The delegation from Heaven's Peak stormed into the throne room in a swirl of skirts, scattering minions like pigeons.
"Lady Rose!" A tall, slender woman snapped. "Where's your Lord? I owe him a good slap or two."
Rose hid a smile.
"Hello, Mathilde. Hello, ladies. I'm afraid the Overlord is away on business."
"He told you to say that, didn't he?" Mathilde peered at her, suspicious.
"He asked me to tell you how terribly sorry he was for rescuing you all from a hellish dimension full of deamons and wraiths and other horrible things, though."
"Hmph! Rescued, my arse."
Gnarl was conspicuously absent. Rose hid another smile.
"Regardless, you've all been doing a bang-up job running things in Heaven's Peak."
"We have, haven't we? You know what they say, never send a man to do a woman's job."
"They say that, do they?"
"Oh! That reminds me!" Mathilde gestured, and a brow-beaten-looking man scurried forward, laden down with packages. "The ladies and I have knocked together a few things for you. Just a couple of little things, really, things that we thought you might be able to use. With the baby on the way and all."
Rose opened a package, pulled out a little knit jumper. It was, she noted, an extremely bright yellow.
"Oh, how thoughtful!" she cried. She opened another. "Oh, how darling! Little booties!"
She realized she was cooing, cleared her throat and set the gifts aside.
"Thank you, ladies. That was very kind of you." She folded her hands over her belly. "Now, what can I help you with?"
"It's about the Dwarven lands, my Lady."
Rose suppressed a sigh.
"Let me guess. You think you have the rightful claim to it, is that correct?"
"Well, it does border Heaven's Peak."
"I'm afraid I've already entered into an agreement with the Elves, granting them the rights to the territory."
"Hmph. Them elves, they're run by a king, ain't they?" Mathilde groused.
"Yes, but they do worship the Mother Goddess," Rose reminded her. "Why does Heaven's Peak wish to control the Dwarven lands? I would have thought your city had enough to deal with, cleaning up after the Plague and the Overlords."
"That's just it, my Lady," Mathilde said, looking embarrassed. "We need money. I know you've not had the chance to be out and about much these past few months, but half of Heaven's Peak is still in ruins."
"Hmm. The Elves are mainly interested in the Dwarven lands for its fields, and I doubt that any of them would be keen to go underground again. Perhaps we could work out some kind of arrangement with them- Heaven's Peak could work the mines, and in exchange, the Elves would receive a small portion of the gold you bring up."
"But, my Lady, by rights the Dwarven lands should belong to us!"
Rose rubbed her temples, exhausted.
"You're the third person I've had in here inside a week who's said that. I'm sorry, but we'll have to find a way to reach a compromise."
Mathilde glanced around at her retinue and nodded.
"Alright. We'll have a chat about it, and we'll get back to you."
"I'm sure that we can work something out."
"Thank you for your time, Lady Rose. And do bring your little one up to Heaven's Peak some day, will you? We'll show her how a proper city's run."
"I'll do that."
Gnarl crept out from behind the throne after they'd gone, sneering.
"You see, this is what happens when women start running things," he muttered.
"They maintain a stable government, rebuild civic centers torn down by a giant, and reestablish trade routes after a magical plague devastates their city?" Rose asked him.
He snorted, picked up the jumper by the tips of his claws.
"Yellow!" he snapped. "Hardly the right color for an Overlord! It should be crimson, or black, maybe!"
"I'm getting tired of reminding you, Gnarl. My child is not the Overlord."
"Yes, yes, as you wish, Mistress."
Rose sighed. She had a couple of farmers to deal with later in the afternoon- something about a wife, or a sheep, or possibly both at once. She rubbed at her temples.
"Bring me a table and my papers. I don't want to go all the way back upstairs. Oh, and I could use a spot of tea, and a bit of lunch."
"Of course, Mistress."
"Don't forget the cream again."
"Yes, Mistress, I won't."
He hobbled away, muttering to himself.
"He's quite the odd little thing, isn't he?" Florian observed.
Rose snorted.
"Said the pot to the kettle."
"Hey, I'm pleasantly quirky, lady. Maybe eccentric, even. Him, though, that thing's just weird." He leaned on the bars, curious. "How old is he, anyways?"
