A/N - Claimed by kirin_saga on LJ

x-x-x

"Find it yet?" Springer called out, surreptitiously checking his restraints.

Vortex turned to give his prisoner a glare.

Springer gave him his best smile. "Just asking."

Turning away, Vortex went back to digging through his equipment, muttering to himself.

"Take your time," Springer told him. "I'm not in a hurry."

Vortex's rotors twitched back in irritation. "I tell them, stay out of my stuff. Is that so fragging hard?" he muttered, ignoring Springer.

"Apparently," Springer answered anyway.

Vortex growled and picked up a scalpel. "Not what I was looking for." He held up the tool. "But it'll do in a pinch."

"If you'd prefer to reschedule, I have some time free next Tuesday," Springer offered. His voice was light, but he eyed the scalpel with trepidation.

"Scared, Springer?" Vortex purred, trailing the scalpel up his leg armor.

"Just offering. Always striving to be polite, that's me," he said, trying to ignore the sharp sting from the scalpel. "Do you mind? That's ticklish."

"You have no idea how long I've been waiting to get a hold of you," Vortex continued pleasantly, scraping little designs into Springer's armor. "I've been thinking all sorts of things we can do together-"

"He has, too. On and on and on..." Brawl said, shoving the door open and stomping inside. "Fragger never shuts up."

"What- BRAWL!" Vortex straightened, turning toward the door. "What the frag do you want?"

"Just needin' to borrow a knife." He headed for Vortex's tools. "Blast Off's whining about somethin' or other needin' trimming."

"Tell him to go bother someone else, because my equipment is not communal property!"

"Do you two need some time alone? Because I could leave..." Springer offered from the table.

"No one else to bother," Brawl pointed out. "We got one of those, whatchacallit, satellite bases."

"I don't care! Bother Onslaught about it!"

"He's not back yet," Brawl told him, reaching for the tool case again, only to find a scalpel pointed at his optic. "Hey! What's that for?"

"If you don't leave, I'm gonna give you a knife, right between the optics!" Vortex snapped, still brandishing the scalpel.

"Why didn't you do that in the first place instead of standin' around yappin'? I've got better things to do than watch you throw tantrums," Brawl said, either missing or ignoring the threat.

Probably missing it, Springer reflected, lifting his head to watch the spat.

Vortex's rotors twitched. Then he chucked the scalpel at Brawl, burying the tip in his shoulder armor.

"Ow! That fraggin' hurt!" Brawl yanked the blade out, fingering the shallow cut. "Slagger."

"Out!" Vortex demanded.

"Fine," Brawl growled, turning for the day. "Fraggin' crazy glitch-processored-" The door closed on the string of insults.

Springer grinned as Vortex stood there, rotors spasming. "Family time?"

Vortex turned to glare at him. "Terribly sorry, where were we?" Silky menace filled his voice.

"You were losing your scalpel again," Springer told him cheerfully. He really shouldn't be entertained by the way Vortex twitched at that, but he was. Put it down to a twisted sense of humor, he thought, giving Vortex his best innocent smile.

The helicopter's engine growled, turning back to his tool case.

Springer valiantly managed to refrain from laughing.

Sparing him a glare, Vortex picked out a new scalpel, grumbling to himself.

"Vortex, we have a problem," Blast Off's smooth voice broke in over the comm a moment later.

Vortex buried his face in his hands, unmindful of the blade that came within a finger's width of stabbing him in the optic. "What now?"

"The Autobots have captured Onslaught and Swindle. They're demanding we return Springer in exchange for our idiot companions."

"What? No! I just got him!" Vortex knew he was whining, but he didn't care. "Do you have any idea how long I've been-"

"Pining over him? Yes, I've noticed. The entire Decepticon fleet has noticed," Blast Off told him dryly.

"No." Vortex folded his arms petulantly. "I won't do it."

"I'll be sure to let Onslaught know your opinion on the matter. Now hurry up and get him ready to transport."

"Who died an' made you boss?" Vortex muttered after the comm clicked off.

"My guess would have been Onslaught, but apparently he was just captured," Springer told him cheerfully.

Vortex looked over at him, rotors wilting. "But... Slaggit..." Disappointment radiated off the helicopter as he snapped cuffs on Springer and started undoing the table restraints.

If it wasn't for the fact that what Vortex wanted to do probably included carving him into tiny pieces and certainly included a great deal of pain, Springer would have almost felt sorry for him.

...Almost.