor" he was barely audible while his wife sobbed desperately and clung to the perturbed looking little one in her arms.

The Mother Confessor stood slowly and approached them. But she stopped when sudden fear appeared briefly in the mother´s eyes, reminding her bitterly that wrapping her arms around the woman and solacing her would probably force only more despair because their horror of her magic. She suppressed a frustrated sigh and made do with a gentle, reassuring look into the teary brown eyes while she called for her guard.

A soldier hasted immediately to stand straight in front of her, waiting for her orders.

"See to it, that thirty of our men will accompany this family and help them search their daughter Carolyn. She is a blonde girl of nine years. I expect them to check every stone in the area and down the riverside for at least five leagues. The neighbors have to be asked if they have seen her or if they have noticed something. Anything! And they will see that messengers leave to the near villages to inform everyone about Carolyn´s missing. They will report directly to me."

The peasant broke into tears of relieve, a hint of hope shimmering through the wet veil and he fell to his knees, trying to get a grip of the hem of her dress and press his lips to it. "Thank you, Mother Confessor. With so many men we will find her. Thank you so much for your help!"

Kahlan gestured him to stand and looked at his wife, sorrow for her loss tugging painfully at her heart and her eyes narrowed in honest compassion.

"I wish I could do more, my child. May the Spirits be with you." She stood still in her calm Confessor´s posture of strength until they had left through the wide wooden door. Only then she allowed her shoulders to sack and her face contorted in sorrow. When she turned to Dennee her gaze told a lot about her fears.

"Dear Creator, I hope they will find her. That this little girl is alive..."

Her sister slowly rose and sighed. "It is a tragic...But, don´t you think it´s weird? It almost resembles the case in this other village on the far side of Aydindril, ten days ago. Do you remember? It was after that bad weather was moving over the region. Two girls are missing since then; they were seen last time beside the stream as well."

"Their names are Miriam and Naddy. I have not given up on them yet. I still hope that they will be found and safe..." she gave her sister a sad look, "...as Carolyn should be."

"She surely is, Kahlan. By now the river is untroubled." Dennee looked thoughtfully and murmured: "Though maybe it´s not just a weird coincidence... I mean, little girls have never vanished before a Mord Sith settled in here..."

Kahlan whipped around and stared at her, anger sparkling in her eyes instantly. "Dennee! I will not allow you to create such silly rumors!"

"You will not allow me..." Dennee mocked her lowly, quirking a brow, but then shrugged insouciantly. "I´m just saying... Ah, forget it. You know how little girls are; maybe she followed a gaudy butterfly and has just lost her way. Her father is right. With the assistance of so many men they will find her soon."

Dennee´s black dress rustled lowly as she walked by, linking arms with her sister. "Now let´s go for dinner, Kahlan. Mistress Sanderholt has prepared some meal for us and already awaits us in her realm since hours. It has been a long day." Kahlan nodded acquiescently, still holding a slight frown on her face. Though there was nothing less important than dinner now. She felt no hunger; but she appreciated the idea to sit at the large table in the kitchen instead of her empty chambers, and listen to Mistress Sanderholt, who had always some news to tell to soothe her mind; some gossip from the town, or little rumors she had heard from the soldiers… Or talks she had had with the wizard; ...and the Mord Sith...

While walking through the palace, Dennee told her more details about the messenger she had met the day before.

"They are in a massive inner crisis. King Sadom has not much more time to live. And as he has no heir the sons of his brother are combating for the throne. The King tried his best to solve the problem on his own. But as the envoy reported, it has already created too much a stir. The two of them are instigating peasants against merchants, noblemen against soldiers. They corrupt the people in many ways to gain more power. Our help is needed." She shot a glance to her sister from the corner of her eyes. An almost adulating smile played around her lips.

"I think it is time, Kahlan, for the Mother Confessor to return to the tradition of traveling for judgment. Comorra needs your help. Their case does not concern the welfare of the Midlands. Therefore we can´t order them to ask the council. But if you, as our highest authority, will judge it, you have a good chance to avoid a civil war inside their frontiers. Which would probably lead to much more riot in their neighbor realms.

And at last, I am convinced it would be a good break for you, Kahlan. You need some time away from the palace, where everything must remind you of…the past."

Kahlan sighed and shot her a huffish glance, annoyed by her always slightly monishing tone; decorating some kind of a sneer. "Can it be that you are trying to cajole me into leaving?" Seeing Dennee´s eyes struck and hurt, she swiftly put her hand on her arm to calm her and smoothed her voice. "I will consider it, okay? Let me talk to Zedd. I think we can arrange a little journey. Comorra is just an eight days ride away. Zedd and I would be back in less than three weeks... The next council meeting is called for the end of the month. Do you think you can take my place for the time?"

