Alison was sitting in one of the back rooms of the chapel, staring at herself in the mirror. Hanna was still fussing over her hair and endlessly talking but Ali heard none of it. Her nerves were getting the best of her and she wasn't sure if they were good or bad. The only thing keeping her calm was the soothing music pumping through the speaker in the corner of the room. Half of her wanted to tuck tail and run away but the other half of her knew that wasn't an option. Elliott was somewhere nearby waiting for her. She knew he was excited and couldn't wait to see her. That was all she needed to think about to keep herself from disappearing. He was good to her and he honestly loved her. She loved him as well, but she couldn't stop thinking about her dream wedding.
Years ago, she had a much different wedding in mind and she had her heart set on it, but it was no longer a reality. She didn't care about the location or the decorations. She didn't care what flavor the wedding cake was or if they served chicken or salmon. The main difference that bothered her was the person she was meeting at the end of the aisle. Life took her down a different path and she had to accept that. If she focused on everything from her past she would never be able to move forward and build a future for herself. Alison shook herself out of her thoughts when Hanna roughly tugged on a strand of her curled, golden hair.
"Ow, Han! Watch out."
"Sorry, I'm almost finished, I promise." The other blonde was too busy applying half a can of hairspray to have sincerely meant her apology. She wanted Alison to look perfect, especially because everyone knew she was in charge of hair and makeup.
"Ok, Ali. It's time to get you into that dress. You only have fifteen minutes before you need to walk down the aisle." Hanna said as she walked across the room to retrieve the gorgeous, white gown that now fit perfectly.
There was a knock on the door and Alison's eyes snapped up. Hanna cracked the door open and saw that it was Spencer and Aria. They entered the room in purple bridesmaid's dresses that matched Hanna's. Alison couldn't choose which of her friends she wanted to be the maid of honor, so she opted to not have one.
"Hey, Ali. We just wanted to see you before the wedding started." Aria said with a soft smile.
"She was just about to put her gown on, so you're just in time," Hanna said as she approached the other blonde with the long garment.
Alison dropped her silk bathrobe and stepped into the dress. Hanna zipped the back and helped to smooth out any creases before the soon to be bride turned to face all three of her friends.
"What do you guys think?" Alison nervously asked.
"You are stunning." Spencer breathed out with tears in her eyes.
"Elliott is one lucky man," Aria said with a laugh.
"Very lucky. However, if you want to ditch him and marry me instead, I am willing. You are a goddess, Ali." Hanna said causing Alison to burst out laughing.
"Knock it off, Hanna," Alison said with a playful shove to the other woman's shoulder.
Spencer cleared her throat, hoping she wasn't about to make things too awkward. "So, Emily sends her regards. She said to wish you good luck."
"I half expected her to come see me before the wedding started," Alison said, not concealing her disappointment.
"She wanted to, but she wasn't sure if it would be appropriate," Spencer explained.
"Yeah," Aria agreed. "She didn't want to upset you on your big day. She wasn't sure if you wanted to see her."
"I actually would. . . Like to see her, that is. Would you mind sending her back here?" Alison asked though a part of her was unsure if it was a good idea.
All three bridesmaids left the room, knowing that when Emily showed up they would need a moment alone. To them, it felt wrong to be helping with Alison's wedding, knowing that Emily wasn't the person the blonde was marrying but they couldn't abandon Alison. Over the course of her relationship with Emily, all five women had grown close. Even after the breakup, Alison kept in contact with the other three women. It felt odd that Emily didn't have a special place in the wedding like the rest of them but at the same time they knew it would be too much for the swimmer. If Emily wasn't going to be the other bride, then she didn't need to participate in the wedding.
They knew it was Emily's reluctance to get married that caused Alison to move on, but they still felt bad for their friend. They knew that she had never stopped loving Alison, even though she didn't want to get married. At times, they felt stuck in the middle, but this day was about Alison, so they had to do anything they could for her. If she wanted to speak to Emily they would bring the other woman to her, which is exactly what they did. Emily was unsure of it at first but after they insisted that Alison asked for her she caved in and followed them to the double doors that led to the blonde's dressing room. The second the doors opened they gently shoved the brunette inside and slammed them behind her.
