Author's Note: You know, this has been sitting on my computer for months now and I didn't even realize I hadn't posted it here! Guess that goes to show you that I need to actually check things like this every now and again. I hope you like!
"I don't…think I can do this anymore."
The look on Beth's face as she opens the door reminds me a lot of that night almost a year ago when she almost ended our relationship before it had even really begun. Without a word, she gestures for me to enter our apartment. I step inside, taking a quick survey of the area. Nothing is broken, though it is a bit more messy than usual.
I take a seat in my chair. She goes to the kitchen and pours us both drinks, still saying nothing. When she sets mine in front of me, I'm surprised it doesn't crack from the force of the glass hitting the surface. Okay, so maybe she's a little bit more upset than she was then. I don't touch the blood she so silently offered. I can't even look at her. Instead, my eyes focus on a random spot on the floor.
"I didn't call you back so we could quietly have a drink together, Mick," Beth finally says.
Why is it that you can always think of the right things to say before facing a person, but when she's right in front of you, you can't seem to form the words? I know I should say something, but words fail me.
She makes a sound of exasperation. "You always do this, you know. You say you want to talk, and then, y-you just sit there." The irritation comes through and I finally look at her. I see the face of a desperate woman at wits end. "What do you want me to do? There's no denying it. We've been having problems for a while now, and no matter what I do, I can't make it all go away without at least some help from you."
I reach for the glass of A positive and take a drink, once again looking away from her. "I said I was sorry, and I still am." Taking a deep breath, I continue, "I understand relationships are hard, in general, and that means that relationships between vampires and humans are even harder. It doesn't matter how I feel about you, we both have a pretty good idea of the few ways this is going to eventually end. You deserve much better than me, Beth."
"What are you saying?" Her words are clipped and devoid of emotion.
I set my glass down and meet her gaze, holding it. "There are so many things that I can't give you…and others that I don't think I'm willing to give you," I tell her, pausing a moment before adding, "because it would take something I see as far more precious away from you. But you constantly put yourself in danger, and I don't want to see what little time we have together cut short. There are moments I think I can do this, but then there are others—like right now—that I wonder if I really can."
A tear rolls down Beth's cheek and she breaks eye contact. Now it's her turn to say nothing. We sit there for a long time before her voice comes barely above a whisper, "Me, too."
Now that I've started, I can't stop watching her. "Did you mean it? When you told me never to come back?"
Slowly, she nods. "Yes, I did. It just seems like every little thing that just barely puts me in harm's way starts a fight with you."
"Barely in harm's way? You were—" I stop myself short. This is how things ended last time. "Sometimes, I wonder if you do it intentionally."
A teasing smile spreads across her face. "What can I say? You look so sexy when you're annoyed."
I can't help it. A laugh bubbles to the surface. Then the tears come. It wasn't until this moment that I realized how much I don't want to lose her. Without hesitating, she comes over, taking my hands in hers and looking into my eyes—into my soul. I move my right hand up to her cheek and wipe away the moisture that has gathered there. "It's just so hard sometimes. I love you, but what if this just keeps getting worse? What if we can't—?"
Her finger over my mouth effectively stops me. She shifts forward, taking my face in her hands and pressing her lips to mine. Electricity sparks through my body just as it did the first time we kissed. I moan into her lips, pulling her closer. Before long she's sitting in my lap with her forehead against mine. "Mick St. John, you are the most impossible man—human or vampire—that I have ever met."
"And look who's talking," I reply with a soft chuckle.
She smiles, an expression that lights up her entire face. "Remember what you said that night? 'This is about how we feel about each other, right here, right now.'" She pauses, pulling back a bit to look at me. "You're still right." She pushes at my hair with a tender look in her eyes. "I love you. You love me. That is all that really matters. It's hard sometimes, I know, but I know we can work together to make this happen."
I can only stare, lost in those beautiful blue eyes. She's silent for a moment, but soon continues, "I know, sometimes I feel like I'm on one side of eternity staring at you on the other across this wide canyon that I know neither one of us can cross safely. But the more time we have together, the more I feel like that canyon is becoming more of a crack… The more I think that maybe there isn't such a large gap between life and forever, and even if there is, we've somehow managed to bridge it in order to be together."
Her words warm my heart and I hold her close. She is more right than she knows. For months before our relationship even began, I felt exactly like that. It was the constant reminder. She was human, I was a vampire, and it could never work between us because of that. But as time passed, I realized that that hazy line between us wasn't as big as I'd once thought. I am thankful for that, and I am happy that she helped me to finally realize it. Yes, we have our problems, but we can make things work out between us simply because of how we feel about one another. Holding her in my arms again, I am grateful that Josef made me call her. Yes, I think as she stands and takes my hand to lead me up to the bedroom, I am very grateful.
Okay, so I know I sort of left it hanging, but it's really quite difficult to see how this would go since the series ended so early. The whole point of this is that for the time being, they're willing to deal with the fact that they love each other now. It just seemed like how they were on the end of the show. I hope that made sense, and I hope I stayed in character with these two. Please review! It makes me feel good about my writing.
