Author's Note: Surprise! Since I'll be out tomorrow for most of the day and wouldn't be able to post the new chapter at the usual time, I decided to post it a day earlier.
This was supposed to be the last chapter, but I somehow felt that something was still missing, so one more chapter will come next week. It's not a happy one either, but I hope you'll still like it.


Chapter Three

His words surprised her, she hadn't expected to hear that. She knew what he meant, she saw it in his eyes, it looked as if he'd given up, given up on them. She wasn't ready to give up on him. Not after their first serious fight about such a stupid topic. She'd said some things to him in the heat of the argument, but she didn't mean those, she didn't want him to go. She decided to try to turn back the conversation, hoping it wasn't too late yet.

"Do what?" she asked fearing his reply.

"Worry about you."

She was actually relieved to hear this, it convinced her that there was still hope they could discuss it without serious consequences.

"Then don't, I'm fine. I'll go to sleep in time tonight, and we won't even remember this tomorrow."

"We will, I will."

She knew they wouldn't have been able to forget the fight that easily, but she wished they could have solved this conflict. She already hated the awkwardness between them, she knew it was time for them to talk. She wished they could have postponed the talk for one more day though, but his eyes doubted that they had one more day at all, so she had to make an effort. She didn't want him to think it wasn't important to her.

"We've talked about this before, I know my boundaries. You really should try and stop worrying about me."

She knew she was telling him that in vain. It was in his nature to worry about her, and if she had had to choose between him worrying about her, or giving up on her she would definitely have chosen the former. She didn't want to change him, she just wanted to make it easier for him.

"Your work is almost eating you up, don't you see it?"

"It's just been a rough time, it happens."

"It's been too long. How much longer can you go on like this?"

She'd felt exhausted during the last weeks, but she always had the strength to go on, because she had to go on. She was unable to slow down, she considered that as a sign of weakness. Something she wasn't willing to show, not even to him. Of course it was almost impossible to hide anything from him.

"I'm sure it will get better eventually."

"It will only get better if you do something about it, but to me it seems like you don't want to do anything about it."

"You honestly want me to leave everything behind and go on a vacation with you?"

"It's not about the vacation, it's about your health."

"I'll see a doctor," she offered just to reassure him she was taking him seriously. She might as well tell him she went later without actually going.

"Really?"

It was to be expected he wouldn't believe it so easily.

"Yes."

"Fine, because I'd hate to remind you of what happened to Jonas Stern."

She was caught off guard with that reply. She remembered talking about Stern's death with him, how she told him she didn't want to die like that. And for a while she actually made an effort to slow down just a little. Of course it didn't take long and she got back to her old routine. It wasn't really fair of him to remind her of that. Jonas's death was still a sore spot for her. But it worried her even more that Kurt was comparing her situation to his.

"I'm not dying, I'm just tired, let's not exaggerate, shall we?"

"How do you know? When was the last time you saw a doctor?"

"I told you I'd go to a doctor, what more do you want from me?"

"Nothing," he said bowing his head down again.

"Was that all then?" she asked in the hope that they could finally stop arguing for that night.

"Yes," he said and stood up, "I'd love to take a walk, need to get some fresh air. Wanna come?"

She wanted to say yes, but she still didn't feel strong enough to get up, and she didn't want to disclose it to him.

"I'd rather stay and take a nap."

"Ok," he said then walked up to her and kissed her forehead.

When he left the room she started wondering what this could have meant. The awkwardness was still there, even though she thought they'd discussed everything that had been on his mind. But now she started to wonder if there was something else, something he hadn't said, something she should have seen.

Somewhere along the way they stopped talking to each other. They always spent time together, but in the last weeks it didn't mean much more than being together physically. And she knew it was her fault.

It was time for her to realise that at this rate it wasn't only her health that was in danger, but their relationship as well. He'd almost given up on them that night. I can't do this any more. His words still echoed in her head. He was a patient man, but she started to fear if she didn't change something soon, she'd loose him. She didn't want that to happen, but apparently she wasn't capable of changing herself either. She'd tried, and it had worked for a while, but she got back to her old routine, almost forgetting that she wasn't alone any more.

She could go on like this with the risk of loosing him or change with the risk of loosing herself. At that moment she didn't see a silver lining, but she was too tired to think properly anyway. She closed her eyes, and curled up on the couch in the hope that she'd see things differently by the time she woke up, and that he would still be there.