Chapter Two
"I know it may look like I was being like a bitch, but that's only because I was acting like a bitch." – Cady Herron
Jazmine
was only the second week of school, and I was already losing my valedictorian slot in my class no thanks to Professor Elliot. She hated me. I just knew it, and I couldn't understand why. Normally, teachers loved me, but in this class, she acted like I killed her kid or something. I couldn't even say I hated the class. I loved AP Psychology as a class. It interested me. It helped me understand the way the mind worked, and even though I would never admit it to anybody, I wanted to see why I acted the way I did sometimes. I just wanted to comprehend myself, but that's stupid. Right?
And speaking of stupid, I was sure that's what Huey thought I was. He had to hate my guts right now. His eyes never looked my way, but I could feel how angry and annoyed he was with me. I couldn't stand being so close to him. He made it easy to remember the old Jazmine. I shuddered. Even Huey hated her. Nobody liked me then. I was too strange, too lame, too average, too complacent, and much too naïve. Plus, Huey had this way of making me feel really stupid, and I hated feeling that way. But that wasn't new, I hated lots of things lately.
I looked up to finally see what new assignment was on the board. Our first research project appeared on the black abyss called a chalkboard. I looked over at Huey, who looked at the board before narrowing his eyes. I took a deep breath. Okay, I wasn't crazy. Clearly, I was in over my head. How could I handle this? I hadn't talked to Huey in over about four or five years. This wasn't television. I could not just walk up to Huey and say some random words or something. I dissed him. I walked away from our friendship, left it behind. Plus, I was freaking out in my head. The panic button had gone off, and I was sure that I would pass out. Then, I noticed Huey's lips moving. I sighed, wanting to smack myself. I just knew that I had proved my stupidity.
"Look, I just want an A," Huey turned around in his seat to look at me, "Can we just do our work together?"
"Huey, I don't know. I mean, to be honest. It's-"
"It's what, Jazmine?" He asked me, his voice tired.
"It's hopeless. It's too complicated for you to understand," I told him, crossing my left leg over the other.
"Jazmine, let me spell this out for you," He looked at me as he lowered his tone so that it would scare the living shit out of me, "If you and I don't do this, Professor Elliot is going to fail you and give me a passing grade that's not an A. And if I don't get an A, then I might break an assault law."
It worked. I was scared now. If Huey said something, he meant it, and I was in no position to get assaulted at the moment, "Fine."
"So I take it that you're doing the project with me right?" He raised his eyebrow.
"I take it that you're right," I whispered but looked forward. I didn't want anybody to know I was talking to Huey.
"Who? That desk in front of you?" Huey smirked.
"Huey, come on! You should know how things worked out by now," I told him as I spun around in my seat, "I can't be seen talking to you!"
"Right, Jazmine," He looked at me, "Who made that rule up?"
"Huey, really, cut it out!" I hissed back at him while I tried not to laugh. We used to bicker like this when we were younger, and he still acted like the ten year old Huey I used to hang out with every day.
"I forgot that it takes a lot of work to be a bitch," He told me before spinning around in his seat. His face didn't even change when he said it, "Sorry."
I turned around in my seat. I had a red face. Huey and I only talked for a couple of minutes, and now, I felt awful. He thought I was a bitch,and knowing Huey, he wasn't sorry. Then, I shook it off. After all, everybody else called me a female dog. Why was it so surprising to me that Huey did the same? After all, I was a bitch. I wasn't pretending. I hated to look at myself. I wondered how other people saw me. I wondered if I would ever figure out anything on my own. I wondered if at least one of my parents would bring my some food and cash. I didn't think I could go another night without any more of it. I wondered why everybody in this school thought I was better than them. I was way worst off than a lot of them thought.