Alison turned around and caught sight of her ex-lover. She looked beautiful in a form-fitting, dark blue dress with a black choker to match her heels, while her hair was in a neat bun on top of her head. Emily was so beautiful that it broke Alison's heart, but the brunette was feeling the same way. Sure, she had already seen Alison in her wedding dress, but she hadn't seen her with her hair and makeup done or with the attached veil. Emily took a deep breath as she looked at the blonde, not sure what she should say since Alison was the one that requested her presence.
"Thank you for coming today. I honestly couldn't picture this day without you." Alison said.
"There was no way that I could miss it, Ali. How could I pass up the opportunity to see you like this?" Emily said while trying to keep her emotions in check.
"I know it isn't easy, being here, but I really am thankful," Alison spoke as she walked forward.
The two women stared at each other, wondering what to say next. Emily noticed that Alison wasn't wearing her heels yet, which left the blonde several inches shorter. Alison had to tilt her head up just to make eye contact with Emily. She still didn't know what she wanted to say, all she knew was that she needed to see the brunette one last time before she got married. Now that they were in the same room, Alison didn't want Emily to leave. She took one more brave step in Emily's direction and wrapped her arms around the other woman's waist. She needed to do it because she felt like she was saying goodbye, though they already did that several years prior.
Emily immediately wrapped her arms around Alison's shoulders and held the blonde close. Both women remained silent as Alison rested her cheek on Emily's bare shoulder. The only sound was coming from the speaker which was playing a soft melody. It was a mix of piano and a string quartet. The soothing sound helped Alison to relax once again. Emily didn't want to let Alison go, so she reached for the other woman's arm and tugged until their hands met. Emily laced their fingers and slowly began to sway side to side while the blonde followed her lead. There were many times that Alison imagined slow dancing with Emily on her wedding day, but she had never imagined it would be like this. Alone in her dressing room while her groom was somewhere waiting for her.
Alison allowed Emily to lead her all around the spacious room, never once removing her head from the brunette's shoulder. They danced and enjoyed the moment until the song came to an end. Emily stilled their bodies, but they didn't pull apart. The only movement Alison made was when she tilted her head up in search of Emily's eyes. The brunette sighed as she looked down to meet Alison's. When she glanced up and their gazes instantly locked, Alison felt her bottom lip beginning to tremble. She had wanted to marry Emily so badly and now she would never get that chance. All because they were both stubborn, foolish, and too full of pride.
"Ali, don't. Don't cry. You're supposed to be happy today." Emily said, feeling her heart crumbling at the sight of Alison looking so broken once again.
The blonde didn't even try to speak, knowing that as soon as she did she would lose control of her emotions. It was taking all her concentration to prevent herself from crying, but she couldn't stop her lip from trembling. Emily boldly reached up and swiped Alison's bottom lip with her thumb. It was meant to comfort the blonde but instead, it caused a lone tear to escape her eye. Emily was never able to handle it when Alison cried. It was her weakness all those years ago and it still had an effect on her. Instinctively, Emily began inching her face toward her ex-girlfriend. Alison didn't make a move to pull away. She was spellbound by Emily. All she was able to do was close her eyes and wait for the contact that finally came.
They held their lips in place for a long moment before pulling away, only to lean forward again. Alison knew she shouldn't be kissing Emily, but she couldn't stop herself. She needed the closure and if this was how she got it then so be it. Alison felt her knees trembling as their lips met over and over. Emily's grip on Alison's waist tightened as she opened her mouth wider to swipe her tongue through the blonde's lips. Alison quietly moaned as her own tongue met Emily's. She knew Hanna was going to have to reapply her lipstick, but it didn't matter to her. In this moment, all she cared about was Emily.
"Em, we can't," Alison whispered before pressing her lips to Emily's once more.
"Then tell me to stop," Emily mumbled between kisses. "Push me away."
But Alison didn't. She only pulled Emily closer, almost as if she was afraid the brunette really would stop. Alison felt as though they were going to get carried away because neither woman wanted to be the one to end the kiss. They kept growing sloppier and needier. Emily roughly squeezed Alison's hips while the blonde's perfectly manicured nails were biting into the flesh of the other woman's shoulders. What started out as a soft kiss turned into a full-blown make-out session. Emily's lips strayed from Alison's as they traveled to her neck. Alison tilted her head to the side and felt her heart pounding in her chest. She felt like a horrible person because she never wanted Emily to stop. Her breathing grew labored when she felt the other woman's tongue sliding against the sensitive skin of her neck.
