Chapter 2: Coming Clean

Eli's POV

I can't believe Clare dumped me like that. She should have been apologizing to me, but she instead tells me to fuck off. I have to go to her house and grab all of my stuff. I leave her purity ring on the desk because she didn't give herself to me. I should have thrown it at Drew's head. I also should have gotten my promise ring back. I grab my stuff and go. I'm on my way back home, when I see my parents at a cafe. They waive at me, so I park on the street and go to talk to them.

"Why aren't you inside of Clare?" My dad teases.

"We're done."

"What? Why? You were so excited to see her again." I look up and I see Helen and Glen perfect.

"Well, I was until I found out that Clare Edwards, the girl who I thought I'd be with forever, gave her virginity to Drew Torres. They're on student council together. I'm sure they're doing it all of the time."

"I'm so sorry," Mom says. "But you know how long distance goes. Didn't you screw up with Lenore. Maybe you should give her another chance."

Damnit Mom! You're not supposed to try and make it better. I'm just trying to make trouble for Clare before I go home.

"She doesn't want me anymore Mom."

"Oh, well that's too bad. You'll move on, Honey."

"I can see the look of anguish on Helen's face." Hahaha!

Clare's POV

I'm just getting ready to go home and I see Zoe.

"So you fucked Drew."

"It was a long time ago. You didn't even go here then." No reason to tell her about this afternoon.

"Well, let's just keep it in the past, shall we?"

She thinks she's getting Drew. He doesn't even like her. And he had a fiancee, not that she cared when she blackmailed him into going ot that dance with her, or that she even knows that they broke up.

"That's where it should be," I say, not giving anything away when I walk out the door. I drive home and my mom's car isn't there. Did she and Glen go out again?

I get through the door. My mom is there, looking solemn. "Hey. Where's Glen?"

"I asked him to give us some time alone. He went for a drive."

"What's wrong? Is it Dad?"

"No, Honey. I wanted to talk to you about something I overheard today."

Oh SHIT! I'm dead. "What did you hear?"

"I was at a cafe and Eli was there with his parents, and he said, loudly I might add, that you and Drew had sex, that you gave your virginity to him."

I sigh. "I did, six months ago. Eli dumped me and I was upset. Bianca dumped Drew and he was upset. I went to his house looking for Adam, but Drew was there alone. We started talking about our relationships, and how we keep getting into these broken cycles and…."

"Did you just say 'broken cycles'?"

"Yeah. I read your Dr. Kurtz book, and I thought if I did something uncharacteristic of me, then I could break whatever spell Eli seemed to have on me, and the least "me" thing I could think of was a random hookup. I didn't intend for it to go as far as it did, not at first, but I felt safe in Drew's arms. I always felt like I was on the edge of disaster with Eli. It made things thrilling at first, but heartbreaking over time. With Drew, I knew nothing would change between us. We'd just go back to being friends. I wouldn't get any crazy antics or public spectacles. I guess it's ironic in a way."

"How?"

"I thought Drew would be breaking the cycle, but it all fed right back into the machine. Eli read my diary, found out about me and Drew and made a scene, publicly humiliating me in front of the whole school, not unlike his public antics when I was with Jake. He always said he loved me, but he wanted me to be to be his possession. When he found out, I wouldn't be a notch on his belt, he flipped, and we were over." I don't even know what to do now?

"So Eli announced this to everyone?"

"Yeah, and knowing him, I bet he saw you behind his parents. He just wanted to put one more dagger in the coffin."

Mom grunted. "I can't say I'm thrilled with this, but I understand why you did it?"

"You do?"

"When I first got with Glen, I was looking for an escape from my divorce. I just wanted something casual."

"You, casual?"

"I know, right, but I couldn't do casual. I fell for him, hard and fast, and I got out of the cycle without having to resort to a random hookup. You can too, and if you find a guy who's worth it, he'll wait for you to be ready. Glen did."

"So where does this leave us?" I ask Mom. How grounded am I?

"I think you'll get enough punishment at school from your peers."