My parents hate each other now. I wasn't surprised about that. Honestly, after the Usher incident, I thought they would call it quits. I could have lived with that. Really, I wouldn't have shed one tear if they had come together and made up a plan so I would be taken care of. I sighed as Professor Elliot wrote the work on the board. She, in turn, shot me a dirty look and told me to see her after class. Did she really hate me that much? I think back to my empty household. They haven't even been together since my freshman year. I thought that my own father, Tom, would at least provide for me, but my parents got so wrapped up in one another that they forgot about me. I guess I couldn't blame them. I'm not the greatest kid on Earth to come home to. I just want somebody, as corny as this sounds, to come home and love me. I don't care that I'm sixteen years old. They can yell at me. They can make me do chores, but I need somebody around. My parents are always gone on "business" for weeks at a time. I know the truth, though. They just can't be around me. And the house I live in is a reminder of the failed marriage they had.
I notice the bad feelings building up in my stomach and decide that maybe I should change this sad subject. Nobody wants to hear the life of depressed Jazmine Dubois. However, I do have a party to attend this weekend. That's good. Kevin and I are going, of course. Plus, Tasha is spending the night over my house. At least, that's what she told her parents. Who knows where she'll actually end up? Plus, it's hard to have her at my house. I think having Tasha over is even worst than having an empty house. It's really hard not to confront her about cheating on Kevin, especially when she's trying to pry on our relationship.
Hopefully, I'll be too drunk to really care.
Riley
We're jumping this new nigga into our gang. That's right. I did it. I'm the head of the Bloods and the Crips. I've been a fucking gangsta since the day I was born. I never denied it. I embraced that shit. I've got real tattoos all over my chest so Granddad can't see. We're on that gangsta shit. Always have been, and we always will be. Being in a gang ain't not game. It's a lifestyle. You can't keep running back and forth in the streets calling names and say you a gangsta. What the fuck is that shit?
If you're going to call a name out, it had better be the right one. And more importantly, you'd better be prepared to back that shit up. Hell, you walk on my block and might get shot up. I have no fronts to put up. I'm all Riley all the time. I'm smart as fuck, and I do what the fuck I want to do on my own time. Bitches, hoes, pimps, they all admire me, but do they all have my admiration? Hell, no they do not. I'm Young Reezy. When I was eight, I had that game. Now that I'm fourteen, I'm done playing.
You play around my hood, and you may get shot. Playing isn't cool. Hell, I was gangsta for an eight year old, but I had no idea what the normal fucking rules are. I talked too much shit. I would've gotten my ass kicked with the dudes I roll with. Huey tries to tell me I need to stop, but I don't listen to him. I never do. What does he know? I've been living like this for a whole year, and I already run this shit. When I walk in a room, well known gangstas like me part to let me through.
I don't give a fuck what people at this damn high school say about me. They think I don't hear the whispers they spread like they're waterfalls? I do. I just don't care. As soon as I turn to look at whoever said it, they'll just bounce. I know who's real and who's not. Hell, that's one thing that gay ass nigga said that was right. The truth hurts. Being real hurts. I hate to say that, but it's fucking true.
See, you can't give a shit about that once you become a real gangsta. You've gotta treasure more shit. And all that illegal ass shit folks be whining about? Pshhh! Take that on somewhere. I don't want yo punk ass in my damn gang because we're about to do all of it. We're classy too. We do community service. We clean up the neighborhoods. The police and us? We're cool. It's all a part of the hustle. People hand us the money, and we don't share it with just anybody. They can either get in the cut or they can get cut. Either way I'm going to get what I want.
I ain't no punk. I can fight fair. Don't try to play me. I won't try to play you. But if you want to get on the kid shit, it better be strong as hell. I'll instantly squash that sort of thing. Huey hates it when I talk like this. I know it, but I don't care. He's probably with Arielle ass right now. Heartless bitches? Mane please, Arielle, ain't even worth me speaking of. I wonder how long I can afford to live this way.
I have a feeling that I'll have to get out sooner or later. But how do I do it? I don't understand why I gotta live this way just to feel like shit. I wonder why I gotta jump this nigga so he can feel so damn empty, like this shit ain't worth it? Is it? Damn, I don't even know. I'm punching this nigga to welcome his ass into a gang. That makes me angrier. My damn gang inducts this nigga by making him bloody and weak. Then what? He works for us now? We're all supposed to be brothers? I don't buy that shit.
