Aaron fixed his collar in the mirror and overlooked his appearance. He sighed. It didn't look right. He moved back towards his wardrobe to pick out something else. As he moved shirts, bottoms and allsorts sideways in his wardrobe, he stopped himself. What was he doing? Trying to dress to impress some random bloke he'd barely even spoken to. He was just going out for a drink, he didn't need to look classy or anything. He wasn't even interested in this guy that way. The butterflies were no big deal. He always felt this way before a night out. It was just his nerves and he was looking forward to pulling. He sighed and ended up choosing something different. He stuck to jeans and a black and white jumper.
He grabbed his jacket from the bed and went downstairs.
'Paddy I'm off out,' Aaron called from the front doorway.
'Come in'ere,' Paddy called from the kitchen.
Aaron rolled his eyes and walked in.
'Where ya going?' Paddy eyed his smart clothing.
'Town.'
'Oh right I'll drop you off.'
'No no dont worry its fine.'
'No I insist.'
'Paddy. I'm 18. I can get on a bus on my own.'
'I'm taking ya.'
'No you're-'
'Get in the car. I wont stop until I take ya myself.'
Aaron bit his lip. He didn't want Paddy to see him outside that club.
'Right then,' Aaron spun round slowly and made his way to Paddy's vehicle.
He sat in the passenger seat and waited for Paddy to grab his jacket and keys. Why was he insisting to take him? It wasn't like Paddy. He was always giving Aaron his space and Aaron liked it better that way. He wasn't too keen on this invading, over-parenting Paddy.
Paddy got in the drivers seat and started up.
He knew Aaron was suspicious. He didn't want to ask if he was on drugs. He'd just see where Aaron was going.
'Who ya meeting in town?' Paddy made conversation, but didn't look at Aaron.
'No-one,' Aaron said. Maybe Paddy knew. Maybe he should just say.
'No-one? You going drinking on yer own?' Paddy forced a laugh.
'Well no-one you know,' Aaron shrugged it off.
Paddy looked at him then. Aaron started to feel uncomfortable and fessed up.
'Jackson,' Aaron said. 'I'm meeting him.'
'Oh Jackson. So you are mates.'
'Well, I s'pose. Got nowt better to do hav'a.'
Paddy clicked. This Jackson must've been his dealer. Why else would he tell Paddy he'd call Aaron? Why else would Aaron tell Paddy they weren't mates then meet him in town?
Aaron knew bar west was a five-minute walk from where Paddy was.
'Right thanks,' Aaron unbuckled his belt.
'Wait, I'll take you to the club,' Paddy said.
'No I'm meeting him here,' Aaron said, hand ready to open the door. 'Pull over.'
Paddy pulled over.
'Right then. Be safe.'
'Okay Paddy I will,' Aaron rolled his eyes and got out.
He stood on the path as if he was waiting for someone and Paddy drove off. Once out of sight he made his way up the road towards the bar. He didn't know where he was meeting Jackson, so he just waited outside for a while. He was quite ready to go in. He felt sick.
Jackson could be inside waiting. He'd think Aaron stood him up.
Aaron didn't know he was being watched.
Paddy had seen him make his way up the road. He was lingering in the shadows watching from the drivers seat. Aaron was waiting around. For Jackson most likely. So Paddy waited patiently.
'Alright,' Aaron spun around at the voice.
Jackson smiled and Aaron's stomach flipped.
He smiled back in reply.
'Coming in? Jackson asked.
Aaron eyed the club then looked around.
'Oh I get it,' Jackson half-smiled.
'Get what?' Aaron looked at him confused.
'Dont worry. I never told ya Dad where I found your phone or anything,' Jackson reassured him. 'I wasn't sure if you were open about it all. Obviously I was right.'
'Open about what?' Aaron got defensive. 'I'm not...y'know.'
'Right well, some advice, for future reference, your not likely to pull any birds in a gay bar mate.'
Aaron dropped his head and blushed.
'I think I'm gonna go,' Aaron turned and started to walk away.
'Aw come on, I was joking,' Aaron felt Jackson grabbed his arm and he turned back around.
