I don't own anything

Prologue:

She didn't trust me, but that was all going to change.

Alice's point of view:

I lied. I am a very bad person. I told him I wasn't ready to tell yet I was. I needed the pain of everything to go away. I needed someone to understand how I felt, not to judge and make false accusations but to sit there and listen. And I went and told him I wasn't ready to tell. I've screamed at myself with so much frustration my lungs have no air left in them. It's hard to breakdown and cry when you have no tears left to cry with.

I have to admit, it scared me when he told me he would listen to me. No one has ever said they would wait for me. He was beautiful, why did he want to listen to me? He should be talking to some gorgeous model and asking for her phone number. Yet there he was waiting at my dorm room door asking to come in. Why?

He was leant against the doorframe waiting for my answer. Bella and Rosalie had gone shopping, of course they invited me but I didn't want to go, I never do anymore. His bright blue eyes are staring at me trying to read me. He knows my name not my story. His hand was loosely on the door knob. I could see in his eyes, he was begging me to come in. Maybe he needed redemption too? I pulled the door open wider so he could pass through. As he walked past me I caught the familiar scent which was him. He gingerly sat down on the couch waiting for me to join him. I gently sat on the edge before turning to face his eyes. "Jasper, what are you doing here?" He smiled "I wanted to get to know you better" I groaned "We had this conversation yesterday, im not ready" He took my hand in-between his and looked upon my now frowning face. "Alice I know you're not, and I would never force you to, I just, I want to know you" He was being genuine, his hand tightened on mine. I couldn't breathe, my head was spinning, and my ribs were tightening around my chest. Is this normal? Why does he want to know me? Im not anything special. Im nothing.

And there I was telling him everything. How my parents were in love and married then they were divorced when i was six, and how I took it upon myself to look after my broken hearted mom. He sat and listened, occasionally laughed at the odd moment and I swear I even saw tears from his eyes when I told him about my parents divorcing. He was now in the bathroom while I made us some drinks. My hand shook as I held the spoon in the mug. Why? I never felt like this before. Yeah Bella and Rosalie have heard my story before but telling Jasper was different, like he was actually listening. Like for once in my pathetic life someone actually cared. I had tried to diminish my heart and had completely decided to ignore it until that warm fuzzy feeling came back. It travelled down through my body, even to the tips of my toes. I can't feel this, not again. My hands began violently shaking just as Jasper walked in. GREAT, FUCKING GREAT.

Jasper's Point Of View:

I checked myself in the mirror. Today my usual frown had been replaced by a smile. She had put it there. My eyes were happy, the way they used to be. I flicked open the lock and walked out to find Alice's hands shaking. There she was dressed in an oversized grey jumper and some tiny shorts. Her ivory legs were shaking and her knees buckled. I ran and caught her before she fell to the floor. Her whole body was in overdrive. She was shaking so bad, I pulled her close to my chest and made shushing noises. I ran my hands through her hair. She was slowly calming down. When she had finally regained her breathe and she had stopped shaking I gently placed her on the couch. As soon as I placed her on the couch she clawed at my shirt "Please don't leave me Jasper, everybody leaves me, please don't" I bent down and pushed the hair out her eyes. "I'll never leave you Alice" Without knowing what I was doing I gently pressed a kiss to her forehead. She moved over on the couch so I could get on. She instantly crawled over to me. I held my arms open so she could embrace me. She slowly hugged me to her body. "So, what do you want to do?" I looked down to see her adorable brown eyes staring back; they were filled with tears.

I pulled her up to my face. "Alice, what's wrong?" The tiny tear trickled down her cheek. "I, Im so stupid" The tear glided and fell into my palm. It was beautiful, just like her. "I can't do it again, I can't" She sobbed into my chest. "Do what Alice?" She continued sobbing "Fall in love again." Wait what is she going on about? "Alice I don't understand." She looked at me for a minute before getting off me and locking herself in the bathroom. I instantly regretted what I had said. Had I done this to her? I ran my hand across my face. My heart broke at the thought that this was my fault. Oh god, I had done this to her. I walked over to the bathroom door and knocked gently. "Alice is you okay?" Dumbass. She sniffed. "Do think im fucking okay?" Great I just put my foot in it. "Okay stupid question, is this my fault?" It was silent until I heard the door unclick. I flicked my head up to see Alice standing in the door way. Razor Blade in the left hand. Mascara tears along the cheeks. She dropped the razor on the floor and walked into my outstretched arms.