This nigga shouldn't but it either. I beat his ass harder. I want him to say stop. I want him to cry so I can laugh and tell him that this ain't the life for him. I don't want him in this type of life, but this nigga is like my bitch ass brother Huey. He ain't scared for shit. He gets up and dusts himself up. Damn, he's hard. I can't even say he doesn't have the balls. He does. I stop fighting him. I stop wondering why the fuck I'm beating his ass.
This a business. I can't let my emotions get in the way. I sound sentimental and shit. Instead, I narrow my eyes at him. I hope to scare the living shit out of him. He doesn't crack at all. Everybody participating in this moment looks at me, eyes wondering. I look back at them, at that damn kid. I wonder what his name is. I wonder why I already give a damn about the nigga. He ain't my problem. But deep down, I get that damn feeling that he is.
I want to ask him what his name is, but I can't. That would make these niggas start hating. You don't want a hatin ass nigga gang on one dude. That's bad, real bad. I've seen it happen. They started fighting against him. I have to keep my interest at bay. I can't let people see how impressed I already am with dude. I keep my poker face on.
"Welcome, mane," I hold out my hand.
He looks down at it and turns away from me. He shakes hands with everybody else in my crew.I don't know whether to cheer for his ass or beat his ass all over again for being so goddamn bold.
Arielle
I love my boyfriend. I do. He's everything I said I want in a guy. Well, I never pictured the afro, but I do. I love the way he acts. I love how his eyebrows raise sometimes. I love how his lips perch when he talks. I love Huey. I, Arielle Nordstrom, love Huey. I just wonder if he loves me back. He never even seems to pay attention to me sometimes.
Now, before you roll your eyes and go, "Isn't she supposed to be hard?" Think about this. I'm a girl. I may not have a lot of toleration and patience, but I still want love like every other girl. I enjoy being spoiled. I like getting cards, as long as they emphasize my African American beauty. I like roses without the pesticides. You know? I guess not. Huey clearly doesn't get it either. I've been done with my homework for hours now, and because of Professor Elliot, he's still doing homework.
"Huey," I say, annoyed.
"What now Arielle?" He sits up on his bed, doing that eyebrow thing that I kind of hate right now.
"When will you be done?" I ask him, twirling a braid around my fingers.
"I don't know. I'm trying to start on this project with Jazmine-"
Oh hell no! He did not just say that. I just know he didn't tell me that he was going to be Jazmine's partner. It had to be a joke. I had to be losing my mind. It was in Canada somewhere. I just knew that Huey had to be mistaken. Maybe he looked at the board wrong. Yeah, that was it. I smiled at the thought. He had just read the board wrong.
"Did you hear me?" He asked, "I'm partners with Jazmine. Does that bother you?"
What kind of question was that? Of course, it bothered me. I hated that damn girl. She pissed me the fuck off. I couldn't even hear her name without getting upset. I should have known that something was up. She looked so nervous in Theater class today. She couldn't even get through her lines all the way. It was just that bad. Now, I knew why. How dare she attempt to steal my man. I shook my head. She already had Kevin, and now she wanted Huey. Okay, maybe I was being irrational. Even though Jazmine has become a super bitch, I knew she wouldn't stoop that low. This knowledge didn't make me feel any better though.
"I heard you," I told him as I looked at his face, "And yes, it does."
"Okay, so I take it that you don't want me to go over there," He told me as though the answer was obvious.
"Over there?" My eyes were bugging out of my head. He was going to Jazmine's house. Now, I really didn't want him anywhere near her, "Huey, have you lost your mind? Have aliens abducted your head? Because, you mean over there towards the door, right? That way Jazmine can walk in this house with me, Riley, and Granddad and do the assignment?"
"No, Arielle, that's not what I meant. You know I'm going over her house," He told me.
