James felt the sun streaming in from the window and stretched his arms forward, forgetting he wasn't alone. Soon, his fingertips met warm, soft skin and he left his hands there for a moment, unsure what he was feeling. He opened his eyes slowly and saw that he was face to face with Logan. James retracted his hands quickly and gasped slightly, silently praying Logan hadn't felt him. Just a few seconds later, Logan began to stir and James scooted back a few inches, pretending to just be waking up as well.
"What time is it?" Logan groaned.
"Uh," James stuttered, reaching over to check his phone on the nightstand. "It's almost nine."
"We don't have to be at work until eleven, right?" Logan stretched his arm out towards James and stopped when his fist met the side of James' body. James froze, waiting for Logan to move his hand but Logan sighed and presumably went back to sleep, leaving his hand touching James' bare side. James' heart was beating out of his chest and he still hadn't taken a breath since Logan touched him. He thought about scooting away for just a second, just so that he could bring his hand up and intertwine his fingers with Logan's. Logan would turn to James in surprise but smile and roll over into his chest. They'd curl up together and spend the rest of the day napping and sharing sweet kisses. James found himself smiling before he realized that he was still alone; Logan on his own side of the bed. Not wanting to upset himself further, James pushed Logan's hand back towards the sleeping boy and sat up loudly. "What's up man?" Logan frowned at the other boy.
"Nothing," James said coldly, only upset with himself for thinking that way.
"Okay," Logan stretched again before sitting up and James had to look away for fear of drooling. Logan hair was no longer in its perfect state. It was no longer styled and was tousled across his head. James did gaze back for just a second, at the worst possible time. Logan ran his fingers through his hair, attempting to tame it back down. James' eyes traveled from his face, down his neck, stopping at his shoulders, having to take a breath. With the way the light was streaming in, Logan looked like an angel. It took every ounce of self-control James had not to say something, not to reach across and hold Logan. "I guess I'll be going unless you want to shower together?" James' eyes nearly bugged out of his head.
"W-w-what?" he said softly, feeling his cheeks grow hotter.
"I said," Logan moved his head a little and smiled, making James look at him. "I'll go ahead and head home unless you wanna get breakfast or something."
"Breakfast!" James exclaimed, laughing loudly. "You said breakfast!"
"Why?" Logan began laughing too. "What'd you think I said?"
"Nothing," James shook his head, still smiling at Logan. The two of them stayed that way for a few seconds. And for those few seconds, James really felt like Logan knew how he felt and magically, felt the same way.
"Alright," Logan threw the covers off of himself and grabbed his shirt from the chair in the corner. "I'm just going to go home and shower and meet you up at Paramount, cool?" Logan stood up, taking James' silence as an answer. "Later man," Logan called out before slamming the front door.
"You slept in the same fucking bed and you didn't tell him?!" Kendall nearly shouted.
"It's not that easy, Kendall!" James shouted back. "I've been in love with him for so long; I'm just worried about how he'll take it. I can't lose him in my life, I just can't."
"Who says you'll have to?" Kendall sighed and looked at his best friend, noticing how upset he was about the predicament. "You can't help who you love. But you can help whether or not you tell them."
"Who does James love?" both boys whipped their heads around to see Carlos standing in the doorway, a large grin planted on his face.
"No one," James grumbled, giving Kendall a death glare.
"Maybe we should tell him," Kendall suggested softly, avoiding the horrible look James was giving him.
"Tell me!" Carlos whined, not knowing the whole situation but immediately feeling left out for not knowing.
"There's nothing to tell, Kendall," James clenched his teeth.
"Dude, he's our best friend, the worst that could happen is he tells Logan."
"Tell Logan what?" Carlos was feeling extremely hurt the two were keeping something important from him. "You guys…"
"Carlos," Kendall walked over and shut his dressing room door and brought his friend to sit on the couch, across from James. "What we're about to tell you is the biggest secret we've ever kept and absolutely no one outside of this room can know about it, not even Logan."
"Especially not Logan," James chimed in, shocked that he was going along with this.
"Okay…" Carlos looked back and forth between the two suspiciously.
"James…" Kendall looked at his best friend and gave him an encouraging nod, knowing it was him who needed to say it.
"Um, Carlos," James took a deep breath and swallowed the lump in his throat. "I, uh, I'm in love with someone…someone you know."
"It's not Ariel is it? Because I swear to God if you've gone and fallen in love with the girl I'm in love with, I'm going to—"
"Carlos!" Kendall interrupted, "let him finish."
