Chapter 2

Lily awoke to the sound of loud pounding on her front door. It was still dark out and Lily's heart was in her throat. She grabbed her wand and slowly approached the front door praying that the commotion hadn't woken Harry up. She stood back two feet and threw the door open with a wave of her wand.

"Remus! You gave me a heart attack. Do you realize what time it is?"

"I'm sorry… sorry. I had nowhere else to go."

There were bags under his eyes and he looked like he hadn't slept in weeks.

"Come in, come in. What happened?"

"Lost my job last week. Too much time off. It was only a matter of time. But, my landlord wasn't impressed. He kicked me out."

"Oh, Remus. Why didn't you come to me sooner?" she said shuffling the wizard into a chair and throwing a blanket around him.

"Didn't want to be a burden" he mumbled.

"You're my friend Remus. You could never be a burden."

"I know you believe that Lily I really do. But, ever since I got bitten I was told I would never amount to much. I just want so bad to be able to prove all those people wrong."

"You already are Remus. You graduated with 7 N.E. . Your struggles are down to societal prejudices, not anything you're doing wrong."

"I know it just, it sucks."

"I know, I know," she said rubbing his back soothingly.

"I… I've messaged Sirius a few times now to apologize. He hasn't responded to any of my letters."

"No?" Lily said not really knowing what else to say.

" I didn't really expect him too, but I kind of hoped."

"Well, he always could hold a grudge with the best of them. How he can hold you thinking he was the spy against him, I'll never know. He made his suspicions towards you perfectly clear" Lily spat with venom she didn't really feel. Sirius Black was the last topic she wanted to discuss.

"I highly doubt the suspicion is what he's holding against us," Remus said with a pointed look.

"Can we talk about something else, please?" she begged.

"Doesn't it bother you though? The guilt, I mean. It keeps me awake at night, Lily. You can't tell me you don't have regrets about how we handled that entire thing?"

"Of course I do! This hasn't exactly been a cakewalk for me either, Remus. I tried so hard to write letter after letter to him, but I couldn't find the words. I'd just keep seeing James' face, and remembering how miserable he was those last three months. And when it all came out in the end and I couldn't delude myself that it was for the best anymore, I had to realize that I put that look on his face. He almost went after him you know? He was all packed and ready to go and bring Sirius back. And I …. and I told him" she sobbed.

"I told him that if he did that I'd take Harry and run. I was so convinced I knew what was best. I made him choose between his family and his best friend. There was no competition, obviously. James was a devoted father. But, the choice. Being forced to make that choice broke him. I broke him."

"Lily…" Remus said pulling her on to the couch with him.

"And the worst part is that I can't help but feel it was all for nothing! That we didn't manage to change a damn thing. Voldemort's gone, but at what cost?"

"What are we going to do?" he whispered.

"Live, Remus. It is the only thing we can do. We can't bury ourselves in guilt. What happened, happened and we can't change it. Sirius has moved on with his life. So should we."

"Has he really, though? Jame was his best friend. You can't honestly believe, he could let that go anymore then we have."

"I don't know what you want me to say, Remus. He'd be more likely to hex me then answer any of my letters. If there was a time to make amends, that time has long past."

"Mom, what's going on?"

Lily turned her head to see Harry standing tentatively in the hallway. His hair was wild and he was rubbing his eyes sleepily.

"Nothing Harry. Uncle Remus just came for a visit. I forgot he was flying in today." Lily said forcing a pleasant smile on her face.

"Why do you both look so sad?" he asked suspiciously.

"We just miss your father, Harry" Remus smiled sadly hoping that would placate the 10-year-old.

"Come here, Harry," she said gesturing for her son to sit between them. James had died protecting him. Keeping Harry safe for James was the only thing that made sense anymore.


Bill awoke to something sharp poking the side of his face. He sat up quickly disrupting his bedmate only to realize that it was an owl holding a letter.

"What's going on?" Penny asked still half asleep.

"Rowan and Ben are stranded in Knockturn Alley. Apparently, they're both too drunk to apparate. I should probably go get them" he said getting out of bed and scurrying into his clothes.

"This isn't some elaborate hoax to bail on staying the night is it?"

"No.. no. I've had a crush on you since fourth year. You're amazing. Will do this another time, okay?" he said kissing her before making his way out the door.

"Assholes" he muttered to himself as he apparated. Their drunken handwriting had been hard to decipher but he was pretty sure they hadn't actually told him where in Knockturn Alley they were. Why those idiots thought even venturing down that way was a good idea, he'd never know. But, he figured starting at Borgin and Burke's and making his way down was the most sensible option.

