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The McGrath foundation is a real breast cancer foundation. If you are in the position to donate any amount to any similar foundation or charity, please do so. Jane is the reason our cricketers have pink handles to their bats.
On another serious note, I read Armadilloi passed away in his sleep recently. Nic, our thoughts are with you. Jim was one of my favourite authors, and one of the reasons I do more than just read on this site.
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"Chuck!" Sarah hissed angrily.
The articulation 'Chuck' is not an easy one to hiss, there being a basic lack of sibilances. But Chuck's secret girlfriend had mastered the art sometime ago. Before she'd become his secret girlfriend, if Chuck was to be brutally honest.
Oh, and she may have used her fingernails, pinching into his side, to augment her desire for his undivided attention.
Chuck diverted his focus from The Two Towers DVD Casa Bartowski was currently watching.
'Oh crap! She figured it out!' was his horrified thought when he saw her expression. Chuck was in trouble now...
"Is this why you had the giggles the other night?" Sarah demanded in an angry whisper, pointing at the TV.
Naturally she was angry. He'd had a fit of the giggles at a completely inappropriate time. They'd finished a mission, and being the hour it was, had gone back to her place.
Their hungry kissing as soon as they got in the door developed into something more. As she started getting him into bed, she needed to remove any potential hazards to his health. It was after she removed the fourth weapon he started to laugh.
It was now, watching a Dwarf, an Elf and a Man being divested of a whole lot of sharp pointy things before they would be allowed into the Golden Hall of Rohan, that she got it.
"Is this...?" she gestured again to the TV.
Chuck didn't trust himself to speak, so he just nodded quickly. His eyes brimming with tears of laughter. He knew he was in serious trouble, and with his sister and Devon present there was nothing Sarah could do. Which somehow made the eventual and inevitable retaliation so much more... deliciously dangerous.
After the movie, the small extended family prepared for their beds. Devon (and Ellie, and Casey via video link) had picked Chuck's mirth, and Sarah's frustrated ire. Devon gave Chuck a smirk that read as 'Angry make up sex. Awesome.'
Once alone, as signified by Sarah closing the door loudly and firmly, Chuck burst out laughing.
"Ss...sss...Sarah, I'm sss...ssso sorry. It just hit me... and I couldn't sss...sstop..."
"You realise you compared me to a Dwarf!"
"No! Nononononono!"
She glared at him.
Chuck, babbling frantically now, tried to describe it as something called 'a positive reinforcement feedback loop' before Sarah was able to distract him by removing her top.
Chuck whirled around to face the other way as soon as her lacy bra hove into view. Being at his home, the video surveillance prevented Devon's assessment. A fact Sarah planned on using to her advantage.
He was an idiot but, he would take time to reminder her that, he was her idiot.
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"Um, guys?" his eyes flew open "I know Kung Fu!" Morgan declared in his best Bruce Lee pose, which Chuck sadly thought was rather more accurately from Karate Kid II.
And put him in mind of Ralph Malph instead of Ralph Macchio.
"And I have a black belt in macramé" was Chuck's dry response.
Morgan dropped his foot "Actually, no, I think I might still actually have that. I forgot to return it when I borrowed it when we tried to double date the Esposito sist...ers..." Morgan trailed off, looking at Chuck in horror.
"And we agreed to never speak of that particular ...'event'... ever ag..."
"Oh, now I just have to know all about that" interrupted a musical voice, and the true reason Morgan was staring in horror.
"Sarah!" Chuck squeaked as he whipped around in surprise.
They both ignored the "Not a sound I expect to hear from a grown man" emanate from the middle distance.
She leant in close "Event?" she whispered her reminder into his ear.
Chuck smiled after a quick hello kiss "Or episode. Panic attack! Yes, panic attack, that probably best covers..." Chuck glanced at Morgan, who stood stock still with his eyes closed. Eventually Morgan tilted his head in a semi shrug and held up two fingers. "Yes, panic attack. Simultaneous panic attacks. We'll call it that. And how are you today?" concluded Chuck in a desperate attempt to distract a dangerously fully qualified field CIA operative that Chuck was painfully aware had seven lethal weapons currently secreted about her person. She made him watch as she'd positioned them, this morning.
