Chapter 3,

Isabella's POV,

They all looked at me with shock on there faces, I dont think any of them expected me to really tell them. But I only really wanted to tell Jasper, but I knew his family were not going to leave us in peace, they are all some nosey fuckers. I started with when I returned to the camp. I didnt look at anyone when telling this I just stared at the floor.

"When I returned back to camp, Maria was waiting for me with Jackson, She demanded I tell her where you had all gone. But you all know how stubborn I am. When she knew she wasnt getting anything from me she told Jackson to take me to the punishment barn and she would be there shortly. He picked me up by my throat, run to the barn and threw me to the floor. I bet you all thought that there was no way on this earth to tie a vampire up and have them absolutely useless? Well let me tell you, there is a way. He tied my hand above my head with metal chains coated in venom and vampire teeth, every time I moved those bastard bit into my skin.

He then spread my legs and bound my feet to the walls. He laughed with glee everytime he saw me wince in pain. I knew what he wanted, he want me to scream and I wasnt going to give him the satisfaction of hearing that come from my mouth. He ripped my clothes from my body and ran his nails down my chest, He then bit into my breast all while shouting at me, asking me if I liked it rough, saying that he had heard me and Jasper in our tent late at night, he said he always wanted me, lusted after my body. He went to bite me again when Maria walked in.

She walked right up to me and slapped me round the face. It didnt hurt but I knew what she was trying to say, I am your boss, your leader and you have disobayed me. She asked me one last time where you guys were so I thought I'd piss her off a little bit more, I laughed in her face, and said if she thinks for one second I am going to tell her anything that she's crazier then a bat that shits itself. Yeah she didnt like that, she stroked my face then ran her finger nail down my neck until she got to my mating mark. She ran her finger nail down it then came to look into my face.

You will be punished for what you have made me lose. Ten years in this barn, Jackson will be watching you. Two years for the stupid vampires you made me save, eight years for losing me my Major. Get used to Jackson face because you will be seeing him everyday. He will not only be doing most of your punishment but he will also be watching you.

She then leaned in closer to my face and said. You will learn to listen to me again, and bit over my mating mark from Jasper. She thought by doing this I would always be loyal to her. Stupid bitch didnt even realize that, that wasnt actually my real mark. Anyway, an hour later she walks back in with four newborns, I could tell they had only been awake for two hours tops. She came up to me, said have you changed your mind? Tell me where they are. I just looked at her. She then smirked at me, If you wont tell me then maybe these guys can get it out of you. She turned to the newborns, Play with her as much as you want, make her scream for you I want to hear it. Then walked out.

I looked at the newborns and saw that she hadnt fed them yet, stupid crazy bitch that she was. The newborns walked over to me, and yeah you all know what happened I dont need to go into detail about that. They even bit me a few times think that was Maria's way of marking me as hers forever. These continued for about three years sometimes it would be four newborns others it would be six, never the same either always new. Maria was getting pretty pissed off that she couldnt hear me screaming and I still wasnt saying anything, She came in, in a foul mood.

She didnt say anything to me just ripped my arms off, then my legs. She then bit everywhere she could on my torso. By this time I was starved, and couldnt even think about fighting or talking. She left my limbs off for six hours, then reattached them only to do it all over again. Until my last year. That year she got very creative. She brought in whips and chains coated in venom, vampire teeth and werewolf teeth. Gotta tell ya that hurt like a son of a bitch.

She would whip me with them when I wouldnt scream at the fact that she was once again ripping my limbs off. Jackson was the last one to come in and rape me. Then my punishment was finished. They untied me, told me not to do anything so stupid again, then took me hunting. Yeah hadnt been fed in ten years and she takes me hunting, I massacred a whole town in under ten minutes. I can still remember hearing the cries of pain and fear from the children as they watched me tear there parents throats out. Then I'd do it to them.

Maria seemed happy with this thinking she had finally broke me, No what she did next broke me. I dont know wheather any of you know but me and Jasper were together in our human life, I was his wife before he joined the army. We spent many years together. He came home on leave and we slept together, he left the next day to go back to the war, unknown to me then though, he left me pregnant. I didnt tell Jasper in any of the letters I had written to him, it wasnt something I wanted to say in a letter. Jasper once again had leave, by this time I was eight months gone, I wasnt having a very good pregnancy it was like the babies were sucking the life out of me. Anyway Jasper spent two weeks with me then, and thankfully I gave birth to, two beautiful little boys, Andre John Whitlock and Dwaine Peter Whitlock. Andre was older by three minutes.

Unfortunately Jasper had to leave three days later, leaving me with our boys. That was the last time we saw him. Three months later an army officer came to the door and told me that he had gone missing in action. I felt my whole world crumple around me. I wanted to brake but couldnt because I had the boys to think about. Anyway back to where I was, Maria took me to a near by lake to wash off, only this wasnt just any normal lake this was the lake behind my home. The home I had with Jasper, the home I left for the boys. I was still in a frenzie at this time and couldnt help myself.

