I'd gladly lose me to find you
I'd gladly give up all I had
To find you I'd suffer anything and be glad

I'd pay any price just to get you
I'd work all my life and I will
To win you I'd stand naked, stoned and stabbed

I'd call that a bargain
The best I ever had
The best I ever had

I'd gladly lose me to find you
I'd gladly give up all I got
To catch you I'm gonna run and never stop

I'd pay any price just to win you
Surrender my good life for bad
To find you I'm gonna drown an unsung man

- The Who

"Bargain"

Chapter 3

11:18 am

"Ron"

Somewhere between slumber and consciousness Ron felt a light push against his shoulder.

"Ron"

Thinking nothing of it, he slipped off once again towards dreamland.

"RON!"

Whassat?

The voice suddenly stopped, to Ron's delight. He was enjoying this particular round of sleep too much to be disturbed.

"LEAVE ME ALONE YOU DIRTY APES!! ONLY RON KNOWS WHERE THE BANNANAS ARE STASHED!!"

"Felix you TRATOR! I swear we're out of bananas!!!", Ron had lept off the couch instantly, prepared to plead and bargain for his hide, only to spot the form of Felix in his robotic chair, having a hearty laugh at his friend's expense.

"Ah haha...Oh man...a haaa...you...you're face, you shoulda seen your face!", Felix gasped out, barely able too contain himself.

"Yea, ha ha. What a riot.", Ron snapped back, grumbling, "Wish you had a picture, right.?"

"Actually, I do bro."

Felix pressed a small button on the left side of the chair, which produced a small camera from the top of the chair back. Pressing another button, the camera spit out a photo print of a terrified Ron Stoppable, mouth fully agape.

"Give me that!", Ron shouted, grabbing the print and tearing it in too.

"Man, you were out so long, I didn't know wither to get a bucket of cold water or call the morgue." Felix teased.

"What?! What time is it?", Ron asked franticly.

"Bout twenty after eleven, or three hours later then sane people get up."

"Well, kickin your can at Zombie Mayhem must have taken a lot out of Le Ron-Man.", Ron fired back.

"Well, Le Ron-Man, what really concerned me was this letter you taped to the tv." , Felix stated holding up a piece of yellow notebook paper, with a hastily scrawled message written on it.

"Uhhh...", Ron had forgot about the message he left for Felix after he formed his plan earlier.

"Ahem.." Felix cleared his throat as he prepared to read the letter aloud.

To my main man Felix,

By the time you read this, I will have already began my journey, onwards and upwards towards achieving my true potential. Do not bother to look for me, I left before sunrise.

Mom made cinnamon rolls, enjoy!

I'll holla at you tonight and see you at school Mon.

Sincerely,

Ron-san

"Well, Ron-san, what do you have to say? I'm all ears.", Felix asked, struggling to contain his laughter.

"...Any cinnamon rolls left?"


"I'm already over six hours behind, Rufus." Ron spoke to his smallest friend who was currently sitting on Ron's bed, watching him hurriedly dress in a t-shirt and a pair of warm up pants.

Felix had left earlier, wishing Ron good luck with his latest crazy scheme. After lunch, Ron hurried upstairs to change.

"Every minute counts, little buddy."

He threw a hoodie over his head and grabbed Rufus.

"Time to get jacked!"


Ron stared nervously at the building before him.

"Middleton Athletic Center. This is it Rufus, the first step to Stepuppable!"

Ron entered the double doors of the gym, rubbing his hands together in anticipation as he saw the rows and rows of machines and free weights before him. Many of Middleton's more athletically built citizens had populated the machines and cardio equipment. He recognized a few members of the Middleton Football team doing bench presses at the other end of the floor.

Heh, heh. Those guys are gonna look like pansies in comparison to Ron Stoppable, once I'm through!

Ron was deep in his mental gloating session when a large, deep voice interrupted his thoughts.

"Can I help you?"