"Event" she reminded him so he would know that the distraction did not quite work. Obviously, since she now had her arms folded, and looked like she was a heart beat away from the toe tapping stage of the festivities.
"Um... perhaps... we should continue this line of conversation later" Chuck eyed the circling Lester. He could smell fear. Jeff could smell beer. And often smelled of beer, but Lester had a 'I see scared people' kind of sixth sense. "Some of us would like to think we have some dignity to protect."
Morgan opened his mouth, but Chuck beat him to it "Or have recently acquired some dignity, and rather feel good about it." Morgan's mouth closed. Chuck returned his attention back to Sarah, where it belonged "And would like to maintain said quo as a regular status."
"Mmm hmm"
Chuck felt that Sarah's toe tapping phase had eased off a tad "Let's just say it didn't go well. At all. And we both had to stand up on the bus home, since we were wearing shorts soaked in something..." he leaned in to whisper to her in what he truly hoped was his sexiest breath "...fruity and alcoholic."
OK, so Sarah didn't shiver like he did when she did it to him. But her eyes were showing amusement.
"Hi" he began again "Did you... find that band we saw the other night?"
"Not yet, but I think I found somewhere you can take me tonight" she replied with a sideways smile.
Ah, a mission. Naturally. "Step into my office and we'll discuss this" Chuck took her hand as they went to the home cinema display room.
There was no actual lock, but the clever boys and girls of the Burbank Buy More had taken that as a personal challenge. For the past three years, a hidden latch – known only to all the staff except for Big Mike, and only operable from the inside of the room – performed the task of isolating the room from prying eyes.
Chuck turned around after closing the door, and found his girlfriend in his arms.
"So nothing from the Fulcrum team?" he asked after she released his lips.
"You really know how to sweet talk a girl" she grinned, keeping her arms around his neck "No, they seem to be keeping a low profile at the moment. But something else came up. We've been tasked to babysit some dignitary at the McGrath Foundation charity event tonight."
Chuck opened his mouth.
"It's for breast cancer. And yes, this is Beckman annoyed with us for the helicopter night" Sarah supplied.
Chuck closed his mouth. And then "Babysit?" found its way out.
"Bunch of dignitaries and what not. Black tie event. How hard can it be?"
Chuck actually winced "Have you been paying any attention during the last two years? Because it seems anytime we go somewhere nice..."
"Meet me in Castle after work, I'll have your tux ready" she said after silencing his lips with hers.
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Chuck was still having trouble with the bowtie after ten minutes. He was beginning to regret what Casey now referred to as 'the hissy fit' incident, and stayed with the clip-on. He spotted an amused pair of amazing blue eyes in the mirror. Sarah had snuck up behind him. Again.
Chuck turned, and his pleased cry of her name died a silent death.
Sarah had taken the 'little black dress' to a whole new dimension. After thirty seconds of unrecognisable articulations, his frontal cortex was able to form a partial sentence "Holy...bird...fu..."
"Thanks" she said with a genuinely shy Sarah smile, and then stepped in closer. "Let me" she said as she focused on the bowtie. In truth, she had the job done in seconds, but she allowed her hands to stay on him for a lot longer. She looked up into his eyes with a straight face, and said "Dapper."
"Thankyou. And you look amazing" he replied, not moving his gaze from her eyes.
*Grunt* (one of the ones in the mid thirties, Chuck hadn't been paying attention for some reason) came from outside the room.
"Time to go" said Chuck.
"Mmm hmm"
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When they got to the charity event, there was already a reasonable crowd. Ostensibly, their mission was to provide security for some Hollywood ingénue Chuck had never heard of. He began to realise that Beckman might have been disappointed with them over the whole 'divert a Chinook, and then a Hercules' for them the other week.
The team met with the teeny-bop starlet slash pop singer before arriving at the charity event. Chuck (and Casey, and the starlet) noticed that Sarah stood just a little bit closer to Chuck when they first met.
The ... healthy... young lady seemed to be referred to as Syreena. Chuck was reminded of a Monty Python scene about another young lady that could be described as owning acreage.
Casey was volunteered to ride with Syreena in the limo, after Sarah commandeered the Suburban without discussion. Chuck was dragged into the 'almost NSA' Suburban that the cover security company had provided.
Sarah referred to her detail at first as 'Styreena' then 'Styrofoam' and finally 'Squeakyfoam' (owing to, Chuck had admit, her immensely annoying laugh) for the rest of the evening.
