Disclaimer: I do not own nor do I claim to own anything in the Harry Potter universe.
A/N: Here's the third chapter. Let me know what you think, it is a bit longer.
Setting: Modern AU with some fantasy thrown in. No "magic" in the witch/wizard/Harry-Potter-sense. Focuses heavily on mythology of all origins.
Summary: Remus Lupin had been homeschooled his whole life after a tragic accident left him scarred and dangerous. Now, however, he's enrolled into the boarding school, Hogwarts, where adventure and love awaits. Wolfstar. Eventual slash.
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Morning came fast and hard. Their dorm slowly came to life, much like zombies stumbling over each other. All four of them nursed hang overs and so they kept their speech to a minimum as they shepherded each other down to breakfast.
Remus thought his head might explode as they entered the great hall. Other students were laughing and discussing their first classes, immune to the aftereffects that plagued the fifth year Gryffindors.
The werewolf flopped onto the bench and covered his head with his arms, hissing uncomfortably. "Honestly. I thought you all could handle your alcohol better than this," fussed Lily Evans, her hair pulled back into a French plait and her makeup set flawlessly. No one responded to her besides Sirius, who threw a middle finger up in her direction. She huffed, "Honestly. You better get over it. We have chemistry with Slytherin this morning and Professor Slughorn can be terribly strict."
"You really want to marry that?" Sirius groaned to James.
"Yup," he replied without hesitation.
"Fucking insane is what you are," grumbled Peter.
"Ack. You three need to grow the hell up. I hope Remus knocks some sense into your brains."
"Please, Lily… Too much talking. No more noise," whined the werewolf, attempting to decide if his stomach would allow him the courtesy of breakfast.
Lily threw her hands into the air. "You all are hopeless. I'll see you in the dungeons." She stormed out of the hall, grimacing just barely. Remus was fairly sure he was the only one who saw her small misstep and wince of pain. Even Miss Evans wasn't completely immune.
His phone chirped loudly in his pocket. "Lupin turn that thing off or I'll break it," James threatened. Remus ignored him.
Mum3: Enjoy your first day Remy! Knock 'em dead!
Parental Unit: She is joking. Please don't kill anyone.
Mum3: LYALL
Remus: Thanks. I'll do my best to keep my need for blood in check.
Sirius laughed as he read over Remus' shoulder. "Your family is a riot, Scars." With a small frown the werewolf pocketed the phone before his friend had any chance to continue to read. Sirius lifted his hands in a sign of submission. "Whoa, easy there. I didn't mean to cross any lines."
Remus exhaled heavily and shook his head. "No, you're fine. I'm just… on edge."
"Why?" James chimed in, nursing a black cup of coffee.
"Just…Not used to all of this," Lupin waved around the great hall. "I'm not sure what to do."
"Just go with it," Peter offered, mouth full of egg. Remus visibly blanched, averting his gaze from the blonde. He decided that he wouldn't be able to handle anything on his stomach and pushed back against the table, looking up at the great ceiling. For the first time, he noticed that it was made up of electronic panels. A bright, summer sun igniting the room, solar flares streaking across the azure sky.
"They're supposed to mimic the weather outside," Sirius explained, watching Lupin's green eyes gazing in fascination. "Dumbledore had them installed about three years before we started here."
"Amazing," Remus murmured, voice barely carrying to the other boy.
Silver eyes sparkled mischievously as Sirius bent his head over Remus' looking at him upside down. Tendrils of onyx waves brushed against his scarred face. Lupin could smell the crisp scent of spearmint and jasmine tea whisper against his flesh. A weightlessness threatened to carry him away. Until he felt the burning sting of ice sliding down his chest.
Remus let out a feral yelp, flailing long limbs, knocking Sirius away who fell to the floor cackling like a maniac. "Fucking hell, Sirius!" Remus snarled, jumping up and shaking the ice free from his shirt. "You're a fucking idiot!"
Sirius continued to laugh, joined by James. Peter and the rest of their table watched on questioningly. "Sorry, mate. It looked like you were about to fall in love with the ceiling. I was just trying to save you from heartbreak." He wiped his eyes, crystal tears sliding down his cheeks from amusement.