Ron turned to his right to find himself in front of a large wooden desk, posters of various musclebound men and women adorned the walls behind. Standing behind the desk, however, was the most odd sight Ron had seen since entering the athletic center. A short man, no taller than 5'4 was leaning forward glaring at him, the vertically-challenged forearms flexed as he gripped the sides of the desk.

Ron was quite surprised at the sight of the man before him. He looked down to see the nameplate on the desk, which read "Bill Kilgore, Owner".

Huh, not the kind of guy I'd picture running a gym, more like running a cookie factory in a tree or something.

"Excuse me kid, but are you here for a reason, or what? By the looks of those toothpicks you call arms, there's no way you're here to lift!", the small man practically screamed.

Ron was caught off guard by the deep, gruffy snarl of the man, even more so by the size of his biceps and forearms as he leaned forward, teeth bared, eyeballs wide, awaiting Ron's response.

"Ummmm, yessir. Yea workout...that is to say. I wanna join."

"You want to join this gym?", the man asked, almost dumbfounded.

"Um, yessir.", Ron responded weakly.

"I don't think you realize the level of responsibility and dedication it takes to become a peek-performance ATHELETE! Especially a coat rack of a kid like you! And that's what we produce here, PEEK-PERFORMANCE ATHLETES!", the man snarled.

"I..I...I realize that sir, and trust me, I know it'll be no small...feat..."

Ron bit his tongue as he realized what he had just accidentally implied.

"What DID YOU JUST SAY?" , the man practically roared.

"Jusst...jussst that you...you're right sir. In the athletics department, I've kinda fallen short..."

Ron bit down on his clinched fist and cleared his throat realizing his second slip of the tongue.

"What I meant to say was...I realize sir, that I'm not a prime cut of beefcake, but I'm willing to dedicate and persevere to become a...PEEK-PERFORMACE ATHELETE!", Ron spoke boisterously, raising his index finger into the air.

The man squinted his eyes, studying Ron, and after stroking his chin several times, pounded the desktop with his right hand.

"My boy, you are an inspiration!", the man's expression suddenly softened and his eyes lit up.

"Huh?", Ron let out, dumbstruck.

"The fact that that you, a kid who isn't built enough to be a paperweight, has finally decided to step up and make something of yourself! That fact that you've finally decided to join the real world and get some major size on you!"

Ron shrugged. His physical person was never really important that important to him, it had always taken a back seat to missions with Kim, video games, and of course Bueno Nacho. His parents, teachers, and Kim had always reinforced healthy habits to Ron, and deep down, he knew they were probably right, but to be as enamored with your body as the small man appeared to be? Ron wasn't sure he could get used to the concept. It seemed...so selfish. He looked back towards the football players, finishing up their last set of bicep curls and admiring themselves in the full-length mirrors on the walls.

But if this is what it takes...

Ron reached out hand gave the man a hearty handshake.

"Thank you sir! I am ready to...be all that I can be.", Ron said, a little hesitantly.

"Excellent my boy, excellent! Name's Bill Kilgore! You have a great attitude, even if you couldn't lay two pencils on your arms! But soon enough, you'll be a REAL man!" , Bill said, almost manically, "Now, let's get you hooked up with a trainer. EDGAR!!!!"

A door swung open and out walked perhaps the largest man he'd ever seen.

Good thing Drakken doesn't hire guys like this!

"Yea Mr. Kilgore?" the large man asked with a surprisingly small and squeaky voice.

"Meet...umm..", Bill pointed to Ron.

"Huh? Oh, Ron sir, Ron Stoppable."

The large man engulfed Ron's hand in a near death grip and pumped it up and down a few times in a bone-crushing handshake.

"Yeow.", Ron grimaced quietly and clutched his hand in pain.

"Right, Shawn Spottable." , the short man proclaimed proudly.

"Actually, it's Ro..."

"Edgar, show Mr. Spottable the ropes, we're putting him on the "Destroy and Remake" program.", the small man said proudly.

"Uhrm...dest...destroy? That's never good...", Ron spoke, slightly terrified.

