Chapter 3


She still looked cold. Ahsoka rubbed her hands together and breathed on them again. Anakin stood close to her, his blue eyes focused on her shivering form. No signs of hypothermia, thankfully, but that didn't mean much to either of them.

She glanced up when her master draped a blanket over her. "Thank you," she tugged the fabric closer to her body, snuggling into the warmth.

"No problem, Snips," he turned away before sitting down on the couch next to her.

He turned on a holo, some old drama show about a wealthy family on Coruscant. Neither of them really seemed to be watching it anyways. Something dropped onto Anakin's shoulder and he startled, glancing down at the Togruta. Her head leaned against his shoulder as she dozed quietly. He stared at her, his eyes tracing over her white markings again and again until he had them memorized. They would change one day, morph into different shapes and patterns.

Ahsoka abruptly lurched forward, gasping for air as she clutched at her chest. A visible shudder shook her body and she planted her hands on either side of her. Anakin placed a hand on her shoulder, but her focus remained on something in the distance. Something he couldn't see.

The human Jedi rounded so he was facing Ahsoka and placed a hand on either one of her shoulders. "Ahsoka?" he said in a soft voice, his eyes searching hers.

Her gaze eventually zoned in on him. "Anakin..." his name fell from her mouth, vulnerable and alone.

He tugged her against him and she melted into his grasp. "I'm sorry," she said, a newfound strength in her voice.

She attempted to pull away, but Anakin just held her tighter. They stayed like that for a few minutes until she finally moved back. Instead of releasing her though, Anakin placed his forehead against hers. "I should've been there," he said with his eyes closed.

"You still saved me, Skyguy," she replied with a hint of chuckle in her voice. "Seems like you're always doing that, huh?"

Anakin laughed, still refusing to let her go. Every time he let her go, she got hurt. She playfully shoved him and he finally eased his eyes open. "Stop being such a sap," she laughed gently, but didn't pull their foreheads away.

"Do you want to..." Anakin was never good with feelings or helping others feel better. Empathy and sympathy didn't come easily to him. "Talk about it?"

This time, she burst out into laughter and leaned her head back against the couch. They sat on the floor, only inches away from each other. "I think-" she heaved in a breath of air and tried to calm her giggles. "I think I'll just meditate on it, Anakin."

"Oh," Anakin's flash of disappointment startled both him and his Padawan.

She stared at him, her head slightly tilted. He returned her look. "I..." she turned away with a slight blush. "Will you meditate with me?"

He nodded.


How did they end up in this position? Anakin remembered their accidental meditation aboard the ship and he found this situation similar. Except now, they were willingly entering a meditative state like this. And now, their hands were clasped and their foreheads pressed together, but Anakin had never felt more peaceful.

His force signature meshed with Ahsoka's in a way he'd never experienced before. Like the first time they bonded, she was overwhelming, such a strong part of the Force around them. He found himself enraptured by it. Connected to it. She breathed softly right in front of him, but the sound might as well as been a million miles away.

This was way too intimate, he realized. But he didn't mind and Ahsoka didn't seem to mind either. Besides, this was just meditation.

And he felt more at ease than he'd ever been. He felt safe in a way he'd only felt with his mother. But he also sensed Ahsoka's turmoil and trauma. He reached out into her signature, kneading at it and relaxing it like a massage therapist might do to muscles. The intensity in her light softened as she leaned into him.

He needed this. He inhaled sharply at the realization that he would become dependent on this form of relaxation. Words from Obi-Wan, his brother, could only assuage so much. Comfort from Padme, his sister, could only soothe for a moment. But this... It felt like screaming into a void, releasing all of that tension. Despite how wrong this probably would be considered in the eyes of the Council, it felt so right.

They both emerged from their deep mediation at the same time, gasping in deep breaths of air. Ahsoka gripped his hands tighter and whispered a quiet thanks. Her fingers were freezing, he noticed, but her face was warm. Neither of them moved. "We should probably go to sleep," she breathed out, her words barely loud enough to be heard.

"Yeah."

Ahsoka pulled back her first, her expression sheepish. She released one of his hands and he found himself grasping at the empty air momentarily. She scratched her cheek, "I don't really want to go to bed... Alone..."

He gave her words a few moments to sink in before standing. The thought of returning to his own bed, alone and cold, after what he just experienced filled him with dread. They stood together and he interlaced their fingers. "You don't have to."


They didn't fall asleep for a few more hours. Anakin and Ahsoka laid next to each other, their hands tangled underneath the sheets as they talked about... Everything... The mediation left him open and vulnerable. He shared stories about his life as a slave, about his experiences as a Padawan. Ahsoka admitted that she she used to get bullied by the other younglings because she was more advanced than them.

"Really?" Anakin looked down at her, but he couldn't really see her in the dark. She could probably see him better with her Togruta eyes.

She nodded and buried her face in her pillow, "It's one of the reasons Barriss and I are so close. She was one of my only friends."

His free fingers grazed her cheek and she leaned into her touch. "Well, I doubt those other younglings are as far in their Padawan training as you."

Ahsoka's quiet laugh filled the room. "Yeah, I guess you're right... Sorry, my childhood problems are so petty compared to yours."

Anakin let his fingers trail across her montrals and lekku, "No, your problems are just a valid as mine. It's not a competition and different situation affect people differently."

"You should write self-help articles," she teased and he chuckled before rolling onto his back.

A moment of silence passed between them before he turned back to her, "What would you be doing if you weren't a Jedi?"

She didn't respond and he wondered if she'd fallen asleep. After a few seconds, her quiet voice filled the room. "I don't know honestly. I'd probably be a farmer on Shili."

Ahsoka didn't ask him to answer the question because they both knew the answer. Her freezing hand settled against his cheek before she carded her fingers through his hair. He settled into her touch, a memory of his mother doing the same thing to him when he was a boy rising to the surface. A low noise escaped from her and he realized that Ahsoka was humming. The tune was unfamiliar to him, but it sounded distinctly like a lullaby.

He didn't know when he fell asleep, but when he did, she was still by his side.