"I have no idea."
"You know...he's gonna keep trying to turn your kid into the Overlord."
"Yes, I know." Rose sighed, shuffling her papers. "I can handle him."
"Really? You don't think he'll be whispering in your kid's ear whenever you're not around? Telling him how much fun it would be to go out and smash something?"
"Hmm." Rose looked up at him, thoughtful. "You're more perceptive than you look."
"Not sure if that's a compliment or not, but thanks, I guess." The elf leaned back, swinging idly from the bars. "He's totally plotting something. I can tell."
"Mistress," Gnarl gasped, puffing up the steps. "Your tea. And sandwiches."
"Thank you." She took a sip of tea, regarding him over the rim. "Gnarl, I've found a lovely little castle just beyond Spree that I'm thinking of moving us into."
"Oh, Mistress?"
"It's a wonderful little place, just full of climbing vines and flowers. It's like something out of a fairy tale."
"Oh." Gnarl gave her what he hoped was a convincing smile. "That sounds...nice...Mistress. Very...nice."
"I'm so glad you agree."
He hobbled away into the depths of the castle, shaking his head. Rose stared after him, drumming her fingers.
"Yes, he's absolutely up to no good. I mean, he's always up to no good, of course, but you know what I mean."
She took a bite of the sandwich. Florian made a face.
"You sure you should be eating that?" he asked. "That meat looks pretty raw."
"Are you concerned about me?" She smiled, more than a little touched. "Don't be. This honestly isn't even one of the strangest things this baby's made me crave."
He looked away, grimacing. Elves were, as a rule, mostly vegetarian, and when they did eat meat it wasn't so rare it could get up and run away. Rose bent her head over her papers, quill scratching.
"Huh." She heard Florian say. And then, "Gross."
She looked up, turned towards him. The motion saved her life.
A dart whistled past her shoulder, embedded itself in the throne behind her.
"Minions!" she screamed.
A hooded figure scrambled behind a pillar. The minions boiled after it, hooting, dragged the intruder before her, threw him on the marble floor and piled on top of him, restraining him.
"Mff!" he said, glaring up at her. "Mmm, mmm, mff!"
His mouth was stitched shut. Rose pulled the dart from the throne and sniffed it, dropped it hastily on the desk.
"Sandthorn!" She gasped. "Poison."
Gnarl hurried to her side.
"Mistress, are you quite alright?"
"I'm fine. No thanks to this absolute bastard." She nodded to the dart. "Somebody take care of this, will you? Don't let it touch your skin."
A minion took the dart nervously, scurried away. She heard a clatter, and a sharp yelp, sighed, rubbing her temples.
"Yet another mess to clean up."
She stood, eyes hard, looking down at the assassin.
"A member of the Silent Order, hmm? I thought we'd wiped you all out."
He just glared up at her in response. Rose smiled.
"It seems our friend here has a little difficulty talking." She gestured to a minion. "Help him out, will you?"
The minion grinned, ripped a claw through the stitches. The man screamed, blood splattering the marble floor. Rose stared down at him.
"Who sent you? Why did you try to kill me?"
"Go to the hells," he mumbled thickly, through ruined lips.
"Mistress asked you a question," a minion hissed, running a claw over his neck. "Don't be naughty."
"Don't waste my time," Rose snapped. "Why did the Order send you?"
He just glared at her mutely in response. She felt her lip curl.
"Take him to the dungeons," she growled. "I'll deal with him personally. Bring me my needles."
"Mistress, are you sure that's wise?" Gnarl asked her worriedly. "In your condition-"
"What would be wise, Gnarl, is doing what I asked you to do!"
"Ah...yes. Right away, Mistress."
The minions carried the struggling man away, chuckling. Rose shook out a map on her desk, irritable.
"Bastard made me spill my tea," she snapped.
She looked up, realized that Florian was watching her, eyes wide.
"What?" she snapped.
"You're..." he coughed, cleared his throat. "You're kind of scary, lady."
"I'm an Overlord's Mistress, and someone just tried to kill me, and my baby." She smiled, suddenly feral. "I'm not scary, I'm terrifying."