I smelt the blood and had to have it. It wasnt until I was drainning Dwaine, that I realized these were my children. She had made me kill my own children. When I demanded an answer she simply said I couldnt have you having any ties to the human world or Jasper. You will forget about him and become the new Major, just more lethal.

After that my demon took over there fore creating the Goddess of War, the Angel of death, The Commandor. I spent so many years locked away in my own head letting her take me over completely. She didnt feel the pain that I had. She was death and destruction in one person. I won every fight and battle after that becoming unbeatable. Even the Volturi are scared of me. My life was death, trainning, killing, trainning, being used as a sex toy for newborns who over powered me when I was weak due to Maria limiting my hunting. I spent so many years doing this that it became who I was for sixty five years.

I didnt know a way out of it, it was all I knew. And a part of me didnt want to walk away from that life. I held power over alot of people, and every person respected me automatcialy without question. But I crouldnt stay I had made a promise to my family that I would get out and find them. Even though my demon took over, I could still feel every bit I got every time someone thrust so hard into me, I could feel the mating pulling me aching, throbbing, telling me my mate wasnt here. But I was powerless to stop it.

Until I heard Maria talking about Peter and Charlotte saying she had found there location, she was plainning on using them to get to Jasper. I couldnt let that happen. And thats when I snapped out of my shit but at the same time losing my shit. I killed every newborn, every adult vampire then I destroyed Maria and Jackson, then I burn the camp down and I had done all this in only an hour. I didnt know what to do after that it was a confusing time for me.

So I tried to find Jasper, it was so hard to tune back into the mating, I couldnt find you or pinpoint where you were. I just ran none stop for six months until I found Peter's scent. Then the rest as they say is history."

I finished telling me story, I knew Jasper was furious cause I could feel it radiating from him. I looked up and around the room to every face there. The only one that didnt seem bothered by it was Alice.

I could of found out what they were saying if I listened in but they had to come to me this had to settle into there minds.

Esme was the first to recover, she came over to me slowly and kneeled in front of me, she put her hand on my cheek and looked into my eyes.

"You have been through more then anyone person should have. Maria was a despicable person and Im glad you killed her. Do you have any pictures from yours and Jasper's time together as humans? I would really like to see them."

I gave her a small smile

"I think I have a few at home, I can dig out for you. I even have a few of Jasper when he was only seven years old."

She smiled at me then leaned forward.

"Isabella may I hug you?"

I thought for a moment, but didnt need to. I knew I wanted someone to comfort me who wasnt my family but who was I going to tell? Vampire's see my scars and run in the other direction.

I nodded my head then I was surranded by the scent of Apples and cherry blossoms, Emse's scent. It was amazing.

Carlisle was next to come over. He kneeled next to his wife took my hands and gently ran his thumb over the back of my hand.

"Isabella, for such a young person you have matured beyond your years. I can see why Jasper fell in love with you both as a Human and a Vampire. The strength you showed in that position was outstanding. I wouldnt of been able to not scream at them for the things they did. You truely are an amazing person. And you are welcome into our family as our own."

"Thank you Carlisle, It is going to take a little time for me to trust everybody but I can promise you I would never do anything to hurt any memeber of this family unless they meant to hurt me first."

"I know you wouldnt. You can trust us Bella."

I nodded my head to Carlisle, I knew I could trust every memeber of this family but the evil little pixie who kept giving little glares from across the room. Little bitch was gonna be playing with the Goddes of war if she werent careful. Fuck.

I once again looked round the room and saw acceptance and love on there faces. I looked to Jasper and he wasnt looking at me, he was looking out of the window seemingly far away. I knew my story was going to be hard for him, he had only seen our little boys for three days. I also wondered if maybe he blamed me for there death. Of course I blame myself I should of been able to hold my thirst, I should of been able to reconigze there scent sooner. I should of been able to stop.

There was so many should of's that I should of done. Maybe if I did my existence would of been different. I can handle blaming myself for our little ones death, but I could not or would not be able to handle it if Jasper blamed me.

I needed to know what he was thinking right now because I couldnt sit here and continue on with my mental babble.

I slowly reached my hand out to gently place it over his, when I was a breath away from touching him, he flinched away from me. I snacthed my hand back and looked at him in horror. Had he been so far into himself that he hadnt seen me coming? Or he didnt want me touching him. If that was the case then I would leave.

"Jasper?" I whispered.

He didnt turn around, her didnt look at me, he just stared out of the window.

I looked over to Edward to see if he saw what Jasper was thinking about, And what I saw comfirmed my thoughts, He was wincing clearly seeing something he didnt like or agree with.

