CHAPTER 3

MAX POV

Our daughter turns two today. I can't believe that Charlie is turning two today. Her name is really Charlotte but Tobias and I have always called her Charlie much to Evelyn's disgust. But then there isn't much that Evelyn is ever happy about. I don't even know where she is at the moment. She spends less and less time with us. Which is fine with me, I'm happiest when it is just Tobias, Charlie and I.

I hear the front door open and shut and my two kids are calling me, "Dad," they call out in unison.

I'll never forget the day Tobias first called me dad. I felt so proud. Tobias was still being home schooled at the time. Although it was hard to ever find him in the apartment. He would wander off for hours; we never did know where he went, he still does it now. The Dauntless compound is so large and there are so many places you can hide. I was watching the latest bunch of initiates going through stage three of training. Watching them go through their fear landscapes. There were so many people there that no one even notices the little boy sitting in the corner.

Once the initiates had finished I went over to Tobias and asked him what he was doing here. "I just wanted to see what everyone was doing," he said. I know he didn't like crowds and would often run and hide if there were too many people around so I didn't want to make a big deal of him being around so many.

I explained how the fear landscape worked and how to pass training the initiates had to face their fears. He stood there soaking in the information when he said, "I only have four fears."

"Really, are you sure?" I said. He nodded and I said, "Well if that's the case then you will hold the Dauntless record."

"Yep, I only have four," he said. Adamant that he would only have four.

"Well if that's the case then I'm going to call you Four from now on," I said.

He looked up at me and said, "Does that mean that I can call you Dad?"

I knelt down so that I was face to face with him and I said, "Of course you can call me Dad." I think I had the biggest smile ever on my face as I said this. Tobias wrapped his arms around my neck and said, "Well then you can call me Four".

Ever since that day I and everyone else other than his mother have called Tobias Four and he has called me dad.

Charlie comes running up and jumps into my arms, "Happy Birthday Charlie," I say giving my daughter a hug and kiss her on the cheek.

"Where's mum?" Four asks.

"No idea," I reply.

"Is she going to be here for my party?" Charlie asks.

"I'm sure she will be, baby."

I set Charlie back down on the ground and she runs over and jumps on the lounge next to her brother. Four absolutely loves his baby sister. I really was blessed that even though there is such a huge age gap between them they get along really well. Charlie adores her big brother and he spoils her rotten.

Four has come so far since he first arrived in Dauntless. He still has recurring nightmares from his life living with Marcus but he doesn't seem to scream out in the middle of the night anymore. He has made friends. Four and Zeke are inseparable. They usually have Uriah following around after them, which can be really funny at times. Especially when they are up to no good, then they try and blame it on Uriah. Or they just get him to do whatever will get them into trouble first. There is also Shauna who hangs with them; she is the same age as Four and Zeke. I am sure she has a crush on Zeke but he is clueless. Uriah's' friends Marlene and Lynn can often be seen with them as well. They are a good bunch of kids and it is nice to see Four around others his own age.

He can often be quite the loner, but his friends seem to accept this and they just leave him be when he needs it. I know he has found this spot down near the chasm that he goes too. He can sit there for hours. I talked to Simon about it; he said that he thinks it's good for him. Four only went to see Simon a few times he doesn't want to talk about what happened in the past. We all agreed to drop the idea of therapy but made Four promise that he would ask for help if he needed it. He has friends, he is doing well at school and he seems happy most of the time so we have let him be. Other than the nightmares and the scars on his back no one would know what he had been through.


Our day has been long. Having fifteen two year olds running around the apartment has been exhausting. Evelyn turned up half way through the party. I can't believe she wasn't here for half our daughter's party. Four has taken Charlie upstairs to get her ready for bed. I don't think I could have done it tonight.

"Where were you Evelyn? For fuck sake it was our daughter's birthday," I say. I am really pissed with her.

"I was here Max, I was only a few minutes late," she says.

"Are you serious, where were you? You don't have a job you have to be at; all you have to do is be a good mother. And well we can see your failing miserably at that," I say. I can hear the anger in my voice. It makes me even angrier because I promised I would never raise my voice in anger in this house. Evelyn and Four have both had enough of that for one lifetime.