Casey had a bad expression. A similar expression can be seen on the male portion of the audience sitting through a Hugh Grant marathon as they sit beside their wives, girlfriends or mistresses.
Chuck grinned, and then caught Sarah's expression. She wasn't happy either. When Chuck took her hand, she glared at him, and then softened. Chuck mimed killing the earwigs, so they both deactivated coms.
"Sarah? Are you upset about the mission tonight? Or the..." he thumbed over his shoulder at the following limo.
"Stupid, McBimbo brunet skanky skan..."
"I love you. You, Sarah Walker"
"Hmmph, she makes eyes at you again..."
"...and I'll never know. Because I'm in love. With you. Remember?" he risked a grin at her, and was rewarded with a small smile.
"Come on, let's spend an evening protecting Squeaky McBimbo McFoam from being groped more than her publicist wants her to be" he concluded once the coms were back on.
There came a very dejected grunt over the radio.
When they got to the hotel where the event was happening, Chuck discovered that having security guards to keep paparazzi away, had the opposite effect. It let the paparazzi know there was someone worth paparazzi-ing.
Young miss Syreena knew how to work an audience. She used the low cut dress as she stooped further forward that was needed to show those... talents to the waiting press. In the papers the following day, she was often cited as a reason for finding a cure for breast cancer.
In the frenzy of flash photography erupting around them, Chuck didn't quite know what to do. If he positioned himself between Sarah and Miss Whats-her-boobs, he could save one life, but at the risk of his own. If he allowed Sarah to stay between himself and Styrofoam, there was the risk that McBimbo and the world's press would hear what Sarah was muttering.
Casey, desperate to get away from all of them, saved the day. He just simply barged into, and forged a path through the paparazzi. Chuck followed in the wake of the large angry paparazzi-breaker. Sarah a pace behind Chuck.
Syreena, her publicist, make up assistant and a gopher slash unspecified job description named 'Bob' realised they were being left behind, and needed to trot to catch up with their own protection detail.
Media analysts would later demonstrate that this was the moment that made Syreena.
This was the time the world learned of the young unknown starlet, and turn her into the jaded, twice rehabbed, thrice married, Oscar nominated (never winning for an actual film), victim of three carefully timed 'stolen' sex tapes and Grammy winning 'name' known the world over.
The lovingly slowed down footage of Syreena's breasts bouncing individually as she trotted behind her own security detail became a huge hit on several video casting sites, and also something of a must-have rite of passage for male teenagers over the next seven years.
The publicist decided Chuck was the safest to speak to, and thanked him and his team for getting them inside in record time. Chuck was blissfully unaware she was being sarcastic. As had been previously arraigned, Syreena and her entourage would work the room from now on. The security detail could take a discreet distance, while still keeping an eye on their task.
The room was thus full of large men in suits and earpieces hovering in the wings, eyeing the crowd, as the glitterati mingled in a air of faked sincerity and tans. Chuck bumped into the man standing behind him "Oh... ah..." he started to apologise
"...Glenn McGrath" the man said to him, smiling at some private joke, with crinkles around his eyes. He was taller that Chuck, not a common occurrence. Older, and he had obviously spent time outdoors. "Thankyou for coming. Are you bidding in the auction later?" he added, holding his hand out.
Chuck realised he had some sort of nasally accent. Chuck shook his hand automatically "Ummm, I'm just... security" Chuck pointed vaguely over his shoulder "Sorry, are you something to do with the charity?"
"Something" said the man, smiling again, before a stunningly beautiful woman with an Italian accent interrupted with an apology "Glenn, sorry, you must meet..." she dragged him off to meet some VIPs Chuck had never heard of. From the man's expression, neither had he.
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I don't own Chuck et al. I did have seven nominations in the current Awesomes at one stage... but someone found out. I'm currently down to just the one.
(Stares fixedly at camera and speaks in monotone) "It-is-an-honour-just-to-have-been–nom-in-ated."
In all honestly, truly it has been an honour.
I only found out about Chuck one year ago, this month. And been a member here for a bit over six months, and to have even been remotely considered in comparison to the real nominees – I quote a fellow nominee – "Holy Crap!"
To all who nominated, and voted,
Thank you.
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