Original air date: January 29, 2005

Cold Open: "The Eric Cartman 'Am I Too Sloshed To Take It?' Test"

Song performed: "Isn't Life Strange (1989 version)"- Moody Blues

Summary: Eric and Goombella enter still with bags over their heads. After confirming that the losers of tomorrow's Super Bowl will be on the show next week, Eric announces that he is seeking an intern for 'Area Man'. But the way the executives want him to find one leaves a lot to be desired: People will send in sexually explicit stories (known in the fanfiction world as lemons) and the one who writes the best wins. So while Eric fantasizes about Wendy Testaburger, Goombella sorts through some real bad stories, including the Manabeast (a giant, fat bear) kissing a Wendy cardboard-cutout and Misaki Suzuhara forced to fondle Sasami Jurai.

20,000 stories (not one of them involving Eric/Wendy) later, Goombella has Eric read a letter from her Paper Mario penpal Vivian, who is one of 3 sisters. Eric surprises Goombella by agreeing to bring in Vivian for an audition, while Milk-Chan offers her own story involving Bebe Stevens, Kari Kamiya, and Yuki Aoyama. But once Eric realizes he has just sent the internship contract to Vivian via "Blue's Clues'" Mailbox, he lashes out on Goombella.

Meanwhile, at the residence of the 'Shadow Sirens' in Twilight Town, Vivian receives the internship contract and gets excited. She soon leaves for South Park… without her sisters Beldam and Marilyn.

In South Park, while Bebe cries over the 3-way lemon story made by Milk-Chan, Mailbox gives Eric Vivian's response: She'll be in South Park by tomorrow. Eric hires "Butters" to look out for her, while Goombella sets up the finale to the story contest: a game show!

At the train station, "Butters" sees Vivian, worn out after being forced into a bull rodeo to pay for the trip. But when "Professor Chaos" emerges, Vivian leaves him at the station and heads for Eric's house. Once she arrives, she is happy to see Goombella and Eric, and signs the contract. Eric promises Vivian he will not tell her sisters about this mistake if she submits to her will, and "Butters" reappears… only to be punished by his parents.

The final round of the story contest begins between Milk-Chan and Taichi Kamiya, as they play a Showcase-bidding game like "The Price is Right". In it, they attempt to guess how many sexual situations are in a montage. But since Vivian had already received the contract, Eric and Goombella hoses both Milk and Tai by having them both lose the game. "Isn't Life Strange" plays as the credits roll.