I looked down to see the bundle of black hair lay on my chest. Her chest rising and falling gently. She was so beautiful. I picked her up and kicked open the door which I guessed was hers. I gently laid her on the bed. She stirred slightly. I actually think she is beautiful. Why is my heart reacting this way? I looked around the room for a pen and some paper. I finally found some; I quickly scrawled a note and left it on the side. I ran my hand across her cheek before leaving the room.

Alice's Point of view:

Did I dream that all? Jasper cradling me in his arms, him kissing the top of my forehead, me ending up in a bundle of tears? No, it has to be a dream. There was no way Jasper would come and see me. Is there? I opened my eyes to see a dimly lit room which I recognised to be mine. That's weird I don't remember coming in here? As my eyes adjusted to the light I saw a note on my bedside table. I picked it up.

Dear Alice

Im sorry for leaving you likes this, but it's easier this way.

Im sorry if I made you cry before. I honestly regret ever saying anything, please forgive me? I am honestly sorry about everything, please know that. I left you to sleep after you passed out on me. What an eventful day. I hope to see you as soon as I can. Please meet me on the far side of the lake at 2:00pm, I'll be waiting.

Love Jasper xoxo

So it wasn't a dream? Oh god! He fucking saw me break down? I groaned. He wanted me to meet him at the lake, but why? I looked at my watch 1:30. Oh shit! I only had half an hour to get ready? I quickly got in the shower, washed my hair, and got out. I pulled on a black sleeved top and my high waisted skinnies with my black converse. I looked at my bruised face. There was no way I could go natural. I did my heavy make-up and left out the door.

I ran to the other side of the lake as fast as I could. When I got there I couldn't see him. Great, just fucking great. I missed my chance to talk to him. I sank on the bench and closed my eyes. "Well, looks like our play toy is back" I instantly knew who it was. I looked up to see Lauren stood above me, hands clenched into fists. Why? "What you doing out here frigid?" "Im meeting someone" I mumbled. She laughed. "You?" she shrieked. "And who would be interested in meeting you?" I didn't say anything "I am" I looked up to see Jasper approaching us. Lauren turned her head to stare. Her mouth dropped open. "But why? She's nothing" Jasper growled then walked over to Lauren and grabbed her "Don't ever fucking say that" Lauren ran as fast as she could. I looked at my hands. "Alice, why do you let her treat you that way?" I sighed, he would never understand me. "Because Jasper, it's easier if I don't fight back" Jasper pulled my face up so I was looking into his eyes "But Alice, you do know that it's bullying right?" I shrugged, it's not like it would stop.

"You shouldn't listen to her" "Why not? Huh after all, she's only saying what everyone else is thinking, I am nothing" He grabbed my hands "Alice don't ever say that, you're not anything" I pulled my hands free "You can't say that, you don't know me enough to say that" I raged at him. He looked upon me. "Then let me know you?" it wasn't a question it was more of a plead. A tear leaked from my eye. "Okay, you really want to know?" He nodded.

I stood up and pulled my sleeve's up. "This Jasper" I pointed to my now healing scars. "Is what happens after 2 years of bullying, okay?" I screamed at him. "My heart was broken and I had no other way" "You have no fucking idea what it's been like; I had death notes and everything. My life is non-existent anymore okay? I don't have anybody anymore." My body began to tremor. My eyes were pouring with tears. "Me, Me m, me and J, J, James were together for 3 years." I calmed down, I had to otherwise I would have lost all of my speech. "He told me he, he, he Lov, lov, loved me. He lied he never did. Then one time he asks me to sleep with him. I said no, I wasn't ready. We had our whole lives planned in front of us. That night he walked out and the next day he pretended I didn't exist. Then im sat at lunch with Bella and Rosalie and Lauren comes up to me and says "Is it true that you didn't put out for James?" He had told everybody I was frigid and now everyone still calls it me. 2 years I've had this. I fucking hate my life."

I crumbled on the floor. My heart felt weak. Like all the fighting I had done had been for nothing. Like he made every decision I had ever done. I felt a warm hand on my back. Jasper pulled me into his arms and sat on the bench. "Have you ever told anybody?" His voice was calm. It made me feel safe. I shook my head. I buried my head deep into his chest smelling his muskiness. "Alice, but someone could help you?" I shook my head. I looked upon Jasper's face. His forehead was creased with concern. "No one will listen, no one ever does" He ran his hand across my cheek. "I do"

I looked into his eyes. They consumed me. I wanted to stay like this forever. Jasper rested his hand on my cheek. He pulled me closer. Our faces were so close I could see every skin follicle on his face. He was so beautiful. He pulled his lips closer to mine. I felt the heat radiate off him. His lips were soft. They caressed mine. I felt him tug on my bottom lip with his teeth. Every sense in my body was going crazy. It was a good thing I wasn't standing up; otherwise my knees would have buckled. He pushed my lips open with his tongue. It explored every nook and cranny my mouth had to offer. He was amazing.

