Listening To: You Found Me-Kelly Clarkson, Watch Me Shine-Vanessa Carlton
"Remus!" Both our heads snapped in the direction of the approaching James. I sighed with relief that I didn't have to endure Remus' shocked face any longer.
"Remus we have a problem with the M.A.P.," James told Remus, glancing once at me.
I raised an eyebrow and couldn't hold back a smile; "Well I'll leave you boys to your toys."
"No! Mira wait!" Remus made to get up and follow me away from the couches but James held him back and sat him back down.
"Seriously Remus, we have a problem, I can't find Peter on it!" James told Remus, not noticing Remus' determination to get away from him.
I collected my satchel and books from my dorm and made quickly to the library, hoping to maybe get in an hour of homework before it closed.
However, as I took a seat at the back of the library and set out all my books to begin my Defence essay, I knew I was not going to get any homework done. I slammed my head on the desk numerous times before I let my mind replay the whole conversation. I couldn't suppress a light chuckle at the irony. Since finding out about Remus all I had thought about was how stupid it would sound to just come out and say it, but I never thought I would actually say it as casually as I did.
I picked up my textbook and gave my forehead another good whack before I dipped my quill in the inkbottle and sat with it hovering over my parchment, not having the slightest idea what to write.
x S x
"Jenny!" I whispered hoarsely at one in the morning. After spending pretty much all the time since getting into bed counting the number of squashed flies on the ceiling, I thought it would be good for me to tell someone.
"…Wha?" she mumbled pathetically, half sitting up and half falling off the bed.
"I told him!" I whispered through my hangings to the sleepy-looking lump on Jenny's bed.
"…Who?"
"Remus!"
"Wha bout im?"
"Oh never mind," I fell back onto my bed and ignored Jenny's last mumbles before she grunted and fell back to sleep.
x S x
I adjusted my satchel with a yawn and made a pathetic attempt to keep my eyes open, though my attempts were hopeless and I knocked into a small first year, who yelped in fright and ran off.
"You can be so cruel, you know that?" Jenny laughed as she watched the first year scuttle round the corner.
I rubbed my eyes but didn't reply.
"Have you seen him yet?" Jenny asked as she produced an apple from her satchel and bit into it.
I shook my head.
"Are you planning on seeing him?"
I shook my head.
"Why?"
I shrugged.
"Are you going to owl your mum and tell her?"
I shook my head.
"You know you might as well be mute?" Jenny asked, irritably.
I smiled despite myself, "What am I supposed to say? I don't want to see him because he probably thinks I'm an obsessed maniac who wishes he were my brother so much that I actually believe he is. And there's no point in owling mum right now because what is there to tell? That I told him and he stared at me like I had just suggested having a baby with him?"
"He really looked at you like that?" Jenny asked, sniggering.
I rolled my eyes.
We walked into the Great Hall for lunch and took our seats at our usual spot. I picked a green apple from the bowl and took out my book for the day. I opened it to my bookmark and bit into my apple.
"When are you going to stop reading at the table? You know it's bad manners!" Jenny imitated my dad, making me splutter and laugh. She grinned.
"Mira?"
We both looked up at Remus, as he stood awkwardly behind Jenny, not sure if he should sit down or not. He had large bags under his eyes and my heart went out to him when I saw how pale he looked.
"Yes?" I asked, sounding calmer than I actually felt.
"Er…I was wondering…" he began, slipping one hand into his pocket and rubbing his forehead with the other, "if it's convenient for you, would you mind meeting me in the common room tonight at seven? I think we need to…discuss things."
I nodded, "Yes, that's fine. I'll see you at seven then."
"…Right," Remus nodded, and with a look of finality he left us to join his friends further down the table.
"Maybe he does want to have a baby after all," Jenny smirked, making me chuck my apple at her.
x S x
I nibbled on my bookmark nervously, not sure if I should pass time by staring at the fire, or if I should risk looking seriously obsessed and stare at the portrait hole.
Feeling I should make an impression of being just as good as Remus, I turned up ten minutes early, however it felt like an hour early to me.
I brought my knees up to my chin and continued nibbling on my bookmark, barely noticing that I hadn't kept my page in my book.
I sighed pathetically and glanced about the room. Oddly enough barely anyone was around. I presumed the majority of the Gryffindors were still down at dinner.
Out of the silence of the common room I heard the portrait hole creek open and my eyes snapped to attention. I frowned and looked back at the fire as a second year girl with pigtails walked in.
"Hello Mira." My head snapped round to find Remus at the bottom of the boys' staircase. Did the boy think eating was above him or something?
He sat down across from me and began rubbing and clapping his hands together. I considered offering my bookmark to him but thought better of it. It was my bookmark. No silly boy is getting my bookmark.
"So…" he began.
"Yeah…" I helped him along and crossed my legs on my couch, deciding to let him take the lead.
Remus covered his face with his fidgety hands and then rubbed his eyes. After a few seconds, he forced himself to look at me. "Can we…. can we sort things out?" he asked pathetically and rather hoarsely.
