Chapter 3

Inuyasha's POV

My head throbbed badly and my ribs felt like they were cutting into my lungs. This time I hadn't been so lucky. Not that it was any different from my normal condition; just a little worse. I would definitely prefer living on the streets alone; like I had done so many years ago, than being beaten up each time I dared to open my mouth.

"Hey half breed!"

The man's voice echoed in my head, over and over again…

"Hey half breed!"

"Hey half breed!"

"Hey half breed!"

That so of a bitch.

I wouldn't mind punching the daylights out of that bastard. Though the exceptional amount of alcohol consumption and the probable past overdoses of drugs would probably do him in faster than my fists. I would wear a big wide grin the day I would see him being dragged out of the camp and thrown into some random hole outside.

I would definitely enjoy seeing that.

Maybe I was just being cruel, or maybe the years of time wasted here had gotten to my head, but I liked seeing people in pain. I liked seeing that needy, agonized expression they held when they knew they were close to death. It was like taking revenge on all the people who had hurt me. Basically, it was revenge on the world. And I loved every fucking moment of it.

Yeah, I was a sadistic maniac. So what? It wasn't not like I had chosen to be this way, they had made me this way. They had forced me to hate everything and everyone. They had forced me to be the arrogant psychopath I was now. It wasn't something that bothered me; in fact I enjoyed it.

What was the point of acting nice? I was stuck in this fucking place for life, what did it matter if I was good or bad? I didn't have a future outside; I was stuck here, and my only job was to be used as a target. Nothing more.

I twisted my lips to the side and grimaced. Thinking about my life had made me realize just how pathetic I really was. Useless. Pointless. Aimless.

Pathetic.

I had no purpose in life. Nobody would care, hell nobody would even notice if I died. Everyone here was lost in their own misery. Some turned the anger out, and attacked everyone and anyone who came in their way. Some turned it inward and drove themselves mad. Some couldn't take it and ended up killing themselves. I had seen, countless times, people being dragged out of the camp and thrown out into some unknown location. I had seen people simply stare at the wall for hours, unmoving. I had seen people been dragged away without being dead, but never coming back in. Killed.

The Shikon camps couldn't exactly be called "forgiving". If you did something they didn't approve of, you would either be killed, or tortured so bad you would wish you were dead. If you were lucky, you would live an inconspicuous life in silence and die of old age. Rarely anyone made it that far. Since all the inhabitants were criminals, or "worthless half demons" like me; nobody really lasted for so long. The majority would do something stupid and end up dead one way or another.

I hoped I wouldn't be one of them. I enjoyed the pain of people who caused me pain. I hated the suffering. But I was sentenced to a life of pain; and there was nothing I could do about it. At least, not that I knew of.

The air in the room reeked of sweat, smoke and alcohol; it was driving me mad. Only ten more minutes, then I'd be able to walk out of the room and into the "garden". Clean air seemed like only a myth right now…

The clock ticked by sluggishly; mocking me. I watched as the handle turned over and over again.

5 minutes….4 minutes…3 minutes….2 minutes…

1 minute…

A buzzer went off, signaling my escape. I bolted out the door before anyone else could even register what they had heard. Sharp pains shot down my legs with each step I took, but I ignored them. All I wanted to do was be able to breathe again.

The sky had darkened fast, courtesy of the approaching winter; and I was grateful for it. There was no moon tonight; but the stars were clearly visible. Dots of shimmering silver were scattered across midnight blue; providing enough light for me to find my way to the edge of the wall. I inhaled deeply and closed my eyes.

Just being out of that room felt like being on the other side. I imagined what it would be like o be free again; to be able to walk around as I wished. Maybe I would have a house, maybe even a car. I would have a job, and a family-…

I cut that though short. My parents were both dead. The idea that I could start a family on my own was appealing, but simply a fairytale. I was different. Too different.

That simple fact managed to put a lump in my throat. The fact that I had lost the only family I had ever had saddened me. The fact that I would never be able to have another one was downright painful. I didn't want to think I would spend the rest of my life in solitude; but the hope of a family I had once dreamt of was evanescent. One day, it would completely dissolve into nothingness.

And somehow, I was okay with that.

I supposed I had grown use to it over the years. I had had enough time to accept it; and though unwillingly, embrace it.

I stared up at the wall and tried to follow up to the ledge. I considered climbing, but realized it would be impossible to escape. Jumping would be easy enough, but after that… I wasn't so sure I would be able to run away so easily.

The guards. The guards would run after me. I might have strong legs, but they had guns. One shot and I would be flat on the ground. Then I would share the same faith as many other assassins. Shot. Killed. Then thrown into a random hole.

Well, at least I would have died with a purpose…

Pathetic.

I ran my hand across the rough surface of a stone and sighed. This was as close as I would get to the other side.

For now.

Only a couple of feet away lay freedom; unattainable. So close, yet so far away. All I had to do was accept it.

For now.

/a.n./ I hope you liked that! More chapters to come soon! Also, please check my poll for the new chapters of Fukuzatsuna Ai; its on my profile.. Thanks!