"Well, you're not going," I told him defiantly as he looked at me with an amused expression on his face.
"Baby, you're not scared that Jazmine's going to steal me away from you," He began as he pulled me closer to his chest, "Are you?"
Jazmine zero. Arielle one. I looked up at him, "I just don't want you getting attached. I just. Huey I'm jealous okay? Really, really jealous."
He kissed me. I think that counts as two whole points. Maybe if I kissed him long enough, I could make him forget all about going to Jazmine's house. Maybe I could convince him that he belonged here with me.
Huey looked at his watch after pulling away from me and sighed. I already knew the words that were going to come out of his mouth, "I've got to go."
"You can be late," I murmured, getting closer to his lips. I hated this vulnerable feeling he gave me. Sometimes, I felt like I was wasting it on him. My mom told me it was intuition speaking, but intuition speaks when something isn't right. Huey and I are right. We're the only thing that's right.
"I'll see you later, Arielle," Huey told me as he led my hand towards the stairs. He was walking me out of the house?
"Yeah, later," I told him. Then, that prickling feeling at the bottom of my stomach happened again. It was trying to tell me something. I was trying not to listen. I was trying to ignore it. I didn't want to hear what it had to say. I wanted to scream at it. I wanted to tell it that it was wrong, but I couldn't ignore the very words that I asked myself in my head.
If you're meant to be together, why can you hear me?
I couldn't logically answer that question.
Cindy
I wanted to focus, but I couldn't. The silence was throwing me off. I didn't have anymore homework to do, and basketball practice wasn't until tomorrow. This house was empty. My dad was never home and my sister, Katie, was in her room asleep. I hated that I couldn't be better. I didn't have any job or source of income, and neither one of my parents had dropped by for at least two weeks. I couldn't keep telling Katie they would come soon. I didn't even know when they were coming home.
I wondered how everybody on my team would feel if they saw me right now. Cindy"McFearsome" at home in tears. I didn't know what the hell to do, and I didn't even want to move in with the Freemans. That would hurt Katie. I mean, she was a cool kid, but handling Riley and Huey was hard enough for me, let alone a three year old girl. Jazmine was no option. She had hightailed our friendship's reins for Tasha. And Arielle? I may as well move in with the Freeman's.
I blew into the tissue as the phone rang. I didn't even notice how much I had taken that for granted. I ran to it. Screeching at the voice in the phone. I told my father exactly how I felt since he left me here alone. I told him that I was worried. I told him that I needed his help. I told him that I was scared. I even told him that I couldn't do this without him. I was hysterical. I was in the kitchen throwing things and everything. I was actually "acting white." And after I confessed all of this, nothing happened for a moment. It was just shallow breathing on the other end of the line.
"Ma'am this is AT&T service calling about-"
I hung up the line and sobbed. Today would make it three weeks. This wasn't normal. I hadn't seen from him or heard from him in weeks. And soon, I made my way to the couch, wiping the tears from my eyes. There was a small scuffling sound coming from behind me. I knew it was Katie.
"Cinwy," She looked like she had been crying too. Her small hands were balled into fists. Unlike me, she had red hair. She could be a real spitfire, and lately, I was the one who had to deal with her. She couldn't pronounce my name correctly for some reason, so I let it slide.
"What's up, Katie?" I looked at her.
"I want daddy!" She whimpered as her lower lip trembled. I didn't know what to do. I was not this girl's mother or her father.
"Well, he's not here," I told her as I lifted her into my lap, attempting to keep my own tears from falling.
"But Cinwy! I want daddy! Why can't he jus come home?" Her little blue eyes were filling with tears.
"I don't know, Katie," I whispered to her as I rocked her back and forth, "I don't know."
"Is it my fault?" she looked at me with the big blue eyes as wide as saucers, "Daddy left cuz of me?"
"No, Katie, you weren't bad," I told her as she began to sob into my chest.
