Author's Note- You don't have to read this. I know it sucks. So, whatever. Guess who's talking?
I can't believe she would do this to me.
I thought she was my friend. She said she was. Would a friend do this to me? Make me cry until I couldn't stand another tear? Me, a kid who never cries?
A stupid text ruined me whole day. She didn't even bother calling me to tell me. I guess I'm not the greatest person in the world, but I never thought it was possible to feel so worthless. I have done things that most people only dream of doing, but I don't really care about that. I want someone I can count on… besides my family, anyway.
I miss summer. Winter ruins everything. Winter is dead. Snow is blank, and becomes a weapon as soon as the ice sets in. The skies are dark, and the sun is slacking off. I miss the sun.
I know what they call me, you know. I'm not oblivious, the way I pretend to be, absorbed in my books and music. I know what they think of me. I'm a nerd, a loser, and a freak. I think I'm so smart, but I'm really just lying to myself- not to mention everyone else.
What happened to me anyway? What happened that made me so different? I know, I know, I'm better than them… but I'm not, am I? Anyway, she's still got the power to make me hurt, so I guess I'm still not as strong as I wish I was. I put up armor, a wall of paper, and oblivion, and lies… how did she get past it?
I let her in at the gates. I thought she would never hurt me. How stupid am I? Everyone will hurt you, if you let them get to close.
Maybe I should stop letting people in. Isolation can drive you crazy, but it hurts less than this. I mean, who really needs friends, if they just want to play with you and then throw you on the ground to be crushed?
I don't want to do anything. I don't even want to think. I don't want to leave my room. I don't trust that someone won't hurt me again. I'm too worthless to have friends. Stupid, lazy, annoying people don't have friends. I'm too much of an idiot to trust. I have been taken advantage of, played like a violin, and plain messed with to many times to count.
I am pathetic, aren't I? Sorry about making you listen to my pity party. You probably don't want to.
Go away. Stop reading this. I just want to be left alone.
