She awoke in the same spot that she had passed out in, and the sun that found its way to her closed eyelids was causing her pain. She groaned and felt her tongue against the roof of her mouth, it felt thick and fuzzy and barely like a human tongue at all. She knew if she moved her head it would cause bright spikes of pain. She had once seen the artwork done by migraine sufferers, and there was one where the woman's face was coming apart like shards of a broken mirror. That is how her head would feel if she moved it.

She shouldn't be drinking so much. It was always making her sick. The person in their little group that she truly envied in this regard was Sheldon, because he so rarely drank. He didn't need the artificial warmth and happiness it could provide. He didn't feel the intense pleasure at the sight of a full glass of wine or a cocktail swirling in on its own colors.

She had to move. She lifted her head and groaned again, the pain coming in pulses. Maybe it followed her heartbeat, every beat of her heart shot pain into her head. She made the promises she always made, maybe to the God she had imagined as a little girl going to church amid the scorching corn fields, maybe to her inner being, her better self. She promised she would never drink again, never, never, never. She wouldn't drink and she wouldn't sneak a cigarette on her break at work and she wouldn't eat the left over cheesecake that was sitting on the greasy card table in the back room at work, and she wouldn't gorge herself on the pizza and chinese food that Leonard and Sheldon bought. She would be her best self, starting now.

She stood up and swayed, the sun shooting piercing little daggers at her eyes and the soft exposed places of her flesh. She needed water and coffee and bread, a bagel or an English muffin, something to absorb all the excess alcohol.

She poured herself a full glass of water and forced herself to drink it, it tasted like metal. She toasted an English muffin and smeared it with butter, took a bite. It was Monday, her day off. She had the whole day to herself, until Leonard would arrive home from work and invade her day. She remembered what Amy had told her about Sheldon and wondered if she would break up with him today.

She thought about breaking up with Leonard. She had done it before. It wasn't right, or maybe she just couldn't figure out what was wrong. She shook her head, blond waves and curls bouncing around her cheeks. What was wrong?

Hours later the hangover had dissipated, and she showered and got dressed just like she was a normal person. She wouldn't drink today, even though the thought had crawled into her brain the second the hangover released its hold on her. She wouldn't drink because she didn't want to feel like spun glass tomorrow morning. She wouldn't drink because she thought that Amy might try and break Sheldon's heart and she wanted to be clear headed it he came to her. It would be either her or Leonard, if he had sufficient self awareness to know that he was hurt. He might not. She remembered that when his friendship with Amy had ended a few years ago he had bought a million cats and called it a day.

She drank more water and it had begun to lose that metallic taste. She thought staying hydrated was a good idea. She watched T.V. despite thinking she should clean. Cleaning was boring, but she liked being in a clean space. How much was the T-shirt clinging to the arm of the couch really bothering her? How much was the dishes that had piled up in the sink really bothering her? How much was her rumpled, unmade bed bothering her?

When her phone rang she knew it was Leonard before she looked.

"Hello?" she said.

"Hi, it's me. Want to do Indian tonight?" he said, and she thought of the lamb vindaloo and nan and wondered if it was nutritious as well as delicious.

"Sure, sounds great," she said, and she hung up and went back to watching T.V. and not cleaning, and thinking just one glass of wine wouldn't kill her, and wondering if Amy was going to tell Sheldon tonight or some other night.

Leonard knocked at her door but she had heard him coming up the stairs. She opened the door and saw Leonard with the take-out bags in hand, and Raj and Howard were behind him. She smiled at the little bag from McDonald's that Raj held, his preferred meal when the choice was Indian.

"Where's Sheldon?" she said, inhaling the aroma of the Indian curry spices, her mouth starting to water.

"He said he was going over to Amy's tonight," Leonard said, juggling the bags while he fumbled for the apartment key.

"Really? On a Monday night?" Penny said. Everyone knew that Sheldon and Amy's date night was Thursday.

"Yeah, weird, right?" Leonard said, getting the apartment door open and narrowly avoiding dropping all of the bags in his hands.

"Yeah," Penny said, knowing that it would be tonight. Amy had asked him over there like an innocent little lamb being lead to the slaughter.

It was all she could think about as she ate her vindaloo with basmatti rice and downed two glasses of water in the process. She had never had Indian food before the day she met Sheldon and Leonard, she hadn't known such spicy and exotic food existed. As she bit into her nan bread, still somehow spicy even though it was just bread, she wondered what Amy was saying to Sheldon at that moment.