// I have the wisdom of several millennia in my soul and the entire military knowledge of eight hundred generations of humans in my head- about two hundred generations of works still on my shelves- yet here I am in the middle of the night doing nothing but staring at butterflies //

Tenpou stretched and sunk deeper into the seat of his cluttered desk, a newly lit cigarette dangling from his lips and a fiery cup of strong wine propped up on a low stool next to him. Just fresh out of a greatly needed hot bath, the marshal's damp hair clung to the smooth skin of his cheeks and forehead and he sighed contentedly, letting his muscles relax little by little, aided by the lullaby-sweet warmth of alcohol that flowed through his veins.

The heavy air around him was still steamy from his bath, and he had opened the window to let the night breeze grace his senses. Tenpou delighted in the feeling of the tender coolness washing over him- like featherlight kisses from the darkness that whispered over his moistened face and neck.

//I guess even this broken down paradise has its moments// thought Tenpou sleepily as his eyes began to drift shut, his vision shifting between darkness and the occasional glimmer of the night butterflies with the shimmering wings ... butterflies that have danced by his window night after night...butterflies that he had never even seen before Goku came to point them out although they were always there by the window... every night since the beginning of time.

Yes...Goku saw things nobody else did, sensed things nobody knew existed, and felt things everyone else was too empty to feel. So yes...in a sense...Goku was actually much knowledgeable in that area of life than the older man. The boy's perception was so finely tuned to a frequency the marshal was just not capable of receiving, much less transmitting. Which meant that Goku had the ability to achieve the innocent fulfillment of Tenpou-didn't-know-what... and it was that...that *thing* (whatever it was) that made one feel wholly alive.

Long before Goku was brought from earth, Tenpou had discovered that emptiness, but hadn't the slightest idea what to do about it. The helplessness of the situation was quite frustrating, really, but he managed to plug that gaping hole in his heart with books. And after half an eternity of endless readings, he concluded there was no more room save for scrolls and strategy. No ravine to fall through. The ice was safe...solid down to the bottom. Which meant that he was completely immune to...

Attachments. Silly things they were. Tenpou never even believed himself capable of it. But when some eloquently swearing, alcohol chugging general decided to barge into his life with a stun gun and ice pick, the marshal started to doubt. That's when it became dangerous- in more ways than one. Looking objectively (and perhaps this was how Konzen saw it), Kenren and Tenpou together were like a deadly bullet in the hands of a master marksman. The dull-witted court aristocrats saw something else completely different. Lovers. Let them believe it. If all had Konzen's eyes, then Tenpou would have to settle for a stalemate in his gameplan. Whatever he wished to happen would never happen and the pain of his loss would be drowned in another half eternity of war literature. Collective ignorance was key...but to what?

To creating a heaven someone like Liam wouldn't wish to condemn. Certainly, if Tenpou didn't do it, his earthly counterpart just might when he discovers how stifling the air is up here...but the marshal wanted to feel alive as well, though not in the way Goku did.

The only way Tenpou could ever *feel* himself existing was to see what he had the power to do with his own hands, his own mind, even if it meant suffering the consequences. At least when you suffer, you know you're alive. "Fling yourself straight into life, without deliberation; don't be afraid- the flood will bear you to the bank and set you safe on your feet again." he once read.

And what of people...certain hotheaded generals...who didn't know how to swim?

Kenren was good to him, but Tenpou Gensui felt that he had no right to drag the general down with him if ever he should fall. The marshal had already lost one subordinate. One was enough. Two would be fine only if that second one never looked at Tenpou with "that look" in his eyes that said...-Tenpou smiled to himself, only a hint of a blush in his cheeks.

No. Better to stand alone when the moment comes. Better for Kenren. Better for Tenpou. Better for Goku and Konzen.

There. Done. Signed, sealed, and delivered. He was decided. When they got to the edge of that damn metaphorical lake, Kenren was going to *stay* there and watch while Tenpou crossed- even if he had to tie the Taishou to a fucking tree to keep him from following.

So then, where was Kenren in the entire scheme of things? He drank. He smoked, He always stirred up trouble so that Tenpou could do his planning. He swore. He shouted. He cleaned up Tenpou's study. He was the only one who actually forced the other to take baths. He laughed. He spoke without reservation.

He was useful, so utterly useful. Nothing less...and Tenpou wished he could complete that thought with 'nothing more' but it would have been a downright lie.

But...'so much more'? What proof was there of such an assertion? A few sidelong glances? A flirtatious comment or two? That was nothing. As a matter of fact, 'nothing' was safer ground. 'Something' would have been quicksand- and it was the only thing in this universe that frightened him.