The black robe swung in a whirl as Dennee whipped around with proudly beaming eyes, swiftly bowing before her, a satisfied smile brightening her features. "Of course I can, Mother Confessor!"

:::::::::::::::::::::::

Standing at the edge of the trees her eyes traveled dreamily over the silhouettes of hills and mountains. Kahlan loved this place. Since her childhood it had always been her personal refuge. In this spot live seemed to ease for a while and her heart could settle for a rest...So she hoped it would do today, before her soon departure for Comorra.

It was one of the rare grateful moments when she allowed herself the luxury of reveling in the beauty that were the midlands in this late springtime; let the jaunty sounds of chirping birds gently caress her ears; the light breeze that whispered through the leaves tenderly kiss her tired soul. She shut her eyes closed and raised her face into the warm sunlight; every inch of her skin seemed to tingle with appreciation. With a deep breath she inhaled the fragrances around her, the scent of wild flowers that flattered her senses, the earthy flavor that still remained from the early morning´s dew. Something close to a long forgotten happiness flickered through her veins. An overwhelming feeling of lightness danced briefly through her mind. She had taken off her boots; the childish need to feel the strength of young grass under her bare feet had become too urgent, and now she hummed lowly at the soft tickling at her soles.

Only slowly she realized that it was not the grass that tickled at her feet. She could not help but chuckle, gazing at the soft nose that snuffled on her bare skin.

"Hey, Shadow, have I missed something? When has meat become your new favorite?" Kahlan turned slowly to pat the horse's neck beneath the dark waves of his mane. His head rose, soft dark brown eyes watching her cautiously, while he chewed devoutly on a mouthful of lush, green blades. His ears perked up briefly, quickly relaxing again. He jostled his head playfully against her chest, making her stumble back a little. While a small puff of air escaped her chest a wide smile spread over her face. Her eyes beamed with affection when she approached the huge animal again.

"You too enjoy it, don´t you?" With a tender smile she reached out to gently scratch the spot between his ears where she knew he liked it the most. "It´s much too rare that we can steal us away, I know. I should give you more opportunities to stretch your legs, to just run and leave the stables behind. I´ll try to do better, I promise. At least, we will be on a long ride soon..." She stroke softly over his back. The fur, of a light grey, shimmering with a warm shade in the color of nutmegs, felt still slightly dump from the long gallop that had brought them here. With a patient smile she allowed him to rub his forehead heavily against her arm before his head ducked down again, plucking more grass and herbs and chewing noisily.

"Do you know what the secret of such moments is? Why I love it to be here? No?" She turned back to the sight, leaning against the horse´s side, staring up to the clear shapes of the mountains.

"It´s the peace you find here... peace of soleness. Simple living. There is only you and me and the sky above. There is no one who observes you. No one who´s reminding you to your duty. No decisions... No commitments..." her voice drifted away until it was nothing more than a murmur. A sigh stole its way from her lips. Her gaze became thoughtfully.

"No chains..." Her eyes narrowed slightly. She pushed off the soft wall of Shadow´s side and strode the few steps to the log where she had left the saddle and her boots, settling on the wood and leaning back to the trunk behind her. Her eyes returned to their little travels along the horizon. Shadow followed her leisurely and started grazing by her side.

Chains and ropes... Kahlan took a deep breath. Had not that been the recurrent theme in her life?

Looking back she felt like she had always been wrapped and tied, like her entire life had been that of a prisoner. Like she couldn´t remember a single day where she had been granted the chance to be only herself.

Kahlan Amnell. No more, no less.

Almost forgotten the lucky carefree days when she was a little girl. The bright love she had felt in the warmth of her mother´s embrace. Her childish happy freedom had abruptly ended the day her mother had died; the gentle reins of loving education suddenly substituted by hurting iron chains with which the world had bound her...

Chains of pain and guilt; put around her wrists by her father, roughly binding her to his will.

Chains of heavy weighing duty; put around her mind by the Sisters of the Light, perpetually softly monishing her that her lifewasn´t hers.

Chains of strong concern and purpose; put around her heart by Richard; tightly wrapping her into his all consuming love – until she could not breathe anymore.

Kahlan squeezed her eyes shut and clenched her jaw; her features contorted with painful emotions; shaking her head slightly...

Be honest, Kahlan. This is not the whole truth. There have been days when you have been just yourself. The Confessor felt tears welling up in the corner of her closed eyes. She tried to swallow them down but failed. A few drops slipped from under her lashes and left a glossy trail on her cheeks.

There had been one who had never tried to bind her.

No ropes... No chains... Just truth and being.

Time had been too short...

The only one, who had never bound her, had abandoned her; had left her with the hollow echo of a never ending emptiness.

Her voice almost cracked when her teary gaze settled on her four-legged companion.