We stayed that way for a while. Soon, I was crying too, and I didn't feel as bad. I didn't feel so weak. I just felt the need to let it all out. I looked over at the phone before checking out our monthly bill of three million dollars for this mansion. I felt like crying on the inside. I couldn't wait much longer, and soon, something would have to give. The tears rolled down my face as I realized that in another two weeks the company would have to cut off our lights. I had to figure out a way to survive without any help. A teenage job wouldn't give me three million dollars. The phone rang in the kitchen, but this time I didn't pick up. I let the bill collector's voice ring out into the room before turning on the T.V. as my sister's sobs slowly dwindled. The rain outside told me that these tears only preceded the ones to come.
Huey
I hate the rain. Bad stuff happens all the time. I tell everybody that. I wouldn't be Huey if I didn't, but that doesn't keep me from hating the water as it falls from the sky. My pants are already wet as I walk towards Jazmine's house. On top of this, the wind is blowing, so this umbrella in my hand is useless.
Personally, I blame George Bush for allowing global warming to go on for so long that it's irreversible, but whatever, this rain has nothing to do with global warming. Or does it?
I scowled as I walked towards Jazmine's house. I was actually relieved to be on her porch for once in my life. I waited silently for her to open the door after I ring the doorbell. I looked for her parents' cars, but I didn't see them. All I saw was hers. I sighed impatiently. If Jazmine didn't hurry up, I would get really pissed.
Luckily for her, she opened the door and let me in.
The first thing I noticed was how silent the house seemed. I knew that Tom and Sarah weren't home. You could hear their bickering from miles away. When we were younger, Jazmine used to tell me how she felt about it too. I had told her to get over it; it happened to everybody. But as time went on, her stories involved a little more action. She told that her parents would throw things at each other. She told me that they would talk about leaving. I assured that this would never happen. After all, Tom was a bitch. He would never leave his daughter. I shook off the feeling about what happened.
"So what do we have to do?" Jazmine looked at me. Her hair was in a ponytail, no makeup or anything and she was wearing sweats and socks. I was relieved that she wouldn't tap those heels again. I would love to just throw them into the ocean.
"According to the syllabus," I lifted the sheet of paper, "We have to choose our own experiment that shows how we as humans effect each other's minds. Did you even read this, Jazmine?"
She looked at me as she rolled her eyes, hand on her hips. If her attitude wasn't so revolting, it would have been funny. Right now, it was getting on my nerves.
"I don't think that's an answer, Jazmine" I looked at her before heading up the steps.
"Where the hell do you think you're going?" She looked nervous even though I could tell that she was trying to look angry, so I didn't get that mad.
"To the computer room?" I looked at her with my raised eyebrow after I turned around. I was on the third step, "It's still up there isn't it."
She nodded as if relieved, "Yeah, it is."
I walked up to the computer, and peeked into her room from the corner of my eye into her room. From the looks of it, not much had changed. Well, except that there was much more clothing and makeup everywhere. It felt a little strange without Tom there to supervise. I guess there marriage was finally taking its toll. I sat down as Jazmine came up behind me, pen and pencil in her hand.
"So what do you think we should do it on, Huey?" She looked up at me expectantly. She actually looked kind of cute. I shook the cute part out of my head. That's why I had Arielle now.
"Maybe we should do it on the lives of politicians and their use of tone to influence the country," I suggested as I felt something wet on my leg. It was my pants leg. Damn that rain.
"Huey, I don't want to do it on that! People will think we're crazy!" Jazmine shrieked as the pen flew out of her hand.
"Calm down, Jazmine," I rolled my eyes at her for about the thousandth time that day. All these years had passed and nothing good happened in that brain. I looked up from the computer to look at her, "One, you asked me what I wanted to do, so why you're shrieking like a banshee is irrelevant to me. Two, you act like I care about what people think. I'm Huey Freeman. I don't care what's been going in your life lately. That much hasn't changed."
