Castiel avoided the café again.
It wasn't like he didn't want to talk to Dean, but he just couldn't explain to him why he had rushed out the door so fast after Dean had helped him.
The fight Dean had had with Rachel triggered some old memories in Castiel that he would rather not remember, and he didn't feel safe in that woman's presence. Her hatred towards angels was very strong. He wondered what could possibly have caused such hatred in her in the first place. Dean had always accepted who and what he was, but it seemed that others just didn't.
Maybe he wasn't meant to be friends with a human. It always ended up bad in the end anyway.
Instead, Castiel tried to concentrate on his work and to please Zachariah by working extra hard. Maybe that would earn him a few days off, if he was lucky. Mostly he just wanted to work to get his mind off of things, even though the work was hard on his body.
His back and wings were always aching when he came home. Castiel wished it could be different but he had no other choice. The world was that cruel.
On a Monday night, he was off from work at 10pm. He left the warehouse through the back door and headed home. He walked a few blocks inside town before he rested his aching back against a cold brick wall. He let his head fall back against the wall as well, sighing in exhaustion.
What a long day.
"Cas?"
Castiel snapped out of his thoughts and turned to face Dean, who standing just a few feet away from him.
"Dean? What—"
"I've been looking all over for you," Dean said, sounding relieved.
Castiel frowned at him and then looked away. "Dean you shouldn't—"
"Yes I should!" Dean cut him off and stepped closer to him, almost invading his personal space "You just rush out of my apartment like you've been stung or something, and I had no idea what was going on, and then you stop showing up at our meetings. I just wonna know what's going on, Cas. Did I… Did I do something…?"
"You didn't do anything, Dean," Castiel told him, firmly, and met his eyes.
"Then why—"
"I just needed to get out of there," Castiel cut him off. "It didn't… it didn't feel right." He bit his lower lip and looked away.
Dean frowned at him. "Was it because of Rachel?" he asked softly. When he got no reply, he knew the answer. "I broke up with her," he said, shifting on his feet; hands buried in his pockets.
Castiel's head snapped up to look at him, staring at him with wide eyes. "What?" he asked, shocked.
Dean just shrugged. "Well, we've done nothing but argue lately, as you know. And I mean, she was all nice at the beginning when it was all birds and flowers, but then a few things happened and, you know, things changed. She kind of became… well, you know how she is now. I thought it would get better over time, but it only got worse. Now she moved into another apartment."
Castiel was still staring at him in shock. He hadn't expected Dean to break up with Rachel all of sudden. "I, I'm sorry."
"Don't be," Dean chuckled. "I think… I think maybe she wasn't the one I was looking for anyway," he said, staring into Castiel's eyes in a way that made Castiel twitch as a warm feeling engulfed his grace.
"Oh," was all he could say.
"So… will you come back to the café or not? I kind of miss having someone to talk to, ya know…" Dean asked, looking at Castiel with hopeful, kind of shy eyes.
It took a while for Castiel to process that. They had both enjoyed each other's company on Wednesday nights; both needing someone to talk to about their day at work and have someone listen to what they had to say. Castiel also missed that. But at the same time he felt guilty every time he and Dean were together. He should let Dean know who he was – what he was – but his fear held him back. He couldn't go through that pain again, of having Dean taken away from him because of what he was.
He considered saying no, because he couldn't take the guilt and the pain in his grace anymore, but instead his mouth ended up saying "Yes" without permission from his brain, because this was what he really wanted. He cursed at himself for it, but when Dean's eyes lit up, so did Castiel's grace.
"Okay, awesome. Uh, see you in two days then, on Wednesday?"
"Sure," Castiel answered, giving Dean a small smile.
"Great," Dean smiled and turned to hurry back to the café. "See you on Wednesday!"
Castiel waved back at him as Dean disappeared down the street.
What on Earth had he gotten himself into now?
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On the Friday after, Dean found himself outside the University of Kansas, waiting for his brother to come out and meet him.
They had planned on spending the night together, maybe go to some bar or club or something and have fun. Sam's girlfriend, Jess, had an appointment with some friends, so it was ideal for the brothers to have a 'boys' night'. They hadn't had that for a while now, and Dean really needed to get away from his everyday life and have some fun.
