If a heart broke and no one was around to hear it, does it still make a sound?
Felicity staggered into her apartment nearly thirty minutes later. She was exhausted. Over the course of several days she had found out that Walter wasn't to be trusted, had been threatened by one very powerful Moira Queen, watched Oliver's heart break as she told him the news about Thea's paternity and his mother's deceit, and then walked in on Oliver and Sara after a moment of what looked to be some pretty intense make-up sex.
She needed a drink.
But first she just needed to lie down. She stumbled in the dark towards her couch and she let out a large sigh when her feet finally came off the ground.
Until a bright light flipped on overhead.
She frantically searched the corners of her apartment until her eyes landed on the blonde, leaning against the corner by her kitchen. She was dressed in a pair of old sweatpants and what Felicity assumed to be one of Oliver's sweatshirts. Sara held a bottle of wine, slowly walking forward, swinging it back and forth like a white flag.
"I'm not used to having friends," Sara murmured. "Allies, yes, they are vital in a fight; enemies most definitely, but friends?" Sara looked at Felicity and for a moment she saw a glimpse of the girl that Sara would have been had she not been shipwrecked six years ago.
Felicity took the bottle of wine as Sara sat on the couch next to her, accepting the truce. She liked Sara, liked her attitude, her fight, her ability to adapt and survive. She envied the hold that she still seemed to have over Oliver.
"Do you need a place to stay?" Felicity asked. She half hoped that she wouldn't accept, because Felicity considered her home to be her one place of sanctuary from her other lives. The other half of her hoped she would, because then she knew that Sara wouldn't be staying at the foundry with Oliver.
"No," Sara shook her head slowly, smiling. "I think I'm actually going to stay with my father for awhile," she muttered in way of explanation.
"Oh," Felicity couldn't be sure if this was the truth, but she wasn't sure what to say after that. She didn't want to bring up what she had walked in on, but at the same time, she couldn't think of another reason that Sara would be here.
"You and Oliver are a lot alike," Sara looked at her as she opened the wine bottle and took a long drink.
"Not really," Felicity muttered, flushing slightly. She took the bottle when Sara handed it to her and took an equally long drink. She noticed that the label was one sold at the club and almost laughed.
"You're both too selfless for your own good. You both see the good in everyone but yourselves. You're both willing to do whatever it takes to save those you care about. But Felicity?" Sara's voice held a warning in it, and Felicity's stomach turned, anticipating what Sara was about to say.
"Someone always cares more in a relationship. And whoever that person is, they always end up short-changed," Sara's blue eyes locked with Felicity's and for one moment, they were both just two girls, discussing boys.
"Men," Felicity sighed, as she rolled her eyes, taking another drink. "I guess I can kind of understand why you dated Nyssa for awhile," Felicity flinched as soon as the words left her mouth. It wasn't so much that Sara had been with Nyssa, it was that she had been with Nyssa and still come back to Oliver.
Luckily, Sara just laughed. "Trust me," she smiled. "Women aren't any easier. Nyssa did just try to bring me back to the League, poisoned my sister, abducted my mother, and threatened to kill me—talk about drama," Sara laughed again as she took the bottle from Felicity.
"Fine," Felicity laughed once. "You win," she did feel marginally better, if she ignored the fact that Sara had just slept with Oliver.
"I won't be the one to walk away from him," Sara looked at her, their conversation turning serious. "He's the one person that ties all of my lives together," she shrugged as she explained.
Felicity only nodded. She didn't know what to say. Her place in Oliver's life seemed replaceable. He had managed without an IT expert before, she was certain he could do it again.
"He might not need you as an IT expert for Team Arrow," Sara started and Felicity realized that she had spoken aloud. "But he wants you, and that makes all the difference. Oliver has never been the kind of person to need anyone, but when he wants them, he keeps them. It's why he couldn't let go of my sister, it's why he's worked so hard to save me, and it's why I know he will make the right decision when it comes to you," Sara raised her head, meeting Felicity's eyes, and heat flooded Felicity's cheeks.
Sara stood, leaving the bottle on Felicity's side table as she walked towards the front door. Felicity wanted to ask a million questions and at the same time, she wanted to sleep for years and never wake up.
"Wait!" Felicity nearly shouted as she unfolded herself from the couch.
Sara raised an eyebrow, trying to decipher Felicity's desperate look.
"Why did you come here—tell me all of this?" Felicity tried to ask all of the questions bouncing inside her brain and narrow them into this one.
"I don't know," Sara shrugged. "I won't say that tonight meant nothing—sex never means nothing, even if it doesn't mean what you think it means," Sara looked at Felicity pointedly. "There are times when a man will kiss you, and you know it's forever, then there are other times where you know it's for one night," Sara paused at the sick look on Felicity's face, but she kept going. "Then there are times where goodbye hangs your lips for hours after and instead of tasting bitter or disappointed, it just tastes like closure."
Felicity nodded, feeling the tears well in her eyes. The last kiss she had was from a drunken frat boy at a college graduation party. It had only tasted like beer.
Sara walked out the door and Felicity slid down the wall, the wine running like heat through her body. After her conversation with Sara, she felt marginally better. Sara didn't love Oliver, Oliver didn't love Sara, and per Oliver's usual conquests, Felicity assumed that the worst was over.
If she could work with the troll Isabel Rochev, she could most certainly work with Sara.
She slid into bed an hour later after a long, hot shower and sat her glasses and tablet on the bedside table. She had just shut her eyes when the screen lit up and she slid her glasses back on, wondering who would be contacting her this late at night.
Oliver: I'm sorry
She looked at the screen. Another apology from Oliver Queen, and this time she had proof.
Felicity: It's ok
She was tired and she really didn't want to have this conversation via her tablet. She sat it down, but just as she did her screen lit up again
Oliver: You're pretty remarkable
She smiled—a true, bright, Felicity smile.
Felicity: Well, thank you for remarking on it
Oliver: I make mistakes, but you make me better
Felicity didn't reply. She thought that Oliver was better. She didn't see him for the playboy 'Ollie' that he was before or the stranded captive he had been on the island or even as the CEO Mr. Queen/Arrow that he was today. He was just Oliver—and that made him all of those things and so much more.
Oliver: I don't want to fight anymore; I don't want to fight you anymore. But already my desire and my will were being turned like a wheel…
He trailed off and even in the secret darkness of her bedroom she blushed. She knew the rest of the quote from Dante's Paradiso. She laughed once at the irony. The word meant "paradise" and it came after Purgatoria, or Purgatory in Dante's Divine Comedy.
Felicity: …by the Love that moves the sun and other stars