Alison released a breathy moan when she felt Emily's teeth lightly scraping her neck. The brunette then kissed her way back to Alison's lips before the blonde switched their position. The bride-to-be began devouring Emily's neck as though she was starving. Emily's jaw dropped while her hands slid against the back of Alison's dress, wanting nothing more than to tear it off. Both women were happy to continue until a knock at the door caused them to break apart.
The two quickly put some distance between themselves as Alison smoothed out the wrinkles on her dress. She glanced at Emily one last time before calling out to the person on the other side. "Come in."
Hanna entered the room and looked at her watch. "You have five minutes. Are you ready?"
Alison looked at Emily and closed her eyes before sighing. She wasn't ready. She would never be ready, but her head nodded on its own. She knew she couldn't leave him at the altar, not that she had any reason to leave him. Emily was still able to take her breath away but that didn't change the fact that they wanted different things.
"You are not ready!" Hanna exclaimed. "Your lipstick is everywhere, and that includes on Emily's face and shoulder. What you two do is none of my business but you will not ruin your makeup on my watch. Quick, sit down and let me fix this. BOTH of you."
Both women sheepishly sat down while Hanna made them presentable once more, which took almost the entire five minutes. The blonde began to clear up Alison's makeup first before moving on to Emily. She managed to keep a straight face the entire time she was working on the bride-to-be but when it was her turn to clean Alison's lipstick off the brunette she couldn't contain her smirk. Everyone loved Emily and Alison together and everyone in their group had wanted them to work things out so badly. It was never the same after their break up and everyone knew they never stopped loving each other. Hanna tried to make eye contact with Emily the entire time she touched up her makeup, causing the tanned woman to grimace as she avoided the blonde's gaze. She wasn't sure how she was going to explain this one, but she knew that the moment Alison wasn't around, Hanna would be cornering her and demanding answers. These were answers that Emily didn't even have for herself.
Once Hanna was finished she called out, "Ok, you are both flawless once again. Let's keep it that way. At least until the wedding is over."
Emily suddenly felt sick. She knew the reason Alison's makeup would be ruined after the wedding and it wasn't because they would be making out again. Alison would be going on her honeymoon and she would be under the sheets with someone else. She felt stupid for kissing the woman on her wedding day, but it had felt right. As long as Alison was reciprocating then she wouldn't have been able to stop herself.
Emily knew she needed to get away from the blonde. She stood and walked to the door, glancing over her shoulder one last time. She stared at Alison for a moment before speaking. "Good luck, Alison. I hope he treats you the way you deserve and that you are truly happy."
Emily quickly left the room, feeling herself beginning to choke up. She went in search of her mother, knowing that she wouldn't be able to make it through the wedding. She found Pam sitting with Mrs. Montgomery, Mrs. Marin, and Mrs. Hastings. She looked as though she was having a great time, which she knew was true since they had already gotten into a bottle of wine earlier. Emily hated to take away her mother's good time, especially since the older Fields' woman didn't get out much while her husband was deployed, so she approached and gently placed her hand on her shoulder.
"Hey, mom. I was just going to let you know that I am heading out."
"Are you alright? I'll come with you." Pam said with a look of concern etched across her face.
Emily was quick to shoot that idea down. "No, that's ok. Just enjoy the people, food, and champagne and I will see you tonight."
"Em, if this is too difficult for you then I want to be there with you. I told you, at any moment we can leave together." Pam insisted.
"Mom, I will be ok. I just need some time to myself. I'm going to go home, get in my pajamas and eat some junk food. Really. I want you to stay in my place, please." Emily gave her one final pleading look before her mother huffed in frustration.
"I hate it when I can't be there for you, Emmy."
"I know, but you can be there with me tonight. I will have plenty of time to myself and then we can watch a movie or something when you get home." Emily insisted one last time before her mother caved.
"Fine, but call me if you need anything. I mean it. I'll drop anything for you." Pam said while giving her daughter a reassuring hug.
"Thanks, mom. I'll see you in a few hours. Love you."
"Love you too, baby," Pam said, not turning away from her only child until she was out of sight.