Cas had showed up, as agreed, the following Wednesday. He was relieved that he and Cas had made up again, though he wasn't quite sure what it was that had made Cas stay away in the first place. He had tried asking him, but the guy didn't seem to want to talk about it, so Dean had stopped asking. He didn't want to push him.
He didn't want to admit it, but he almost had the feeling he couldn't keep doing his stupid job if Cas didn't show up every Wednesday for a talk. Well, he liked the job and his colleagues, but sometimes the customers could really piss one off. It was good to someone who could calm you down after a stressful week.
Dean was leaning against the Impala, waiting for Sam to come out of the school, when he suddenly spotted two familiar figures on a bench in the school's front yard. When he looked closer he noticed that it was Cas and his brother, Gabriel.
Cas was wearing his usual outfit; a suit and the trench coat. He briefly wondered if it was glued to him or something. Dean decided to approach the two.
"Hey guys," he said as he stood in front of them.
"Dean?" Castiel said, staring up at him in surprise.
"Look at that! The guy also exists outside the café," Gabriel grinned at him.
"Yeah, but only sometimes," Dean grinned back.
"What are you doing here?" Castiel asked, still staring up at him in surprise.
"I'm here to pick up Sam. We have some plans for tonight, but the guy hasn't shown up yet," Dean answered and buried his hands in his jean pockets.
"Ah, Sam. I think he's on his way right now," Gabriel said.
"How do you know?" Dean frowned.
"Ah you know, angels— ow!" Gabriel said, glaring at Castiel who had just smacked him with an invisible wing. Castiel was glaring back at him; reminding him not to mention that they were angels.
Dean frowned and stared between them in confusion, wondering what was going on, before Sam approached.
"Dean, there you are! Sorry I'm late, something came up," Sam said.
"No problem, Sammy," Dean smiled and pulled him into a hug. When they pulled apart, Castiel and Gabriel had gotten up from the bench already.
"Gabriel?" Sam asked, frowning in surprise at him.
"Hey Sam," smirked Gabriel.
"You know him?" Dean asked Sam, looking between the two.
"Yeah," Sam said, not taking his eyes from Gabriel as if he was expecting the guy to do something to him as soon as he looked away. "He has a habit of grabbing… my ass."
Sam shifted uncomfortably and Gabriel burst out in laughter. Dean was staring in shock, thinking perhaps he had heard it wrong, and Castiel turned to glare at his brother.
"Well, you do have a pointy ass," Gabriel laughed.
"No I don't," Sam said, giving the guy a bitchface. "Anyway, who's this?" Sam asked, looking at Castiel now. That was also when both Dean and Castiel noticed that they had shifted somewhat closer to each other; so close that their arms were almost brushing against the other's.
"Oh," Dean said, feeling his face flush red and took a step small away, and Castiel did the same. "This is Cas, I think I told you a little about him. He's also Gabe's brother."
"Ooh," Sam said, eyes lighting up. "It's nice to meet you," Sam said, holding a hand out for Castiel to shake.
Castiel shook his hand. "You too, Sam."
Castiel observed Sam for a moment; his grace recognizing him as the 3-year-old younger brother of Dean's from their childhood. But like with Dean, Sam did not seem to recognize him. Which was good.
It wasn't like they had played much together back then – Dean had always wanted to be alone with Castiel when they were playing together, mostly because he didn't like it when someone else (especially Sam) got curious and touched Castiel's wings. That was before he learned how to hide his wings, and Dean always found them very fascinating.
"So, uh, do you guys have any plans for tonight?" Dean asked, looking at Castiel and Gabriel, who looked back at him in surprise.
"Not really, why?" Castiel said, and cocked his head to the side.
"Well, I was wondering, maybe you could join me and Sam? We're gonna go to town tonight and have some fun, but I guess some more company wouldn't be so bad."
"Oooh yeah, I'm all in!" Gabriel said. "And so is Cassie here," he added and hit his brother in the back.
Castiel glared at him. Gabriel was once again making decisions without asking him first. He wasn't used to 'having fun' in town at night, and the thought of going actually made him a little nervous. But Dean had invited them, so Castiel didn't protest.
Sam made a grimace and glared briefly at Dean, who didn't notice. If Gabriel came along, there was a good chance Sam would be the target of his pranks once again, and Sam wasn't particularly interested in that.
They said goodbye and agreed to meet later in a club a few streets away from the university.