"Nonsense my boy! You're going to be a regular physical specimen once we're done with you! You can do it my boy!"

"Uh...ha ha, yea. No big!"

The short man's expression suddenly shifted back into an angry scowl.

"Oops...hey Edgar, wait up!", Ron shouted, backing away quickly to catch up to his new trainer.
Ron struggled to the gym doors nearly doubled over in pain and exhaustion. He had exerted more physicality in his first month at Middleton Athletic Center than he had his entire life, four times over most likely. Edgar and Mr. Kilgore had put Ron on a plan so insanely over the top, it would likely make even the most well built Middleton High running backs cower in fear.

The training however, was a cakewalk compared the diet.

HE'S MAD!!!! DRAKKEN'S GHANDI COMPAIRED TO THIS GUY!!

Ron nearly lost consciousness when he had presented Mr. Kilgore with a list of his current eating habits, which he at once began to cross through with a red magic marker.

"Never.", Mr. Kilgore said coldly.

"N..never? Not even once in a blue moon?" , Ron pleaded.

"Absolutely never!"

"B..bu"

"No excuses! You are through with Bueno Nacho FOR GOOD!", Mr. Kilgore shouted back.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!", Ron screamed on his hands and knees, desperately clutching Mr. Kilgore's ankle.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" , Rufus squeaked loudly, laying flat on his stomach, clutching the other ankle.

"Shawn, training is only 40 of the program. The other 60 is a proper diet! Without the diet, the program is meaningless! I was right, you're not serious about this. If you can't follow through, you might as well leave now. Is that what you want?", Mr. Kilgore berated.

Ron's mind immediately began to race.

I knew I would have to make sacrifices, but this? Bueno Naco is my temple...my center of zen! But...for KP...it's worth it.

"No sir, I...will follow the diet."

"What's that Spottable?"

"I will follow the diet to the letter, sir!"

"Good, good. Now we move into the second phase of the program. I'm going to increase your servings of.."

"No!!! Not increasing the shakes!! Please! Not more shakes!", Ron pleaded.

"Yes! Four times a day, 3 scoops!"

If there was one thing Ron hated about the program, it was the shakes. He was forced to consume a mixture of several kinds of chalky, bland powders, mixed in water. The taste was disgusting to Ron, and he often had nightmares about being buried in supplement powders.

A few minutes later, Ron painfully emerged from the gym, cradling an impossible amount of supplement canisters.


"Ok little buddy, we are hereby moving to stage 2. You remember the plan right?"

"Uh huh."

"Let's do it."

Ron took a deep breath and steadily marched around the corner.

"What up KP?", Ron cheerfully asked, greeting his red headed best friend and object of his affections.

"Hey Ron! Nothin' much getting ready to go to last period, got to meet up with Josh and work on yearbook photos.", Kim chattered.

Ron was finding it difficult to concentrate on his current objective, finding himself awash in Kim's presence. Her heavenly scent penetrating his psyche. The injection of Josh Mankey into the conversation, however was enough to snap him back to reality.

"Hey, uh, KP...you wanna meet up after school?"

Kim's eyes shined brightly as her smile widened at Ron's suggestion.

"Sure Ron! BN?"

Ron's heart sank at the mention of his now former hangout.

"Umm, sorry KP, no can do. Dad's making me clean my room right after school, else he's gonna hold a gun to my head."

Kim laughed gingerly at Ron's exaggeration.

"Somehow I doubt your dad's really go off the deep end, but if you've gotta skip Bueno Nacho, it must be pretty serious."

"Yea, you'd be surprised. All that actuary work, he probably keeps a lot of rage bottled up inside, ya know." , Ron smiled rubbing the back of his head.

Kim laughed again at Ron's casual humor.

"Well what did you have in mind?" , Kim asked.

She was looking into Ron's eyes with her own, expressive green eyes, which made Ron's knees and stomach quiver. Kim's mouth was slowly forming into a smile as she continued to stare into Ron's face. Finally, after jumping to attention, due to Rufus' incisors sinking into the flesh of his shoulder, Ron snapped back into reality.

