A/N You can see pictures of Kurt and Jeff on my Live Journal posts using the links on my profile. If you are hoping for hot boy-boy action, not in this chapter but soon I promise. Also, I'm seriously mad at the Glee writers right now. Blaine was awesome tonight but what have they done to Kurt? Have they even seen season 1? As always I live for reviews!

Early Saturday Morning - Paintball practice range

Kurt really had been trying to pay attention but Jeff kept breathing in his ear, putting his hands all over him, standing so close behind him and he just couldn't hence the lecture he was currently getting about how serious this lesson was.

"Kurt if you aren't going to pay attention, I'm not going to give you a marker or ammo. Your just going to have to sit tight and hope you don't get killed. Do you want to learn to shoot or not?"

Kurt sighed.

"OK, I'll pay attention. I promise. I really want to help your team. It's just so hard with you being all sexy and stuff."

Jeff laughed.

"I meant difficult! It's difficult to concentrate but I promise I can do it."

"OK let's start from the top. This is your marker. It looks like a rifle but it shoots marks so we call it a marker. I'm giving you our lightest easiest model. It doesn't have the range of some of our better markers but I'm think it's the best choice for you"

"And marks are the little balls of paint?"

"Correct. Each team get the same amount of ammo at the beginning of the campaign so it is really important to make every shot count. You don't want to take the shot unless you are pretty sure you can make a mark. Preferably a kill shot. See your target there? All the areas in the middle mean the target is dead. If you hit a leg or arm they are just wounded. That good too because if they are hit in the leg they have to go down. They can still shoot but they are effectively out of commission. Now hold it like this."

Jeff stood close behind Kurt again getting him into position. "Look down your sight and squeeze the trigger. Don't jerk it; just squeeze with even pressure. And don't hold your breath. Just breathe slow and even. The key is to stay calm. OK. Give it a try."

Kurt did as he was told.

"That was really good. You hit him right in the stomach. That's a kill. Do it again."

They kept at it for several more rounds until Kurt was able to consistently hit the target without Jeff's help. Then there was the quiz.

"What's the first rule?"

"Never take off my visor or helmet in the theater. But why is it called a theater? Aren't we going to be outside?"

Jeff sighed.

"It's a military term. It just means where the combat is happening. And it is very important. You could lose an eye if you got hit without your visor."

"But this thing is gone to mess up my hair."

"You can fix your hair. You can't fix your eye."

"What will you do if you wound someone?"

"What for someone else to finish him."

"If you are hit?"

"Drop to the ground no matter where I'm hit."

"If you are just wounded?"

"Shoot the guy who comes to finish me."

"OK, I don't have time to teach you more. It would help if you knew sign but we'll make due for now. We need to get to the bunker and get ready for the operation."

Jeff introduced Kurt to the rest of the squad which consisted of four teams of four boys each. Jeff was the squad commander and Nick was something called an XO. Kurt didn't bother to ask what that meant because he was too busy trying to remember everyone's names. He knew Nick and Chris who were in Warblers with him but he didn't know any of the other boys. After he tried to learn everyone's name he discovered they all had code names and he was supposed to learn those too. Names like Chaos, McNugget, and Q-Tip which made no sense at all to Kurt. Jeff went over the battle plan for what seemed to be hours even though it was probably more like twenty minutes. Somehow, this was all way more organized than Kurt had expected. He'd pictured a bunch of wild boys running around shooting each other with paint but apparently this was some kind of serious military mission. To capture a flag. Kurt did his best not to fall asleep.

"We've never faced this squad before but I know the commander's style. He likes to lay down fire with automatic weapons because it sounds cool and macho but we can use that to our advantage. We have the best sharper shooters in the league and they are going to just be wasting ammo. Their weakness plays perfectly to our strengths. Alright guys, everyone knows their mission. Corporal Hummel is new and untrained so I'll be keeping him on my team for now."

Corporal Hummel?

"Weapon and safety checks. Go."

Each boy handed his weapon to a boy next to him and put their helmets on. Everyone started inspecting their buddy's weapon and helmet.