"This isn't working Max, I'm not happy," she tells me.

"What?" I ask. All I can think is that she is leaving and taking my kids away. I can't lose my kids.

"I can't do this anymore Max. I'm leaving," she says.

I can see Four sitting at the top of the stairs. I can see the fear in his eyes. I am not going to let her take him or Charlie.

"You can't have the kids Evelyn; I won't let you take them from me." I'm amazed at myself. I'm not even asking her to stay.

"I wasn't going to Max. You can have them, they love you more than me," she says. There is no expression in her voice or any as she looks at me. She looks hollow.

"Where will you go?" I ask. The kids should at least know where their mother is.

"I've met someone. He is factionless, I'm going to go and live with him."

"If you leave I am not going to allow you to see our kids, they don't deserve to have to see their mother factionless."

"Whatever you want Max. I'm not going to argue with you about this. I know they are better off with you," she says.

At this point Four has walked down stairs; I can see the tears in his eyes. He walks up to his mother and he says, "I hate you, I never want to see you again, ever." He walks away from his mother and towards his bedroom. When he gets there he walks into his room and slams the door.

"I think you should just leave Evelyn, take whatever you want but leave your key. I can't have you coming back here," I say and I walk away from her. I need to see how my son is doing.


I tap lightly on Fours' door and I let myself into his room. I know he isn't going to welcome me into the room at the moment. But we need to chat about what has happened I don't want it to leave a wedge between us.

"Tobias."

"Max," he says. He knows I hate it when he calls me Max. It doesn't happen very often and it is usually after I have called him Tobias. It also cuts deeply right now with everything that has just happened with his mother.

"Don't call me that, you know I hate it when you do," I say.

"Then don't call me Tobias, you know I hate that probably even more," he says. I chuckle at this, he is lying face down with his head in his pillow. I am sure if I could see his face I would have seen him grinding his teeth as I said Tobias.

He turns his head and looks up at me and says, "I'm sorry."

"What for? You don't have anything to be sorry about," I say.

"You're stuck with me," he says.

I open my arms and say, "Come here." He lifts himself up and gives me a hug. I don't think I could want more than knowing that this boy wants to be here at this moment.

"I may be stuck with you, but I want to be stuck with you. No matter what, you are my son and I love you. I love you and Charlie. You are my world and don't ever think differently."

"She used to leave for days before, when we lived with him. He would get so angry," he says. We had never spoken about Marcus or when he had lived there. It never occurred to me that she used to leave Four alone for days when she was visiting me. She never said anything about it. I didn't even know that he had ever harmed Four before that day when I walked in to see them both lying there half dead.

"Then I should be saying sorry to you. Because it was me that she was with when she wasn't there," I say. Hoping that he won't hate me for it.

"It's not your fault dad, she has always thought of herself before me. And now she has done the same to Charlie."

"We will work it out Four. We can still be a family just the three of us." We both lie down on his bed, we don't say anything. I hear Evelyn close the front door. I just stay here until I know Four is finally asleep.

EVELYN POV

I watch as Max walks down the hall towards Tobias. Thankfully I didn't have to admit that I was pregnant to somebody else. I don't think being pregnant is a good thing. But I couldn't stay here. Once the baby is born I know Max would have then found out it wasn't his. I know I'm not a very good mother. Maybe when they are older, then I can be there for them.

Having to run around after all those two year olds today was like being in my own living hell. I would have gladly swapped it for a beating from Marcus. What sort of parent does that make me? The one who is packing her things and walking out on them.

I'm glad this is over; I couldn't have stayed here much longer even if I wasn't pregnant. Those three weeks I sat in the hospital with Tobias after Marcus attacked us, that was pure torture. The only thing that got me through it was knowing that it made me look good in front of Max. But I can't hide it anymore. I finally feel free. There isn't much for me to pack, what good will a blender be living factionless. I gather a few pieces of clothing and I walk out the door.

I hope one day Tobias will forgive me. But I don't think it will matter much if he doesn't.