'No look mate, I dont feel up to it,' Aaron said.
'Look I understand what it's like. I was like you at one point. Dont worry once you're inside you'll get over it. Everyone in there is the same...well pretty much. No-one's gonna laugh or stare trust me.'
'I dont know I just...' Aaron generally did feel sick. He just wanted to go home and call Victoria to make himself feel normal again.
'So you're going?' Jackson sighed. He was slightly disappointed. 'Right here then.'
Jackson held his hand out making Aaron's heart speed up, thinking he was gonna hold Aarons, then realising it was a piece of small white card. He took it and saw Jackson's number on it.
'Business card. Nice.' Aaron rolled his eyes.
'Give me a call if you feel up to it anytime soon.' Jackson smiled.
Aaron sighed and looked at the ground. Jackson didn't move. He knew Aaron wanted to go in. He understood. Aaron was knew to it all so he had to be patient with him.
'Aww come on. You know what I'm not letting you go home actually. You made the effort to come out so get in.'
Aaron breathed in some confidence and made his way into the club. He wasn't scared of anything, let alone one of these bars.
So in he went.
Paddy was on his way home. He'd seen everything. He was confident he knew. When Aaron got in he needed to have a serious word with him. He'd seen Aaron try to get away from that Jackson. Jackson had pressured him into staying. He saw Jackson hand him whatever it was. He'd been hoping Aaron would walk away, but he went in. He thought he was more responsible than that. When Aaron got home he'd sort it out. Aaron was his responsibility now.
Back at the club, Aaron's nerves were gone. He was actually enjoying himself. This Jackson was hilarious. He had Aaron laughing for the first time in a while.
'So a mechanic?' Jackson nodded approval. 'Hows that going for ya?'
'Ermm...not so well,' Aaron bit his lip. 'I kinda quit.'
'What for?'
'My boss was gonna sack me anyway so I thought I'd get there before him,' Aaron shrugged.
'What'd you do?'
'Show up late. Missed appointments. Messed up a lot of jobs.'
'Well I'd definately come to you if my car messed up.'
'Thanks.' Aaron said sarcastically. 'Its just cause of...what am going through. I cant exactly tell him why am not with it at the minute.'
'Course not.' Jackson agreed with him. 'You shouldn't have to tell him.'
'He's my uncle too so he'd just tell my Mum and Paddy and it would just get out of hand.'
'They'll find out eventually you know.'
'You gonna tell them like?'
'Course not. But they will find out.'
Aaron didn't say anything but drank his pint.
He hadn't spoke to anyone about any of this. Jackson was easy to talk to. Maybe because he was the same. He'd obviously went through it all too. He seemed alright now.
'I'm gonna head off,' Aaron said.
Jackson nodded, knowing that Aaron would only be able to take so much.
He walked Aaron to the door.
'I'll call ya yeah?' Jackson nodded.
Aaron nodded and gave a small wave before leaving for the bus.
When he got in Paddy was sitting at the table.
'Good night,' Paddy asked plainly.
Aaron nodded and sat down.
'We need to talk,' Paddy said.
'Go for it,' Aaron said.
'I've booked you in to see someone tomorrow. To solve this problem you've got.'
Aaron panicked. He knew. He knew everything.
'Paddy I can explain,' Aaron said.
'Go on then. But first of all, give me the drugs.'
'Drugs? I haven't got any.'
'Give me them now! I know you're doing drugs. Jackson's your dealer I know.'
'You know nothin!' Aaron jumped up and Paddy followed.
He squared up to Aaron. Aaron then lost it. He laid his hands onto each of Paddy's shoulders and shoved him as hard as possible before running up to his room. He heard the crashing sound and Paddy cry out. He didn't turn around to see if he was okay. He kept running up to his room too scared to see what he'd done to Paddy.
He waited a while knowing Paddy would come upstairs as usual to talk to him.
He didn't. In fact he couldn't hear Paddy moving about downstairs at all.
Aaron got scared. He didn't want to see what he'd done to Paddy.
He curled up on his bed and closed his eyes. Paddy would be alright. He always was.
Hopefully.