Despite the werewolf's annoyance, he couldn't help but to smile. "You're infuriating, Black," he said lightheartedly. "I'm not helping you with calculus now."
Sirius' face fell. "What? Are you serious?"
Remus smirked. "No, you're Sirius, I'm Remus." A collective groan erupted from everyone close enough to hear.
"I wish I had some pence every time I'd heard that joke," Peter grumbled. "I'd be as rich as Sirius."
Remus lifted his shoulders in a nonchalant manner. "Yeah well I have a few years of jokes on his expense to catch up on." Sirius scowled. "But, anyway. We should be getting to Chemistry. I don't want to be late my first day."
Wormtail finished shoveling the last of his breakfast down and chugging a glass of orange juice before jumping up and jogging to catch up with the trio, almost out of the dining hall. "Wait up!"
The journey to the dungeons was cold, the further down into the castle they ventured the lower the temperature dropped. The air tasted like stale dust and mildew. Humidity somehow rose as they descended and Remus assumed the dungeons must have somehow been built into or against the lake.
Wet, cold air saturated their clothes. "This is awful," Remus grumbled. With his heightened senses the smell was nearly toxic and he took small, gasping breaths. Sound also echoed painfully off the stone walls.
James looked over at the werewolf with concern. "You gonna be okay there, Rem? You look kinda green around the gills."
"Y-yeah," he stammered, rubbing his forehead. "Just wasn't prepared," he gestured around himself as a way of describing the entity that was the dungeons of Hogwarts.
"You'll get used to it," James said, leading their group into a side room that was buzzing with activity. Their classroom was large, with heavy stone-and-metal tables equipped with Bunsen burners. Their professor was a portly stout man that reminded Remus a bit of Wormtail if several generations off. He was standing at the front of the class room, scrawling in loopy print his name against the smart-board at the head. Professor Horace Slughorn.
"Two to a table, please!" their teacher quipped without turning around. "They will be your science partners the rest of the year! Choose wisely or I'll choose for you."
"Wormtail is dreadful at chemistry, so I'll sit with him to make sure he actually passes," James said.
"And I'll make sure you get through history," Peter grumbled.
"Scars, will you do me the honor of being my partner?" Sirius bowed obnoxiously low, his hair falling in front of his face.
Remus laughed. "The honor is mine, dear Padfoot."
The other boy straightened back up, pushing his hair out of his eyes, smirking mischievously at the werewolf. Their group settled into the back-most-left tables, Peter and James in the front table, Remus and Sirius in the back, sitting as inconspicuously as four snickering teenagers could. "Evans! You traitor!" crowed James, aghast. He slammed his fists on the counter for dramatic effect.
"Potter will you shut up," the redhead snapped back. "Severus is ten times the man you are." She defensively grabbed Snape's arm and flipped her hair over her shoulder with a huff. Severus turned visibly red at the contact, focusing on the table as if it could hide his blush.
"Ten times as greasy, maybe," Sirius teased back, earning him a genuine frown from Remus.
"Maybe you guys should be nicer," he chastised. "Especially you Prongs," with his long legs he kicked the back of James' chair. "Evans will never look at you twice if you keep being such a git."
"Mo Anam Cara," James said with a shrug. "She'll come around."
Before Remus had a chance to ask what he had just said, Professor Slughorn cleared his throat loudly and rounded on the class. "Welcome, welcome! Many of you have been in my classes before but those who have not," he looked at the werewolf, "my name is Horace Slughorn. Now if you'll please put on your goggles," he demonstrated, "and listen up."
Chemistry was an hour-long lecture which preceded a three-hour lab. Sirius and James were both incredibly gifted at science and they easily answered questions when called on, even though they appeared not to pay any attention. Slughorn spent the first hour going over personal protective equipment and how important it was to follow the rules. "Respect science!" he had a habit of saying frequently.
Their three-hour lab was simple enough, having to put together the Periodic Table of Elements by figuring out the patterns. Severus and Lily were easily the first pair done and Slughorn made a big deal exclaiming how ingenious they were before dismissing the two to enjoy the rest of the lab free.
Sirius and James finished next and worked on helping Peter complete his. The minutes ticked by with the trio getting increasingly frustrated. "No Wormy! Why the hell do you think Iron goes there?"
