A/N: Hi guys! I'm on my way to Washington, D.C. right now. The plane is very small, but I'm fine. I've got like two and a half hours of battery left on my laptop.
WARNING: If you don't want to hear me rant about airport security, skip over the next couple of paragraphs. My parents just won't let me. I'm sorry for using you guys as an outlet, but I have to let it out somewhere or I'll implode.
They really overdo security. Just because someone in the ancient history of 2006 put something in their water bottle, they don't have to DRIVE US ALL CRAZY. Yes, there will be CAPS LOCK moments. I'm a fourteen-year-old boy who has had a very tough year at school thanks to FLYING CHAIRS. If they're Hufflepuffs, they can just FIND ANYTHING DANGEROUS THAT MIGHT BE IN THE BOTTLES. And Siriusly? They make you take off your shoes but not your WATCH? DID THESE GUYS EVER READ PERCY JACKSON AND THE OLYMPIANS: THE LAST OLYMPIAN? Watches are much more dangerous than shoes. Also, maybe back in the ancient history of the early 2000s, shoes might have HAD ENOUGH SPACE TO PUT SOMETHING IN THEM. NOW THEY DON'T. GET SOME BRAINS PEOPLE.
I might not like security, but at least it makes sense. And dollars. HA HA U C WHAT I DID. But connection security? Siriusly? I am never flying through FRANKFURT AIRPORT AGAIN. EVER. Frankfurt, Germany, not Frankfort, Kentucky. Connection security makes ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE. WHERE WERE WE SUPPOSED TO HAVE GOTTEN ANYTHING THAT WOULDN'T MAKE IT PAST SECURITY. But then again, security people in Israel actually have some common sense, so they don't raise security about a BILLION LEVELS EVERY TIME SOMETHING HAPPENS. I think they might be either Hufflepuffs or Ravenclaws. But I guess Israeli airport security is just not good enough for these Frankfurtians. They have security in the entrance for the TERMINAL, GATE AREA, ACTUAL GATES, AND EVEN THE TUBE THING CONNECTING THE AIRPORT AND THE PLANE. After the security at the airport, I'm surprised there's no security at the entrance to Lufthansa aircrafts. I guess the Lufthansa people have a little more common sense than the Frankfurt Airport people. Possibly. *thinks about it while nomming a purple Mike and Ike. Yes, they exist* RANT OVER.
GUESS WHO SAW THE WHITE HOUSE. AND THE CAPITOL. AND THE BUREAU OF PRINTING AND ENGRAVING. SIRIUSLY WHAT'S WITH THESE NAMES. AND THE LIBRARY OF CONGRESS. AND THE NATIONAL ARCHIVES. I am writing this paragraph from the hotel at Washington. And I only just managed to get Wi-Fi. The hotel says it's high speed, but if it was, it wouldn't have taken me THREE DAYS to connect to it. Sorry for not uploading right now, but my battery was very close to dying so I had to save and turn the laptop off. And I'll be in Pennsylvania until Thursday. So far, I know I'm going to go to Hershey's Park and the Amish I-don't-know-what-it's-called.
WOW that was a riddikulusly wrong author's note. It took the whole page.
Disclaimer: I do not own the film Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part Two/book Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, or any other book, film, or game in the series, Diary of a Wimpy Kid, X-Men, Call of Duty, or iheartmwpp.
~And now for an entirely pointless addition that I made~
Harry: This is a private conversation. Also, last time I did a scene with a female ghost, it did not go well. *smashes camera and literally kicks it out of Hogwarts*
Camera: I NEVER SAW THE PRIVATE CONVERSATION!
~We apologize for the camera getting smashed by the main character. We are currently fixing it. Meanwhile, let's freeze the image of Harry staring blankly at the ghost who can suddenly turn into a Patronus and let the music do the transition!~
Camera: Where am I?
20th Century Fox Logo: I AM AS MUCH MORE ANNOYING THAN THE WB LOGO AS EVER!
75 years celebration logo: *turns into a Diary of a Wimpy Kid-style drawing*
Diary of a Wimpy Kid Book One: I AM OPENING.
Weird writing of this isn't Harry Potter, this should have been written by someone: SEPTEMBER
Rodrick's creepy voiceover of DOOOOOOOOM!: Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, pancake, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Zachary Gordon, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, -
Greg's creepy voiceover of DOOOOOOOOM!: I can't hear you, I'm sleeping.
~Oops, wrong movie! Let's just turn the screen black now. Ah, there we go~
Random helicopter flying above Hogwarts: *drops camera*
Camera: WHEEEEEEEEEEEE! *opens parachute*
Death Eaters: We seem to have gotten rid of the creepy masks.
Bellatrix: I AM TOTALLY IN LOVE WITH THE DARK LORD!
Pius: I appear to have replaced Lucius as the Dark Lord's right-hand man.
Voldemort: They never learn. Someone yoneld knows is convinced I said that in the exact same tone as Magneto from an X-Men movie. Maybe we share an actor? I don't know, as yoneld has never seen that particular a pity.
Pius: I must have joined the Death Eaters out of my own free will, as I am expressing my opinions. An Imperiused person should not do that. But since when have the filmmakers actually stuck to canon? Also, shouldn't we wait?
Voldemort: *glare of DOOOOOOOOOOOM!*
Creepy, veined shot of the back of Voldemort's head: *is creepy and veined. And a shot of the back of Voldemort's head*
Pius: … Mummy…
Voldemort: *creepy smile* DESTROY! Even though I only had one Gryffindor and according to this version, Stupefy, when done by an elf, never means to kill. Only maim or Siriusly injure. He's still in St. Mungo's in a vegetative state. Now I have no Gryffindors left. How we FIND or DESTROY things is completely and utterly beyond me.