"She´s back, Shadow!" she told the horse. "Cara is back! And... Everything else has returned with her." Kahlan sighed deeply, stroking his soft lips. "I don´t know what to do." Her eyes shifted to the big brown one that watched her cautiously. "I really tried to sustain it. I thought I was done with these senseless feelings. I tried my best to be strong; avoided her as well as I could. But…" she buried her face in his mane and whispered:

"... I see her face... her eyes... and I can´t help but see her as I did before... "

:::::::::::::::::::::::::

Beady-eyed the Mord Sith followed her every motion from beneath the trees. Watching over the Mother Confessor secretly, Cara had come close to feel the moments when Kahlan was going to flee; to sense when she decided to steal away from the palace and rushed to the stables. It happened rarely, but she would be on her heels. Always. She knew the Mother Confessor would not allow her to follow, but she felt compelled to do so. She kept on telling herself it was because Richard had let her vow to be near her and see that she was safe. And how else should she have been able to be prepared incase that anything – or any one – would try to harm the Confessor, if she would let her strive alone through the woods.

But somewhere deep inside her mind she had long recognized that the vow to Richard had been of no need. It was not for him that she was here;

The Mord Sith gritted her teeth and cursed inwardly; realizing that these two years in which she had done everything to find back to her true essence, to being a Mord Sith, no more, no less; that it had all been in vain.

All the times she had spent in the dungeons, forcing Berdine to train her; her hanging in chains; her bleeding under the screaming touches of an agiel; her longing and her efforts for regaining her former condition as a true Mord Sith; all her newly settled power and control… everything had swept away in a single heartbeat on her arrival in Aydindril; when her eyes had locked with these blue diamond's as they had seared straightly through her walls and burnt all her defenses into ashes.

Defeated before the battle even had begun.

She hardly suppressed a growl, gripping her agiels; hating this helpless feeling of her own weakness; but she had no choice. After all she was still Mord Sith. All she could do was keeping focus on her duty.

Cara huffed annoyed, thinking of Zedd, who hoped that she of all people could help Kahlan. This crazy big old fool...

:::::::::::::::::::::::

The Confessor shot a last glance to the mountains, steeling her mind for her return to the Palace and stood decidedly. It was time to head back. With some effort she shoved her melancholic mood aside and hauled the heavy saddle on Shadow´s back as gently as possible, starting to arrange the cinches to fix it. The horse stood patiently, waiting for her to mount, appreciating the soft tone of her voice.

"Maybe the time has come to come to an arrangement. At last," she shrugged faintly, "it does not seem as if she will simply disappear again..." her eyes swept slowly over the near logs, searching for her boots. Shadow received an absent pat on his back, while she huffed: "I can´t help, you know. Sometimes I could swear she is near. Watching me... She seems to be always around. Even if I can´t see her, I can feel her every presence..."

Shadow´s neck muscles tensed slightly as if on a cue, his ears swiveling back. Kahlan watched him attentively as he lifted his head a little, his ears now focusing on the tree line behind them. She huffed with a faint smile. "Do you understand now what I mean?" she whispered, and then inhaled fatalistically, biting her lower lip. Well, she already knew she would soon have to face her. So why not now? She straightened before her voice echoed through the air. She didn´t turn around, knowing her words would be heard anyway.

So be it...

"I know you are there, Cara! You can get out of the trees. You are unmasked."

She had to wait a few heartbeats until she finally heard her approaching. Slowly she turned to see the Mord Sith coming out of the shadows. Kahlan clenched her jaw as she was not prepared for her blood speeding up in its flow, not for the slight brushes like of feather light wings tickling the walls inside her belly as she watched her sauntering near; the familiar trademark sway in her hips caught her breath for a moment. Her hands held the reins of a tall black horse that followed her steps, head held high in pride, as if mirroring Cara´s own posture.

The blonde stopped an arm length away, tilting her head and eying the Confessor with a provoking smirk.

"I´m sorry, Mother Confessor. I had not intended to frighten you."

Kahlan´s lips smiled resigned. "No need to worry. You did not frighten me, Cara! You are following me since weeks. Am I finally allowed to learn about your reasons though?"

The blonde cocked a hip, her eyes washed over the grey horse which had turned and now faced her, watching her intensely, the muscles of its neck still tensed, its ears perked up warily. The sea-green gaze shifted to Kahlan´s bare feet, lingering there for a few moments while she arched her brows and then looked up into her eyes, her voice somewhere between mocking and perplexity.

"I thought it necessary that someone should be near you, in case someone would try to barge into your...privacy. Or you were looking for some... audience." Her lips started to curl into a grin.

Kahlan had blushed fiercely when she got aware of the childish sight she must offer with her bare feet, her boots still lying somewhere between the logs, but her eyebrow rose resolutely. "I hate to disappoint you, Cara, but no, thank you! This is my last opportunity to come here for a while and I feel absolutely comfortable spending some time of my own here. I don´t need any... audience!"