"Well, umm could I walk you home?", Ron asked nervously.

"Well, sure Ron! Not like we don't walk home everyday, you goof. " Kim answered in a sweetly sarcastic manner, her smile growing wider.

"Aww, well ya know...", Ron began to respond, his calm demeanor suddenly collapsing.

RRRRIIINGGG!!!!

The bell sounded, signaling the transition to the last class of the day.

"Better get a move on. See you after class!", Kim shouted back to Ron as she jogged off to class.

Whew.


Kim was chatting endlessly as Ron accompanied her home, gripping the straps of his backpack as he walked close by her side. As they approached the Possible home, Ron steaded himself and prepared to carry out his objective.

"Hey KP, did Jim and Tim blow a crater in the yard again?", Ron asked suddenly.

"What? TWEEBS!" , Kim grimaced as she looked towards the direction Ron had pointed.

As Kim looked away, Ron signaled Rufus with a quiet snap of his fingers. The mole rat descended out of Ron's backpack and gave a quick salute as he scampered off towards the house. Gripping the gutter pipe, he skittered up towards the roof of the home and entered in through a small opening.

"Hmmmm, guess not. Must have been the light reflecting of Venus or something.", Ron corrected himself nervously.

"Ron, are you ok?" , Kim asked, looking into Ron's eyes.

"Uh, yea sure KP! You know me."

"You seem to be a little worn out during our missions lately, I was just worried that..."

"Oh...naw, just Barkin's extra homework draining me, but its all good."

Kim chuckled and placed her land lightly, tentatively, on Ron's forearm.

"It must not be taking too much out of you...I just wanted to say...how impressive you've been on missions lately, Ron."

Ron felt a deep lump forming in the back of his throat as Kim looked up to him with her eyelashes slightly lowered.

"Oh...well no big. Just the "Ron Factor" kicking into higher gear lately I guess..."

"He, he, maybe. What ever it is, you've been really...spankin."

Ron was rendered speechless. As impossible as it would seem to Ron, he had never seen Kim look more beautiful as she had in that moment. The slowly setting sun cast a warm glow around her face, as the light September breeze gave her luscious auburn mane sudden life. Ron was struggling to keep the torrent of emotions bottled in, as each passing moment threatened to cause his defenses to burst like a geyser. Right as he felt like he couldn't hang on any longer, he heard a quick chatter coming from the corner of the house. He looked towards the noise, spotting Rufus giving him a big thumbs up. Ron once again collected himself.

"Well, KP, guess uhh... you'd better get studying."

"Oh?", Kim looked up at Ron with a slightly disappointed look in her eye.

"Yea, ummmm. Wouldn't want you to blow Barkin's test or anything...Oh yea! Just remembered, Barkin gave me another extra homework assignment tonight, darn it." , Ron rambled, nervously scratching his leg.

"Oh...yea ok! Well, see you tomorrow Ron."

"You bet KP."

They continued to look at one another for a few short moments before Kim turned to head into the house. Ron watched as she made her way towards the front door, and once she reached the porch and was entering in, Ron quickly shuffled away, gathering Rufus and the bundle he had collected from Kim's room. After inserting both into his backpack, Ron trotted up the driveway, making his way back to his own home in anticipation of dinner.


Ron approached the tall, wooden door and hurriedly knocked.

"May I help you?", a voice sounded on an intercom to the right of the door.

"Ron Stoppable, here to meet Mr. LeBonn."

"Come in."

The door swung wide, reveling a choice, modern decor within. Ron stepped into the hallway and was at once greeted by a very prim and proper man in a swanky grey suit.

"Mr. Probable! Tommy LeBonn, nice to see you again."

"Actually, it's Stop..."

"Please Mr. Probable, I have quite a busy schedule, world's most in-demand fashion designer and all you know." , the man stated with a thick accent.