"Kurt, I'll do you" offered Nick.

"Who am I supposed to check?"

"You're not qualified yet, Kurt" answered Jeff. "I'll train you on that next time."

Nick checked both Jeff and Kurt's equipment.

"Sound check" announced Jeff as he exited the bunker.

Everyone just stood there so Kurt did the same.

Then the boys were answering.

"Roger that, Bravo team leader reporting"

"Bravo two reporting"

"Bravo three reporting"

Each of the boys reported until Kurt was startled to hear Jeff's voice in his ear saying "Alpha team this is Viking Actual report."

Kurt wasn't sure what to do but Chris answered "Roger that, Alpha two reporting" followed by Q-tip answering "Alpha three reporting".

Kurt figure he must be Alpha four so he replied "Alpha four reporting?"

Jeff came back in and began shouting which freaked Kurt out a bit.

"Are we taking the flag?"

"Sir, yes, sir" shouted all the boys.

"I said, are we taking that flag?"

"Sir, yes, sir" they all shouted again but a little louder.

"Are we taking that fucking flag?"

"Sir, yes, sir" they all shouted even louder still.

"Who are we?"

"Sir, we are Viking squad, sir!

"What are we?"

"Sir, we are righteous, sir!"

Then Kurt felt like he was swimming an a toxic sludge of testosterone as the boys started yelling "Hoo-rah" and he just wanted to turn back time and spend the day at a spa getting a facial and a mani-pedie. This was just not his idea of fun.

"Squad we are Oscar Mike, now" said Nick's voice in Kurt's ear.

Oscar Mike? Who the hell is Oscar Mike? thought Kurt but everyone was running out the door so he followed his team.

As the hours went by, Kurt was surprised at how boring things got. First there would be a flurry of shooting and running then there would be waiting and waiting, hiding behind some barrier or another. The field was filled with obstacles, ditches, and concrete tunnels. Kurt did make one kill which he was momentarily proud of but it seemed that there was so much going on that he was completely unaware of and he was beginning to feel useless again. And there was entirely too much crawling. And despite the cold he was sweating in the ridiculous unfashionable uniform he was wearing. Jeff was in constant contact with the other team leaders on the radio and had only fired four shots. Four shots and four kills. Apparently he never missed. Occasionally, everything would go completely silent and the boys would start signing then Kurt felt especially lost.

Kurt had no idea what time it was but they had lost ten boys and the remaining six had reformed into one team. Nick was still with them and in fact had just returned from reconnaissance.

"They are down to just three men now" said Jeff. "We out number them two to one and I'm positive they are low on ammo. They've wasted enough painting the landscape. It's time to take the flag."

"We need a goat" said Nick.

"Where are we going to get a goat?" asked Kurt.

All the boys just looked at Kurt and he didn't need to see their faces to realize that he'd just been stupid.

"I'm the goat, aren't I?"

Jeff came over to Kurt and put his hands on Kurt's shoulders.

"Corporal Hummel, this is a suicide mission I'm asking you to go on but your squad needs you. Will you volunteer?"

"Sure why not?" Kurt shrugged. "I mean, sir, yes, sir, I volunteer to be the goat."

Kurt ran out as instructed, keeping his side to the enemy location. As expected he was marked and he dropped to the ground. He waited for the enemy to come finish him off and while he was waiting he heard fire being exchanged between the teams. Then he could see the guy approaching, cover fire reigning down behind him. Kurt took careful aim just like he'd been instructed and took him down. Unfortunately not before he got off a point blank round to Kurt's chest. Kurt wasn't sure how many times he was hit but it hurt like hell. At least he'd accomplished his mission. The official came out and inspected the two of them and as expected they were sent off the field.

He was supposed to go the stands where the rest of the dead from team were waiting but he really needed a shower so he just went to the bunker instead. The game was pretty much over anyway.

By the time he was done and back in the clothes he'd arrived in, sure enough the whole team was out on the field yelling and high-fiving without their helmets so he figured it was safe to go back out. He should have known better. Within minutes he was covered in paint as the boys clapped him on the back and put him up on their paint splattered shoulders despite his protests. Everyone was laughing and shouting "fancy, fancy, fancy" so he figured they'd won.