Emily had left the room with only a few minutes to spare before the wedding began. Pam watched and smiled at everyone, especially at her daughter's best friends. They looked so beautiful as they walked down the aisle. Pam felt herself tearing up, which became worse when the bride entered the room. There was a point in her life when Pam just knew that Alison was going to be her daughter-in-law. It took some time for Pam to warm up to the idea of Emily being a lesbian, but Alison only helped matters. She was a wonderful young woman, that much was obvious to anyone who met her. Once she had gotten over the initial shock of her daughter being gay, Pam welcomed Alison with open arms.
She knew why things didn't work out between her daughter and the gorgeous blonde that was currently being led down the aisle by her father. She just didn't understand why Emily so strongly opposed marriage and children. She came from a good loving home. Both her parents adored her and each other but for some reason, Emily didn't believe in it. Pam would always be on her daughter's side even when she was wrong, but she didn't blame Alison for leaving.
Alison's eyes were supposed to be glued to her fiancé as she walked down the aisle but instead, they were darting everywhere in search of Emily. She needed to see the other woman one last time to ensure that she wasn't making a mistake. A part of her wanted Emily to oppose the wedding. A part of her wanted Emily to ask her to run away when they were in the dressing room but instead, the brunette remained mostly silent. After Alison glanced over the bride's side she then searched the groom's. Emily was nowhere to be seen and she felt her heart break a small fraction from the knowledge that Emily was honestly going to let her go again.
She looked at Pam and furrowed her brows only to be met with a sympathetic frown and a slow shake of the head. Emily wasn't at her wedding and honestly, Alison couldn't blame her. She would never be able to watch Emily get married to someone else but then again, she was the one willing to get married. Emily was the one who refused.
She finally made it to the end where Elliott's beaming face greeted her. She smiled back at him though it was in no way the smile she would be giving Emily. Before she knew it, the wedding began, and she found herself repeating her vows. The same vows that millions of people had already said. Alison didn't take the time to write her own. Elliott had suggested it, but she brushed the idea off and told him it was too corny. He didn't push her on it but if she was being honest, she knew it wasn't corny. If Emily had suggested it, she would have felt her heart melt into a puddle, but Emily didn't suggest it and she wasn't marrying Emily.
As if she was on autopilot, Alison went through the motions and said what she needed to say, all the while halfway hoping that Emily would burst through the doors and whisk her away. If Emily actually did do that, Alison wasn't sure how she would react. However, she knew that if it didn't happen, then she was where she needed to be and that life would guide her down the path that she was meant to take. In the end, she couldn't help but feel a bit disappointed when no one objected to the wedding and suddenly she felt herself being kissed by her husband.
Once he pulled away, Alison plastered on a fake smile. As she walked back down the aisle she gave herself a pep talk.
'If you were meant to be with her then you would have never broken up. If you two were meant to be together she would have said something in the dressing room. She would have opposed the wedding. She would have come home sooner and tried to fix things, but she didn't. You are married to a good man. You are meant to be with him and soon you will start a family with him. These are things you have always wanted, and you deserve them. He is giving you everything you ever asked for while Emily wouldn't even consider it. Here she is, once again, letting you walk away. She doesn't even fight for you. That is how you know you made the right choice. You are going to build a life with Elliott and you will be happy together. Sure, you don't feel the same fire for him that you do Emily but sometimes our first choice simply isn't an option. You will never feel the same for anyone as you do for your first love but that is all she is. Now you are with your second love and he will give you the world. Don't mess this up, Alison.'
She felt a tear fall down her cheek as she finished her mental pep talk. Elliott noticed it and assumed it was a tear of joy. Once they were out of the main room and away from prying eyes he turned and smiled at her. He reached his hand up and wiped away her tear before leaning forward to kiss his wife. He pulled away and smiled once more, which Alison returned.
"This has been the happiest day of my life and it's only getting started." He whispered.
Alison genuinely smiled at him because he was a great person. He loved her and did anything he could for her. When she looked into his eyes she could honestly see love. On top of that, they were friends. They got along great and she sincerely enjoyed the time she spent with him. It was in that moment that she vowed to be the best wife she could be. He deserved to be with a good woman and it was her new goal to be as great to him as he was to her. No more kissing Emily, no more pining for a woman who didn't want her. This was her life now and she was going to do everything she could to make it as incredible as possible.
I am loving your reviews and how you are analyzing Emily and Alison so thoroughly. The things they are experiencing aren't simple. Even they don't fully understand or know how to handle the situation and I'm glad that so many of you are able to look deeper than the surface. Thanks for reading and please keep those reviews coming.
