THE FIRST DATE
Jo's POV:
What is even love? I've always thought it doesn't exist, not the way it's seen in movies anyway. I was married, but I don't think I was truly in love. I did love him. That's why I got married to him. But he sure as hell did not love me. I mean, I was naïve to think he did because now I know that what he showed wasn't love, it was just an act.
How do you hit someone you love? You don't. You never kay your hand on them, let alone punch them so hard and so many times that they end up in the hospital so hurt that they are barely hanging on, and repeat the same scenario so many times that they lose count. That's not human. It isn't love. It isn't hate. It's something only a monster is capable of doing.
I see that now as sit here in this fancy, probably way overpriced restaurant, on a date with the most amazing guy I've ever met. The funny thing is that, the more time I spend with him, the safer and more amazing I feel. No guy has ever made me feel that. Ever. He isn't a sweetheart at first glance, which sounds bad but it really isn't. I mean, my ex was a sweetheart and all that did is put me in the hospital several times. Alex is, in fact, at first just a very smart douche bag. But that's only before you meet him though.
I met him, and found out that he is better than any other guy I've met so far in my life. He's honest and that makes him seem like a douche at first because people hate honesty. People are liars.
But he, he makes me feel something that words cannot describe. It's that something he has that no other guy does, and that's why he makes me feel like nobody ever has before. He really treats me like a princess. I mean, the fact that he calls me princess is annoying, but I love the fact that he treats me like one.
I've never done anything like this. This whole overpriced restaurant, fancy dresses, suits and all this classiness, but I actually think I kind of like it. I am awkward, and I am nervous and I am probably acting like a huge fool, but he just seems so relaxed and like this is something he has done a million times, which is bad as it means he's had a bunch of girlfriends before me, which should probably bother me but it doesn't. But, I knew that already so I guess I'm fine.
Alex's POV:
As I bring my hands towards my face to run them thru my hair to distract myself a bit, I realise how nervous I am. She's smiling and laughing like I've never seen her do before, she seems genuinely happy, like a little child. It's like she's giving me frickin' butterflies or some nonsense like that. I'm really falling for her. And that, alone, scares the life out of me.
I stare at her as I mindlessly wipe the palms of my sweaty hand on the most expensive pair of pants I've ever worn in my life. She's breathtakingly beautiful and it's not even funny. She's making my brain twist and my heart beat in so many ways, that I can say for sure, if I wasn't a doctor I'd think I'm dying. I guess April was right. True love does exist, or whatever crap along those lines she always says.
As I bring my thoughts back into reality, I realise how much I screwed up. I'm freaking out here. Since when does Alex Karev take girls out to have a fancy dinner with him. And, out of so many stupid interns that chase around me every day, I decide to invite the one I actually like, heck, love.
This is not something I do. I mean, the most I've ever is invited a girl out to an on-call room for a quickie. Inviting Jo out was at the same time the best and worst idea of my life, besides the cancer marriage, that is. Well, this can only go two ways – good or bad.
I sure hope it goes well.
Alex: "Wait, so you actually stole a car? Like, drove it away and all?"
Jo: "Yes, so what? I needed a car, was on my own and took a car for some rich guy who probably had like 4 other ones anyway. And for the record, now that you've said it that way, I realise how bad it all sounds. I was just…always on my own. So yes, the way I've dealt with things wasn't always the best, but it got me here so it's not all that bad, right?
Yes, I did some bad things I'm not proud of and I know it, but mocking me…that's just rude!
And now I'm rambling and yelling at you, my date, which totally proves your point and-…" Jo bit her tongue so quickly she seemed like a car that ran out of gas and suddenly stopped in the middle of a highway. But she had to do it, anything but telling him the whole story, not yet.
Jo's POV:
Damn, I went too far once again. I went too far, I told him I was on my own and I told him I stole cars. Now all I have left to do is tell him I lived in one of the cars I stole, take my bag, leave, and pray to God her never talks to me again. –who am I kidding? Josephine interrupted her own thoughts. Who am I kidding? –she questioned herself. He'll never want to talk to me again anyways. He's kind, hot, charming, and on top of all that, his job is literally to save babies and heal tiny kids. He's perfect. How much better does it get? And I had to screw it all up… I always do…
Alex: "I only stole two, but I did manage to get away with it both times., so I guess that counts, right?" –he said as his natural smirk, innocent but classic to him, appeared on his face. Sometimes he did it by choice, for example, when he was making fun of someone. But other times… it was hus twisted way of showing happiness…or as close to happiness as somebody with so much burden in their life like Alex can get...but, knowing if the smirk was because on his face because he's mocking someone, or actually happy, only a few people could judge. And apparently, Jo sadly wasn't one of them, not yet that is.