Forehead furrowed, the Mord Sith slowly cocked her head." Are you sure? I mean... I watched you: You are talking! ...To a horse!"

Kahlan couldn´t help but smile at the wobbliness that swept over the blonde´s features, her eyes narrowed on the horse, her hand gesturing almost reproachful to the beast that held its head just a few inches above Kahlan´s shoulder. A swift glance to the brown eye that stared suspiciously at the Mord Sith, told Kahlan clearly that neither horse nor Mord Sith trusted each other. If a horse could frown, Shadow would do. She stepped aside, out of the way between them and then gestured emphatically seriously from horse to Mord Sith and vice versa.

"Shadow, this is Cara, the Mord Sith! ...Cara, this is Shadow!" Now she smiled openly, affectionately beaming at the grey horse.

"And he is not just a horse… He is my friend!"

Cara´s brows climbed up, still eying him with a distrusting glare. "Your friend." Her entire posture was made of disbelieve when she gave a small snort of disgust and shifted her bemused eyes to Kahlan. "Strange friends you have made. What has happened to your tradition to engage in some ordinary people? Are they not enough friends to have a talk to?"

Kahlan looked at her briefly, slightly stiffening while her brows furrowed. When she answered, a distant wave of bitterness washed faintly through her words: "People... come and go, Cara... It happens that they just decamp." She shook her head. "They are not trustable."

Cara set her jaw and stared fixedly on her own boots, literally feeling Kahlan´s voice drop heavily on her shoulders. Why did it feel like she had just received a slap? Frowning she heard the Confessor move and looked up to see her walking to the log, fishing for her boots while she kept speaking.

"Shadow is different. He will not shy away! He trusts me. As I trust him."

Cara looked bewildered. She tilted her head thoughtfully and blurted out: "But, was not this the horse that caused..." she pointed to the huge beast, not finishing her question.

Kahlan whipped around, anger flashing from narrowed eyes under deeply knitted brows.

"Who told you?" She almost hissed, but when no answer came, her features slid easily into her Confessor´s mask, controlling any signs of emotions; only her voice holding a clear warning.

"Whatever you heard, you may consider half of it as random palace-gossip. And for the rest?" Her chin rose while her brows furrowed. "I am alive! And I am fine. And as I do not blame him for losing my child, no one else has the right to do so. He saved me! In many ways. There is nothing more to say." She held one of her boots and settled on the log to put it on, small muscles in her cheeks working, hardly visible. It was the only sign of some inner turmoil.

Cara´s gaze lingered thoughtfully on her for a few heartbeats, lips pursed, eyes slightly narrowed and a faint crease crinkling her forehead. Finally she turned and put the reins over her horse´s neck, mounting in an easy, swinging motion. Sitting straight and silent she waited for the Mother Confessor to set the bit of Shadows bridle, before she mounted too and headed towards Aydindril without a word, forcing her horse into a slow trot.

They rode in silence, with stiffened shoulders and stony faces. But side by side.

Only their horses showed their stressed mood, threatening each other with flattened ears every now and then, evidently bothered by their unfamiliar closeness…

:::::::::::::::::::

Cara took the horses to the stables and then stood in the opening of the box. The tall grey horse still eyed her wearily with half-flattened ears and a tense neck. Apparently Shadow was unsure of what he had to expect of her. The Mord Sith leaned against the wooden frame and looked him over. At last the horse decided that this human was momentarily of no danger and his ears peeked up in curiosity, though his neck kept tense.

"Her friend, hm?... Saved her, hm?" Cara pursed her lips and shook her head. With a challenging glare she moved her hand slowly, what made the horse lift its head and lay its ears close to its neck. The blonde grinned.

"You better arrange with me, friend! Cause I am her friend too, though she doesn´t want to see it. And if you really saved her" her hand dropped the apple she had held, "I very appreciate that." Still grinning she turned and left.

Shadow waited until she had vanished, before he ducked his nose and searched for the apple...

Stepping out of the stables she had to blink against the sun, not sure if she really saw Kahlan standing there on the first step of the wide staircase that led to the palaces entrance, waiting for her with impatient eyes, tilting her head as the blonde stopped astonished.

"Are you coming eventually?" The question sounded peevish and Cara considered briefly an icy retort, but then headed wordlessly towards the steps. The brunette did not wait until she reached her but turned around and while heading to the entrance she stated over her shoulder: "I think it is time that we talk about your... position in this palace."

Cara fixed her gaze on the white marble stone she set her feet on and followed in silence, her lips twitching into a smug grin. This was definitely going to be the best day she had ever since she came to Aydindril.

t.b.c.