Jazmine narrowed her eyes, "One, I didn't expect that. I haven't been hanging out with you for like three or four years. Two, I care about what people think. I'm Jazmine Dubois damn it. Three, you don't know shit about what the fuck has been going in my life, and even if you did, you don't care. That much hasn't changed."
"Jazmine, don't do that with me. I'm not the kids at our school, and I'm not going to bow down to you because everybody expects me to," I told her, looking into her eyes. I wanted to make sure she understood.
"Nobody asked you to," She told me with a snort as she picked up her pen and began scribbling violently. Her hair started shaking with the motions of the pen.
"Well, fine, what do you want to do our project on?" I asked her, looking at her with the same expression she was giving me.
"Let's do it on how other kids follow one another," She sneered, "Since people are expected to bow down to me and all."
"Sounds good to me," I shrugged. I knew that the fact that it looked like I didn't care irked her even more.
"So let's start shall we?" She asked me as she moved over to the computer.
I looked at my watch. We had been here for thirty minutes and no parents? What was up? It was about seven o'clock. Tom was normally home by then, and I had been by their house long enough to know that much. I hated to ask her this but, "Where's Tom?"
She froze in her tracks. Her eyes grew wide as saucers and narrowed as she shook her head, "He had a trip on business."
I nodded. Alright, that made a little bit of sense, "But where's Sarah?"
"Same thing," She lowered her eyes to the floor.
"Same case?" I looked at her expectantly.
"No," She said as her voice grew considerably softer, "It was at the same time."
"Jazmine, you're lying." I told her nonchalantly, "When you want to talk about this, maybe I'll listen."
She ignored me and pulled out a sheet of paper as we worked on the project. The first thing she did was look at a few pictures of ads for teens. Some were racy. Others were sweet and innocent. She began some sort of chart as I raised an eyebrow.
"Jazmine, what are you doing?" I asked her, getting annoyed with the awkward silence.
"I'm starting a chart based on the correlation between the type of ads and their profits," She told me as she kept right on typing, "How's Arielle?"
That threw me off. I knew that Arielle couldn't stand Jazmine, and Jazmine most definitely didn't care for Arielle, "Why?"
"I just wanted to ask," She shrugged. Then, she paused and looked up at me. She reminded me so much of the old Jazmine that I almost felt the need to educate her about more Black History or something. I don't know what it was, but she had that innocent glint in her eyes that made me remember why I had ever been friends in the first place. I guess the rumors weren't true after all, "Was Arielle even okay with you coming here?"
"Jazmine, you know that's none of your business," I told her stiffly.
"I'll take that as a no then," She shrugged again. What the hell? Nonchalance was my thing.
"What would make you think that?" I told her, keeping the shock off of my face as I glared at her again.
"Because Arielle can't stand me, and we're at our house alone," She examined her fingernails before rubbing something off and throwing it on the ground, "Since you're brutally honest to a fault, I know you told her, and I know she was totally against it. What did you do to get her to accept this? Screw her senseless?"
To say I was shocked was an understatement. Now, she was just pissing me off, "No, unlike you, I don't screw people to get what I want. I explained to her that I didn't want you. All I want is her."
"Good to know," She snarled as I grabbed my stuff and walked out of the room. I had enough of Jazmine for one day.
"Why you're acting like a damn spoiled, pretentious bitch is beyond me Jazmine, but let me tell you something," I got in her face as she flinched, making me feel a lot better, "I don't give a fuck what the hell you think you've been doing these past years. You keep this up and people will think you're fucking for real. You keep this up and every person will believe it. Then, you'll care."
Jazmine was silent, backing away from me, but I wasn't done with her, "As long as we have to be partners this year, Arielle's name better not pass through your lips. All we'd better talk about is this project. Understand?"
Jazmine nodded, her hand on the door.
"I can't seem to hear you," I growled as I got in her face. She looked at me with wide eyes as she realized that I was not in the mood to play with her.
"Yes, I understand," She told me.
"Good to know," I mocked her as I walked out of the door and towards the house.
It was still raining. Damn.