"Fucks sake Helium is a noble gas."
"Maybe if you two were better at explaining things I'd understand it!"
Remus watched the tempers of his friends rise with amusement, resting his chin in his palm and elbow on the desk.
"I don't understand why you put that there!"
"How can you not get it?! It's a bloody pattern."
Their octaves continued to rise. Lupin caught their professor beginning to stand from his desk wearing a frown. He smelled of annoyance and quickly Remus jumped over his desk before they all ended up in detention. "Fucks sake, move Pads, Prongs," he snapped, pushing the other boys away. He pulled a chair close to Peter so that they could put their heads together and began whispering and pointing at the table.
"The hell, Remus? This is brilliant! You're brilliant! I get it! You should be a professor." Peter was beaming as he handed his table to Slughorn.
Lupin shrugged sheepishly. "It's not that hard. Just how my mum explained it to me."
"Well she's a genius then. Is she a teacher?"
Remus paled and shook his head, melancholy. "No. She worked as a travel agent for an insurance company when my parents met. She was going back to school to be a nurse when I had my…accident. She wanted to be a teaching nurse, to show people how to help people in the ICU." He took a shaky breath. "Then when this happened," gestured to his scars, "she didn't have the time anymore." Guilt ate at his intestines and not for the first time, Remus wondered if it would have been better if he'd been killed that night.
James and Peter had continued on walking as Remus slowed as he spoke, the two boasting about how with Lupin they'd be unstoppable. Sirius had lagged behind listening intently. "Hey…" he whispered painfully as he placed a comforting hand on Remus' arm. "Whatever happened, was not your fault. And your mum clearly loves you more than life itself, which is more than I can say about my mother. She wouldn't want you beating yourself up."
Remus forced a smile. "Thanks," he mumbled wetly, tears brimming around his emerald irises. He fiercely wiped at his face and turned stoic. "I'm not much feeling up to hanging out, I think I'll go to the library. Meet you at Calculus with Flitwick?"
"You don't want any company?"
"No, thanks though." Remus turned and began his trek to the library as Sirius watched him retreat. Once the boy was far enough away, Sirius began to follow. At the library. Lupin found a secluded corner cushion to hide and slumped into it, holding his head.
Sirius spotted him almost immediately but kept his distance, slinking into a nearby aisle. He slid down against the bookshelf and rested his head against the old, dusty tomes that reminded him of Remus.
The werewolf smelled Sirius Black and a conflicted emotion twisted in his gut. Sirius was a scent that Remus was growing unnaturally fond of and he wasn't sure if it was because he was crushing on the boy at a level he didn't even think was possible or if it was because the full moon was approaching and the wolf wanted to devour anything that made Remus happy. Sirius was faint spearmint and the crisp, windswept scent of grass. He was gasoline and motor oil, stardust and earth. So, Remus was honored, touched, and a bit elated when he knew Sirius had slipped into the library behind him. But he was also angry, annoyed that he didn't listen to his pleas to be alone. What would Sirius do during the full moon when Remus begged him to stay away? Would he spy on Professor Dumbledore and Nurse Pomfrey leading him to the secret path that lead to the abandoned, quarantined house? Would he try to follow?
Remus felt nauseous. The wolf inside him would kill Sirius Black. He had no doubt. And even if he didn't attack him, once Padfoot knew that he was a monster, he'd lose the only friends he'd ever made.
Tears leaked unwanted from his eyes and he choked back a sob. Please don't, he implored silently unsure whether he was asking the wolf to leave Sirius alone or asking Sirius to stay away. Both had the same desired outcome anyway. His phone vibrated.
1 New Message from Sirius
Sirius: Are you okay, dear wolf?
Remus' heart fluttered at the affection. He bit down on his tongue, strong enough to make it bleed and relish in the metallic taste.
Sirius: I know you're not but…
Sirius: I wish you were.
Sirius: You can talk to me, Remus.
Remus: Everyone has secrets.
Sirius: We don't need to have secrets between us.
At the table, Remus rolled his eyes. "Right," he muttered quiet enough that no one could hear him.
Remus: You first.