When Castiel came home he sat down on the couch with a sigh and buried his face in his hands. Gabriel had come home with him, and was taking the liberty of snatching some of the snacks Castiel kept in the kitchen.
"What, don't tell me you're nervous, little bro," Gabriel chuckled as he returned to the living room with the bag of snacks.
"I don't… like… night clubs," Castiel told him; face still buried in his hands.
"Have you ever been to one?"
"….No."
Gabriel laughed. "Then how can you say that? C'mon, Cas, you're gonna love it. You really need to get away from that asshole Zachariah. I don't get why you're still there anyway." He dug his hand into the snack bag and started munching.
"Because no one else will employ me," Castiel mumbled and put his hands down in his lap instead.
"Well, maybe you just didn't search enough for a place," Gabriel said with his mouth full, while he was moving over to take a look at Castiel's small DVD collection. He wondered if Castiel ever actually watched any of those.
"I looked for a whole year, Gabriel…"
"Right," the archangel said, turning around to face his brother again. "But either way, tonight you're gonna get away from that fat bastard and be with Dean – just like the old days – so quit looking so depressed already."
"I'm not looking depre—" Castiel trailed off as he let Gabriel's words sink in. He turned his head around to look at his brother, who was observing him carefully. "…You, you knew?"
"About Dean?" Gabriel asked. "Yes, I know about him. Ever since we first saw him at the café, actually. Once I know someone's soul, I don't forget it again. Cas, you know that."
Castiel stood up and walked towards his brother. "Then why didn't you tell me?"
"Oh, c'mon, like that would have changed a damn thing," Gabriel said, making a gesture with his hand that made the contents of the snack bag shuffle. "You'd still be too afraid to tell him who and what are you anyway. 'Cos I bet you didn't do that yet, did you?" he asked knowingly, grabbing another snack from the bag.
Castiel's gaze fell the ground, guiltily. "No, I didn't."
Gabriel sighed and put the bag away. "I know old Mr. Winchester went all 'get-the-fuck-out-you-filthy-angel' on you, but Dean isn't like that, and I think he deserves to know the truth. Hell, I actually think he has his suspicions about you as it is."
Castiel looked up at his brother and frowned. "Dean hasn't mentioned—"
"Of course he hasn't mentioned it, you idiot, 'cos he isn't sure yet. Hell, I don't even know how much he knows, but I do know you seem familiar to him. Just tell him already, Jesus."
"It's too late anyway," Castiel mumbled.
"Better late than never," Gabriel shrugged. "Now let's get dressed for tonight, shall we? We're gonna make you look hot," he smirked and gave his little brother a wink.
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It was sort of crowded in the club when they arrived. Gabriel pushed his way through the crowd with Castiel following him closely. The music was sort of loud, and so were the people; most of them were drunk by now. Castiel felt kind of out of place, this wasn't an environment he was used to.
When they reached the back of the club, Castiel spotted Dean and Sam over by some tables in the corner. Dean nodded at them as he saw them and hurried over.
When Dean finally made his way through the crowd of people and got to the place where Castiel and his brother were standing, he froze.
Castiel wasn't wearing his usual outfit. Instead, he wore a dark, tight t-shirt with some pattern on its front, and dark tight jeans. Gabriel had said the jeans made his ass stand out as more 'sexy', Castiel had merely frowned in disgust at that but wore them anyway. It wasn't like he could tell Gabriel 'no' once the guy had made up his mind about something. Though he did think these clothes were a bit too 'human' for him, and he felt sort of uncomfortable wearing them to the club.
Dean stared at him for a few seconds; eyes travelling hungrily over Cas' body.
"Dean?" Castiel asked, uncertainly, shifting under Dean's stare.
Dean seemed to snap out of it and looked up at his face. "Uh… oh, sorry. Err, Sam and I are sitting over there in the corner. You guys wonna come over?"
"Sure thing, we better go now before you eat my brother alive with that look," Gabriel laughed and patted Dean's back as he walked past him and over to the tables.
Dean's face flushed red, but decided to ignore Gabriel's comment. "Uh, are you coming?" he asked Castiel, who was still frowning after Gabriel's comment. Castiel at him and they walked through the crowd back to the tables.
Sam was waiting for them, and his face lit up as they finally came over. He groaned inwardly as Gabriel sat down next to him, while Dean and Cas sat down on the opposite side of the table.