He appeared in front of the foreboding store with a loud pop. The street appeared deserted as he had expected. He was about to start hollering for his friends when he heard sharp whispers. He peeked his head around the corner and saw the dark outline of two figures. One the trembling figure of a short pudgy fellow, the other a tall foreboding figure.

"What did you call me here for, Wormtail? I can't appear to be seen in this area, let alone with a wanted Death Eater. I only narrowly avoided Azkaban" said a drawling voice.

"Things are on the move, Lucius. The Dark Lord is planning his return as we speak!" squeaked the plump man. Bill felt his blood run cold. Voldemort was supposed to be dead. He died in the explosion that took out James Potter.

"What proof do you have of this? If you think I'm sticking my neck out on the line for whispers and rumors?" growled the tall imposing figure.

The other man had called him Lucius. Bill had only heard of one Lucius and that was Lucius Malfoy. He was the head of a prominent wizarding family. Someone everyone expected was a Death Eater but no one could ever prove.

"How's this for proof?" the plump man said rolling up his sleeve and showing the other something on his forearm.

"I'll gather the others. There aren't many of us left, few managed to avoid Azkaban."

"I don't think that will be a problem much longer." both men apparated with a pop.

Bill scrambled away as fast as he could looking for his friends. He managed to find the two of them drunk and laughing their asses off near the end of the alley.

"Guys, we have to go now!" Bill said grabbing the two of them by the arms and giving them no warning before the three of them disappeared with a loud pop.

"What the hell, Bill? We are too drunk to be pulling that shit!" snarled Rowan.

"I can tell get into your flat and stay there!"

"Why? What's going on?"

"I don't have time to explain. Please, just for your own good" the other two nodded solemnly and disappeared into their flat.

Bill couldn't breathe. He didn't know what to do. He couldn't go to his parents. There was no way they could keep that under wraps from his younger siblings. And in all honesty, what could his parents do about it anyway. His next thought was Dumbledore but there was no way he could get to Hogwarts that easily this time of night. Then the idea hit him! Black was in town. He knew Black usually stayed at his family home well visiting London. Bill just hoped he was right. He concentrated really hard on the address of the Black residence.

The next moment he appeared in front of a large and imposing house snuggled tightly between what appeared to be too muggle houses. He ran up to the house and began pounding as loud as could. The door swung open to reveal a rather mangy looking House Elf.

"Who dares to call upon the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black at this hour?" the elf asked obviously annoyed.

"My name is Bill Weasley and I need to speak with Sirius Black immediately!"


Sirius threw another draft of his newest idea in the garbage. They needed something bigger, better something that would completely change the face of wizarding Britain. Black Inc. had made waves sure, but so far most of their stuff had just been neat little gadgets designed to make things easier. If he really wanted to make a difference he needed bigger, bolder moves.

"Master there is a very frantic red headed blood traitor at the front door demanding to speak with you."

"Do you know who it is?" Sirius' heart immediately jumped to Lily but Lily appearing at his front door was about as likely as Kreacher referring to her as anything other than a mud blood.

"He says his name is Bill Weasley"

"A Weasley, huh? Send him up."

A few minutes later Kreacher shoved a very distraught looking teenager into the study.

"Kreacher was saying you were demanding to see me?" Sirius asks.

"Yes, sir. My friends were too drunk to apparate and ended up in Knockturn Alley. I went to pick them up and I hear two guys rambling. One… one was named Lucius the other was only referred to as Wormtail" Sirius twitched at the name.

"Wormtail said things were moving. That the Dark Lord was on the move again."

"You're sure that's what you heard?" Sirius said evenly.

"Yes, very sure, sir."

"And Wormtail? You are positive that is what one of the men was called? Was he short, heavier set?"

"Yes"

"Damn!"

"Do you know who it was, sir?"

"Yes. I will explain later. Right now we are going to Hogwarts."

"Will we be able to get in at this hour?"

"Where there is a will there is a way," Sirius said with a wink grabbing a hold of the young man's shoulder as they apparated straight into Hogsmeade.

"That's … that's the Shrieking Shack!" the red-haired teenager stated.

"Very observant Weasley. Follow me"

"But, it's" the teenager protested.

"It's not haunted. It never was, now follow me."

Sirius lead Bill into the Shack, down to the basement and down a long tunnel.

"This is one of Hogwarts' best-kept secrets, Bill. This tunnel comes out directly under the Whomping Willow. If you press this root here. It will immobilize the tree for exactly 30 seconds so we have to be quick"

Sirius pressed to root and pushed the kid out as quickly as he could. They narrowly missed a swinging branch but made it out no worse for wear.

Sirius strolled up with deliberate strides leaving Bill to clamor after him.

He knocked on the castles' large doors.