"I'm not in love with Ariel," James smiled. "It's the opposite actually," James rubbed the back of his neck nervously, as he struggled to get out what he was trying to say.
"Opposite?" Carlos questioned. "Like opposite of Ariel or opposite sex?" Carlos had hit the nail right on the head.
"Exactly!" Kendall interjected.
"Well, I'm the opposite of Ariel," Carlos half smiled, knowing that wasn't the answer.
"Not you either, Carlitos," James grinned, thankful Carlos was making this easier. "A guy," James stumbled out. "I'm in love with a guy."
"You're in love with Logan," Carlos said confidently, grinning ear to ear.
"You aren't mad?" James asked cautiously.
"I'm mad you guys made such a big deal about this!" he laughed. "When you said I couldn't tell Logan, I figured you guys were breaking the band up and kicking Logan out!" The three laughed together. "It's cool with me," Carlos shrugged. "So are you guys, like gonna date?"
"See!" Kendall shouted, getting excited. "James thinks that Logan would never be into him and is scared to death to tell him but I think they'd be perfect!"
"Is Logan gay too?" Carlos asked.
"No," James groaned.
"You don't know that!" Kendall shouted again. "He hasn't said anything to him about it so how in the world is he supposed to know? And, AND, last night, the two of them slept shirtless, in the same bed. If that's not a relationship, I don't know what is."
"How can you just assume that, James?" Carlos tried calming down the situation. "It wouldn't hurt to say something, I mean, you could always just come out to him and see how he reacts."
"But what if he reacts badly, Carlos," James was beginning to regret telling his other friend for fear he too would pressure him into telling Logan. "It's just easier to keep this to myself."
"Easier on who, Jamie?" Carlos resulted to the nick-name he only used in special situations. "Your heart won't be able to take much more of this if you keep acting like you're just friends with Logan."
Suddenly there was a knock at the door and the three boys whipped their heads around to see Logan opening the door.
"Hey, bitches," he smiled and walked into Kendall's room. "Band meeting without me?"
"We were just discussing something really important," Kendall smirked, knowing that he had Carlos on his side. He was going to bait James into telling Logan.
"What's so important?" Logan asked, looking at each of them.
"Nothing really," Carlos smiled and glared at Kendall while James gave a sigh of relief. "We actually just decided to have a guy's night at my house this weekend."
"We did?" James questioned, wondering where Carlos was going with this.
"Sounds great," Logan smiled.
"Yeah, James has something he'd like to discuss with you and he's a little apprehensive about it, so I figured we'd have a chill time so he'd loosen up and be able to tell you," Carlos winked at Kendall and avoided James' gaze.
"Dude, you don't have to be shy about telling me anything," Logan looked at James a little hurt his buddy was having trouble confiding in him. "I'm here for you, man." James stood there in shock that this conversation had escaladed so quickly. One moment Carlos had his back and now Logan's feelings were hurt that James was keeping something from him. "You could tell me now," Logan smiled.
"Just do it, James," Kendall chimed in.
James groaned, knowing there was no way he could get out of this. Either he would have to tell Logan now or wait for a few days but have Logan upset with him. "I, uh," James laughed nervously and Logan smiled back, hoping to give him confidence but James just swooned. "I'm, uh, I'm bisexual," he blurted out and Kendall's jaw dropped to the floor while Carlos just stood there smiling.
"Oh, uh," Logan's face faltered a bit but soon his smile was back. "That's cool dude," he stood up and shook James' hand, pulling him in for a half hug. "No judgment here, man. I thought it was going to be something really serious. You had me worried," he laughed.
"I told you it wasn't a big deal James," Kendall teased. "Now we can hang out this weekend and see if anything else comes to light," he winked and James almost slapped him.
"Yeah, we could find you a boyfriend," Carlos joined in on the teasing but Logan frowned at the mention, unaware only James' caught it.
"I don't need you guys to find me a boyfriend," James tried to laugh off the situation but was just hoping they'd all drop it. Kendall and Carlos continued laughing, leaving the dressing room but Logan only half smiled at James. James immediately knowing this was Logan's 'fake smile.' He wondered to himself why Logan's mood changed at the mention of him dating someone. His mind immediately assumed it was because Logan wanted to be with him but sanity quickly dismissed that idea. James shook his head and went to join the rest of the cast, hoping to just get through the next few days before he'd have to spend a weekend with the guys.
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