When they got back to the bunker the boys started peeling out of their uniforms and hitting the showers.

"Jeff please tell me this will come out of my clothes" pleaded Kurt.

Jeff shrugged and said "Maybe? It mostly washes out of the uniforms. But seriously Kurt why did you change anyway? I hate for you to drive back to Lima just for a change of clothes but I really wanted you to come over for dinner."

"I have another outfit in the car for dinner. I wasn't going to wear this, anyway."

"So you wore this just for the trip from Lima and you are going to wear another outfit to dinner? You know it's just a casual family dinner right?"

"I know."

Jeff just shook his head. "OK, I'm going to hit the showers while you get your other outfit." as he turned to go, Kurt stopped him with a question.

"Wait, why were they yelling fancy?"

"That's your new call sign, Kurt. You earned it."

"Yeah, Kurt" interrupted Nick "while we were winning the campaign after hours of combat, you missed the culmination of all of our hard work to go fix your hair. So you earned the name Fancy. You're stuck with it."

"I hate to ask how someone gets to be called Q-Tip then. And why are you Number One?"

"I'm Number One because I'm the XO" replied Nick.

"That's helpful."

Nick was taken aback. "Seriously? You don't now what the XO is?"

"I have no idea."

"Executive officer. That mean I'm second in command to Jeff. That's why I'm Number One. I'm his Number One officer."

"You guys need to get that I don't know anything about this stuff."

Kurt went to his car to get his dinner outfit.

Before you met me I was alright

But things were kind of heavy

You brought me to life now

Oh, I really should change that ring tone Kurt thought as he answered his phone.

"Hi, Blaine, what's up?"

"Hi Kurt, what are you up to?"

"Playing paint ball with Jeff."

Blaine laughed.

"Seriously what are you doing today?"

"I was being serious. I killed two guys and helped win the game. Or at least I think I helped win."

"I'm having troubling picturing you playing paint ball. It's so messy."

"Yeah, I found that out. So why did you call?"

"I haven't seen you in a while and I miss you."

"I saw you yesterday."

"But we haven't gone out for a while and I was hoping you would come to the revival theater tonight with me."

They hadn't been out since Rachel's party in fact.

"Sorry, I'm busy tonight. I'm having dinner at my boyfriend's house."

"Boyfriend?"

"You know, Jeff, my boyfriend."

"I know who you meant, I was just surprised you are calling each other that so soon."

"Jeff is a guy who knows exactly what he wants and isn't afraid to go for it. I like that in a boyfriend."

Actually Jeff had been a quivering mass of nerves who had almost not asked him out but he wasn't going to tell Blaine that.

"Oh, I guess I'll see you Monday then. Have fun."

"Blaine, we'll go out next week. We can make plans on Monday. Just because I have a boyfriend now doesn't mean we can hang out. You're my best friend."

"I am?"

"Sure, my best friend that isn't a proud black woman."

They said their good byes and Kurt headed back to change into his dinner outfit.

Kurt was still buttoning up his shirt when Jeff came out in nothing but a towel.

Oh God. His chest is bare, his hair is wet and that towel is barely hanging onto his hips.

Kurt just stared in awe. Jeff look really good without a shirt. His muscles were defined and there wasn't an once of fat on him. And then he was standing really close brushing his fingers along Kurt's chest.

"I'm so sorry. Does it hurt?"

Kurt was confused at first but then he realized Jeff was asking about the bruises on his chest. He meant to say 'It's no big deal' but it just came out as "Guh". He couldn't keep himself from reaching out to touch Jeff's chest but just before his fingers connected they were interrupted.

"Jeff, I need to speak to you in private" said Nick. Jeff and Nick walked over to the other side of the room where Kurt couldn't hear. He watched as Jeff's fine ass moved under the towel and he might have prayed to the god he didn't believe in to make that towel fall off. Unfortunately it didn't.