"Don't worry, Sammy, I don't bite," Gabriel told him with a smirk when he noticed Sam's tight expression.
"Well, but you do all other sorts of things…" Sam said, shifting nervously.
Gabriel burst out laughing. "Oh that's true, but you aren't my target tonight, Sam."
Sam wasn't sure whether to be feel relieved or not.
They ended up chatting a bit about what the others did, since Sam didn't know Castiel or Gabriel that much, and they didn't know that much about him. Of course Sam knew Gabriel from the university, but he only saw him sometimes when the guy was doing his chores or pulling pranks – and of course when Sam was the target of one of his pranks. They had never really talked to each other that much before.
The conversation was long, and Dean and Gabriel seemed to get along pretty well. It didn't surprise Castiel that much considering they both had pretty much the same sense of humour.
After having chatted for about an hour, Gabriel decided to go look for some hot chick. Sam also left the table as it turned out that Jess was also at the club tonight.
That left only Dean and Cas back at the table, and neither had any intentions of picking up girls. The music was still pounding in the background, and people were yelling and screaming around as they enjoyed themselves.
Castiel was already at his third beer by now, and was beginning to feel a bit dizzy from the alcohol. Of course he could just will it away, but he didn't want to appear suspicious. Dean was already done with his fourth beer, and it was beginning to show a bit. He started talking more and more, but he wasn't too far gone, he knew what he was saying and doing.
"So," Dean said, putting down his empty bottle on the table and turned to look at Cas. "When are you gonna leave that place you work at? You can't possibly want to keep working for such a dick."
"I don't 'want' to work there," Castiel said, placing his half-empty beer on the table as well and started fumbling with the etiquette. "But I haven't been able to find anything else, and you know, I gotta live."
"True, but 'cmon, I could help you find a place?" Dean suggested.
"No, thank you. It's okay. I'll live," Castiel said, not taking his eyes from the beer in front of him.
Dean observed him for a minute and smiled smugly.
"You know, when you fumble with the etiquette on a beer bottle, it usually means that you're sexually frustrated," Dean said, gesturing at the etiquette Cas had already peeled half-way off.
Castiel froze and stopped peeling it off. "Well, maybe I am…" he said, and leaned back in the seat with a sigh.
Dean chose not to comment on that and instead leaned back as well. Their shoulders bumped together, and they were sitting pretty close, thighs touching, but neither moved away.
"You know, I'm glad we have this thing going on; with you coming by once a week, having a chat and all," Dean said after a few moments of silence between them.
Castiel's body tensed somewhat next to his, but then he relaxed again. "As am I," Castiel replied softly.
Dean leaned closer to him, making Castiel turn his head to look back at him. Dean brought his right hand up and cupped Castiel's cheek gently, never moving his eyes away from his. "I'm really glad you came," he said.
"Dean..."
Castiel didn't manage to say more, because then Dean's lips brushed against his; gently, uncertain, as if asking for permission. Castiel's grace jumped inside him, and he froze for a moment, unsure of what to do. Then, he moved his lips closer to Dean's; pressing against them and giving him the permission he was asking for.
Dean made a small growl and moved his body closer to Cas', pushing him into the corner of the seat and started kissing him harder. The kiss was passionate but hungry, and Dean's hand moved to the back of Cas' neck as he worked on the guy's mouth; tasting his lips and feeling Cas respond to him.
The kiss was overwhelming. It was a long time ago Castiel had last kissed someone, and he couldn't remember ever experiencing a kiss like this; with so much feeling in it that made his grace go mad inside of him. He was so overwhelmed that he almost didn't notice when Dean's tongue came out, pushing against his lips, begging for entry. Castiel parted his lips, allowing Dean to explore the insides of his mouth. Castiel lost himself in the feeling of Dean invading his mouth; battling his tongue and exploring every part he could reach. His hands were grapping onto Dean's t-shirt, but he moved them up to Dean's shoulders and neck as the kiss continued.
Finally they pulled apart to catch their breaths, but they didn't move away from each other. Castiel stared into Dean's green eyes, and Dean back in his before Dean moved his head forward, bringing their foreheads together; eyes never leaving Castiel's.
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They left the club soon afterwards. Gabriel had found some hot chick to spend the night with, and Sam had found Jess. Both Cas and Dean were tired and decided it's better to head home now and get some rest.