"Jasper, Are you okay?" I whispered again. I went to put my hand back onto his when he suddenly jumped up and was glaring at me.

"Dont!" he snarled.

I just looked at him, I didnt know what he wanted me to do, I didnt know what I wanted me to do. I thought he would understand, he knew what Maria was like, He had experienced her first hand. What would I do if he didnt want me in his life? I would die. This would not be like me telling him to leave this is him refusing the mating bond between us and that would just kill me.

"How can you sit there with so many emotions? How can you sit there and feel no guilt after killing our own little boys?"

"Guilt? You want to talk to me about Guilt Jasper. I suffered for what I did, for a very long time after it happened. I couldnt hunt for myself for a whole year after I did that. My new second Smithy had to bring me thermoses full of human blood because I just couldnt do it. I didnt want to servive after it happened. Dont you dare stand there and talk to me about feeling any damn guilt. You know nothing."

He looked at me, with so much hatred that I just wanted to leave and never look back.

"You should feel guilt you took there life away from them, because you couldnt control yourself."

"Control? This hand nothing to do with control. I hadnt fed in ten years Jasper do you know how that feels? My limbs were ripped from my body every day sometimes three times a day. You dont know what the hell I went through. You can hear my story but you can never understand what I went through."

"I was there with you. I went through some of that with you."

"Yeah you did, for the first fifty years of that damn life. I have lived that life for one hundred and thirty years."

He looked at me with utter disgust on his face, I turned away from him. He knew nothing of what I felt that day. I looked around the room and all I saw was disgust from every face expect Peter and Char. I looked to my brother and he looked into my eyes. I silently begged him for something. I didnt know what but I just needed something.

He stood up, came and stood by me put his arms around me and let me sob into his chest. I could never cry real tears this life this existence prevented it.

I pulled me tight against him and I knew I was safe. My brother would help me.

"What the fuck is wrong with you Major?" Peter growled.

"ME? ME?" Hissed Jasper

"Yes you, you mother fucking cock sucker. How dare you speak to her this way. What happened wasnt her fault. It was Maria's and you know it. If you had been there none of this would have happened. Shit I wish my sister never met you all you've done through out your time together is hurt her. You left her to go fight a damn war you didnt belong in, she got turned because of you, she got punished because of you. She has stood by your side no matter what. Even when you were ripping her limbs off and biting the fuck outta her"

I turned out of Peter's embrace to see what was happening, they were both glaring at each other. I could see something was about to brake me completely but could do nothing to stop it.

It came from Jasper so suddenly I didnt see it happening. One minuet Im looking around the room, the next Im up against the wall with Jasper's hand around my throat. I could of easily got out of it but didnt bother.

"You have ruined everything that was pure between us. How can you stand in this room with me knowing you killed our children."

"You wanted to hear my story, I told you it wasnt a bed time story. What did you expect?"

"Isabella Marie Whitlock, you are no longer my wife. You no longer belong to me, I want noting more to do with you. Get out of my life, and get out of my house. Stay away from my family"

He then dropped me on the floor. I just sat there not really registering what he had just said, When did my life go down hill. I looked to his family and they were all looking at Jasper with horror, fear and disgust.

He wouldnt even look at me.

I stood up trying not to let my emotions come out in front of people, I looked over to Peter and Char who looked like they wanted to kill Jasper. Then I looked back to Jasper. He had his back to me. His words echoing around my head. I was finally understanding what he had said, My mate the love of my existence didnt want me anymore.

Thats when the pain started. It felt like the burn of the change, combined with a thousand knives going through my heart, I felt like my limbs were being ripped from my body. I couldnt handle this pain, I wanted it to end. I let out a sob and saw in the corner of my eye that Esme was on the verge of coming over to me to embrace me.

I shock my head to her and she stopped.

"I'm sorry Jasper, I didnt mean to upset you with my story. I didnt mean for any of that to happen. I will leave like you have asked and you will not see me again. I just hope that one day you can forgive me."

Another sob broke free. I held my breath stopping the from coming. I looked over to the Cullens and saw all the females sobbing into there mates, something I would never do again.

"Thank you for making me feel welcome Carlisle and Esme, You have a lovely home and should be proud of all your adopted children. It was nice meeting you I hope you all have a happy future."

I chanced one more look at Jasper and to my surprise he was looking at me, with emotions I couldnt even understand. I nodded my head to him then left. I ran through the forest at a speed I had forgot I possessed. I got home and went straight to my room packing what belongings I had.

I went down stairs and write a note for Peter and Charlotte.

My dearest brother Peter and my beautiful sister Charlotte.

I am so sorry I bought this to your door. But I am not sorry I came back to you.
I love you with all my heart I couldnt have asked for a better family.
Please dont follow me.

Goodbye

Isabella.

I left the note on the table then walked out of the door. I had one destination in mind the one place I knew would end my existence.

Volterra