Conclusion: there was no room left for that 'something.' Tenpou had resolved long ago that his life was nothing more than literature and equations, indelible historical facts and the scientific. In short, he figured everything out eventually. Everything except for 'the obscure something'. So to make the equation a little easier to handle, if one cancels it out from both sides, the function simplifies itself, giving the exact number of answers required by the original problem. Factor in ambiguous sentiments, and one is bound to fall straight into an irrational and highly radical trap.

Then again, if he wanted life super simple, he could just stop thinking about equations, relationships, and war altogether and just stare at the nighttime butterflies dancing under the moonlight. And stare he did. And think he didn't. Until he was pulled into sleep's gentle embrace.

***

From the palace to Tenpou's room and study in the Western Army's living complex was a journey in itself. And like all good journeys, Kenren's involved a few rest stops to take a swig or two or three from his wine flask.

Not in the mood to risk braving the labyrinth of hallways, bedrooms, kitchens, studies, strategy rooms, sitting rooms and courtyards, Kenren cut through the palace gardens and crossed into the understandably less ornate east terrace of the Western Army complex. True to Konzen's word, the marshal's rooms were illuminated by a soft glow of golden lamplight.

Intruding had been easy enough, for the window to the bedroom was unlocked. To Kenren's dismay, nobody was there. Stepping gingerly about carelessly ignored books and half unrolled scrolls, Kenren Taishou maneuvered his way to Tenpou's study.

"Oi, Tenpou!" he called out. No response.

With a resigned grumble about how books made people deaf, Kenren rounded the last corner. What greeted him was silence and the object of his search slumped against a chair, fast asleep, his head tilted downward and wet brunette locks falling into his face.

A single cold cigarette sat in the ashtray and a nearly empty glass of wine stood nearby. Then...something flickered, silver and shiny. Kenren approached the desk and squinted to clear up his alcohol fogged vision. He couldn't help but laugh quietly, his previous irritation with the man fading away into the recesses of his mind.

A little butterfly had decided use to Tenpou's head as a temporary perch.

"What if he wakes up and finds you there, eh?" The alcohol began to speak to the butterfly. "You'll end up as a little squashed wall decoration that I'll have to clean up later on."

The butterfly answered the only way it could: with silence.

"Oh, so you like it there? Not that I blame you, but..." Kenren said almost apologetically as he brushed the butterfly away, sending it fluttering back to its spot by the window. "I don't like to share."

His attention back to the slumbering marshal, Kenren absently reached down and tucked the unruly strands of hair back behind Tenpou's ear. The other stirred quietly, head tilting ever so slightly towards the general's light touch.

So as Kenren silently gazed at the marshal, his one last train of coherent thought was running circles in his head, steadfast on one undeviating track. And as he looked harder at that calm face, for once vulnerable, for once unguarded; and as he looked at those slightly parted lips, for once not bearing a deceptive message, for once inviting...

Two words began to form in his mind's eye in meekly scrawled letters that flashed in psychedelic Technicolor...

*Why not?*

Kenren held his breath, and for one sweeping instant, the room was silent save the deep and easy sounds of Tenpou's steady breathing.

Perhaps momentary delusion was what caused Kenren to actually contemplate actualizing what he felt was way beyond him. Or maybe it was the crazy belief in that delusion that moved him to kneel quietly by the marshal's side, eyes fixed on pale lips. Or maybe it was the alcohol -sweet confidence in a bottle- that gave Kenren the nerve to lean down and touch that quietly waiting mouth with his own in an ever so gentle kiss.

For an instant, perhaps even a fraction of an instant, he felt Tenpou lean into him. Then against his better judgment (which prompted him to just get up and walk away...fast) Kenren lingered hopefully, so drugged by the entire experience that he didn't notice a single emerald eye flutter sleepily open. And it was no more than a second after Tenpou's leap from unconsciousness that Kenren found himself painfully toppled to the floor, his own tranquilizer gun against his neck, and a VERY wakeful field marshal looking down upon him with a cool, near expressionless gaze. The only indication that Tenpou was in some form surprised was that his breathing had visually quickened, breaths mildly shallower as he immediately regained composure.

But something about the steeliness and quiet anger in those eyes told Kenren that the other was actually still quite confused, much less fully awake, given that Tenpou appeared more to be looking straight through him instead of actually at him. The brunette had acted out of a purely programmed, automatic survival reflex, and the general figured that the safest way to get through this without getting humiliatingly blasted by his own weapon was by waiting until Tenpou collected his mental faculties once again.

Swiftly and surely, the mechanically inset expression was lifted and the stern visage was replaced by one of near impassive puzzlement.

"Oh. It's you."