Sirius: Okay. I'm gay.
Remus physically dropped his phone, effectively cracking his screen as he read those words. The clatter made Sirius start from his sanctuary against the books. "Fuck!" he heard Remus cuss. "Okay. It still works. Fuck."
Remus: Does anyone know?
Sirius: Not officially. I think Evans had a suspicion. Everyone will know eventually.
Remus: Why did you tell me?
Sirius: Should I not have?
Remus: I don't know. It's a lot to process.
He heard Sirius' heart rate leap and he could feel the anxiety emanating from his bookshelf hiding place.
Remus: I mean. It's not a bad thing.
The nervousness lessened.
Remus: I don't know what to say. I'm proud of you? It was brave to admit? Should I bake you a coming-out-of-the-closet cake?
Sirius: Arg. Shut up Scars.
Sirius: Will this change anything between us?
Remus: No Pads. I'm not a homophobe.
He almost typed out that he too was gay but decided that he'd had enough drama for one day.
Remus: You're still my best friend.
Sirius: Aw wolfie
Remus: Will you come out from the bookshelf now?
Sirius: Wtf how'd you know
"Come here, Pads. I know the floor isn't comfortable," he called out and a sheepish figure emerged. He ran his long, pale fingers through his black mane of hair and offered Remus a crooked smirk.
"How'd you know I was there?"
"You aren't exactly a master spy," which wasn't a complete lie but also wasn't a complete truth. It was an artful dodge of the question that seemed to satisfy Sirius and he plopped into the cushion across from Remus, kicking his combat booted feet up onto the other boy's legs. Remus rolled his eyes but didn't make him move. "I dropped my phone." He held out the piece of tech for Sirius to examine.
"I'll order a new screen tonight. It'll be an easy fix. Aw! Look at your background!"
Remus turned scarlet and tried to swipe his phone back, but Sirius held him down firmly with his legs. The werewolf knew he could break the hold easily but a part of him enjoyed the pressure of Sirius' rugby toned calves pinning him.
His background was a picture from the amusement park, on the last night before term started. The four were waiting in line for a GeForce intense coaster, joking and laughing. Elated on friendship and pack Remus had pulled them into a hug and threw his phone in front of them with his long arms. James was on the far left, smiling his famous Potter smile as his hair stuck out in every direction. Sirius was next to him, one arm thrown around James' shoulders and the other Remus'. His tongue was poking out of his mouth and his gray eyes sparkled with mischief. Remus had snapped the picture in the middle of a laugh and his scarred face was more relaxed that it ever was. His tawny hair melted into his eyes, which were squeezed shut in joy. Peter was beside Remus, two fingers in his mouth, pulling it wide and crossing his eyes in the goofiest way he could manage.
"I love this picture," Sirius admitted and showed Remus his phone's lock screen. It was the same photo. "Stole it from your phone through its Bluetooth—I really need to teach you internet security—and made it my background. Great minds think alike."
Remus' blush relaxed into a smile and he stuck his tongue out at Sirius. "You are a complete sap."
"Absolutely not. I'm most definitely punk rock."
"Keep telling yourself that, Pads."
He tossed Remus' phone into its owner's lap. "Let's get to calculus."
Professor Flitwick was a small man with a high-pitched voice and what he lacked in physical size he made up for in intelligence. Class was rigorous and by the end, even Remus, who was quite good at math, had a headache. "Fuck that class," he groaned, plopping into the bleachers beside Peter as their other two friends geared up for Rugby practice. The afternoon was warm and sunny, Peter was already beginning to burn on the tips of his ears.
Sirius had managed to actually get all of his hair tied back, at least for the start of practice. Remus focused on his ebony head as he progressively got muddier and bruised. This was definitely James' element. He flew across the field like a professional. It was easy to understand why he was elected team captain only in his third year. He understood the sport on some sort of cosmic level. Sirius was proficient. Not a rugby star but good enough to stay on the team and fiercely protective of his teammates. A guard dog.
