CHAPTER 3
I got back out of bed and went down to the kitchen. It would take at least forty minutes for Em to get here and I needed to do something while waiting. She hated to drive, especially at night so for her to come to my house after 9:00 PM was a huge sacrifice. I pulled out all of my baking supplies and spread them across the counter top. I decided to make chocolate chip muffins. I always bake when I'm upset or angry or frustrated...or hungry; it's something that comes easily to me and the instant I can smell the aroma of something baking throughout my house, I start to relax...and something with chocolate was a double bonus. I set out two tea cups and a teapot on a serving tray. Chamomile tea would go nicely with the muffins...although it would probably make Em gag.
As I was taking the muffins out of the oven to cool, I heard a knock at my front door. I peered through the glass to see Em standing there with a wool knit cap practically covering her eyes and a paper bag nestled in the crook of her arm. I wrapped my sweater around me and opened the door, bracing myself against the rush of cold air that was about to hit me. Em gave me a hug and kissed my cheek. I could smell what I thought was beer on her breath.
"I'm here and have brought reinforcements," she said as she pulled a bottle of Prosecco out of the paper bag she was carrying.
"Are you completely insane?" I asked, half kidding and half serious.
"Yep!" answered Em as she pulled off her cap and jacket. She was wearing an Iron Maiden t-shirt, flannel lounge pants with bunnies on them and fuzzy slippers. She was the most unique individual I had ever met and I envied her non-conformist ways. She was who she was and she made no excuses for it.
"Stunning ensemble, Em...it's so...'let's clean out the garage' chic!" I said as I clapped.
"I aim to please," she said as she curtsied. I followed her into the kitchen as she took out two fluted glasses from my cupboard. She saw the muffins and the tea tray and wrinkled up her nose.
"Tea? Are YOU completely insane?" she said with a smirk. She removed the china from the tray and placed the fluted glasses in its place, then picked it up and carried it back into the living room. I grabbed the tray of muffins and followed her.
"Now...tell me what happened. Did dinner not go well?" she said as she sat and poured the Prosecco.
"Dinner was fine. It was who was at dinner that wasn't so fine," I said. Em and I had never talked about our high school years, so she had no idea about Matthew Casey or what I was about to tell her.
"One of Kelly's ex's?" she said with a grin.
"No...actually, it was one of mine," I said. Em choked on the muffin she was eating and spit it all over my coffee table.
"Stephen?" she asked once she stopped sputtering.
"Jesus no, Em...it was a guy from high school...my first love...I mean...my first serious love," I said as I tried to wipe up the pieces of muffin from my coffee table.
"Holy shit, Madster! What happened? What did you do? Does Kelly know?" she said in rapid fire succession.
"Kelly knows...and let's just say he's not exactly overjoyed, mainly because there seems to be a rivalry of some sort between them and it isn't exactly friendly. I overheard two of the men talking about it when I was in the bathroom. Kelly did everything short of peeing on me to mark his territory," I said, feeling my emotions go from resentment to passion for Kelly and his male attitude.
"How did it make you feel to see...what's his name?" she asked.
"Matthew...Matthew Casey. He's the commanding officer on Truck 81...a lieutenant like Kelly. Honestly? I was shocked. We adored each other in our senior year of high school, but we lost touch when I moved to New York to go to college. There was a death in his family and a lot of problems afterwards. I wanted to stay with him, but my parents wouldn't let me...mostly my Mother. Last time I saw him was eight years ago when he came to my Mom's funeral. He was engaged to a med student by then and I was newly married," I said as my voice trailed off. Even though it had been many years ago, losing touch with Matthew was still something that bothered me deeply.
"Problems? Is that why you didn't keep in touch?" asked Em as she picked at one the chocolate chip muffin.
"I don't know...I never asked him. I didn't think my Mom's funeral was the place to bring up what happened, and neither did he, apparently," I said.
"Soooooo...how did things end tonight?" asked Em.
"Tetchy, I think. I gave Matt my business card. He wants to get together to catch up. Kelly nearly burst into flames, I swear...he grilled me just before I left," I said, grinning at my boyfriend's jealousy.
"Kelly Severide is one hot guy, Mads...you're so lucky to have him...and now this. Not many guys can trump him. He must be reeling," said Em. She was always commenting on Kelly's looks. I don't know any woman who wouldn't. He was stunning and had a swaggering confidence and charm and exuded all the right pheromones.
"Yeah, I know...but it's just two old friends catching up. No ulterior motives." I said. I wondered why she seemed more concerned for Kelly than for me.
"You gonna drink that or not?" Em asked as she pointed towards my untouched glass of Prosecco.
"No, Em...I have to be sharp tomorrow. I'm filling in for Conway at the Department Head meeting, remember?" I said. Without another word, she grabbed my glass and downed the wine.
"You think Kelly will hound you now?" said Em.
"Hell yes! He gets off shift at 8:00 tomorrow morning and I'm sure my cell will be ringing at 8:02. I know there is a lot more he wants to ask me,. Good thing Department Head doesn't start until 9:00," I said.
"You're one lucky bitch," said Em. If anyone other than Em had said that, I would have taken offense to it, but I knew what she meant. She just had a different way of expressing it than most people.
"Come on, Em...it's late. Why don't you stay here tonight? You can sleep in my spare bedroom and wear something of mine tomorrow," I said as I got up from the sofa and picked up the tray. Em could easily drink more than I could, but I could tell there was something bothering her tonight. She had obviously been drinking before she got here and she had finished half a bottle of Prosecco while we were talking. Em followed me out into the kitchen and helped me clean up.
"Good night, Em...I'll wake you at 6:00 or so?" I said as I hugged her.
"Make it 6:30, Mads...and have a handful of ibuprofen," she said, grinning at me. I don't know if I imagined it or not as it was dark in the upstairs hallway, but I thought I could see tears in her eyes. Besides my Dad, she was my strongest support system but I knew deep down she was hiding some pain of her own.
I climbed back into bed and pulled the covers up tight to my chin. I lay there in the dark, my mind turning the events of the evening over and over again. I was finally in a good place, both personally and professionally. Not perfect by any means, but fairly stable and relatively happy.
It took every ounce of strength I had to recover from my divorce and move back here to start over again and now that I had done that, I lived in constant fear that something would ruin it.
Finding Kelly was something I never expected, but now that he was a part of my life I didn't want anything to interfere with that. He awakened a part of me I never knew existed, but seeing Matthew again reminded me of the life I had before meeting Stephen...before making the biggest mistake of my life, when everything was golden and I was in love with the guy I should have married. But we were kids and I wasn't being realistic...or so I told myself to cushion the blow of losing him.
My Mom used to tell me that she knew Matthew was "the one". For the longest time, I blamed her for losing contact with Matthew and for my failed marriage. If she had let me stay in Chicago, I might have been happily married to Matthew now instead of divorced from Stephen and still searching for my life at the age of thirty-four. I couldn't understand why she made me believe that Matthew and I belonged together, yet not hesitate in ripping me away from him when he needed me the most. I don't know the man Matthew is now, but I would soon find out...at least in part. As I rolled over to try to sleep, I had an overwhelming feeling that my life would soon be spinning out of control again but I had no idea why...and I was afraid to think about it too much for fear of finding the answer.