"What in the name of Merlin is going on… Mr. Black, Mr. Weasley what are you doing here?" a very frazzled looking Minerva McGonagall asked clad in a dressing gown. It looked as if they had woken her up out of a dead sleep.

"I need to speak with Dumbledore. It's urgent or I wouldn't be here."

"This is highly unorthodox Mr. Black"

"I haven't spoken to the man in nine years. I wouldn't be caught dead here if it wasn't important."

"I suppose so," his former professor looked at him regret coloring her features.

"Follow me Mr. Black, Mr. Weasley"

Sirius soon found himself standing in front of the familiar statue that guarded the entrance to the Headmaster's Office. McGonagall murmured the password some type of muggle candy and Sirius shoved his young companion up the staircase.

"He's in there?"

"He's in a meeting already."

"At this time of night?"

"You will see when you get there, Mr. Black"

Sirius pushed the kid into the Headmaster's spacious office only to be greeted by three familiar faces and one he didn't know. Dumbledore, Lily, Remus and an again wizard he wasn't acquainted with.

"Sirius! I didn't expect to see you here and with Mr. Weasley. Is there a problem?"

"That depends. I'm hearing some not nice whispers of late"

"There are always whispers, Sirius. Nothing to concern yourself with."

"You see that's what I thought, until tonight. Mr. Weasley here had a run in with two people in Knockturn Alley. Maybe you've heard of them Lucius Malfoy and Peter Pettigrew?" Sirius said narrowing grey eyes staring down Dumbledore's calculating blue.

"Peter Pettigrew, you're sure?" Dumbledore said eyes turning to Bill.

"I'm not sure… the other man only called him Wormtail."

"That still doesn't prove anything, Black. Pettigrew has probably heard the same whispers that go around every year" stated the Asian wizard in a calm and collected voice.

"With all due respect. You don't know a damn thing about Pettigrew. Peter wouldn't have come out of hiding if he wasn't sure he'd have a powerful ally backing him up. He knows I'll rip him to shreds if I ever come across the slimy bastard" Sirius said giving pointed looks to his former friends.

"We have no reason to believe these whispers are any more than that whispers," Dumbledore said firmly.

"I don't buy that for a second. But, if that's how you want to play it. I'm calling your bluff. I have an interview tomorrow with the Daily Prophet and I'll them all about it."

"Fine. Your suspicions are correct. If word gets out there will be mass panic and we won't be able to control it. I assure you the Order of the Phoenix has it under control."

"Oh like you did last time. You can't keep toying with people's lives Dumbledore. Did you not learn anything from the last war!" Sirius growled. He was tired of Dumbledore's puppet master manipulations. He allowed himself to be played last time not this time, though.

"Sirius, think of the consequences if word got out. You know first hand how quickly paranoia sets in. Voldemort hasn't made a move yet, we have time to get this under control" said Remus finally breaking his silence.

"Don't you dare sit there and lecture me about the paranoia of war. Do you hear yourself Lupin! Let's sit and wait for Voldemort to make a move. You do realize his first move will be Harry, right!"

"We don't know that for sure. It was James who defeated him last time. For all we know the prophecy is void now" said Lily with confidence she didn't really feel.

"Stop being willfully blind, Lily. Even if the prophecy is void do you really think Voldemort is just going to let that go?"

"Albus, would you and Harold take Bill and give Remus and I a moment alone with Sirius."

"Of course," Dumbledore said ushering the other wizard and the teenager of the office.

"Sirius, Dumbledore is offering Harry every protection possible. We will take care of this. There is no reason for you to even get involved" Lily said as calmly as she could muster.

"No reason! You mean other then me being his Godfather?" Sirius scoffed.

"You hardly know him!" Lily bit back.

"And whose fault is that!" Sirius roared.

"I don't remember holding a wand to your throat telling you that I'd kill you if you ever came near me again!"

"Sirius, I'm sorry. We thought we were doing the right thing. You can't blame us, it isn't like you weren't making accusations left and right."

"You think I care about that! Had either of you wrote to me after if it all happened. I would have forgiven you in a heartbeat. Instead, I had to wait nine years to hear anything from either of you. Do you have any idea what it was like to hear about James' funeral on the radio! He was my brother!" yelled Sirius all the rage of the past nine years coming to a head.

"You're right. I'm sorry, okay. I was a coward. I had just lost my husband and the idea of going down that road with you was too much to bear. I had enough guilt. I didn't need you adding to it" Lily retorted bitterly.

"Fuck you! Fuck you and your martyr complex Evans! You were not the only one who lost him. And I deserved to be there. I deserved the chance to say goodbye!"


A/n: Just a note here. I don't hate Lily or Remus. War does awful things to people and I don't believe they did any of these things with intentional malice. They were put into an awful situation and as a result, made some pretty awful decisions.