-x-
The assassin was stretched out awaiting her arrival, lashed to a rack. The minions laid her gear on a table beside him with wary respect. Many of them were gathered at the cell door, standing on each other's shoulders, craning their necks, eager to watch their Mistress work.
"I wanted to do this the easy way," Rose told him. She uncorked a vial carefully, dipped a long needle into the dark liquid. "But in the end, this is just as efficient. It's simply a lot more painful."
The man eyed the liquid beading on the tip of the needle, gave her a defiant look.
"Nothing you do to me can make me talk, you bitch."
"Oh, how rude." Rose drew the needle down his inner arm, just hard enough to scratch. "I'm afraid I'll have to teach you a lesson in manners."
The man howled, a line of fire blooming down his arm, poison spreading dark tendrils through his skin, boiling through every cell it came in contact with. Rose made a note in a book.
"Hmm. Interesting reaction. It appears that you're allergic to bloodroot, which will only serve to heighten the pain, I'm afraid."
"Go to the hells!"
"So very, very rude."
She slid a series of needles into the skin of his arm and left them there, sat back to examine her work. He shrieked as the skin around the needle boiled, blisters forming and bursting on his arm.
"I really don't take any pleasure in this," Rose lied, selecting another vial. "Let's try deathshead moss, shall we? Unless, of course, you'd like to tell me why you tried to kill me."
He bared his teeth at her. She trailed a line of pinpricks down his chest, blood welling black in their wake. The man howled and bucked against his restraints. She made another note in her book.
"You know, the fascinating thing about poisons is, everyone reacts to them a little bit differently. It all depends on your age, your sex, your species, even, sometimes, what you've had to eat that day." She stoppered the vial, pulled out another. "For example, sandthorn, which is what you tried to use on me today, is not just a poison, it's a powerful abortifacient." She slid the needle under the skin of his inner thigh. "It also can render men permanently sterile. Essentially, it targets the tissues of a man's stones in particular, breaking them down."
He started to scream again. Rose smiled.
"Yes, just like that. Shall we go on? I also know that sandthorn sap is rather expensive, as it comes all the way from the deserts of Ruboria. I want to know who sent you, and why. Was it the Order? Was it the Ruborians?"
The man was whimpering now, eyes rolling. Rose waiting, drumming her fingers.
"I have plenty of other poisons I'd love to try."
"Please," he begged her.
"Are you ready to talk?"
"Please, I can't, she'll kill me!"
"Who will kill you?"
He clamped his lips shut, shaking. Rose sighed, picked up another vial.
"I'm prepared to do this all night," she told him. "And when I get tired, I have longer-acting poisons that will keep you screaming for days."
"Please...please, no more."
She leaned over him as best she could manage, holding the needle poised above his eye.
"Who will kill you?"
He shivered. She arced an eyebrow.
"This is blindroot. Ocular contact with it causes severe damage to the eye."
He shook his head, terrified. She flicked her wrist, and a drop splashed down onto his eyelid. He made a high-pitched noise of pain, hurling himself against the ropes as his eye began to bleed.
"Shall I continue?" Rose asked him.
"She'll...she'll kill me!"
"Unfortunately for you, I will not. I'll simply continue to hurt you until you tell me what I want to know. Shall I take your other eye?"
"No, please- no more, please! There was a lady who came to us, to the Order. Said she had a way for us to take revenge on the Overlord. That's all I know, honest!"
"Do you know her name?"
"No, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I don't remember!"
"What did she look like?"
His face took on an almost raptured look.
"She's...she's beautiful. Curves like a demon, and a face like an angel. All in black lace, with-"
"Velvet!" Rose exclaimed.
"Yes, yes, that's right, that's her name!"
"That absolute bitch." She turned back to the assassin. "Where is she hiding?"
"In the sewers under Heaven's Peak."
"How appropriate, she's down there with the rest of the filth." She jabbed a needle into his jugular, and he relaxed. "Sleep, now. You've earned your rest."
She stood upright with a wince, hands shaking. She'd known her sister would have skittered off to some dark corner of the world after the Second Overlord's defeat. She just hadn't realized that corner would be so very close to home.
"Have him draw me a map when he's awake and functional again," she snapped. "I want to ferret that bitch out of wherever she's been skulking. I'm finally going to make her pay."