I pulled away; I fluttered my eyes open and looked into his eyes. I untangled my hands from his hair and caressed his cheek. He smiled. "Alice" I looked upon his face "Mhhhm Jasper?" "You're so beautiful" The rose in my cheeks appeared out of nowhere. "Thank you, but why are you lying?" He looked me up and down. "Alice, I would never lie to you" I kissed his cheek. I got up. Wait, I had just kissed Jasper? It was amazing. My heart soared at the thought of me and Jasper kissing like that again. I turned to Jasper "I have to go" Jasper jumped up and stood in front of me. He grazed his hand across my cheek. "Why? Where? Please don't go?" So many questions. "Don't worry Jasper, Im just going back to my dorm okay? Im going because I need some time to think and text me later?" His eyes looked disappointed but he nodded giving me his reassurance. He placed a simple chaste kiss on my lips. "Jasper?"

He looked down at me. Confusion written all over his face. "Meet me tonight?" He smiled. The colour in his cheeks had become more apparent. "Come to my room this time, Edwards going out with Bella so the place will be free" He looked at me the longing to have him in my arms again was taking over. "Ermm Jasper?" He ran his fingers through my hair "Yes Alice?" "I err; don't know where your dorm is?" I looked at my feet in my own embarrassment. I could feel my cheeks flushing another shade of red. He pulled my face up to meet his. "Alice it's down the hall from you, room 607 okay?" I nodded, I no idea where that was. I gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and walked back toward the dorms.

OMG I HAD JUST KISSED JASPER WHITLOCK. FML. Wow he was amazing and he was kissing me? He liked me? Wait Alice he never said he liked you; you're just setting yourself up for heartbreak AGAIN! Iwalked into my dorm roomto find the expectant eyes of my best friends UH OH?

Rosalie's Point of View:

My nail beds suck. I looked up to see a very anxious looking Alice. She had been acting differently, somewhat distant, like she couldn't trust us. She looked at me then at Bella. She gasped slightly. "Alice spill now!" The words slipped from Bella's lips. She looked down and dragged herself to the chair. She began fiddling with her fingers. This is so obvious. "This is about a boy isn't it?" I asked. She nodded. Her cheeks reddening. Oh god, not another James. He fucked my bestfriend up beyond repair. There was no way in hell this boy was gonna fuck her up again. "He was so nice to me" Who? "Alice what are you talking about?" Bella the voice of reason said. "I met a guy" "Obviously "I said. " We kissed" My eyes practically bulged out of my sockets. "You kissed? Who did you kiss?" Alice turned and even deeper shade of red. "It doesn't matter" Bella stood in front of her "Doesn't matter, Alice of course it matters who you go around snogging."

"It's not like that, I really like him" Alice shouted. I stood up at this point "Alice that's good but we don't want you to get hurt again" She turned to me "You honestly think your brother would hurt me?" She shouted at the top of her tiny lungs. Wait my brother. My broken brother. The one who self-harmed. My fragile brother who hated any girl that walked the planted? "Jasper?" She nodded forcing the tears I could see in her eyes to stay back. "Alice, he's not thinking straight, he probably doesn't want to hurt you, but he probably doesn't want you either" Okay rose that was a bit mean. "Oh yeah I forgot , im not allowed anyone to like me, I have to be like this don't I , I mean who could possibly like me" She indicated to herself before she collapsed on the floor in a bundle of tears. I ran and hugged her. "Im sorry, Alice that's not what I meant" Bella gave me the "You've really gone and put your foot in it" look. I kissed her hair. "Alice I just meant that he doesn't know what he wants anymore, he's broken, just like you" She sniffed before hugging me tightly. She sat up and looked at me to Bella "I err need to tell you guys something" What could she possibly tell me, she fucked my brother? "Did you fuck him?" I asked being as blunt as I could. "No, why would you think that?" I looked down at my nails and shrugged. "It's something even worse than that" She said with a small sigh.

…..

For anyone who doesn't know what fml is: Fuck my life

And thank you for reading

Lots of {love} Angie xoxo