When they went outside the club, they were met with cool air. Castiel shivered. He missed his trench coat already.
"Sorry, dude, but I don't have a jacket you can borrow," Dean told him, looking at him sympathetically.
"That's alright. I don't live all that far from here anyway," Castiel said; bringing his hands up to rub on his arms.
"Want me to follow you home?"
Dean's question was not what Castiel had expected. He looked at him in surprise, unsure of what to say. "I…"
"It's alright if you don't want me to," Dean said, shifting nervously.
"No, it's alright. I'd like that."
"Alright, you lead the way," Dean smiled.
Castiel started walking in the direction of his street, Dean walking next to him. They mostly walked in silence; blushing whenever their gazes met. Things had gotten kind of awkward after the kiss, which was still fresh in memory.
They walked through a dark alley; Dean saying that this was most likely a shorter way to Cas' apartment. Cas was somewhat reluctant to go into the alley, but followed his friend anyway. But when they had almost reached the end of the alley, four men suddenly appeared from the darkness, making Dean and Cas stop up in surprise.
"Look what we've got here; two lost pieces of meat," one guy said, looking them up as he approached them. Dean instinctively moved in front of Castiel; trying to shield him from the strangers. "What's wrong? Afraid I'll hurt your pretty boyfriend?" the guy mocked.
"Just keep your distance, asshole," Dean snarled.
The three other guys encircled them; each of them eyeing them up hungrily as they stepped closer.
"Oh, I'll keep my distance alright, but not to your pretty boyfriend here," the guy – the leader – said with a dark grin.
Suddenly Dean heard Castiel yelp behind him and turned to see two of the guys grapping his friend, forcing him over to the wall. "Cas!" he shouted, but was then attacked by the third guy who pushed him to the ground; pinning him in place with his weight.
Dean tried to fight him off, and was aware of Cas struggling to get free from the other guys' grips.
"Don't worry; we'll take good care of your boyfriend," said the guy was on top of Dean; flashing him a grin that revealed his unkempt teeth. Dean made a sound of frustration, struggling to get free when all of sudden he heard the two guys who were grapping at Cas scream and collide with the wall.
"The fuck?" said the guy above him; getting up and running over to Cas, only to get hit hard and slammed against the brick wall.
Dean looked up and saw Cas standing there; huge black wings coming out from his back, and three big guys laying around him on the ground after he had slammed them against the wall with the strength of his wings.
The leader now engaged Castiel; throwing himself at him with an angry growl only to receive a punch in the stomach that sent him to the ground immediately, holding his aching stomach and groaning in pain. The other men got up quickly and ran away as fast as they could, soon disappearing out of sight.
Castiel grabbed the leader, who was still on the ground, by the front of his shirt and pulled him to his feet with just one hand. "Get. The fuck. Out," Castiel growled at him. As soon as he released the guy's shirt, he was running away also, following his friends.
Dean was still on the ground; sitting up and leaning back on his hands while he stared up at Cas with wide, disbelieving eyes. Castiel's wings were still out; huge and magnificent and dark as the night with a slight navy-blue glow to them.
Dean knew those wings. He had been so fascinated by them as a child. He could never forget their beauty.
His mouth opened and closed a few times before he managed to force out, "You… it was you, all along…" The angel turned his sorrowful eyes towards him; the dark wings moving tighter to his body. "Cas… as in Castiel, am I right?" Dean said; voice trembling with betrayal and disbelief.
"Dean…" Castiel said. His wings drooped slightly behind him as if to mimic his sad and guilty expression.
Dean got to his feet, slowly; eyes never leaving Castiel. "Why didn't you tell me?" he asked. His voice wasn't angry, but it revealed the betrayal he felt. Castiel could also feel it in his soul. It was painful to witness.
"Dean, I…"
"Why?" Dean demanded; voice cracking as tears starting forming in his eyes, but he held them back.
"Dean, I'm sorry…" Castiel said; his own voice cracking. He spread out his wings – almost touching the walls on either side of him with their huge span – and before Dean could say anything, the angel took off and flew out of the alley; leaving Dean alone to cope with what just happened.
To be continued…
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Sorry about the cliff-hanger, I'll try to update soon.
Hope you enjoyed it and please leave a review for me – it only takes a minute and they keep me motivated. Thank you :)
And thank you to everyone who reviewed so far, I appreciate it very much! :)