"Well ok, Mr. LeBonn. I was hoping to cash in that favor you said you owed us from when we saved your fashion show from being turned into a truck pull by Motor Ed.", Ron returned.

"Oh yes, how ghastly that incident was. I almost never got those tire tracks out of my blue velvet sport coat.", Mr. LeBonn shuddered.

"Anyways, I was hoping you could give me some advice."

Ron opened the large pack he was caring, first emptying out an assortment of clothes he had collected from his attic. Then placing a collection of "Teen Dream" magazines, which Rufus had collected from Kim's room the previous month.

"I got these clothes out of my attic, some of them belonged to my Dad, took forever to get the moth ball smell out. Anyway, looking at these magazines, none of these clothes really seem to look anything like the ones in here. Can you help me out here? Ya know maybe, match these outfits out a little?", Ron asked.

Tommy LeBonn took one look at the clothes which Ron had produced, and nearly fainted.

"Yes young man, I can help you with these. Help you carry them to the burn pile that is! Heaven help us, how could such...abominations against fashion still exist?"

"Well, my Dad seemed pretty excited about me bringing them out of storage."

Mr. LeBonn slapped his forehead, then placed his hand on Ron's shoulder.

"My good boy, it will be alright. I, TOMMY LEBONN, will free you from generations of fashion negligence!"

"Aw sweet! Can you make me look like the guys in these magazines?"

Mr. LeBonn quickly smacked the magazines out of Ron's hands.

"My boy, you will exceed the uncivilized nincompoops in those magazines. Now, remove that trash bag you are currently wearing"

Ron shrugged, then removed his trademark red jersey. Mr. LeBonn produced a long length of measuring tape from his suit pocket.

"Wow, you've really filled out since last we met. Finally seeing the inside of a good gym I take it?"

"Don't ask.", Ron said coldly.

"Good news my friend. By the time I'm done, you will no longer resemble the shrub of a man you do now. You will be...a Tommy LeBonn original!"

Ron shuddered.

No longer look...like me?


Ron emerged from the LeBonn compound sometime later, accompanied by several sharply dressed personnel, each carrying large bundles of clothing wish had been supplied by Tommy himself. He stroked his head several times. The new haircut might take some getting used to, and the facial was just odd.

After being helped into a limo and then transported to the airport, Ron boarded a private LeBonn Inc. aircraft, destination, Middleton, Colorado.

Ron thought back to the contract he signed in exchange for the five star treatment. He had to wear only Tommy LeBonn fashions, would be supplied to Ron free of charge. Ron had to maintain his current body image and participate in Tommy LeBonn photo shoots, which would be featured in the catalogs.

Jeez, I used to wonder how these guys could be so shallow, now I'm one of them...But if this is what KP wants...it's what she gets.


Ron stood in front of the full length mirror, studying his appearance. His nearly non-stop, utterly exhausting three month quest culminated before him. He smoothed his hands over the crisp, perfectly toned designer jeans.

Little tighter than I'm used to, but comfortable.

He straightened the thin, gray, long sleeve knit shirt with a tight, white muscle tee underneath.

Guess the days of the jersey are over.

He placed a black, zip-up sweater with a thick, flipped up collar, over top and zipped it up, stopping at the bottom of his chest.

He checked his new hairstyle out one last time. The formally carefree mop was clipped, slightly less than one inch form the scalp all over, the sideburns stopping cleanly, short of the earlobe . He ran a coat of "hair texturizer creme" over top, and styled it, the front sticking up, the middle portion of the cut meeting slightly at the middle.

Like that soccer guy, Brekridge or something, I think.

His task now complete, Ron took one long, last look into the mirror. Finally, he slid on the heavy, dark, wool coat and headed out to the sport new car, on loan from Tommy LeBonn Inc. Putting the key into the engine, Ron headed out, destination, Middleton High.

Well...make way Middleton. Here comes the new Ron Stoppable!

------------------------------------------------------------End Chap 3.-------------------------------------------------------------------------

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