Boys started spilling out in twos and threes. All congratulating Kurt again as they left with strange phrases like 'stay frosty' and 'righteous kills'. One boy said 'good luck melting the ice, man and stay frosty' which seemed like conflicting advice at best. It all seemed pretty good natured and he got the feeling they really accepted him which was a welcome change from football where despite winning a game for them he was tormented as if he wasn't even on the team. A guy whose nickname was McNugget advised 'Fancy, try not to get paint on that fancy new outfit.' but he didn't seem to mean any harm. Kurt didn't like the nickname Fancy in the least but he supposed it was better than McNugget and he really didn't want to know the story behind that one.

Chris was the last to go and he teased Kurt for missing the flag capture but seemed to be OK with it. With everyone but Nick and Jeff gone he finished getting dressed and retouched his hair as he watched the pair who seemed to be having an argument of some kind.

"Jeff, you can't have your boyfriend under you. It's a problem."

Jeff smiled as he looked over at Kurt and imagined just that. Kurt under him without those ridiculously tight plaid pants. Jeff had no idea what Nick was going on about because that seemed like a really excellent idea. In fact he planned on making it happen really soon.

"Jeff, get your mind out of the gutter! That wasn't what I meant" exclaimed Nick.

"What? What are you talking about?"

"I'm speaking as your XO, here. I meant in the chain of command. You shouldn't have put Kurt in your direct chain of command. You need to move him to another team because having him on yours was distracting you."

"It didn't. We had a fantastically successful campaign. We owned that theater the entire battle. And Kurt had two kills which is exemplary for a first battle. He showed courage under fire."

"And you had five kills, Jeff."

"Those were all righteous."

"Four were to directly protect Kurt from being shot. He would have been out of commission in two minutes if you hadn't been looking out for him."

"So he's good at drawing fire. I used that to our advantage."

"Everyone knows you're the best marksman in the league but we need you as our commander more. What if you'd been hit? We are supposed to protect you not the other way around."

"If I'm out, then you take over. Nick, you're an excellent officer, you'd do fine if I'm out. You know everything I do. That's the way chain of command works. If you're hit then Brad is commander. All the way down to Kurt if he'd the last man standing then he's squad commander. You know this Nick. I can't be essential to our campaign. That's bad leadership."

"Jeff, how can you be such a great leader and be so clueless as to why? We're the best squad in the league because of you. Sure I could've won today. Anyone could have. The Eagle's squad leader is an idiot. What if we'd been facing someone competent? Someone who might notice how important Kurt is to you? Worse, what about when the squad starts thinking the goal is to protect Kurt instead of sticking to the battle plan?"

"That isn't going to happen. No one but you knows Kurt is my boyfriend and it's going to stay that way. You haven't told anyone have you?"

"No, I haven't but you can't stay in the closet forever. You aren't exactly subtle about how you feel about him. If half of Dalton doesn't know already it must be because they are completely blind. You turn into a puddle of goo every time he looks in your direction. And you were practically making out when I walked in on the two of you. I don't know why you care if anyone knows. Jeff, you've been my best friend since we were nine so I say this with love - you're being an idiot. No one cares that you're gay."

"They are going to figure it out aren't they?" said Jeff with a sigh. He closed his eyes briefly as if trying to picture what that would be like. "There is no way they are going to follow a gay commander. I'm going to lose my command but that's OK. Kurt is worth it. I don't need to be squad commander, I have other things and you'll do fine when you take over" he continued in a resigned voice.

"Are you even listening to me? Do you hear yourself? What planet and what century are you living in, Jeff? They do follow a gay leader because they follow you and you are still the same person. No one cares any more. Don't ask don't tell has been repealed. It's totally legal to serve and this isn't the real military any way. We're just pretending. Do I need to print it on a t-shit? Tattoo it on my head? No one cares. I'm pretty sure the whole squad has already figured it out. They have no problem with Kurt and they don't even know him so why should they have a problem with you?"

"I don't know what you want from me, Nick. I'm not going to announce it. You've never gone around telling people you're straight so why should I have to say anything to anyone?"