Practice concluded and Sirius jogged over to Remus and Peter, hair successfully slipping from its tie and dripping with sweat. His lip was bloody but he was smiling brightly. The werewolf was overwhelmed with the scent of Sirius and the sight of his exertion that he physical hurt. He clutched at his chest and winced. Holy fuck. What is this? He thought. The wolf inside him growled possessively. Fear flashed through his green eyes. "I have to go to the hospital wing," was the only explanation he offered before bolting off the stands and sprinting back to the castle, barely remembering to contain his inhuman speed.
He through open the doors and tumbled into the hospital wing, hyperventilating. Madam Pomfrey, a pretty, young nurse started in surprise and ran over to him. "Mr. Lupin! What's going on? What's happened?" She knelt on the cold tile floor beside the werewolf, tentatively touching his shoulder.
"I…. I…. Think I'm going to… That the wolf is going to..." his voice shook and he pulled his head into his knees. "Sirius," he breathed.
Pomfrey looked at him with concern and walked away briefly to page the headmaster.
Dumbledore was on the later side of middle age, with long white hair and a beard. He dressed in flamboyant colors and had bright azure eyes that twinkled. He always spoke calmly, soothing even the most distraught of his pupils. "Remus, what's the problem?"
The werewolf had a few minutes to calm down and gather his thoughts. He struggled to explain everything that had happened but Dumbledore listened closely to his stammering rambles. "I smelled him. I smelled his blood. And I thought I would murder him right there," tears flowed freely down his cheeks, splashing into the tile.
Dumbledore considered him for a moment, face blank. Pomfrey looked worried but unafraid. "Curious," the headmaster murmured. "Remus? Are you quite certain you wanted to kill him? Sirius?"
He blinked, contemplating. He remembered Sirius running up to them, grinning from ear to ear. The smell that was quintessentially Sirius Black and then the coppery scent of blood and seeing the boy's split lip. He remembered the panic that overtook him—the concern so visceral that his heart had ached. And then the fury because Padfoot was hurt. Padfoot was bleeding. The wolf's possessive growl.
Dumbledore smiled as realization clicked onto Remus' face. "You'll be fine, my boy." He helped Lupin to his feet and patted his back affectionately. "I'll see you at dinner, yes?"
He nodded blankly with wide, green eyes and left the hospital wing in a slight daze. He began the climb to Gryffindor tower and crashed right into Sirius. His hair was damp and his skin still pink from the hot shower. "Remus! I was coming to the hospital wing to see you. Are you okay?"
In a moment of raw emotion, Remus forcefully pulled Sirius against his chest hugging him tightly and burying his nose into his hair. He was wearing a plain, loose white shirt and plaid pajama pants that looked to be the first thing Sirius had grabbed after his shower. "Whoa. Easy there, Scars. People'll get the wrong idea. I'll get the wrong idea."
"Just shut up for a minute, Padfoot," Remus breathed into his hair, encompassing himself in a shield of Sirius. He didn't argue, instead he raised a hand and rubbed the werewolf's back in small circles. "There was blood and… I don't know."
Sirius laughed and pulled himself from Lupin's embrace. "Blimey, Scars. If this little split lip is gonna make you that sick you won't be able to handle the whole season." He grinned, gray eyes sparkling. For the first time, Remus noticed how intense they were. Liquid silver flecked with crystal blue shards that was like an otherworldly storm.
He had to force himself to look away. "I'll be fine. Just… first time ever seeing another human's blood," technically not a lie, "I wasn't properly prepared. I am now. Rugby is a violent sport. I didn't realize."
Sirius laughed and shoved Remus away playfully. "You're a fucking idiot, Rem. Let's go to dinner, yeah?"
They walked side by side in silence. Remus didn't tell him that he knew now that the wolf inside of him was bloodthirsty, wanting revenge on whoever thought it a good idea to hurt his Sirius. He isn't your Sirius you filthy mutt, he scowled at himself. Still, the wolf snarled when he glanced sideways and saw his split lip, the blood dried and flesh slightly swollen. At least now he knew to prepare for Rugby games: to calm his feral side.
At dinner, Peter and James bombarded Remus with questions. He emphasized that his health was fine, that he wasn't planning on seeing blood and that it threw him off. Late that night, Remus lay on his back, keen ears listening to the heavy breathing of his sleeping comrades. He counted their inhales and exhales until dreams washed him away.
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A/N: Review? Please.