"Tell me about it. Alli flipped on me and slapped Drew in the face."

"Well, don't get into any fights, Honey, and stay away from my psychotherapy books. I don't need you running experiments on your life."

"Yes Mom!"

When I got upstairs, I opened my computer. I saw my email was open. Eli probably read that too! I change my password and change the password on my phone. Well, he can't do anything else now. I look on facerange. I change my status to single, although Eli already has. I also change this password. I don't even want to know what Eli wrote about our breakup, so I block him.

I don't really want to explain to anyone else why I had sex with Drew. It was bad enough having to explain it to my Mom. I would write it to my diary, but I think I need a break from it right now.

I decide to write a letter to Darcy.

"Dear Darcy,

I need to get something off of my chest, and normally, I would vent to my diary, but when you read my letter, you'll understand why I didn't this time. About six months ago, when Eli picked drugs over me, I read mom's psychotherapy book on human relationships and sexuality. It had some interesting ideas as to why people keep trying it over and over again to make relationships work when to the rest of the world, it's clearly a lost cause. He suggested breaking the cycle by doing something out of the ordinary until you understand that you have options other than your impulses and you can hopefully keep that in mind when you make decisions in the future.

Anyway, I went to go talk to Adam one night and he wasn't there. His older brother Drew was there. We started talking. His fiancee had dumped him and we started talking about breaking the cycle. We decided to try this with each other, have a hook up and just walk away. We started with making out, but we ended up doing a lot more. I gave him my virginity that night. He didn't pressure me or anything. I wanted to and I told him I wanted to.

Afterwards, he got back with his fiancee afterwards and I reconciled with Eli. I didn't tell Eli about Drew because it wasn't his business and I thought we were starting over clean because that's what he asked ofr. He certainly didn't admit to me any hookups, even though I later heard that he got with this drug dealer from Bardell, Talia. We got back together and we had sex for the first time, all on prom night. Then, I got diagnosed with cancer, couldn't go to Paris, he came to be with me, leaving New York for the summer, and Adam died as did one of my friends from the cancer ward, Paula. I was devastated, but Eli promised to be there for me.

When mom and Glen went to visit Jake, Eli was to come over for sexy time, but he was three hours late. I was tired and went to bed and we said we'd postpone until the morning. In the morning, I woke him up with a kiss, but he didn't want to make love, to my surprise. He siad he was sick, so I went to school to serve the Thanksgiving dinner to the needy since I'm the VP.

As it turns out, Eli wasn't sick. He read my diary (again) while I was sleeping and he found out about me and Drew. Instead of admitting his mistake and apologizing for violating my privacy, he confronts me and Drew at the dinner, publicly humiliating me. We got into a fight and broke up. Drew's fiancee came to the dinner to break up with him, since she was moving to Peru.

Drew came to find me and Eli got all hostile. I broke up with Eli, and Drew and I went to talk about our breakups. We ended up kissing again and just like our last kiss, it led to sex, but this time, it didn't hurt. It was fiery and passionate and very satisfying. We decided before we did it this time, not to worry about a label and we'd figure that out later. We got dressed and went home and I thought all was fine until mom is there and I find out Eli told her about me and Drew.

I had to explain what happened and why we did it, which was painful for both of us, but I think she understands even though she was clearly disappointed with me. I can't belive Eli was so spiteful as to jeopardize my relationship with mom because I didn't want him anymore. Well, it's over and I never want to see him again. Also, my best friend, Alli is mad at me even though I didn't cheat on Eli. Apparently, my virginity wasn't just my business. It was my then-ex-boyfriend's business and her business even though we were feuding at the tim. I'm not his property. It was mine to give, and I gave it to someone I knew wouldn't flip out on me if he didn't get his way afterwards. I needed that.

Anyway, I don't know what you will think of all of this, but I had to tell someone my side. No one at school, other than Drew understands and I can't let him be the person I vent to. That would be too boyfriend like, and he is not my boyfriend. I love you Darcy and I hope Kenya is treating you well.

Clare

Do I even send this? I'll put it in a drawer for now.