"I've told you about every girlfriend and every little crush I've ever had."

"So, I told you the minute Kurt agreed to go out with me."

"Touché"

"Can we stop fighting now? Kurt is looking at us and he looks worried."

"Well we can't have that. Just move him to another team. That's all I'm asking. Or better yet, find someone else to take Eric's place because I don't think Kurt even wants to be in the squad. Did you know he didn't even know what XO meant?"

"He's new, I'll tutor him" said Jeff with a sly smile.

"Can't you just try not to turn every serious comment into some double entendre? Focus, team, Kurt, moving him, yes?"

"Yes. He's on Bravo team. You're his team leader and we'll move Tori to Alpha. Happy now?"

"Close enough. Now go get dressed before everyone starts thinking we're doing a gay porn video."

"Alright, Hummel, you're my driver. Let's get going" called Nick as he approached Kurt.

"But what about…" he looked back toward the locker room where Jeff had just disappeared to.

"He'll be along in his fancy assed electric toy car in a little while."

"Bite me!" yelled Jeff from the other room.

"You wish!" said Nick as they exited the bunker and headed to Kurt's car.

"Shouldn't we really wait for Jeff? I don't want to just show up at his house without him."

"Don't worry; I have an all access pass to the Herrmann household. I practically live there myself. Jeff is like my brother. Besides, he'll be right behind us – unlike you most guys can get dressed in under two minutes."

Jeff tackled Nick and pinned him to the ground. Neither of them had seen him coming.

"Let me up" demanded Nick.

"Not until you say it."

"Say what?" said Nick pretending he didn't know what Jeff wanted.

"You know what you have to say."

"Fine. The Tesla Roadster is the most awesome car ever built." He said in a mono tone.

"Nope, not good enough. Say it like you mean it."

"The Tesla Roadster is the most awesome car ever built" he said with fake upbeat chipperness.

"Good enough. You're forgiven" allowed Jeff as he let Nick up. "Now you drive it to my place so I can ride with my boyfriend" he said smugly.

"That is so not fair. You get to ride in the manly man car. Kurt, sweet ride by the way."

When Nick had driven away, Jeff took Kurt in his arms and kissed him.

"I've wanted to do that all day."

"Then why wouldn't you make out this morning?"

"Because we needed to concentrate on winning. But I'll make it up to you now."

They kissed softly at first and then the kisses began to deepen. Jeff's hands fluttered restlessly along Kurt's back before settling firmly on his ass. Kurt leaned back with his hands clasped behind Jeff's neck.

"I could get used to this" he said with a smile.

"I hope so" Jeff replied. "We should get going. You look amazing by the way. I don't understand why you are dressed like this but you look sexy."

Reluctantly, they got in the car and headed to Jeff's house.

"Kurt I was really proud of your conduct today. Two kills in your first campaign is really good. And your execution of the scape goat maneuver was flawless. It really helped us take the flag."

"Well four kills with four shots is pretty amazing. I didn't know you were such a sharp shooter."

"Five. I marked the commander after you went down. But as well as things went today, you're going to need more training before our next campaign. I'm going to be moving you to Bravo team but don't worry, I'll train you, I won't leave that to Nick. He's a good team leader though."

"Jeff, I promised to help you out today but I'm not in your squad. There is no next time. You have a month to find someone else so I'm sure there is some young marine wanna be that would be a much better fit. It was an experience, really but I don't want to repeat it. I didn't understand half of what the guys said to me even though I'm sure they were being nice, it just isn't my thing."

Jeff looked crestfallen.

"OK."

"OK? Come please don't be mad at me. We don't have to do everything together. I promise I won't drag you to get mani-pedis and you promise not to make me shoot people."

"I'm not mad. I'm just disappointed because I shared something really important to me with you. I had hoped you'd enjoy it but really it's OK. It isn't my life just something I enjoy doing. One of many things and we'll do other things together. In fact, tonight you're going to meet my family and that's something I sure you'll enjoy."

"I just hope they like me." Even though we aren't telling them I'm your boyfriend.

"They'll love you because you're awesome."