Death Eaters: What's with the Stupefy? As if that would do any harm! In the game version, we cast Petrificus Totalus, which is kind of a spell version of a sniper rifle. They pretty much took Call of Duty and turned the guns into spells.
Force field: Yeah no.
Stupefy jets: *implode*
~How did we see all of this? Aside from that random helicopter dropping the camera? Did Harry have a vision or something? That makes absolutely no sense or dollars, as Harry is still standing in the courtyard~
Harry: *starts running around the courtyard in a panic* AAAAAAHHHHHH! AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! THE SHINY IS IMPLODING!
Stupefy jets: We are still imploding.
Grey Lady: Hem, hem.
yoneld: Can ghosts catch illnesses? Because you appear to have caught Umbridge-itis.
Grey Lady: Can you please get back to the topic of conversation? Because I will turn into a Patronus and dance through you again. Don't try me, I'll do it.
Harry: Hey! That's what you want, too, isn't it, Helena?
Grey Lady: I just said that I do, dummy!
Harry: You misunderstand me. The other thing that you want!
Grey Lady: Imma turn away from you now. *turns away from him now*
Harry: Uh… *runs to a different side of the courtyard* This is urgent! Don't you want to DESTROY it, too, and you're just waiting for a Gryffindor or Hermione's eyebrows? And I am not at all mindful of your feelings, assuming ghosts have them.
Grey Lady: Someone else said he'll DESTROY it, but he didn't seem like a Gryffindor or Hermione's eyebrows. He was dressed in Muggle clothing, so I didn't know which house he was. It was fifty years ago. He was pretty weird, like his name. Also, MORE FANCY TALKING! Again, with me it's okay.
Harry: Well, moving on from the fancy talking, I'm automatically assuming it was Tom Riddle. My scar should be hurting, like it did in Film Four every time there was something slightly associated with Voldemort. CONTINUITY! THIS SERIES HAS NONE!
Grey Lady: He's a lying liar who lies. How I know that is completely and utterly beyond me. *audible gasp* I'M PSYCHIC! And I am speaking monotonously this whole scene. What is with ghosts and monotony?
Harry: I know, right? Voldemort should change his name to "Lying Liar Who Lies".
Grey Lady: *shockingly does not turn into a Patronus or dance through Harry this time, but does go very close to Harry's face*
Harry: This does not bode well.
Grey Lady: I KNOW THAT HE'S A LYING LIAR WHO LIES! I ALSO PSYCHICALLY KNOW WHO HE IS! HE TOTALLY DEFILED IT WITH DARK MAGIC AND STUFF! AND MY VOICE IS ECHOEY!
Harry: I AM STARING BLANKLY AT YOU.
Grey Lady: And now I'm going to sulk. That's how implosions work. *goes to sulk in the cloister*
Harry: *walks towards her* Are you okay?
Grey Lady: NO! LEAVE ME ALONE!
yoneld: This is pretty much the way my sister sulks. And my other sister (the one who turned one in the last chapter) is staring at me. I'm not sure why I told you this.
Harry: I DON'T CARE. Voldemort is a lying liar who lies and he was a Slytherin so he's not that good at DESTROYING things anyways. Now, I may not be Hermione's eyebrows, but I'm a Gryffindor, so I can DESTROY it. Once and for all. And personally, I don't know any seventeen-year-olds who speak like that. And don't tell me Dan was 21 when he did this film, because yoneld's uncle is the same age as Dan and he doesn't speak like that, either. Anyways, I need your help in FINDING it, even though we're not Hufflepuffs.
Grey Lady: Oh well, when combined, we can FIND it as well as one Hufflepuff can.
Harry:And with Hermione's eyebrows' DESTROYING skills, by the end of the night, it will be destroyed. And since you're psychic, you can tell me where the lying liar who lies hid it. *conspiratorial whisper* Can you tell me?
Grey Lady: I don't know…
Harry: Nobody will know, Helena.
Grey Lady: *turns around* Well…
Harry: Plz? *puppy dog eyes*
Grey Lady: D'aww, I can never resist those.
yoneld: I am Siriusly distracted by my baby sister blowing kisses at me.
Soundtrack: Hem, hem.
yoneld: … why is the soundtrack making Umbridge impersonations?
Soundtrack: Let me turn all sad and slow.
Grey Lady: *goes around Harry in circles* Given my psychic abilities, I shouldn't be so surprised that you remind me of the lying liar who lies because I should know you're a Horcrux. CONTINUITY! THIS SERIES HAS NONE! *walks away* Anyways, now my psychic abilities are back. Maybe you make some kind of interference. It's somewhere in the castle.
Harry: I AM STARING BLANKLY AGAIN.
Grey Lady: Hey, guess what? I AM STARING BLANKLY TOO! Anyways, it's where Draco practically lived two films ago. And now for a riddle that is only necessary because of Riddle: If you need to ask, you'll never know. If you know, you need only ask.
Harry: I can solve riddles now? OH MY GOD THE WORLD IS ENDING WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF MY EXISTENCE I WANT A , I solved the riddle. K THX BYEZ. *runs off*
Grey Lady: Let me demonstrate my non-canonical abilities by turning into a Patronus again. *demonstrates her non-canonical abilities by turning into a Patronus again*
A/N: Sorry for the short chapter, I really must go.
Can anyone tell me what's with non-canon abilities the Grey Lady suddenly has?
Review or Harry will smash you and literally kick you out of wherever you are to the wrong movie.