I shrugged and nodded, sticking to my idea of him doing the leading.
He looked at his mucky shoes once before taking a deep breath and diving right into it, "What you said last night. I have to know, were you being serious?"
I stared at him. Was he on heroin or something? "Of course I was being serious! It's not like I go about telling random guys they're my half brother!" I snapped.
Remus covered his face with his hands again, his knees bouncing up and down in his nervousness.
I sighed and took pity in the boy. "Look you're obviously not about to say anything any time soon so I'll start," I said confidently, silently wondering when the hell I started being confident. "My dad found a picture of you as a baby in my mum's cupboard this summer and so the whole thing spilled out. Mum sat me down told me how she gave you up and blah di blah… she told me that she misses you and would really like to get in touch with you."
Remus stared at me. He blinked. "You're really my sister?" he asked stupidly.
"Half sister," I corrected him.
"And my mum is really your mum?"
"Yes."
"I've never had a sister before," Remus commented softly, a smile creeping onto his face.
"You have a brother as well," I pointed out. "Josh."
"Josh…" Remus rubbed his stubbly chin thoughtfully. "You said he's turning five in three weeks?"
I raised my eyebrows, "You remembered?"
Remus nodded, not really paying attention. I growled inwardly, the smarty-pants still managed to be smart during such an earth-shaking topic.
"I…I suppose…well…" he dropped his hand from his chin and stared at me, his eyes searching mine, "are you going home for his birthday?"
I nodded slowly, not liking where this was going.
"Well…would I be too forward if I were to ask if I could come along?" he looked genuinely anxious to hear my answer. I smirked inwardly as he sat on the edge of his seat, his knees ceased to bounce and his hands were clasped tightly on his lap.
I opened my mouth to say something, but my voice betrayed me. The evil part of me rose up, trying to convince me that Josh didn't like strangers…
I closed my eyes and sighed. I rubbed my temples furiously, trying to shut that blasted voice up. "I'll owl mum," I heard myself say.
x S x
"He wants what?"
"He wants to come home with me for Josh's birthday," I told Jenny for the tenth time.
I took my seat at breakfast and smiled when my barn owl, Bird, landed next to me. "Morning Bird," I smiled and took the Daily Prophet from his claws. I took the letter out of my bag and hesitated slightly before clipping it to his feet and saying, "Take this to mum, okay? Not dad, he'll go ballistic if he reads it."
Bird chirped cheerily and nipped my finger, before taking flight and disappearing out the window again.
"Tell me again why you named that thing Bird?" Jenny sniggered, scooping some porridge into her mouth.
I shrugged, "Josh was so keen on Bird so I let him name him."
Jenny sipped her pumpkin juice and shrugged, accepting my excuse. "What do you think your mum will say?" she asked.
"She'll be ecstatic and want him over immediately," I told her. "But dad. I'm not sure about him. I doubt he'll even allow the name Remus in the house, never mind the actual guy."
"Well that sucks," Jenny replied. "I don't suppose I have to ask what Josh will think?"
I shrugged, "You know what he was like around you. He's shy. I don't know if it would be safe telling him who Remus was or to just wait."
Jenny shrugged, "I think Josh would like Remus."
I frowned and finished eating my breakfast before we headed for class.
x S x
Dear Mira,
That's wonderful! I'm so glad you told him Mi! I have yet to talk the situation over with dad but I'm sure he will be delighted to have Remus over too!
Although you might want to make sure Remus has permission from his dad just to ensure things will run smoothly.
With love,
Mum
I frowned down at the letter and bit into my toast, taking all my anger out on the burnt edges in my mouth. "What did she say?" Jenny asked me.
"She said he can come over," I told her, the bitterness obvious in my voice. "She hasn't told dad yet but thinks he'll be 'delighted'," I rolled my eyes.
"When are you going to talk to him about it then?" Jenny asked, smearing some marmalade onto her toast and licking her fingers.
"Might as well tell him now," I sighed and got my feet.
"Well better hurry; bell's about to go," Jenny told me with a smile.
I trudged down the isle until I found myself standing behind Sirius and James, facing Remus and Peter. Sirius was joking about some prank he and James pulled on a couple of Slytherins, and obviously didn't see me until Remus stopped laughing and stared at me.
"Er…." I began, feeling suddenly exposed to the boys. I tucked the letter into the pocket of my robes and tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear. "M-mum says you can visit," I said eventually, watching Sirius and James turn to look at Remus in confusion, and I smiled slightly at the look of pure happiness that took over Remus' face. Peter glanced between all of us, confused as to what was going on.
Remus grinned at me, "Brilliant. I'll write to my dad and make sure it's okay."
I was about to say that…smarty-pants…
A/N- Sorry for the long wait folks but I'm off school until next Tuesday so i should get more updating done. I've been a bit busy with Define Love, but I finally updated that as well so check that out too lol I'm a third done in updating Your Kitty and I'm thinking about updating A Family Secret too so keep a look out! Read and Review! Xx