Jo: "Yeah, mocking me isn't going to get you in my hands. " And right after saying that, just like almost anything Jo's said that night, she instantly regretted it.
Alex:"I don't want to get into your pants. I want to get to know you well, Jo. And for the record, I'm not mocking." –That was the first time in his life that Alex has said that sentence, and meant it. He felt weird, but good, and the nervousness was at this point long gone…
Alex's POV:
Does she really think I'm mocking her? Maybe now it makes sense- the way she hated hearing me call her princess and all. But, I can't help it. She really is a princess. Rich or poor. She's beautiful, and the fact that she had rough time growing up it seems, makes me simply love her even more. Alex had no idea he just admitted that he loves Jo…but it was true. Everything he thought and said that night was true.
Growing up on the streets is tough, and I know it. I would never mock… Maybe this date wasn't such a bad idea after all… "he thought
Alex: But why's you steal cars? It's not like you had to ride to school or something?" he asked innocently but no matter what he said after that sentence, or the way he said it, Jo felt like a knife just went thru her heart and made nothing but anger rush thru her veins.
Jo: " No, but I had no place to live! And you know what? If you have a problem with that, with the fact that I was strong and independent enough to take matters in my own hands when I was only 16 years old, that worked my ass off to get the things I have now, to get to be where I am now…high school, college, med school, the residency program, meeting you, if you think- Alex cut her off by gently putting his hand on her am so softly and gently, like she was made of glass and just enough for her to feel his warmth. Once he did that, she froze immediately. It was like a spark of electricity went thru her- or maybe it really was a spark, a spark full of love and care she never felt before. Jo froze, but also flinched at the same time, just a tad bit. He didn't notice it though – or so she hoped.
That flinch scared her because it wasn't something she did because she wanted to. It was automatic. It just happened and made her instantly doubt everything.
She thought she was ready. She was, in fact, almost completely sure she was. But, the truth is, things she went through can't be forgotten, or forgiven!
Alex looked at her with nothing but love and worry written all across his face. He looked her straight into her crystal clear eyes.
Alex: "Look, Jo. I was a foster child. 17 homes, every next house with parents worse than the previous one. And my real family – Dad was a junkie, mom was sick. Not much to say there. We were on our own. And Jo, trust me when I say this. I'm not offering sympathy here. I know that means nothing. I'm just saying I know how these things can go. I know what they're like. And all the stuff you did on your own, that doesn't make me hate you. It shows me how strong you are, and it makes me… he stopped, realising that all this he said was already too much, and mostly because he was afraid that if he continues to speak, he'll say something he shouldn't. He had no idea what awoke all these sad feelings and made them come out in this silly, beautiful but disgusting way, but it didn't matter.
All that was important was too se Jo smile, which to his surprise-she did. She shook her head in understanding and a bit of surprise, but without any doubt. She didn't know why, but she trusted him. She could feel it. He was honest. All she felt was…love? Jo wasn't sure, but for the first time ever, she though "Maybe he really is the one.'"
After this heartfelt conversation, the both, in their minds agreed that it was enough of the dark talk for one night, so they dropped it. But they kept on talking. They were telling each other jokes, but in true jolex fashion, they just had to throw some dark stuff in there as well… It was amazing. Itfelt like, even though it was a silly date, they were being the people who they are more than they would've if they just sat on the couch, drank beer and watched some old fashioned horror movie or a game. Oh, and the dark stuff they'd occasionally say- they both knew that was the only way they could stand talking about their dark pasts.
Once the night ended, Alex dropped Jo off at her place, in true gentleman fashion, and with nothing, but a heartfelt kiss they exchanged on her porch with rain pouring down on their faces, in the dark with Alex being unable to see anything in the dark, but Jo's soft, oh so kissable lips and glowy, bright eyes.
That kiss, it was just what they needed to end the night perfectly.
